


Circumstance

by AngelSolomonn



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Attempted Sexual Assault, Comfort/Angst, Explicit Sexual Content, F/F, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Love, Psychological Trauma, Psychology, Romance, Smut, Therapy, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-12
Updated: 2018-12-08
Packaged: 2019-07-11 09:44:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 93,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15969776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelSolomonn/pseuds/AngelSolomonn
Summary: Emma is an owner of a renowned Fitness Club called Swan Fitness and is also a grad student seeking a Master's in Counseling. Regina is one of Emma's professors and soon to be a member of her club. Will they allow their circumstance to prevent their feelings from evolving? Or will they fight to have their chance at their happy-ending?





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! This is my first and only story I've written. It's taken a lot of time and effort, but I really hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. The story is actually complete so I will be updating it fairly regularly. Your comments/kudos/thoughts would be much appreciated :)

The sharp sound of an alarm roused Emma from her sleep, but just before her hand reached out to press the snooze button on her phone, she remembered the alarm's purpose: today was supposed to be her first day at grad school. She reluctantly pulled herself up and rubbed her eyes, trying desperately to erase away any sliver of sleep. She was desperately failing.

Hoping cold water would do the job, she stumbled her way towards the bathroom, tripping over her last night's clothes but bracing herself against the wall before impact, and finally reached the sink that promised consciousness.

An hour later, Emma was driving to Harvard University, the place she knew she'd be spending most of her time at for the next two years or so. With Sia's 'I go to sleep' faintly playing in the background, Emma couldn't help but get lost in her own thoughts, recalling the first time she heard that song, and what circumstances revolved around it at the time. She shook her head once, but firmly, sending whatever painful memories threatening to climb to the surface tumbling down- it was not the time nor the place for such things.

Fifteen minutes later, Emma found herself being not-so-subtly watched by several students as she parked and stepped out of her car, a delicate but evident silence falling into place. She was never one to feel self-conscious, and knew that the main reason behind the stares was her car, a yellow limited edition Z/28 Chevy Camaro, with matt black rims and dark tinted windows. So, instead of glaring back, she just smirked and pressed the lock button on her key, making her Camaro beep and successfully making everyone in close proximity jump in surprise.

Emma was sure that there were tens, if not hundreds, of more expensive and impressive cars around, but she was well aware that her baby was still awesome. As she pulled her phone out of her back pocket to check the time, she was interrupted by someone's loud but friendly voice- "sweet ride!" the girl said. Emma turned around to find a tall, skinny girl with dark brown hair and red highlights, wearing a skirt and heels that did not seem fit for a day at university, but rather a night out at the club.

She couldn't help sizing her up, her eyes traveling from her long legs up to her hips and finally her lips- she was hot. Once she finally landed on her eyes, Emma realized that the girl was doing the same to her. She smirked, "Thanks."

"I'm Ruby, by the way," Ruby said as she put out her hand.

"Emma. Nice to meet you."

"So, Emma," glancing over at the blonde and grinning. "What do you study?"

"Psychology; I'm starting my Master's in counseling today."

Ruby's grin became wider, if that were even possible. "So, like, could you analyze me and shit?"

Emma couldn't help but sigh at that. Every time she mentioned her area of study, someone, without fail, had to ask if she could 'analyze' or 'read' them. It frustrated her beyond end. Not wanting to seem rude, she smiled back, "I'd have to lay you down on an expensive couch and ask you very personal questions to analyze you.” She paused to look around, then continued, “sadly, I don’t see any around.”

The girl with the red highlights only continued to grin. "Well, that's a shame. I can think of at least one thing I'd like to do on an expensive sofa."

Emma only chuckled, catching the hint but choosing to ignore it. "What about you? What do you study?"

"I'm doing a Master's in business. Boring, huh?"

"Not if you love it," Emma countered.

Ruby faltered, but only for a split second, before replying. "I'm good at it."

"But do you love it?" Emma couldn't help but ask.

Ruby went quiet for several moments, and Emma cursed herself for asking too much way too quickly. She had just met this girl and she was already asking her things that were none of her business. "I'm sorry," she immediately said. "You don't have to answer that."

"Nah, it's alright," she let out a breath. "It isn't a big deal, really. My grandmother owns her own company and I'm the only relative she has. I have to study business so that I can take over someday."

 _Don't be stupid and ask about her parents,_  Emma thought. Ruby said she's the only relative, so that means her parents are definitely out of the picture. "What about your parents?"  _Ugh, you're an idiot, Emma. There's no doubt about it._

"Uh, they both died. I was young but I still remember them."

"Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. I didn't mean to pry. I never knew my parents so I can relate," Emma spoke softly.

"Wait, you never knew them? How?" Ruby inquired.

Emma didn't want to go into details; she was a private person and didn't open up to others very easily, if ever. But she couldn't say so after asking so much of the girl- "Uh, yeah, I've been an orphan ever since I was a baby _." There, that was more than enough for now_ , she thought.

"Sucks, doesn't it?" Ruby really knew how to comfort, didn't she?

"Yeah but it's alright I suppose; you can't really miss what you've never had, you know?"

Before Ruby could say anything, they were interrupted by a voice pooling out from microphones situated atop surrounding buildings, "if today is your first day as a student, please start making your way towards the desk at the end of this parking lot. The assistants there will give you your schedules for this semester and help you if you have any other questions."

"Here, give me your phone so I could give you my number." Ruby reached out and took Emma's phone from her hand before she could protest.

"Wait, aren't you going to that desk?"

"It's not my first day here," she grinned.

"Oh," and before Emma could say any more, she found herself looking directly at Ruby's behind as it sauntered away.

The rest of Emma's day was uneventful to say the least. She didn't meet anyone and she didn't attempt to start a conversation with any of her classmates. She didn't consider herself to be an introvert, but she wasn’t very social either. She never found anyone interesting enough to start or keep up a conversation with, and that's why she could never form close friendships with anyone.

Her one hour break for that day finally came along, and she couldn't be happier. Her professors seemed good but somewhat dull, and she was glad to take a break from the boredom she had to endure for the past 3 hours. Finding an empty bench, Emma made her way towards it and sat down, a coffee in one hand and a paper bag containing her favorite pastry, a bear claw, in the other. Hardly lunch, but she wasn't up for anything more.

As she pulled it out of the bag to take a bite, she heard the faint click of heels approaching from her left, and turning around, pastry still at her lips, Emma caught a glimpse of possibly the most beautiful woman she had ever seen. Dark brown hair that barely covered her neck, deep brown eyes, perfectly manicured eyebrows and full red lips. Emma noticed a scar above the woman’s upper lip, and she wondered what circumstances resulted in such a scar.

The woman wore a black pencil skirt and a matching blazer, with a silk red blouse underneath. The faint click, she assumed, could only belong to those shiny black stilettoes the woman wore. Emma didn't need to see those red-bottoms to know that everything on that woman was expensive.

Before she could look away, the woman caught her staring and, to Emma's surprise, only raised an eyebrow and smirked. Emma quickly lowered her gaze back to her bear claw, wishing she had an invisibility cloak that could make her disappear on the spot. Thankfully, the woman continued to walk past her and didn't say anything, and that was that.

Or so Emma thought.

Ten minutes later, Emma realized that she was going to be late for her last class of the day- Neuroscience of learning and behavior change. She was actually looking forward to that one, and she heard that the professor, although strict, was one of the best in the psychology department. She certainly didn't want to screw it up by being late on her first day.

Even though she ran, she was still a minute late, and once she entered the lecture room, the professor had already started introducing herself. Emma didn't look up, and quickly made her way to the closest empty spot. "I apologize for being late, Professor. It won't happen again," she quickly announced.

"That's quite alright, Miss..?"

"Swan. Emma Swan."

"Miss Swan. You will soon discover, however, that I am much more irritated by being interrupted than by tardiness."

At this, Emma finally looked up to see none other than the beautiful stranger she saw ten minutes ago, and again, Emma was surprised to see a raised arch and a smirk instead of the angry scowl she expected.

Emma didn't get the chance to say anything else as the brunette resumed her introduction. "As I was saying before I was interrupted" some giggled, and Emma found herself sinking into her seat to hide the flush rising to her cheeks. "My name is Dr. Regina Mills, and I will be teaching you everything there is to know about Neuroscience of learning and behavior change. I'm sure you've heard many rumors about me. Anyone care to share with us?"

Someone in the back raised his hand, and Emma didn't have the energy to turn around to see who it was. "You're hella strict."

Everyone laughed, and the professor only smirked. "Very true."

Emma realized that she was staring at that smirk for too long far too late because Regina had to call her name twice before catching her attention. "Miss Swan?" she asked.

"Uh, yes, Professor?"

"What have you heard about me?" that smug smirk never faltering from those red lips.

"That, uh-that even though you're strict, you're still a remarkable professor and fair when it comes to grading."

"Can't deny the fact that I'm remarkable," she laughed, and the class laughed with her. "And yes, I try to be fair as much as I can. I like to see my students making an effort in my class, I like to see that they care. In my world, grades are not everything, and as such, I try to assess each student and their ability individually. Having a class of 19 students helps me do that, and I intend to do that, with your assistance, of course."

Emma finally looked around and couldn't see a single face that wasn't smiling, and she smiled, because this woman's words could certainly leave a crowd breathless at her feet. She looked back at her Professor and arrived to a quick but sure conclusion: this class was going to be her favorite.


	2. Chapter 2

Although the next day was busy, it wasn't nearly as interesting as the day before, and Emma hoped her other classes and her trip to her gym would keep her mind off of a certain brunette. She soon discovered, however, the futility of her attempts when her assistant barged into her office after seemingly knocking for the past minute.

"Boss! Are you okay?" he stumbled in, looking frantically at his boss and trying to decipher why she wasn't answering her door.

"Yeah, Neal. I'm fine. What's up?" Emma shook her head, trying to disperse the all-consuming thought of her Neuroscience professor.

"It's just that I was knocking for a while and you weren't answering, so I got worried."

"Oh, yeah, sorry. I was just thinking." She grinned at his concern. "Did you need anything?"

"Uh, you have a training session with Mrs. Smith. You know I'd take her for you but she asked for you specifically," he said apologetically, then smiled. "Guess she knows you're the best."

"Well," Emma smirked. "I do own this gym."

Neal chuckled, and shook his head at his boss's blatant boasting. "That you do, boss. That you do."

Two hours later, Emma made her way back to her office to collect her things and finally head home. Her gym was going to close in an hour or so and she trusted Neal to take care of that. Turning around after locking her office, though, she found Neal waiting for her with an expression alerting her that she wasn’t going home early after all.

She sighed. "What is it, Neal?"

"I'm sorry, boss. But there's a woman here who's considering signing up for a membership and she insists she speak to you first."

"It's alright. Is she downstairs?"

"Yup," he nodded. "She's waiting in the lounge."

"Awesome, I'll go downstairs then."

"Oh, and boss?" Neal spoke, a lopsided grin coming to place.

"Yeah?"

"She's super hot."

Emma shook her head and chuckled; maybe staying a little late wouldn't hurt so much.

When she finally got to the lounge, Emma got a great view of the woman's back- clad in a simple grey dress that hugged the woman in all the right places, accentuating her curves and most notably, her ass. She cleared her throat. "Sorry to keep you waiting. I'm Emma Swan, the owner and manager of this gym."

The woman finally turned around and smirked, and Emma couldn't help her mouth falling open at the sight before her. "Miss Swan, it's lovely to see you again."

Emma couldn't believe her eyes, and she had to shake her head once before refocusing on her professor. "Professor Mills, I wasn't expecting to see you here."

The professor only chuckled, a low and melodious sound that inexplicably made Emma's heart race. "Does it not look like I work out?"

"Uh- no… that's not what I meant. I mean…" Emma really needed to get herself under control. She was not used to being lost for words and feeling anxious around others, and she prided herself in her confidence. So, she took a deep breath and regained her composure. "I mean to say, you don't look like you need to work out at all."

The professor was taken aback by this, and she faltered but only for a second. Emma didn't miss a beat, and she grinned confidently.

"How may I help you, Professor?" Emma asked, still oblivious to why Regina Mills, out of all people, was here.

"Please, call me Regina. I am not your professor here."

"Regina," Emma smiled. "Then I suppose you might as well call me Emma."

"Emma," she breathed, and Emma decided she liked the sound of her name on the woman's lips. Perhaps a little too much. "I am considering purchasing a membership at your fitness club. I was wondering if you would be so kind as to show me around, and inform me of the benefits."

Emma almost missed the drop in Regina's tone and the smirk as she said the word 'benefits'. Almost.

"Of course, but doesn't Harvard have a fitness club on campus for faculty and students?" Emma was already aware of the answer, but she wanted to get a little more out of the brunette.

"They do," Regina admitted. "But they do not have personal trainers and what I am seeking is one-on-one training sessions."

"Ah, I see. And may I ask if you've heard of a particular trainer that you'd like to hire?"

Regina pretended to smile innocently, but it was far from it. "Well, yes. I suppose I have one in mind."

Emma returned the smile. This was definitely worth staying late for.

* * *

 

The tour would've normally taken five minutes max, but Emma took her time, hoping to milk the professor's company as much as she could. Regina was well aware of it, but chose to go along; she didn't really have anywhere else to go, and she enjoyed watching the blonde talk so animatedly about something that clearly meant a lot to her.

The gym was impressive to say the least. Two floors containing everything from weightlifting equipment to boxing rings to treadmills and the likes. In all honesty, Regina was considering visiting this gym for quite some time. Many of her colleagues and friends had recommended it and she had heard a lot of great things about the facility and the owner, a young woman who, at the age of 21, purchased the gym from its previous owner and built it once more from the ground up. Three years later, Swan's Fitness was one of the most renowned fitness clubs in Massachusetts, and its owner, Emma Swan, one of the best personal trainers in the state. That is why, when Regina found out that the same Emma Swan was her student at Harvard, she couldn't help but make an appearance.

As Emma talked on, telling her all about boxing and its benefits to one's body, Regina couldn't help letting her gaze travel up and down the blonde's body. This time, Emma wasn't wearing the skinny jeans and tank top she wore to school yesterday, but instead black and white tights that looked like they were painted onto her legs, outlining how muscular and toned they were. Her sports tank was a little loose, but gave Regina a perfect view of Emma's biceps and toned back. The woman was breathtaking, and Regina couldn't help but stare.

Emma, of course, could feel her professor’s stare, and stopped midsentence to stare back at her. "Prof- I mean Regina, are you okay?"

"Yes, yes of course. Please continue." Regina stammered. She never stammered.

Emma laughed. "Actually, I think I'm done. I probably told you way more than you cared to know."

"No, I was thoroughly engaged. Thank you for your time." Regina glanced at her watch; it was getting late. "And now, I am afraid I must go. Doesn't the club close in ten minutes anyway?"

Emma pulled out her phone to check the time. "Shit, yeah! I lost track of time."

"It's quite alright, Miss Swan."

"Emma," she corrected.

"I beg your pardon?" Regina's brows furrowed.

"Call me Emma.”

"Ah, yes, of course. Emma," she nodded. "Perhaps you could give me your card in case I have any other inquiries regarding the membership."

"Oh, yeah. Actually, all my cards are in my office, so I'll just have to give you my number directly."

"That's fine," Regina smiled politely, and handed her phone over to the blonde. "Thank you again, Emma. I enjoyed the tour. Your facility is quite remarkable."

"Can't deny it's remarkable," Emma reiterated her Professor's words from yesterday's class, and was rewarded with a raised eyebrow and a smirk.

"No, I suppose we can't."

* * *

 

That night, when Regina arrived to her mansion, she couldn't shake the thought of a certain blonde from her mind. She couldn't quite explain why she was so taken by the younger woman. Yes, she was very attractive, but she simply hadn't known her long enough to formulate an opinion about her.

She knew, however, and quite bizarrely, that she wanted to find out all there was to know about the blonde. She wanted to know her past, her present, and her plans for her future. It was highly illogical to say the least, and more than a little unwise. Regina was, first and foremost, Emma's professor. She couldn't possibly show favoritism by showing extra interest in her. Settling into her bed, Regina was resigned to dispense any urges she had felt towards her student, but her dreams that night refused to follow suit.

* * *

 

Seeing as Emma had to stay behind to show Regina around, she figured there was no point in letting Neal lock up. She told him he could go, but couldn't avoid his curious questions regarding the brunette.

"Wasn’t she totally hot?" Neal asked, smiling.

Emma caught herself before going into complete fangirl mode, not wanting to show how attracted she really was to Regina. "Yeah, I guess so."

"You guess so?" he asked, aghast. "I don't think I've seen anyone like her."

"Don't let your girlfriend hear you say that," she chuckled now, trying her best to remain light-hearted.

Neal grimaced. "Don't tell Tamara I said that. You know I love her."

"Don't worry, dude," patting his back. "I know you do."

"What about you? You haven't dated anyone in a while. And she seems like she's your type."

"Uh, yeah, I guess. But she's my professor, so I can't really do anything about that."

"Wait- What?" he gasped, his eyes widening. "She's one of your professors?"

Emma laughed; his expression resembled that of a cartoon character. "Yup, she is."

"That's gotta suck, boss."

"Oh, you have no idea," she sighed, then waved. "I'll see you later, Neal."

"Take care, boss."


	3. Chapter 3

Waking up ten minutes before her alarm, Emma decided to take a quick shower before heading to college. Not wanting to spend too much time deciding what to wear, she settled once again on her black skinny jeans and white tank, followed by her red leather jacket and black combat boots. She hesitated in front of her mirror for a second and took in the sight: simple, but good.

As she drove, Sia's voice filtered in once again, and she reminded herself that she really, really needed to get rid of that CD. Her thoughts travelled back to yesterday's conversation, and even though Emma knew Neal had her best interests at heart, she couldn't keep his words out of her head.  _You haven't been with anyone in a while_ , he had said. Sure, it's been a year and half since her last relationship, but it was still pretty recent…right?

Running her fingers through her hair, Emma decided not to think about it, not now at least, and focused instead on getting to her destination. Parking into the first spot she found, she got out and was greeted with a familiar loud voice and strong slap on the back. "Hey, bitch."

"Good morning to you too, Ruby," Emma chuckled, knowing that the term was a form of endearment to the redhead, albeit peculiar.

Wrapping her arm around Emma's shoulders like they were the best of friends, Ruby grinned. "Good morning. You never called, I was worried."

"Sorry, I got busy."

"Yeah, yeah. This is my friend, Mary Margaret." It was then that Emma noticed the girl with the pixie cut. The name was certainly unusual in this age, but looking at the girl, dressed in a white dress that covered her knees and a peach cardigan, she concluded that the name fit her perfectly.

She smiled sweetly. "Hi, I'm Mary. It's so nice to finally meet you! Ruby could not stop talking about you."

"MM! You're not supposed to tell her that!" Ruby scowled and swatted the girl playfully.

Emma couldn't help but laugh at the exchange. "Oh, really? I suppose I do leave lasting impressions, don't I?"

Now it was Emma's turn to be swatted. "Oh, shut up, you. A little humility might do you good."

"But then I wouldn't be me, you know?" Emma smirked, and Ruby couldn't do anything but roll her eyes.

"Mary is my roommate, and we were friends way before then."

"It's really nice to meet you, Mary Margaret," Emma smiled, then leaned in and whispered loud enough for Ruby to hear. "Now tell me, how bad is it living with this monster?"

Mary giggled, and Ruby rolled her eyes again. "I'm right here, you know. I can hear you loud and clear."

"Whoops, my bad."

"Yeah, yeah. Save it, blondie."

Emma didn't usually like nicknames, but for some reason didn't mind it when it came from Ruby. She, surprisingly, didn't mind how friendly Ruby was being with her either. It was hard for her to make friends, but she suspected that Ruby, and even Mary Margaret, would be easy to get along with. It was then that she decided to actually make an effort to develop this friendship, and announced, "Hey, are you guys free tonight? Maybe we can go out for drinks or something."

They both nodded and grinned. "Sounds like fun. I know a bar about ten minutes away from here. It's got killer music and some really hot dancers."

"Uh, it's not a strip club, is it?"

Ruby laughed, then shook her head. "No, don't worry. It's just this really cool bar that has dancing bartenders and shit."

"That's…different." Emma didn't know what to think of such a place, but she couldn't deny that she was more than a little intrigued. She then checked the time and realized she was going to be late for her first class of the day. "Anyway, I gotta run. Text me the address and I'll meet you guys there at 8pm."

"Sure, sounds like a plan," Ruby smiled then waved.

* * *

 

Lunch time couldn't come any sooner, and Emma found herself slumping on the bench she had sat on the other day with a bear claw and a coffee. She put in her earphones and decided to listen to some music while she went over the events of the morning.

The only highlight of her day besides seeing Ruby and Mary Margaret was possibly Dr. Gibson's outburst when one of the students referred to him as 'Professor' instead of 'Doctor'. The poor guy's face had turned a very deep shade of red when Gibson abruptly stopped mid-sentence, “ _Excuse me?_ I did not spend seven years of my life earning a PhD in Psychology to have graduate students like you call me  _Professor,_ " he almost spat.

Emma was so immersed in her thoughts and music that she didn't hear the faint click of heels coming from her left. In fact, she wouldn't have noticed Regina’s presence at all if she hadn't lightly tapped her shoulder. "Miss Swan," she greeted.

"Regi- I mean, Professor-shit, Dr. Mills."

Regina arched an eyebrow and smirked. "Dr. Mills?”

"Uh, well, you see…" Emma stammered. "Earlier today, one of my professors lectured us on why we should only refer to him as Doctor, and so I assumed you'd like to be referred to as Dr. Mills, too."

"Ah, let me guess," she lifted a finger to her chin and pretended to contemplate it. "Dr. Gibson, was it?"

Emma was surprised. "Yes, how'd you know?"

"Dr. Gibson is very proud of his education, and is perhaps the only one who truly gets irritated when not referred to properly. I, however, am not one of those people. You can call me Professor, if you'd like."

"Yes, of course. Professor Mills." Emma smiled, and her eyes, catching the sun's ray at the perfect angle, sparkled.

Regina hadn't noticed those eyes before, perhaps because she was so taken by the blonde's physique. But now, gazing at those emerald eyes, she couldn't help but drown in them.  _Drown in them?_   _Get a grip, Regina._

She cleared her throat. "Uh, Miss Swan. Perhaps you should walk with me towards class. We wouldn't want you to be late again, would we?"

"Yeah, sure," Emma confirmed, then got up and threw away her trash.

The class was coming to an end, and Emma realized that she didn't only like this class because of the very attractive woman teaching it, she genuinely enjoyed the subject. The way the professor taught didn't really feel like teaching, but more like an engaging discussion between two equal parties. And she truly loved that, she loved being treated like an equal.

Her issue with people, most of the time, was being treated like she was somehow less than them. Whether it was because she had no parents, or because she wasn't as rich or educated as them. She had come a long way since then, but there were still those select assholes that were convinced they were superior to everyone else. Not Regina, though.

After the class was dismissed, Emma lingered behind, hoping to use the membership her professor was thinking of purchasing as an excuse to stay back and talk to her.

"Yes, Miss Swan? Did you have any questions about today's class?"

"No, Professor. I actually wanted to ask you if you'd be interested in a test run if you were still hesitant about joining my club."

"A test run?" Regina's brows furrowed.

"Yeah. Basically, I give you a free session with a trainer of your choice. This way you get to meet the trainer beforehand and see his or her abilities. After that, you'd hopefully be more inclined to join."

Regina couldn't help but smile. "That would be very kind of you, thank you."

"Hey, I'm only trying to get you to join so I could steal your money," Emma joked, and Regina laughed with her.  _God, how can a laugh sound so good?_

"Well, then. I hope you're free. I want you to train me."

Emma couldn't say she didn't see it coming, but she was still a little taken aback by the brunette's statement. "You think you can afford me, Professor Mills? I'm quite expensive."

"There's still a test run to overcome, remember?" Regina smirked.

"Nah, if I'm your test run, you won't be satisfied with anyone else." At that, Regina's face flushed slightly, and she couldn't bring herself to dislike the blonde's confidence. In fact, she found that she quite enjoyed it, and that worried her.

"We'll have to see about that," Regina recovered. "I'll give you a call to schedule our session."

"I look forward to it," now it was Emma's turn to smirk. "Now, may I walk you to your car?"

"I'd like that, thank you."

Walking side by side, Emma's hand barely brushed Regina's, and they both felt a shiver moving up their arms at the brief contact. Before Emma could say anything, Regina pointed at a black Mercedes-Benz parked not too far from her own car. Looking at the black beauty, Emma realized that the car was perfect for Regina. She grinned and said, "That's a sweet ride you got there." Emma almost punched herself in the face.  _Way to go stating the obvious, idiot._

Regina smirked and nodded, "I must agree." She then looked around, searching. "Where's yours?"

Emma pointed to a car not too far for where they stood, "See that yellow one? That's my baby."

"A sports car, eh?" Regina shook her head, somewhat mocking. "You own a fitness club and a sports car—you're a straight up jock, aren't you?"

Emma couldn't help but laugh at the statement, then leaned in and smiled mischievously, "A jock, maybe. But definitely not straight." She found that her words had the desired effect on the brunette when her eyes widened and her mouth fell slightly open, and decided that this would be the ideal moment to leave.

"I'll be waiting for that call, Professor," then she turned around and swaggered her way towards her car. She couldn't confirm it but she could feel the Professor’s gaze following her, and she found herself obligated to give her a show.

* * *

 

"This place is awesome!" Emma almost shouted, struggling to be heard over the ear-piercing music.

Ruby laughed and drained another shot of tequila in an instant. "I knew you'd like it!"

Emma had never been to a bar that had dancing bartenders, and Ruby wasn't kidding when she said that the dancers were extremely attractive. Dressed in clothing the left very little to the imagination, the female bartenders strutted over the bar and danced to Jesse J's 'Bang Bang' like it was nobody's business, and Emma found herself grateful for the much needed distraction from the professor.

The fact that at least three of the dancers singled her out of the crowd and gave her a special show helped even more, and she was more than happy to take out a couple of bills from her wallet to stick into their skimpy outfits.

To her surprise, Mary Margaret was wild after having 3-4 drinks in her, and she had to pull her down from the counter at least five times after she almost tripped and broke her neck. One thing was clear: Mary wasn't much of a dancer, but Emma enjoyed seeing that side of her because she suspected that the pixie haired girl rarely ever let loose.

Several hours later, Emma was helping two very drunk ladies into a cab. She made sure she didn't have much to drink because she knew she'd be driving home. Once she got into her car, she was surprised to hear her phone ring. Looking at the screen, she couldn't recognized the number. She wondered if it was one of the dancers she met tonight. Some of them gave her their numbers, but she didn't give anyone her number…right?

"Hello?" she finally answered.

" _Miss- Emma, hello. It's Regina. I hope I didn't wake you."_

"Oh, Regina. Hey. No, not at all. I'm actually out. What's up?"

" _I was wondering if I could make that appointment now…" she trailed off, and Emma realized that the brunette was nervous. She wondered why._

"Yeah, of course. When would you like to come?" It was too late to stop herself, and Emma cursed inwardly for her choice of words.

Regina didn't seem to notice. _"Is tomorrow alright? 5pm, perhaps? I know you have classes so I'm not sure what time you finish."_

"5pm is great. I finish at three so I have enough time to go back and sort some things out."

" _Perfect. Is there anything I need to bring with me?"_

"Nope, just bring yourself."

" _I'll see you tomorrow, then. Goodnight, Emma."_

"Goodnight, Regina." Emma hung up, then closed her eyes as she leaned against her headrest.  _'Goodnight, Emma'_  echoed in her mind, and she found herself imagining a life consisting of nights that always ended with that sentence, uttered in  _her_ voice.


	4. Chapter 4

Five o'clock couldn't possibly come any sooner, and Emma found herself checking the time at least a hundred times in the past couple of hours. She arrived at her gym around 3:30, then immediately changed into her work out clothes and waited…and waited. Eventually, she realized that simply waiting might literally drive her crazy, and instead decided to warm up on the treadmill until Regina got here.

She made sure she didn't warm up to the point of sweating; she definitely didn't want to give Regina a sweaty and smelly welcome. Checking the time again, she saw that it was five to five, and told herself to wait in her office. Regina didn't need to know how anxious she was to train her.

A knock on the door and a shouted "Boss, your five o'clock is here!" alerted her to Regina's arrival, and she quickly made her way downstairs to meet the brunette. She was stunned to see that her professor was wearing her usual outfit consisting of a simple tight dress and high heels, and although it was a magnificent sight, she couldn't help but stare disbelievingly. "Uh, Regina. I hope you're not planning on working out in those clothes."

She laughed, and Emma took a moment to commit that sound to memory. "Don't be silly, Emma. I was simply waiting for you to show me to the changing rooms."

"Oh, yes, of course. Follow me." Why did Emma seem to lose her intelligence when she was around that woman?

A couple of minutes later, Emma was met by a scene that almost gave her a heart attack. Regina emerged from the changing room clad in nothing but a pair of black shorts that barely covered half of her thighs and a tight purple tank. Her hair, although quite short, was pulled into the cutest little ponytail, and Emma didn't notice she was gaping until Regina had to snap her fingers to grab her attention. "Is this okay?" she asked in a seemingly timid voice, but Emma knew better.

"Uh- yeah, totally. Perfect, actually. Which brings me to my next question…why the hell do you need a personal trainer? You look freaking incredible."

Regina wasn't expecting that, and she blushed immediately. "Well, I have to work to stay in shape," she smirked. "Isn't that right, coach?"

Emma decided she liked being called coach by Regina. In fact, she suspected she wouldn't mind being called anything, as long as it was Regina saying it. "Definitely."

She was staring again, and Regina was right there, holding her gaze, demanding her attention. "So, what are we doing first?"

Emma inhaled,  _right. Let's get down to business._ "First thing's first, I'd like to take you to our scale. It'll give us a full report regarding your body fat, muscles, BMI and fluids, amongst other things. Do you know your height?"

"Yes, I'm 5'4."

"Great. Now, would you take off your shoes and socks, and step on here." Regina did so, but didn't stand in the right position. Instinctively, Emma moved her hands to her hips to adjust her, and Regina caught herself before letting out a loud gasp at the contact.  _This is crazy_ , she thought. The blonde's hands were soft and warm even through the fabric, and Regina had to focus and refocus on something, anything, that would distract her from those hands.

Emma was oblivious and simply continued to sway the brunette's hips, trying to get her to stand correctly. She finally removed her hands and nodded, content with the outcome, then spoke. "Okay, now see those handles on the side? Grab them with each hand and place your thumb on the sensors. Yes, like that." She then stood to the side and began inserting the brunette's information. Her name, her height, her age.  _Wait a minute_ , Emma thought.  _How old was Regina?_

"Uhm…Regina?" her professor didn't notice what the blonde was stuck on, and so simply titled her head and looked at her.

"Yes?"

"How old are you? I only ask because the scale requires it. I'm gonna take a wild guess and say…30?"

Regina chuckled, then shook her head. "Thirty-two, actually. But expect extra credit on your upcoming assignment for thinking I am two years younger."

"No way!" Emma exclaimed, then whispered, "Hot damn."

"Excuse me?" Regina pretended not to hear.

Emma stuttered. "Nothing, nothing. You just look great, is all."

"Flattery will get you nowhere, Miss Swan."

"Oh yeah? I like to think that I'm simply stating a fact,  _Professor._ " Emma smirked. "And who are you to argue with simple facts?"

Regina was so stunned by the statement that she had to open her mouth and close it twice before finding her words. "Shall we continue?"

After printing the report and discussing its contents with Regina, Emma was able to determine what they needed to work on. In reality, Regina's results were almost perfect. Her body fat percentage was low, her muscle mass could've been higher, but it was still impressive, and her fluid and mineral levels were in the normal range. The brunette explained that she wasn't really interested in building muscles, but she did want to have a better toned body.

"Boxing," Emma finally concluded. "If you just want to tone your body and not have to worry about lifting weights or doing cardio, Boxing is the best choice."

To say that Regina was skeptical would have been an understatement. She knew little to nothing about the sport and was never really a fan of it. She found it too violent, and she could never understand men's desire to get into the ring and almost get beaten to death.

Emma sensed Regina's concern and patted her shoulder. "Don't worry, you won't have to fight against anyone or anything. You'll either be punching hand matts or heavy bags, but never a person. Not unless you want to, that is."

The brunette laughed, and relaxed at her trainer's playfulness. "I guess I'll just have to take your word for it, won’t I?"

"I'm afraid so," Emma admitted, then smirked. "Plus, you're extremely lucky."

"Oh, is that so?" Regina raised an eyebrow.

"Yup," raising a finger and pointing to herself. "This right here is the best Boxing trainer in Boston."

Emma suggested Regina should warm up for ten minutes or so on the treadmill. With all her previous clients, Emma would leave them and come back for them later; it wasn't really necessary for her to watch them as they warmed up. But with Regina, she couldn't keep her out of her sight, so instead, Emma stood to the side of the treadmill and tried her best not to look like a creep as she watched.

During those ten short minutes the two women talked, and they both quickly realized how easy it was for them. Neither felt the need to think of a topic to discuss; the words effortlessly exchanged between the two and they both enjoyed the other's company.

Emma learnt that Regina never really committed to a fitness club before, and instead preferred doing her exercise on her own. She couldn't help feel a little proud, knowing that Regina was actually considering becoming a member of her gym, and found herself determined to show what the brunette would be missing if she decided against it.

A couple of minutes later, Emma was leading Regina downstairs where the boxing ring and other boxing equipment were. She thanked her lucky stars that the place wasn't as crowded as it usually was, and found herself vibrating with anticipation at being almost alone with the older woman.

She walked over to the trunk containing boxing gloves and held out a pair for Regina to take. She then took out boxing tapes and began wrapping each of Regina’s hands. “It’s always important to have this on before wearing gloves,” she explained. "Are they too tight?" she asked.

Emma, once again, was oblivious to the effect her touch had on the professor, and so didn't notice the hitch in her voice when she answered, "No, they're good."

"I think maybe it would be a good idea to give you a little demonstration," and with that, Emma put on her gloves and walked over to the closest punching bag.

Her posture quickly changed, no longer relaxed. She spread her legs apart, her left leg ahead of her right. She lightly jabbed the bag with her left, but when she made to punch with her right, her entire body moved with her, and Regina couldn't help but watch in awe. Emma's hips and torso turned with her as she punched, her right foot slightly lifting from the ground. The muscles of her exposed shoulder blades rippled in sync with her movement, and upon impact with the bag, her biceps flexed as well.

Regina suddenly felt awfully hot.

Emma finally stepped back and turned around to face an extremely flustered brunette. She smirked. "You think you could give that a try?"

"Oh, I…I suppose I could," she finally let out. She tried, to the best of her ability, to imitate her trainer's stance. She had the distinct feeling, however, that she was failing.

Emma tried to stifle her laughter, not wanting to embarrass the older woman. But she looked beyond adorable with her legs slightly separated and her face scrunched in concentration. She took off her gloves and slowly made her way towards her.

Kneeling down, Emma slid her hand down Regina's calf and wrapped it around her right ankle, then pulled it back further.

The professor gasped, "What-"

"You need to open your legs a little more, there." She then stood up and placed her hands on Regina's hips and turned them. "Don't face the bag directly, lean in on your left foot and have your left arm a little out. Yes," she confirmed. "Now do a triple jab, left-right-left."

Regina nodded and obeyed, but the bag barely moved. It looked much easier when Emma did it two minutes ago.

Emma moved behind Regina and placed her hands on her right shoulder. "The key is to use your entire body when you punch. Don't just think of your arm or fist when you do it. Imagine everything moving with you as you punch. Your hips," Emma's hands slid once again to her hips, and it took all of Regina's power to focus on her words, not her hands. "Your upper body," hands making their journey up now. "And your shoulders."

Regina didn't realize how close Emma was until her breath tickled her neck, and couldn't control the shudder that escaped. Emma detected it and stepped back. Perhaps she was taking this 'hands-on' training a little too far, and she feared she was making the older woman uncomfortable.

"Try again," she finally said. "Left-right-left."

Regina snapped out of her haze and did as she was told. This time, remembering her coach's instructions and moving her whole body with the punch. The bag actually moved, and she couldn't help the smile that crept up to her lips.

Emma smiled and lightly clapped. "Much better."

"I had a great teacher," Regina laughed, then gave the bag another go.

* * *

 

An hour later, Emma was guiding Regina to the showering stalls. Upon arriving, however, she realized that all of them were occupied. She took a breath and debated whether or not she should say what was on her mind. A minute later, she made a decision.

"Would you like to use the bathroom in my office?" she asked, tentatively.

Regina remained silent for a couple of moments, and Emma regretted suggesting it at all.

"You wouldn't mind?" Regina finally asked.

"No, not at all. Follow me."

Going up the stairs to Emma's office, Regina was suddenly feeling quite nervous, and debated just leaving and showering when she got home. Pulling out her key, Emma unlocked the door and stepped aside to allow the brunette in. She knew her office wasn't much, but it was tidy and clean.

Regina, on the other hand, expected to see a chaotic room. She couldn't decide why, but she didn't think the blonde was the tidy type. She was therefore pleasantly surprised to see a quint but nice office, with a large desk on her left, and two large black leather sofas in the center of the room.

"The bathroom is through there," Emma pointed at a door ahead, and slid her hand to Regina's lower back to lead her to it.

Regina decided that Emma's hands could very well be the end of her.

"There's shampoo and shower gel inside. I'll just get you fresh towels from downstairs."

"Oh, that's quite alright, Emma," Regina breathed. "I like to use my own towels."

"Okay, I'll wait here then. Just let me know if you need anything."

* * *

 

"Uh…Emma?" Regina called fifteen minutes later.

She went closer to the door to hear her better. "Yeah?"

"Would you come in, please? The door is unlocked."

Emma's heart started racing, and it took her motor neurons a moment to function before she finally turned the handle and walked in.

She was greeted with a genuine smile, "Do you mind helping me with the zipper?" She then turned around, giving the blonde a glimpse of her exposed back. The open zipper stopped right above Regina's underwear, and Emma couldn't help but note the lack of a bra.

She bit her lip, trying so hard to get her breathing under control. How can this woman be so damn sexy without even trying?

Snapping out of it, Emma stepped closer and started zipping the dress, purposefully letting her fingers trace the older woman's back as she went up.

Regina shivered then turned around, her eyes a shade darker than usual. "Thank you."

Emma's eyes instinctively dropped to her lips—they just looked so soft and inviting. She leaned in.

"Boss!" Neal's voice traveled into the bathroom, effectively making both woman jump and wince at the intrusion.

Emma sighed before answering, "Yes, Neal?"

"You got another client waiting for you."

She looked back at Regina apologetically, and Regina gave her a polite smile. "It's alright, go. I must leave, too."

"How do you feel?" Emma asked.

"Excuse me?"

"After the workout, how do you feel?" she clarified.

"Yes, of course. The workout. I feel great, actually. Quite refreshed."

"That's what I like to hear," Emma grinned. "So is it safe to say that you've made a decision about joining us?"

"Well, you have made it somewhat impossible to refuse," the brunette chuckled, then said, "I'd love to join."

"That's awesome! I'll tell Neal to take care of you. Welcome to Swan's Fitness."

* * *

 

Driving home, Regina couldn't stop thinking about Emma Swan. Her hands, her body, her hair, her eyes. It was ridiculous. She's never met anyone that had such an effect on her, and she was more than a little sure that it wasn't simply physical. Perhaps it wasn't a good idea to go to that gym after all. It was highly unprofessional, and she should've given it more thought. But it's not like they've done anything wrong.  _Not yet, at least._ That moment, earlier in the bathroom, Emma wasn't actually leaning in to kiss her…right?  _Of course she wasn't_.

Or was she?


	5. Chapter 5

Regina's head slammed against the bed's headboard, but pain was the last thing on her mind. Her entire body was bursting with pleasure, and wherever the blonde touched, her skin threatened to burst into flames. Emma was on top of her, pinning her arms above her head with one hand while the other made an excruciatingly slow journey down. First from her lips, down her neck, over a slope and down her stomach. Then the hand stopped. 

 _Emma_ , she moaned. Why did the blonde stop there? Her hand was so close to the place she desired her most, but she simply refused to go further. Her back arched upwards into the younger woman's hand, willing her to continue but the hand simply wouldn't budge.  _Emma_ , she called again, even more desperate this time, but the sound was swallowed by a soft, passionate kiss. She moaned again.

Then she woke up.

Her body drenched in sweat didn't mask the wetness between her legs, and Regina found herself more aroused than she had been in a very long time. Deciding that the only way she could go back to sleep was if she released some tension, she slowly slid her hand into her already dripping lace panties and summoned the image of a very athletic looking blonde.  _Emma._

* * *

 

Emma woke up with a start, and looking at the time, realized that she was going to be late. Neglecting breakfast in hopes of getting to class on time, she brushed her teeth, threw on a Metallica t-shirt and jeans, and rushed to her car.

She was five minutes late, but seeing as it was finally Friday, she was determined not to let anything bring her down—not even a pop quiz in her third class. Lunch time finally came, and she sat in her usual spot, a book in hand, and waited for her Neuroscience professor to make an appearance. Regina always took this route 10 minutes before class, and Emma was hoping she could get some alone time with her. This time, though, the brunette was 15 minutes early.

"Professor Mills," Emma smiled. "You're early."

Regina pretended to look at her watch. "Oh, am I? I always start making my way towards class now."

Emma wasn't buying it. "Actually, you usually come 10 minutes early. Today it's 15."

Regina simply looked at her, not wanting to reveal anything.

"Would you like to sit down?" she finally asked.

"I suppose I have some time," Regina released nonchalantly. "What are you reading?"

"Poetry," she held out her book, exposing the cover. "Edgar Allan Poe is one of my favorites."

Regina was surprised. She knew that most people found Poe quite dark, and as such, were not fans of his poetry or stories. "Mine, too," she admitted.

"Oh, yeah? That's pretty cool. I know that not a lot of people like him."

"Show me your favorite poem," Regina half asked, half ordered.

Emma quickly opened her book to a page she had already memorized, and pointed. "I love most of his poems, but I think Annabel Lee is my favorite."

Regina smiled and nodded. "' _And neither the angels in heaven above, nor the demons down under sea, can ever dissever my soul from the soul of the beautiful Annabel Lee.'"_

Emma's eyes widened, but she swiftly recovered to recite, "' _For the moon never beams, without bringing me dreams of the beautiful Annabel Lee; and the stars never rise, but I feel the bright eyes of the beautiful Annabel Lee.'"_

"You've memorized it?" Regina asked, astounded.

"I was going to ask you the same thing," Emma countered, then laughed.

"What is so funny?" Regina missed the joke.

Emma looked directly into her eyes, and whispered. "I was just wondering if you had any idea how…flawless you are."

Regina was definitely not expecting that; frankly, every time she was around the blonde, she seemed to be drowning in a sea of the unexpected. She wasn't sure if she liked it or not. A deep blush colored her cheeks, and she figured that the best way to hide it was to abruptly stand up and turn around. "Perhaps it's time to go to class."

Emma didn't know if she should apologize or not. She knew she was taking this flirting game way too far, but being so close to the older woman only fueled her desire. Getting up, she decided to remain quiet and simply follow her professor to class.

* * *

 

The next fifty minutes were torture for Regina. She spent most of her time trying not to look at the blonde but instead found herself glancing her way more often than not. The fact that she had a dream featuring the same woman earlier this morning simply did not help her situation, nor did the fact that the younger woman seemed to be staring at her as well.  _She's not staring_ ,  _Regina._   _She's just paying attention to her professor._

By the end of class, Regina was, in all aspects, hot and bothered. She couldn't stop imagining her student on top of her, under her, doing all sorts of things to her. This tension, she decided, was unbearable, and made the decision to go home immediately and take care of it.

"Professor Mills."

Regina looked up from her desk, and was both irritated and pleased to see her. "Miss Swan."

"Are you okay?" She asked, concerned. "You seemed a little off today."

"Did I? I'm quite fine, dear."

"Maybe you're a little sore from yesterday's workout. If you are, I have a couple of things in mind that might be helpful."

"I'm not sore, dear." She smiled politely, then got an idea and smirked. "But I'm glad you brought it up. Do you give sessions on the weekend?"

"I don't," Emma said, but quickly corrected. "But I can definitely make an exception."

"Are you sure, dear? I don't want to take up your weekend. If you're busy…"

"Really, Professor. I insist."  _You can take up my weekend any time you want._

"Very well, then. I'll see you tomorrow, 5pm?"

"I'll see you then."

Was Emma really giving up her weekend for this woman?  _I have it bad_ , she sighed.

* * *

 

Emma decided to call Ruby and Mary Margaret; she wanted to go to that place with the dancing bartenders again because she could definitely use a distraction. Possibly in the form of a drink, or something more substantial, a dancer.

The three dancers that hit on her the other night remembered her easily, and all but ran to her when she entered the bar.

"Seriously?" Ruby rolled her eyes. "I've been coming here for months and I've never gotten this welcome before."

Emma was about to respond, but Mary Margaret beat her to it. "Yeah, but you're not Emma," she giggled.

Emma couldn't help but laugh. "Took the words right out of my mouth, MM."

They made their way towards a table in the center and sat on the stools. Soon after, one of the dancers walked over to Emma and not-too-subtly placed her hand on her bicep. She squeezed before asking, "What can I get you ladies?" Ruby shook her head at the scene before her, but still found it amusing. The waitress said 'ladies', but really she was just looking at Emma.

"A beer for me, please," Emma smirked, the dancer's hand still stroking her arm.

"A strawberry margarita for me," Mary said.

"Metropolitan over here," Ruby pointed, and rolled her eyes again when the girl only nodded and smiled flirtatiously towards Emma. "You know she wants to fuck you, right?"

Emma gasped, feigning surprise, "Who? Her? Nah, she's just being nice."

Ruby swatted her arm playfully. "Shut up, will you? Don't act so coy."

"I'm not!" Emma defended. "I'm just not sure she's that into me."

A minute later, the dancing bartender returned with their drinks, and then, before sauntering away, leaned closer to the blonde's ear and whispered, "I’m on break in 10 minutes. Meet me in the bathroom?" Emma smirked and nodded, and couldn't help but shiver in excitement when the dancer gave her cheek a peck.

Ruby's eyes were hurting from rolling so much. "What did I just say? She asked you to meet her later didn't she?"

Emma only grinned. "Maybe."

* * *

 

Ten minutes later, Emma was pushing a very eager dancer up against the wall in the bathroom. The girl was, Emma couldn't deny, attractive. She had long brown hair, green eyes, and a killer body. She wore a white button up shirt that was straining to open at her chest, and her short black skirt left little to the imagination.

Emma grabbed the girl's wrists and pinned them above her head with her left hand, and used her right hand to skillfully unbutton her shirt. She deftly placed her knee between the girl's thighs, causing her to moan in response and spread her legs further.

Their lips were devouring each other. There was nothing sweet about it; it was rough and urgent and lustful, but Emma kept going. The girl was grinding on Emma's thigh now, and Emma could feel how wet, how ready, she was. Hearing her groan "so close, I'm so close" informed Emma that she didn't really need to use her fingers—her thigh would be enough. The dancer's screams soon followed, and Emma brought her lips down to swallow them. She didn't want anyone barging in on them and interrupting her distraction.

Emma removed her thigh and released the girl's wrists, which quickly moved to Emma's jeans and began to unbutton them. She didn't notice the intrusion until the dancer's fingers were sliding into her briefs. She closed her eyes, trying to savor the feel of those fingers inside of her. She was more than shocked, however, when an image of Regina made its way to her consciousness. She squeezed her eyes tighter, willing the image to dissipate, but failed.

She sighed, then moved her hand to clasp around the girl's wrist to still her movements. She was more than a little confused, and slightly disappointed at the interruption.

"I'm sorry," Emma muttered. "I have to go."

"But I didn't even get you off yet," the girl pouted.

Emma smiled, and realized how young she looked. "Maybe next time," but Emma knew there wouldn't be one.

* * *

 

"What happened?" Ruby asked, frowning.

"Nothing. I fucked her."

"But she didn't fuck you?" Ruby pressed. Her friend didn't look like someone should after getting laid.

"I didn't let her."

"Why the hell not? Did you find out she had an STD or something?" Ruby joked.

Emma remained quiet, trying to avoid the conversation altogether.

The redhead gasped, "Oh, my God! She did?"

"No, no." Emma finally said. "I just- there's this woman…and I can't seem to get her out of my head."

* * *

 

The following day went by in a blur, and before she knew it, it was 5pm and Regina was waiting for her in the lounge, this time dressed and ready. Emma led her to the treadmills again and told her to warm up, but to the brunette's surprise, didn't stay with her to chat. Regina could tell there was something odd about the younger woman, but didn't want to pry.

Their session went on normally, although Regina did notice that, every time Emma made to touch her, she would hesitate then move her hand away. Regina didn't like that at all. She didn't like how Emma kept trying to avoid her gaze, either, and thus felt the need to voice her concerns. "Emma."

Emma stopped mid-kick, dropped her leg and turned around. "Yeah?"

"Are you well?" Regina approached her, her palm reaching out to cup Emma's arm.

Emma shifted, but didn't try to move the brunette's hand. "Yeah, I'm fine. Why, don't I look it?"

"It's just…well, you've been somewhat…quiet."

"I just thought we should focus on training, that's all."

Regina didn't like how the younger woman was acting, but decided to let it go for now. "Of course."

* * *

 

After taking a shower and changing, Regina found herself making her way towards Emma's office. She knocked, then waited.

"Come in," the blonde called.

"Emma, I hope you're not busy."

Emma's head shot up, her eyes widening upon hearing her voice. "Regina. No, please, come in." She motioned for the professor to sit on the couch.

"I was wondering if you'd like to go to dinner."

"What?"  _Was Regina asking her out on a date?_

"Well, I'm quite starved after that workout. And I'm pretty sure you're hungry too. So, would you like to go eat together somewhere?"

"Uh…" Emma wasn't quite sure what to say.

Regina was suddenly nervous. What in God's name was she doing? This was her student. And she was asking her out to dinner.  _Damn it_ , she cursed.  _Was it too late to withdraw the invitation?_

Her student, fortunately, seemed to find her words, and with it, her confidence. "I'd love to," she smirked. "Are you up for Italian? I know a place that has the best pasta in town."

"That sounds lovely. Though, I must ask a favor."

"Anything," she breathed.

"I don't have my car with me at the moment, so would it be too much trouble if we just took your car?"

"Not at all," the blonde answered. "I was actually going to suggest taking one car anyway. Getting to the restaurant can be a little tricky."

* * *

 

"I have to admit," Regina began, her fingertips tracing the black leather inside Emma's car. "I usually abhor sports cars, but yours has a certain charm to it."

Emma couldn't hide the proud smile that rose to her lips. God, she loved this car. "Doesn't it?" She confirmed. "I started saving up for it right after I bought the gym."

"I've been meaning to ask about that, actually," Regina confessed. "How did it all happen?"

"That's a really long story," Emma chuckled.

"I have time."

"Maybe after we get settled in, we're here."

Regina squinted, trying to get a glimpse of the restaurant through Emma's tinted windows. From the outside, the place looked plain and unimpressive, but upon entering, Regina was startled to see a fancy and well-decorated establishment. Round tables draped with red cloths, and although the place was somewhat dim lit, meritoriously creating a romantic atmosphere, there were several chandeliers hanging overhead. The restaurant was full, and Regina didn't know how long they'd have to wait for a table.

The host greeted Emma like they were old friends. "Emma!" A pretty girl with light brown hair hugged her. "It's been a while, where have you been?"

"Hey, Aurora. School and work," she smiled, then looked around. "Is the table ready?"

"Yeah!" Regina found the girl a little too excited, and didn't appreciate how friendly she was with her student. "Your table is like, permanently reserved for you. No one's allowed to sit there."

A moment later, Regina sat facing the blonde on a small table for two, and she felt grateful that it was away from the crowd, in its own private corner. Before Regina could speak, a waitress all but ran towards them and squeaked. "Oh, my God! Emma! It's been so long!"

Emma laughed, "Hey, Keira. How have you been?"

"Good, good. Who's this?" She turned her head towards Regina and smiled.

Emma faltered. Does she introduce her as her professor? Her client? Her friend? She settled on none, and finally said, "This is Regina. Regina, this is Keira, an old friend of mine."

Keira giggled and winked, "Don't forget the benefits."

Emma blushed and frantically looked at the waitress then at Regina. Regina, for the most part, only raised an eyebrow and smirked, but she was feeling something entirely different on the inside.

The waitress smiled, oblivious to the blonde's discomfort. "So, can I get you ladies anything to drink?"

"Sparkling water for me, please," Regina nodded politely.

"Plain ice water for me, Keira, thanks."

"Sure, coming right up."

Emma noticed Regina's gaze, and chose to avoid it by burying her face in the menu.

"You're quite popular, aren't you?" Regina more stated than asked, quirking an eyebrow.

"I guess so. I know the owner of this place, so I get, you may say, certain benefits."

"That includes benefits with the waitresses?" Regina was trying to mask her irritation with mock amusement, but the blonde caught on.

She smirked, "I guess you could say that too." Emma didn't want to be overconfident, but she was pretty sure that Regina was, even if just a little, jealous.

Regina Mills did not get jealous. Especially not over a woman she had barely known for a week. Especially not over a student. So, logically, she was not jealous. She was simply uncomfortable with the inappropriate exchange between the two women.

Emma thought it best to change the subject. "See anything you like?"

“Excuse me?” Regina blurted.

Emma couldn’t help but chuckle at the older woman’s surprised reaction. “I meant on the menu.”

"Ah yes, of course,” she stuttered. _Idiot, what else could she have meant?_ “Their Spinach Ravioli sounds delicious."

"It is."

Keira was back with the drinks, and Regina had to stop herself from rolling her eyes when the waitress's hand lingered too long on Emma's.

"I think we're ready to order," she announced. "One Spinach Ravioli, please."

"I'll have the same," Emma grinned and nodded.

"So…" Emma started.

"So."

"You wanted to know the story behind the gym?"

"Yes, yes. Tell me everything."

"Well…"

They talked for what seemed like hours. Emma told Regina everything there was to know about the gym; how she started off as a personal trainer to pay her way through college and quickly gained recognition. People started coming to that gym just for her, so much so that the owner's profits were all thanks to her. The owner, she had explained, had been a great trainer and manager, but upon losing his wife, lost interest in life and drank and gambled his money away. By the end of it all, the gym's value had fallen so low that Emma was able to buy it off. She then used all of her savings to renovate and remodel. It was definitely a gamble, but it was a risk Emma was willing to take.

"So, why a Master's in Counseling? In fact, why go to grad school at all?" Regina had to ask. "I mean, it seems you have a promising career in personal training, and your Fitness Club is quite famous."

"It's true," Emma admitted. "I love what I do. But I also want to do something for the community." She hesitated, not sure if she should go on or not.  _Screw it._  "I was in the system ever since I could remember, and the homes we were in…well, they're definitely not as good as they should be. And we never had people that cared enough to talk to; we were never really heard." She took a deep breath, then sighed. "I want to change that. I want to improve the system as much as I can. Everyone deserves to have a good childhood, even if they don't have parents."

Emma hated talking about it, but she somehow felt comfortable telling Regina. To her surprise, Regina didn't have a look of pity or sympathy in her eyes, she had something else completely. Pride? Even if it was, Emma wouldn’t know what that looked like anyway.

Regina smiled genuinely, and Emma's heart warmed at the sight of it. "That's wonderful, Emma. Your parents would've been very proud."

"I don't think so," Emma said bitterly. "They wouldn't have given me up if they actually cared."

Regina's hand reached over and placed it over Emma's. She didn't want to press her, or make her feel awkward. She settled instead on comforting her by holding her hand over the table and stroking her palm with her thumb.

Emma relished the feel of Regina's hand in hers, and swore she would never forget the warmth it emanated. "Shall we go?"

"Yes, it's getting quite late," the brunette nodded. "I'll call a cab."

"Don't be silly. I'm taking you home."

"Are you-"

"Yes, I'm sure. Please, I insist."

* * *

 

Emma could tell the professor was rich by the way she dressed, but the mansion before her was still astonishing. It looked far too large for one person, and she found herself wondering if the older woman ever felt lonely.

She parked her car and quickly got out, and before Regina could ask what she was doing, Emma was opening her door for her. "Well, aren't you the perfect gentleman," she let out with a smile.

"I try," Emma smirked, and held her hand out for Regina to take.

"Would you like to come in?" _Wait, did she say that out loud?_

 _Wait, what?_ Emma was definitely not expecting that.

"My apple cider is to die for," she explained. "You really must try it."

Emma nodded.  _Where was this going?_ "Lead the way."

As Regina unlocked the door, Emma couldn't contain the gasp. The house was magnificent, and it was so… _Regina._ High ceilings, chandeliers and dark wooden floors. She was led to the living room, and Emma found that, despite preferring modern interiors, she quite liked Regina's classical taste. The blend of charred maroon leather and ivory atop Persian carpets was glorious, and the fireplace to the left only added to the grandness of it all.

Regina instructed Emma to sit, then turned around and, making sure she had Emma's attention, swayed her hips as she walked over to the apple cider to pour two glasses. Emma almost groaned at the sight—this woman was driving her crazy.

Handing the glass over, their fingers brushed and, as unrealistic as it sounded, Emma could've sworn that sparks flew. Regina's touch lingered and her lips parted, but she immediately snapped out of it and made her way towards her seat.

Emma was never really a fan of apple cider, but upon tasting it, she realized she was definitely a fan now. "This is delicious, Regina!" She announced. "You made this?"

"Thank you. Yes, I did. I have an apple tree in the back, so all the magic is made here."

"You're incredible," Emma stated, her gaze holding the brunette's.

"Emma…" Regina trailed. She didn't quite know what to say.

Emma placed the glass on the table next to her and got up, slowly making her way towards Regina.

Regina shifted in her chair, crossing and uncrossing her legs. This tension was getting out of hand. "Emma," she said again, this time sounding a little like a warning.

Emma didn't stop, and as she reached her, she took her glass and pulled her up. They were inches apart now—Emma's hands traveling up and down Regina's arms, their breaths intermingling thanks to their proximity.

" _Regina."_  And they were kissing. A deep, slow, passionate kiss that seemed to last forever and not long enough all at once.

Regina moaned, the sound of her name on the blonde's lips making her heart flutter like a desperate teenager. And the kiss, God, it was so much better than her dream. Her arms instinctively wrapped around her neck while Emma's moved to wrap around her waist and pull her closer.

They deepened the kiss, Emma's teeth catching Regina's bottom lip and biting down, tugging on it playfully. Her tongue then slid out to soothe it, and Regina parted her lips further, inviting Emma in. The blonde groaned and accepted the invitation, her tongue exploring every inch of her Professor's warm mouth.

Emma's hands slid further down, finally cupping the ass that always looked so appealing under those dresses and skirts. Regina moaned her approval and pressed herself harder against her student.

It was at that moment that Emma's phone rang, and she groaned her disapproval at the interruption. She was going to ignore it, but the ringing was incessant. She broke the kiss, panting, and mumbled "Give me a second."

"Hello?"

" _Boss! I'm so sorry to call you this late…"_

"It's okay, Neal. What up?"

" _Well, my car broke down and I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere and-"_

She sighed. This guy really knew how to ruin a moment, didn't he? "I'll be right there."

She turned to Regina to explain, but Regina nodded understandingly and smiled. "It's alright. Go."

Emma leaned in and made to give her a quick peck, but instead found herself kissing her in earnest. Regina chuckled and gently pushed her away. "Go," she said again. "We'll talk later."

Emma really hoped so, because she knew that, until the next time they met, the only thing on her mind would be that kiss. And those lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? :)


	6. Chapter 6

Neal really wasn't kidding when he said his car broke down in the middle of nowhere, because it took Emma a little over 2 hours to find him. To say the trip there was torture would have been a gross understatement: spending two hours alone in her car after making out with her exceptionally hot professor and not being able to do anything about it was driving Emma crazy. It didn't help that her thoughts were occupied with less than appropriate images of said professor either, because she kept missing signs and exits she otherwise had to pay attention to.

That night, when she got home, Emma spent several moments debating whether she should text the brunette or not. Would it seem too clingy? Desperate? Would she seem rude if she  _didn't_  text her? She was so focused on her own thoughts that she almost didn't notice her phone screen flashing with an incoming text.

She picked up only to realize that the sender was Regina, and she couldn't stop her heart from racing as she clicked to open the message.

' _Emma,_

_I hope whatever interrupted our…encounter was worth the interruption._

_Sweet dreams.'_

Emma decided Regina was probably going to be her cause of death.

* * *

 

The morning after, Emma found another text letting her know that Regina was busy today, and that they'd have to postpone their "talk" to Monday. Emma was torn between feeling relieved and even more anxious, but was nonetheless glad to have a day for herself. She had several assignments due the following day and she was somewhat behind.

Thankfully, her work took less time than expected and she opted to make plans with Ruby and Mary Margaret.

"Hey, Rubes. What's up?"

" _Rubes? Since when?"_  Ruby inquired, giggling.

"Since now. What, don't like it?" Emma teased.

" _No, no. I like it,"_  Ruby smiled even though Emma couldn't see her.  _"I'm just chilling with Mary Margaret. Well, she's studying; I'm chilling."_

"Shouldn't you be studying too, smartass?"

" _No, because I_ am _a smartass. It's my last semester here and I'm at top of my class, thank you very much,"_  she sassed.

"Oh." Emma was certainly not expecting that.

"' _Oh', indeed."_

"Didn’t know that," Emma grinned. "Anyway, I didn't call to lecture you. I'm bored, let's hang out."

" _Shouldn't you be studying?"_

"I'm done," Emma countered. "So, yes? But we should probably avoid that bar for now."

Ruby couldn't help laughing.  _"Are we, like, banished from there now? 'Cuz you didn't let that girl fuck you?"_

"No, we're not 'banished'," Emma suddenly felt uncomfortable. "It's just…I just think I should stay away for now. At least for a couple of days."

" _Sure, no problem. Got somewhere in mind?"_

"You two want to come over? I'm in the mood for pizza but I'd rather just order in. Plus, I have a very comfy sofa and an awesome flat screen."

" _A comfy sofa, huh?"_  Ruby laughed again, remembering their very first conversation.  _"You're not gonna analyze me, are you?"_

Emma grinned. "Never."

* * *

 

"Oh. My. God." Mary Margaret squealed. "You live here?!"

Emma chuckled, feeling more than a little pleased with her reaction. "Yes, yes I do. Welcome to my loft, ladies."

"Dude, this place is so cool it hurts," Ruby let out as she walked around and explored.

The loft was perhaps Emma's third most valued possession- the first being her Camaro, the second her fitness club.

Ruby didn't really know what to expect, but she certainly was not expecting this: black pillars springing up seemed to be randomly situated around the place, but they definitely added to the luxurious décor of the loft. The kitchen was left to the door, consisting of black and silver counters and appliances. Up ahead was a baby grand piano with floor-to-ceiling glass doors behind it leading to a balcony that offered a breathtaking view of the city, and to the right were black leather couches surrounding glass tables and a ridiculously large flat screen TV. The staircase to the side, Ruby noticed, didn't have a handle, but instead comprised of black wooden panels that were nailed to the wall itself, leading up to what she assumed would be Emma's bedroom.

"You got a thing for black and white, don't you?" Ruby teased. If it were up to her, she wouldn't have minded adding a little red to the place, but she still liked it.

"They're my colors," the blonde simply stated.

Mary Margaret walked over to the piano and traced the exposed keys. "Emma, you play the piano?"

"No, MM. The woman just has it there 'cus it looks good with the décor," Ruby replied, rolling her eyes.

"That's exactly why," Emma tried to say with a straight face, but failed as she saw Ruby's jaw slacken. "I'm just kidding! Yeah, I can play."

"Play us some-"

"I haven't played in a while," Emma quickly interjected. The memory of the last time she played flooded in before she could do anything about it, and she winced. "I'd rather not make a fool out of myself."

Ruby sensed Emma's change in demeanor, and decided to let it go for now. "Okay. Pizza time?"

Everyone agreed. "Pizza time."

* * *

 

Monday couldn't have come any sooner, and Emma was fighting –and failing- to concentrate in her classes. The entire day was a very slow, agonizing build up to Regina's class, and she was so anxious that she opted to wait in the lecture hall rather than the bench she normally sat on.

As though on cue, Regina walked in 10 minutes early and was too busy rummaging through papers to notice the blonde sitting in her usual seat.

Emma cleared her throat, effectively startling her professor and causing the papers to drop. She swiftly left her seat and knelt down in front of Regina, gathering the stacks of paper that had haphazardly scattered around her.

"I'm sorry about that," Emma mumbled. "I didn't mean to surprise you."

"It's quite alright, dear," Regina gave her a beautiful smile. "I've been more than a little clumsy today."

Emma stood up, but before she handed over the pile, she glanced over at the brunette. She was wearing a black sleeveless dress with a beige stripe that went down each side. Emma assumed that such a simple fitted dress would have looked ordinary on anyone else, but on this woman, it looked anything but. The simple black heels only accentuated the woman's curves more, so Emma felt an obligation to stare.

Regina noticed the younger woman's lingering gaze and smirked; she knew the dress would elicit this exact reaction. Now, it was her turn to clear her throat. "See something you like, Miss Swan?"

Emma hadn't missed the brunette's voice dropping an octave as she said that statement, and she returned the smirk. "Oh, you have  _no idea._ "

This caused the professor to blush deeply, and she hurriedly took the papers from her student and made her way towards the desk. She was about to respond, but students started filing into the room and she didn't want to risk being overheard.

"Settle down, everyone," she called instead. "Please, take your seats. We're about to begin." She then moved her gaze towards the blonde, silently telling her to do the same.

"Now," she began after making sure that at least most of her students were present. "Can someone tell me what today's lecture is about?"

Emma unconsciously raised her hand, then lowered it, not wanting to seem overly eager to both her professor and her classmates.

Regina noticed, and smirked. "Emma, you seem hesitant. Why don't you tell me what you think?"

Emma shook her head but grinned nonetheless at her professor's challenge. "Neuroplasticity."

"Excellent, and what does that refer to?" Some students raised their hands to answer, but Regina was still directing her question towards the blonde.

"Uh…" Emma faltered, then quickly recovered. "Would you like the simple answer or the complicated one, professor?"

Regina chuckled, "Tell me both."

"Well, the simple response is that it refers to the brain's plastic nature, in which it can alter and grow throughout a person's life."

"Good," Regina nodded. "And the complex answer?"

"Neuroplasticity is an umbrella term that encompasses both synaptic plasticity and non-synaptic plasticity—it refers to changes in neural pathways and synapses due to changes in behavior, environment, neural processes, thinking, emotions, as well as changes resulting from bodily injury."

Regina smirked again, arching an eyebrow. "Well, well, Miss Swan. That was quite impressive, well done."

It took the blonde every ounce of her self-control not to jump her professor right then and there and kiss that tantalizingly sexy smirk off her face. "I try," she finally mumbled, grinning.

The two had become so engrossed with each other that they didn't notice how most of the class were staring quizzically at them now, wondering why the exchange between the two seemed so intense.

If they only knew.

The professor finally tore her eyes away from emerald ones and looked up; she noticed the stares, but decided to redirect them to her by asking another question. "And why is neuroplasticity important?"

No one raised their hand, although several were fumbling through their textbooks trying to find an answer. Regina wasn't pleased. "Did I not ask you all to read chapter 2 last time?" she asked, sternly.

Everyone looked a little petrified by their professor's sudden change of mood- except for Emma, of course.

Raising a hand, Emma didn't wait for permission to speak. "Research into Neuroplasticity has incredible implications for all aspects of personal development, behavior change, skill acquisition, interpersonal relations, and overall well-being." She paused, waiting to see if anyone else wanted to chip in. No one did. "Basically, Neuroplasticity can be the key to advancing yourself in every way, be it psychologically or socially."

Regina's face remained passive, but Emma noticed the sides of her mouth quirk up a little. "That is correct, Miss Swan." Once again, she shifted her attention towards the rest of the class. "Please recall what I said the very first time I met all of you; I am fair, yes, but I like to see my students working hard. Thus, when I ask you to read something, I expect you to do so. While I appreciate Miss Swan answering, I am a professor teaching a class of 19, not a class of 1."

Emma didn't turn around because she knew she was getting death glares from most, if not all, of her classmates. She couldn't care less.

The professor made her way to the black board and picked up the chalk. "In his book,  _Rewire Your Brain_ , Dr. John Arden devised a simple formula that could help use neuroplasticity to one's advantage, aiding him or her in changing their behavior. The formula consisted of the acronym 'FEED', which entailed the following." Regina began to write.

"F for Focus.

E for Effort.

E for Effortless.

D for Determination."

She then put down the chalk and sauntered to the center of the lecture hall. "Attention galvanizes your brain, thus, if you seek to alter a behavior, you must focus very carefully on it. Of course, that's easier said than done, but true nonetheless."

Someone in the far corner raised a hand, and Regina smiled, almost certain of his question. "Let me guess, you're wondering how Effort and Effortless could coexist in that acronym?" The student nodded. "Well, Effort requires one to take deliberate, precise action to program the new behavior. I'm sure everyone knows the popular saying, 'practice makes perfect'? That's what Effort is all about. You must practice over and over again in order to successfully alter or create your behavior."

"Once you do that, and the neural network becomes wired, actions that once needed effort become effortless. Think of anything that required a huge deal of effort when you first began doing it, and how, months or years later, the activity became effortless. Perhaps like driving a car."

"Finally, Determination. The word says it all, really. It is not enough to simply focus and apply effort, but you must also be determined to keep the wired neural network robust."

Regina scanned her students' faces, trying to sense their level of understanding. "Are there any questions?"

Those who paid attention simply shook their heads. "That's all I have for today," she concluded, then smiled. "Please make sure you read the next chapter."

Her students hurriedly gathered their things and left the hall, leaving Emma and Regina behind.

"Professor-" Emma started but was interrupted.

"Miss Swan, I'm afraid I have a meeting that I must get to at once." Regina noticed her student's disappointed look, and quickly added. "But I'd like you to come to my office, say, in an hour. We have much to discuss."

Emma grinned, then nodded. "I'll be there."

* * *

 

Regina was pacing around her spacious office when she heard three, low knocks. Too nervous to sit, she opted to lean on her desk, her hands supporting her on each side, and faced the door. "Come in!"

Emma finally opened the door and stepped in, her eyes exploring the classically designed interior before finally landing on the object of her desire.

"Miss Swan," Regina began, determined not to forsake formalities on campus. "Would you like to have—" but the sentence was never finished as the blonde all but lunged at her, crushing their lips together in a fierce kiss.

Emma had no idea what had gotten into her, but seeing her professor leaning on that desk, in that unbearably sexy dress, made her release the tight grip she had on self-control.

Regina moaned, despite being surprised, and returned the kiss fervently, her lips parting slightly to allow her student passage. Emma was everywhere: her hands on the brunette's arms, her blonde curls brushing her face, her scent intoxicating her. " _Emma_ ," she moaned again, sounding more desperate than she would have liked.

Emma groaned deeply then bent down, wrapping her hands around firm thighs and lifting the older woman so she sat more fully on the desk now. "I love it when you say my name," she whispered before bringing her lips back to meet red, full ones.

Regina's hands were wrapping around Emma's neck now, pulling her closer. Her brain tried to rationalize the situation, tried to tell her to stop because it was certainly not the smartest thing to be doing in her office. She also tried to recall that they needed to talk, seriously and at length, but Emma's tongue was doing things to her and all she could think of was what it would feel like to have it inside of her, tasting her.

The blonde couldn't think at all. All she saw was Regina; her perfectly coiffed hair now mussed, her lipstick smudged, and her dress now risen to reveal smooth, toned thighs. She placed both her hands on her professor's thighs, stroking and squeezing.

Regina gasped, loving the electricity the woman elicited every time their skin touched. She decided she wanted more. "Emma," she leaned into her ear and breathed. "I want you to touch me."

"Fuck," Emma barely let out before reaching around with one arm, sweeping the desk clear and pushing the older woman back against it. She kissed her once, then let her lips trail to her chin, up her jaw, and down the crook of her neck. She lingered there, then bit down softly before allowing her tongue to soothe it. Emma was loving every inch of the brunette.

Her student's touch was causing her to moan and gasp like a woman that had never been touched before, and she was torn between feeling slightly embarrassed and not giving a crap. She went with the latter.

Emma moved a hand to the back of her dress and slowly began to unzip it, her fingers leaving a trail of heat and yearning in their wake. She arched her back into the touch, and was more than disappointed to feel its absence.

The younger woman's hands moved to the dress's sleeves and carefully slid them down to reveal full breasts encased in a black, lace bra. Emma brought fingers to trace the smooth skin, feeling more than a little pleased with the goose bumps she caused. She left her fingers there, lightly brushing the soft skin and effectively driving the woman crazy.

Emma leaned in to kiss Regina again, but just as their lips caressed, Regina seized a handful of blonde hair and all but yanked her head down to her chest. " _Here_ ," she moaned. "I want to feel your lips here."

Emma eagerly complied, and lowered the right cup to reveal a perfectly erect nipple aching for her. She finally brought her parted lips to it and kissed, then sucked and nibbled. Regina gasped once more, feeling her panties slowly getting wetter with every lick and bite. She wrapped her legs around the blonde's waist, needing and aching for more contact, and, feeling Emma's hard abs ripple against her throbbing sex, she all but screamed. " _Please_ …" She almost begged, her chest heaving, her breath ragged.

The blonde wanted to savor every moment but knew she could not deny the woman before her anything. Emma's hand began making its journey to where the brunette desired her most, but as she did so, a loud knock on the door interrupted them, causing both women to jump and freeze their advances.

"This is getting ridiculous," Regina muttered under her breath, and Emma's lips, still on her breast, widened in a grin. "Who is it?" She called out, trying desperately not to sound out of breath.

"Dr. Mills, the Dean would like to speak to you," her secretary stated.

"I'm a little busy, I'm afraid." Emma chuckled at that, causing Regina to lightly swat her on the arm. "Shh," she whispered.

"He said it's urgent."

"Fine. Is he on the phone?"

"No, he'd like to see you in his office."

Regina sighed at that, and reluctantly got off the desk. Her hands went around to zip her dress, but firm, warm hands stopped her. "Let me," Emma smiled, sounding less out of breath than the brunette would have liked.

"I apologize. If I didn't have to, I really wouldn't," the professor confessed, blushing.

"I know."

A smirk and an arched eyebrow emerged. "A little cocky, aren't we?"

Emma leaned in and kissed her slowly and passionately. "Only a little."

"We still need to have that talk."

"I know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you guys thought of this chapter :)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is mostly fluff with a pinch of sexy times towards the end. Thank you guys for taking the time to comment and give kudos, and thank you for giving this fic a shot. Enjoy!

Emma was so focused on her push-ups that she almost didn't hear the doorbell. She considered putting on a shirt but realized that she didn't quite have the energy to go upstairs and get one,  then made her way towards the door. She wasn't expecting anyone.

She certainly was not expecting Regina.

"Emma—" Regina began but was cut short by the sight before her. There the blonde was, clad in nothing but training shorts and a sports bra, her hair tied up in a messy pony tail and her skin coated in a sheen of sweat.

Emma watched, amused, as her professor's eyes roamed over her body and settled on her impressively sculpted abs, her mouth slightly agape. Regina's hand unconsciously reached out and touched her abdomen, but upon realizing what she was doing, hurriedly ripped her hand away and cleared her throat. Emma knew how fit she was, but she was still pleased to see the effect she had on the older woman.

"Regina," she finally said, smirking. "This is definitely a lovely surprise. How'd you get my address?"

Regina seemed to regain her composure, for now. Essentially, she was just trying to look anywhere but the blonde's body. "I'll tell you if you let me in."

"Yes, of course. How rude of me," she stepped aside. "Please, come in."

"Thought you'd never ask," the professor teased.

Once in, Regina looked around more closely, taking in the surprisingly elegant and tastefully decorated loft. "You have a lovely home, Miss Swan."

"Thank you," Emma replied, choosing not to remind Regina to drop the formalities. She found she didn't really mind it, especially when it was uttered with that sultry voice of hers. "Let me guess; you were expecting some dirty apartment with clothes lying everywhere and week-old food on the floor?"

"Perhaps not to that extent, but yes," the brunette chuckled, feeling a little embarrassed. "You, however, continue to surprise me."

"I'm glad to hear it," Emma smiled. "Why don't you sit down? Can I get you anything to drink?"

"Water would be fine, thank you. And would you please put on a shirt? This," she motioned with her hand, clearly referring to Emma's exposed body, "Is a little distracting."

Emma only snorted.

"I mean, really. Do you always answer the door half naked?"

The younger woman genuinely laughed at that comment, retorting, "No, actually. I don't. But it seems like today is your lucky day."

* * *

 

When Emma came back downstairs, she found her professor pacing back and forth across the room. She wasn't that nervous before, but seeing Regina made her change her mind. "I assume you're here to have that talk, then."

Regina looked up, a serious expression on her face. "You assume correctly."

"Do I need to sit down for this?" tried to joke, but seeing Regina like that told her not to push it.

"The situation is as follows," her professor began, still pacing, the clicking of her heels on the floor the only sound accompanying her voice. "You are my student."

"That I am," Emma agreed.

"And I am your professor."

"That you are."

"I am not supposed to be attracted to you," she continued. "I am really not supposed to be here, either."

"But you are…"

"I am," Regina confirmed. "Because, although I've only known you for a little while, there is something about you that keeps pulling me back in every time I try to stay away."

"I feel the same way," Emma admitted, though hesitantly. "Listen, it's very difficult for me to open up to people, or develop feelings for someone. But you…you're different."

"How so?" the brunette asked, curious.

"Well, I've never felt this comfortable around anyone before. Am I attracted to you physically? Hell, yes. God, I think you're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. But that's not all of it. It's…it's difficult to explain."

A deep blush colored Regina's cheeks, and she ducked away in attempts to hide it. "It's okay, I think I understand. It's just…something- something enigmatic."

"Exactly," Emma nodded, feeling relieved that her professor seemed to somewhat understand her ramblings. "So, what now?"

"Well, if we're caught, I could very well lose my job…"

"And I could probably get suspended…"

"Emma, how much do you want this? I mean, am I just another notch in your belt or do you actually have feelings for me?"

"Regina," Emma swiftly stood up and held her hands. "You could never be a notch in my belt. I honestly want to give this a go."

"Okay, then," she said, firmly.

"Okay."

"I'd like you to kiss me now, Miss Swan," Regina declared, her eyes staring deep into emerald ones.

"Gladly," Emma let out before finally eliminating what little distance there was between the two.

* * *

 

"Are you a vampire, by any chance?" Regina called an hour later as she went through Emma's kitchen.

Emma laughed, slightly confused at the brunette's question. "A vampire?"

"It's the only explanation I have for how empty your fridge is," she clarified.

"I'm not much of a cook; I usually sustain myself with take-out and frozen food."

"That's awful. How is it you have a body like yours if you don't have a healthy diet?"

"Well, I do own a gym…" Emma trailed, a little amused with where this conversation was heading.

Regina shook her head, then smirked, "How could I forget?"

"Speaking of which, I think you're due for another private session with yours truly."

"Am I really?" asked, the smirk never fading from luscious lips.

Emma, now wearing sweatpants and a tank top after taking a quick shower, walked over to her professor, her steps slow but purposeful. "Are you questioning your coach, Ms. Mills?"

"I think I would prefer it more if you called me Professor Mills, not Miss," barely breathed, Emma now a mere inch away from her.

Emma's lips lightly brushed hers, "What about Regina?"

"Say it again," she almost moaned, their lips still brushing, but only just.

" _Regina_ ," a virtual whisper.

And now Regina really did moan, her lips crashing into the blonde's with a desire that never really seemed to leave, but instead always lay under the surface, dormant. She didn't understand why hearing her name caused such a reaction, but there was something about the way Emma said it, her lips slightly parted, her eyes gazing intently into hers, as though promising her something- she just had no idea what that something was.

Emma deepened the kiss, slowing it down and speeding it up all at once. There was nothing urgent about it; she wanted to savor everything about the moment, every lick and bite, every taste and scent. She didn't believe in magic, but at this moment, kissing Regina, she was certain that if magic really did exist, it would feel something like this.

* * *

 

The next couple of weeks went by in a blur, and the two, now officially a couple, were most definitely in their honeymoon phase. Keeping it all a secret was a challenge to say the least. On campus, Regina tried her best not to show any favoritism towards Emma, which was proving to be quite difficult because Emma was, without a doubt, the brightest in her class. Likewise, Emma tried to keep her distance from her professor as much as possible; she stopped lingering after class, and although she didn't give up her spot on that bench, she refrained from asking Regina to join her.

In most cases, Emma and Regina would spend time at the gym. Regina started going to 'training sessions' almost every day, and while Emma really did train her, more than half of the meeting was occupied with conversation.

Their dating methods were nowhere near typical, that much was obvious, but Regina found the whole situation to be quite thrilling. On more than one occasion, she would be haunted with thoughts of what her mother would think of her if she were still alive; a renowned Harvard professor having a fling with one of her students. A woman, no less.

But the more time Regina spent with Emma, the more she realized that, whatever it was, it certainly was not a fling. Emma was, in all aspects, the best person she had ever met. She was kind, sweet, thoughtful and smart. Of course, it didn't hurt that the blonde was extremely attractive, and to her surprise, quite romantic when the moment allowed it. She was slowly, but surely, falling for her- she just wasn't ready to admit it to anyone, especially not to herself.

Emma hadn't been this happy in a long time; after that nasty break-up she went through more than a year ago, she was resigned to being alone for a while longer. She didn't feel comfortable letting anyone back in but Regina was effectively bulldozing every wall she tried to put up. Emma had to admit that, when she first caught a glimpse of the brunette, the only attraction she felt was purely physical. Regina's body, her lips, her eyes, the way she dressed, even her voice sometimes sent her head spinning.

But now, almost 2 months later, Emma found herself being consumed with thoughts of a life with Regina, a future. To say she was terrified by the idea would have been an understatement, because Emma and commitment were never best buds. The only long term relationship she was in had broken her, in more ways than one, and she was all but convinced that the lifestyle preceding that relationship, which largely consisted of one-night-stands and friends with benefits, was her best option.

Regina was different. Yes, she was gorgeous, but Emma soon realized that the pull she felt towards the brunette was something intrinsic in nature. She felt that, at risk of sounding like a hopeless cliché, her entire life had been a long overture leading to a breathtaking crescendo, and meeting Regina was just that.

Because if Emma was a symphony, Regina was the maestro.

* * *

 

"What are you grinning about?" Regina asked, a bead of sweat trickling down her face. She was focusing everything she had into her fists as she punched the mats in Emma's hands, but the blonde was clearly not sharing that focus.

"Hmm?" Emma furrowed, not realizing she was grinning at all.

"You have had that silly grin on your face for the past five minutes, and while I know my boxing skills have improved greatly, I do not think they warrant such a grin," Regina was clearly teasing, but she was still curious to know what had her student so occupied.

"Nah, it's nothing…" she trailed, the statement anything but convincing.

Regina was having none of it, "Spit it out, will you?"

The blonde gave up, sighing. "Okay, okay. I just remembered that night in my car."

Her professor wasn't quite sure what she was referring to until she saw her smirk. Regina blushed. "Oh."

"Yeah."

"What on earth brought that up now?"

"It's your fault, really. You're here, all hot and sweaty, and all I can think of is how I wanna push you against a wall and do all kinds of things to you that'll make you chant my name over and over."

Regina suppressed a moan. "Emma," half warning, half begging her to continue.

"Right, right. It's not the time nor the place," Emma agreed, nodding. "But that doesn't mean I can't fantasize about what would've happened if we weren't interrupted."

* * *

 

_Emma and Regina were driving back from a road trip to a small town in Maine where Regina had lived and grown up. It was something very intimate for the brunette to be sharing, but now, heading back, she was convinced she had made the right choice. Sharing something so personal with Emma had only strengthened their relationship, and had, indirectly, made her student trust her even more. Emma loved how Regina felt comfortable enough to tell her things about herself that no one knew, her past relationships, her broken family, her almost nonexistent love-life after her failed engagement; Emma thought it only fair to return that trust._

_And now, their hands entwined over the gear stick, Emma was able to divulge her memories to the brunette, good and bad. The ride, at least most of it, was highly emotional. Emma sought solace in her new-founded trust for Regina, and she almost felt ten times lighter when she let it all out._

_It wasn't until they had to pull over for a moment that things got unexpectedly heated._

" _Emma," Regina had said. "Do you mind pulling over for a second? I just need to get my coat from the back seat. I'd ask you to turn off the air conditioning but I know you're as warm-blooded as they come."_

_Emma chuckled at that. "Oh, yeah, sure."_

_Just as Regina unbuckled her seat belt and turned around to get her coat, an unexpected thought crossed her mind. She paused, then brought the piece of clothing with her and turned back. She fiddled with it for a second too long, an action that did not go unnoticed by Emma.._

" _Everything alright?" she asked, concerned with Regina's silence._

" _You said you've had a lot of girlfriends, right?"_

_Emma was taken aback by the question, but she answered nonetheless. "I wouldn't really call them girlfriends…"_

" _Ah, yes. Playgirl Emma Swan does not have girlfriends," she teased, trying not to sound jealous._

_The blonde knew her professor was joking around, but she was still cautious. "Regina, where is this going?"_

" _I was merely wondering if you've ever had…relations with girls in your car," Regina stated, nonchalantly._

_Emma was definitely not expecting that. "Uh, when you say relations…"_

_She rolled her eyes. "Come on, Emma. You know exactly what I mean."_

" _Well, I suppose I've made out with a couple, but nothing beyond that."_

_Emma was studying Regina’s expression to determine her thoughts when she suddenly opened the door and got out._

" _Regina what are you—" but she didn't finish as she quickly realized the brunette's intention._

_Regina had folded her seat and slid it forward, then stepped into the backseat of the car. "Well?" she asked, her eyes a deeper shade of brown. "Do you plan on making me wait, Miss Swan?"_

" _Hell no," Emma barely let out as she twisted and unceremoniously fell face first into the backseat. She knew she probably looked like an idiot but she didn't give two craps._

_Once she sat properly on the black leather, she turned towards her professor and tugged at her waist; in most cases, she would've simply picked her up and placed her on her lap, but the back of her car was not large enough to support such actions._

_Regina got the hint, luckily, and was quickly straddling Emma's lap. She leaned in and captured thin, pink lips and kissed her passionately but with some urgency. Emma's hands were simultaneously pulling her closer and pushing her down, causing her to whimper at the sudden pressure._

_Regina thought it absurd how quickly Emma could make her wet; a simple look, a soft but firm kiss. Now, her knees on either side of Emma, her tight skirt riding up and causing her sex to rub against Emma's hard abs, she felt positively euphoric._

_Emma's fingers were slowly but confidently pulling her button-up shirt, trying to release it from her skirt's grip. Upon doing so, a hand gently made its way under the material, first caressing then gripping a plush breast. That, coupled with the other hand squeezing her ass only drove Regina crazier, her head falling backwards and her lips parting to release a deep moan._

_Emma removed the hand from under the shirt, and just when Regina was about to protest the loss, Emma was lifting her up and repositioning herself so she could straddle her thigh. If Regina was getting any pleasure from grinding against Emma's abdomen, she was certainly more satisfied with Emma's thigh between her legs._

_Strong, muscular and oh, so perfect._

_Their lips were devouring each other once more, Regina's hips establishing a rhythm as she slid and grinded on what she was hoping to be the cause of her release._

_Emma's hands went back to her shirt, unbuttoning and exposing more skin to taste._ _She knew Regina was close; she didn't need to have much experience to make that deduction. Regina's breathing was ragged and her speech was incoherent at best. Knowing this, Emma proceeded to thrust her thigh harder into the woman on top, her lips now sliding down a slender neck and leaving a trail of wet kisses in its wake._

_When the brunette's hips sped up, more desperate and urgent than ever, Emma grabbed a handful of ass and bit down on her neck, hard. To her relief, that was exactly what Regina needed to finally push her over the edge, and she screamed Emma's name, loud and clear._

_Emma brought her lips back to Regina's, her tongue tracing her bottom lip and her hands still resting on her backside. Regina was feeling quite spent, but she knew how wet, how ready the blonde would be for her, and she was determined to do something about it._

_She pulled back, staring into green eyes now almost black with desire. She smirked as her hand made its journey down Emma's torso then paused at her jean button. She maintained eye contact as she deliberately unbuttoned her jeans and slowly slid her hand into Emma's briefs._

" _Emma," she almost moaned. "You're so wet."_

_Emma almost passed out right then and there._

_Really, the only thing keeping her conscious was the promise of an earth shattering orgasm caused by the sexiest woman she'd ever met._

_In fact, she was so focused on that idea that she almost didn't hear the hard tap-tap-tap on her tinted window._

* * *

 

"Poor guy," Regina said, shaking her head. "I think he almost had a heart attack."

"I'm just glad I didn't get a ticket," she laughed at the memory. The officer had pulled over, a little concerned, after noticing a yellow Camaro on the side of the ride, rocking from side to side. "Plus," she continued. "Most men aren't as lucky as him."

"Lucky?"

"Baby, the way we looked, and the way we were going at it, we might as well had been porn stars."


	8. Chapter 8

Regina was having one of the longest days of her life. She had been reading and correcting assignments for the past three hours and a half, and she was still nowhere near done. It certainly didn't help that Emma was sitting there, staring at her, distracting her with her smile and emerald eyes.

"Emma," she sighed for the sixth time that day.

"What?" Emma knew exactly 'what' it was, but she still feigned innocence.

"Stop looking at me, I can't concentrate."

"But you look so sexy with those glasses, I can't not look," the blonde reasoned, grinning. When Emma saw Regina earlier that day pulling out her black-rimmed glasses from a pouch on her desk, she was so taken by the sight before her that she had become transfixed by it. She didn't quite understand how glasses could look so appealing on someone, but at this point, she was pretty sure that Regina could pull off any look.

Regina tittered, trying not to blush. "Oh, stop it, you. I know I look quite nerdy."

"Nerdy never looked so hot," Emma retorted. "You're starting to give me fantasies involving a very strict teacher and an extremely eager student."

She smirked, an eyebrow rising suggestively. "But I am a strict professor," she said while she stood up. "And you," her voice dropping an octave as she strolled over to the blonde, "are a very eager student."

"My, my, Professor Mills," Emma gulped, her briefs suddenly feeling a little sticky. "Are you flirting with me?"

"Who, me?" she gasped, doing her best to sound incredulous, but never halting her movements. She was now hovering over the blonde, who was still lying haphazardly on the couch. "I am simply stating a fact."

Emma was just about ready to submit herself to her professor entirely, no questions asked, when her thoughts were interrupted by a phone ringing.

"Ugh, will someone give me a break," Regina huffed, clearly frustrated with the interference. Reaching for her phone, she shot Emma a look that clearly stated _this isn't over_ , then picked up. "This is Dr. Mills."

" _Dr. Mills, I know you've gone home for the day, but there's an emergency staff meeting you must attend."_

"Right now?" it was almost 6pm; a staff meeting at this time seemed absurd.

" _Yes, I'm afraid so."_

She sighed, knowing she didn't have much of a choice. "Alright, I'll be there."

* * *

 

As Regina sorted through her pile of papers, making sure everything was in order, she realized, with disappointment, that only a few of her students managed to get an 'A'. That is why, when she went around to give them back their assignments, she made sure to let those select few know that she was proud of them.

One of them, of course, was Emma, and she tried to tone down her smile when she walked over to her seat, handing her the paper. She leaned in slightly, and whispered low so no one would overhear. "I think you deserve a reward for this, Miss Swan."

Emma smirked confidently. "I wonder what you had in mind, Professor."

Regina mimicked the smirk, and continued her trip to the rest of her class. Another student, Sidney Glass, was also one of the few to impress her. "Mr. Glass," she said, smiling genuinely. "I was quite pleased with your paper. Keep up the good work."

Sidney blushed, though Regina didn't notice, and thanked his professor. "I was under the impression that I didn't do so well, Professor."

She shook her head, then placed a hand on his shoulder. "Nonsense. I am always impressed by students whom, despite their circumstances, are able to excel. You're a bright student, Mr. Glass. You just need to believe it."

And Regina really did believe it, because for someone who was thirty-five years old, with no family left and barely any money, Mr. Glass was doing a splendid job.

He was starting to believe it too, especially when it came from his favorite professor. "Thank you."

Once Regina finished her rounds, she stepped back to her desk and leaned on its side, her arms supporting her. She was about to speak when her position reminded her of a previous encounter with the blonde in her office. Her lips on hers, her hands trailing down her spine as she unzipped her dress. She gasped, then immediately recovered.

She really needed to pull herself together.

Glancing at her special student, the look in her eyes told her that she knew exactly what Regina was recalling, and she couldn't help her cheeks slightly reddening under the blonde's gaze.

She cleared her throat then began speaking, loud and firm. "Except for a handful of you, I was quite disappointed with your papers. I was expecting more.” She sighed, her tone softening a bit, "I am sure you're all much more capable than that, and I hope to see that reflected in your next assignment."

With that hanging in the air, she walked back to the blackboard and started writing. "Now, onto our next lesson."

* * *

 

Emma was walking towards Regina's desk after class ended, hoping to tease her about her temporary flustered state, when a man's voice coming from behind made her pause.

"Professor Mills," the voice said. Emma didn't know what it was, but she didn't like the way the guy said it.

Regina looked up, spotting the blonde a few inches away, then seeing the other student. "Mr. Glass," she smiled again. "How may I help you?"

"I was wondering if you had office hours later this evening. I have a couple of questions I'd like to ask you."

"Of course, I'll be in my office at 4pm. You're welcome to come see me then."

"Perfect," he smiled at both Emma and Regina. "Have a good day."

Emma remained standing there, her mind clearly somewhere else.

Regina sensed something off about the blonde. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah, yeah," she assured, then grinned. "The dude just got in the way of me teasing you, is all."

Regina furrowed her brow, trying to seem confused but was failing. "Tease me about what, exactly?"

She smirked, then leaned in closer. "You know exactly what I mean."

The brunette groaned, stepping back in attempts to keep some distance between them. "This is all your fault. Now, every time I see a desk or lean on it, all I can think of is that day in my office."

Emma's smirk only grew bolder, her eyes momentarily dropping to her professor's plump lips then back to her chocolate eyes. "I don't remember you complaining."

"Oh, shush," Regina mumbled, her hand gently but firmly pushing Emma's shoulder.

The blonde chuckled, loving how the usually confident and put-together woman became flustered upon being teased. "Well, you could always come over tonight. I might not have a desk, but I have a very nice counter in my kitchen, and I'm sure it's capable of serving the same purpose." Then, as an afterthought, added, "Or a bed. Beds sound a little more comfortable, don't you think?"

Despite the fact the two have been dating for a few months now, they hadn't actually done…it, yet. They both agreed that, since their first week of encounters went too fast, they wanted to take their relationship a little slower.

That's not to say that, on more than one occasion, one or both of them caved, not being able to control the strong magnetic pull that seemed to exist between them, but to their relief, or frustration, they often couldn't tell, something or someone would always come up and interrupt their advances. In fact, the furthest they've gone was in that car, and even then, the only tool used was Emma's toned thigh.

Emma definitely did not want to push the brunette, that's why she was only half serious when she suggested that they meet later. Personally, she knew she was more than ready to take Regina, to please her, to make her moan her name. Hell, she was probably ready to do that when Regina walked by her the first day of college.

That's why she wasn't entirely surprised when Regina refused the offer. "I'm afraid I'm a little busy tonight, Emma," then quickly added, noticing her student's disappointed look, "But I'm free tomorrow night."

Emma perked up at that, not caring one bit about how enthusiastic she looked and sounded. "Yeah?"

Regina couldn't help but smile, finding the younger woman's reaction endearing. "Yes. In fact, how about I cook you that dinner I promised?"

Emma was positively euphoric at that moment, her smile growing impossibly wider and her eyes sparkling. "I'd love that!"

"It's a date, then." Regina chuckled, realizing that, at risk of sounding sappy, she wouldn't mind looking into those bright green eyes or seeing that sincere smile for the rest of her life.

* * *

 

Later that day, a knock on her office door alerted Regina, making her stop the typing on her laptop. "Yes?"

The door opened slightly, her secretary's head poking in. "A Mr. Glass is here to see you, Dr. Mills."

She looked at the time, not realizing that it was already 4pm, and smiled. She appreciated punctuality. "Yes, I've been expecting him. Please, let him in."

A moment later, her student was walking in timidly, a folder grasped in his arms. "Hello, Professor Mills."

"Mr. Glass," she greeted. "Would you like to sit down?"

"Uh, yeah. Sure."

"So, you said you had questions for me?" she asked, going right to business.

"Yes, it was actually about my thesis. I hope you don't mind; I know it has nothing to do with your class, but you seemed the most likely to be willing to help."

"Oh," she said, a little surprised, but continued to smile. "I would love to. Though, depending on the topic of your thesis, I am not entirely sure I could be of much help."

"That's actually what I wanted help with. I have no idea what I want my thesis to be about, and I was wondering if you might be kind enough to provide some insight on the matter."

Regina sympathized with him, recalling how much she struggled to find a topic for her own thesis. "Ah, I see." She tapped her chin, a habit that usually surfaced when she was in deep thought. "Well, I can definitely understand your dilemma. When I was doing my Master's degree, I, too, had trouble writing my thesis. The key is to search for the topic that interests you most."

"That's the issue, I'm afraid," he admitted. "I'm interested in many topics."

"Yes, but what's important is to know what topic you'd be willing to carry extensive research on," she clarified, tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear. "What Master's degree are you seeking to acquire?"

"A general Master's degree in Psychology, so, really, I have endless options."

Regina sat back in her chair, her brows furrowed in concentration. "That can be both good and bad."

"I must agree."

"Alright, here's what you should do. Write a list of the top ten topics that you're most curious about; I would ask you to do it now but I'd like you to take some time and think it over carefully. Once you have that list, come see me again, and we can discuss it at length."

"Thank you, Professor. I'd really appreciate that," feeling both surprised and happy that she was willing to help.  _She must like you, Sidney,_  he thought to himself.

Regina, oblivious to his thoughts, smiled once more and nodded. She always felt pleased when a student came specifically to her for help. Not only did it prove that she was good at what she did, but it also made her feel liked and appreciated. There was also a certain joy she got from helping others, and in this case, she was more than happy to do so.

* * *

 

The next day, Regina was scheduled to have a training session with Emma. She was quite anxious about how the day would unfold. After their session, Regina was supposed to go to Emma's loft and cook her dinner. After that…well, she had a good idea what she wanted to do after that. She was more than a little sure that Emma wanted the same thing.

That night, in the backseat of the blonde's car, had been, without a doubt, the most arousing encounter she had ever experienced- and Emma didn't even use her clearly skillful fingers, or her equally skilled tongue. Thus, she could only imagine how exhilarating it would be to finally have Emma, all of her.

Moments later, she received a text message from the woman occupying her thoughts, asking her what ingredients she needed to purchase for dinner. She began to type her response when she realized she missed her student's voice. She opted to call instead.

" _Hey, Regina. Perfect timing- I just sent you a text."_

"I know, that's why I called."

" _Oh, okay."_  Emma clearly sounded confused, wondering why the brunette didn't just text her back.  _"Is everything okay?"_

"Yes, yes. I just wanted to hear—" Regina began, then paused, not wanting to sound desperate. "I just prefer talking rather than texting."

Emma was pretty sure that wasn't it, because Regina never had a problem texting her in the past. She, however, didn't want to push it, and played along. "Alright. So, what do I need to get from the grocery store?"

Regina hadn't noticed how ridiculous her excuse was until now, when she realized that it was going to be a long list and it was probably more efficient to send a text. "Uh, on second thought, I suppose it would be easier to text you the list."

Chuckling, the blonde responded,  _"That's exactly why I sent you the text."_

Regina shook her head, laughing, "I'll send it now. Oh, and Emma, do we still have that training session?"

" _Hell yeah. You're not getting off that easy."_

She couldn't contain her laughter upon hearing Emma's poor choice of words, "Oh, really?"

Emma stuttered, not knowing exactly how to respond.  _"Uh…that's not…I didn't mean…"_

"Relax, Emma," she said, amused by the younger woman's flustered speech. "I'm only teasing."

" _Ugh, I guess I deserved that,"_ she admitted.

Still smiling wide, she said, "Only slightly."

* * *

 

"So, coach. What exactly are we doing today?" Regina asked, following the blonde towards the heavy bag.

Emma grinned, "I like it when you call me that."

"What, ‘coach’?" she smirked. "It's nothing special."

Her student suddenly turned around and got right into her personal space, her lips inches away from her ear. "I think whatever comes out of your mouth is special."

Regina gasped, surprised by Emma's proximity and words. She didn't get a chance to respond, however, as the younger woman backed away and began walking again.

"To answer your question, we've been focusing on your upper body strength for the past couple of weeks. I'd like to work on your lower body now. Your thighs and glutes," the last part emphasized by a quick slap to Regina's ass.

"Emma!" she gasped, not quite as annoyed as she sounded.

"Yeah, yeah," Emma smirked, raising her hands up to signal surrender. "I'll  _try_ not to do it again."

Regina shook her head, but still smiled, "You're unbelievable, you know that?"

"I know, I'm too good to be true."

She swatted her arm playfully, surprised to find that she didn't really mind Emma's confidence as much as she thought she would. "Let's just get started, shall we, dear?"

"Yup, let me just get us gloves."

When she came back, she let her own pair of gloves drop to the floor before placing each of Regina's hands into the other pair

"You do know I'm perfectly capable of wearing these on my own, yes?"

"Yeah, and?" Emma looked up from her task, trying to look oblivious.

"And, nothing. I'm just informing you that you don't actually have to put my gloves on every time."

"Yeah, well," the blonde trailed, her gaze falling back to the gloves. "I like doing it myself."

Regina didn't want to push her, but she was curious. "And why is that?"

Emma looked back up, alarmed. She expected the older woman to just accept what she said, but then again, she knew how forthright Regina could be and how, in most cases, she expected the same from others. "Uhm…" she might as well just let it out. "I barely get to hold your hand in public, so this is the only time I get to do that."

The brunette was definitely not expecting such a candid answer. In fact, she was half teasing when she asked, and expected Emma to tease back. "Oh," was the only thing that came out.

"Yeah," Emma muttered, then quickly moved on. "Anyway, we're going to start with a simple combination, right-kick, left-kick," she moved closer to the bag and demonstrated. "Then, we'll add in punches. That way, you'd be working your whole body."

"Okay, that sounds easy enough."

For the first minute, Regina kicked the bag nonstop, her heart rate rising and a trickle of sweat sliding from her brow down her face.

Emma handed her a bottle and told her to take a short break, then showed her the next combination. "Okay, now let's add punches. Jab-cross-right kick-left kick."

Regina watched closely, trying not to be distracted by Emma's biceps and shoulders rippling in time with the punches. She never thought of herself as someone who liked muscular women, but Emma just had the right amount, and she couldn't help but be captivated by it.

After feeling her heart rate drop slightly, she attempted to imitate Emma.

She failed.

She almost immediately lost her balance, but Emma was right there to catch her, her arms wrapping protectively around her, just under her breasts, and pulling her up before she fell. "You okay?" she asked, concerned.

"Yes, sorry about that."

"No worries, want to give it another go?"

Regina nodded, standing up and planting her left foot firmly ahead of her right, then tried again. This time, she didn't fall, but the movement still didn't feel entirely right.

Emma leaned in, placing a hand on the small of her back, and the other on her thigh. Her coach's cheek was barely brushing against hers, her warm breath seeming cold as it caressed her sweat covered body. "When you move to kick with your right," her hand moved from her back to her hip. "Shift your weight onto your left foot to remain balanced. Then, when you kick with your left," now the hand on her thigh moving towards her hip too, "lean slightly backwards, to shift your balance onto your right leg."

Regina was barely able to process Emma's words because she was too focused on her hands. After weeks of being in the same position on countless occasions, she thought she'd get used to it, that maybe the blonde's touch wouldn't have the same effect on her.

She, however, was always proven wrong.

She nodded once more, and recalled her coach's instructions as she tried again. It worked, and it definitely felt right this time.

"That was perfect," Emma smiled, always impressed with how quickly Regina seemed to pick things up. "Now repeat the whole thing for a whole minute."

Regina groaned, but complied nonetheless. While doing it, though, she got distracted by Emma taking off her shirt, causing her to lose her footing and twist her ankle before she fell right on her ass. "Ouch," she squeaked, immediately feeling pain shoot right to her left foot.

"Regina!" Emma swiftly discarded her shirt to the ground, all but running towards her professor. She knelt beside her, trying to see if she was injured. "Are you alright? What hurts?"

"My ankle," she barely mumbled, the pain now overwhelming her senses. "I think I twisted it."

"Crap, okay, don't move." The blonde stood up and made to leave, then decided against it. "You know what, I'll take you to my office so you could lie down, then I'll get you a pack of ice for that ankle."

"I thought you told me not to move?"

"You won't have to. I'm going to carry you to my office."

"What? Emma-" but before Regina could protest any further, Emma knelt down again and placed an arm under her knees and another just under her arms. She outright gasped, not only because of the sudden movement, but also because Emma's fingers were firmly planted on the side of her breast.

"Just stay still, will you? There are lots of stairs up ahead."

Regina didn't understand how the younger woman could carry her so easily, she knew she wasn't heavy, but she wasn't exactly light either. Yet, here they were, Emma's body flush against her, her exposed abdomen pressed tightly into her side.

Regina didn't know why she hadn't twisted her ankle weeks ago.

Once they arrived to Emma's office, she carefully lay her on the couch and made sure her left leg was fully extended. "Make sure it stays that way," she instructed. "I'll go get you an ice pack."

Moments later, she was back and on her knees for the third time that evening. She untied Regina's shoe and gently took it off, making sure to support her foot as she did so. After the sock was also removed, Emma lowered Regina's leg back down and placed the ice pack on her ankle.

Regina winced.

"Sorry, did that hurt?" Emma asked, afraid she wasn't gentle enough.

Regina smiled, loving how tender and concerned Emma seemed at that moment. "No, no," she assured. "It's just cold."

"Oh, okay."

"You do realize this is all your fault, yes?" she asked, her tone clearly playful.

Emma didn't notice, her focus clearly on the now slightly swollen ankle. "Yeah, I guess it was still too soon for you to start with that combo."

The older woman shook her head, and laughed lightly. "That wasn't what I was referring to."

"No?"

"No. You distracted me when you started taking off your shirt. As such, my injury is entirely your responsibility."

Emma tried to contain her laughter, but the look on Regina's face combined with her words made her burst out. "Seriously?"

"Yes, seriously. Honestly, why would you even take off your shirt?"

"Because I was starting to feel hot…?"

"Unbelievable," she reiterated, not really annoyed.

"So you've said."

* * *

 

After the swelling subsided, Emma insisted that Regina stay over at her loft. She didn't think it was wise for her to drive all the way back to her mansion, and she explained she'd rather be there to take care of her.

Regina had never seen this side of Emma before; she knew she was kind and sweet, but this gentle and caring Emma was new to her and it was having a profound effect on her.

Now sitting in the living room, her legs resting on Emma's lap, boxes of Chinese take-out empty on the table, Regina realized that she wouldn't mind doing this every day for the rest of her life.

"I apologize for not cooking you dinner as promised," she announced, breaking the comfortable silence that had settled between them.

"Are you kidding? I should be the one apologizing for your twisted ankle."

"I believe it's not quite as bad as it looks, actually. The swelling is all but gone, and I attempted putting some weight on it earlier and it didn't hurt as much."

Emma's hands moved to her left foot and slowly began to massage it, her ministrations gentle but deliberate. "Yeah, but you should probably avoid putting any pressure on it for now, just to be safe. I think you're right, though. You were lucky."

Regina's entire body relaxed, causing her to let out a contented breath and close her eyes. "You're surprisingly good at that."

The younger woman grinned, her hands never halting, "That's not the only thing I'm good at."

Smirking, her eyes still shut, Regina retorted, "Oh, I'm sure."

Emma chuckled softly, then, looking at her watch, realized that it was getting late. "Are you ready for bed?"

"Now that you mention it, yes. I'm quite exhausted."

"Okay, I'll take you up to my bed and I'll sleep on the couch downstairs."

"Don't be absurd. I'm perfectly fine down here," Regina insisted.

"Regina," Emma sighed, too tired to argue with the woman. "My couch is comfortable, but I promise my bed is much better. Plus, you have to have your leg extended at all times, and the only way you could do that is if you sleep in bed."

The brunette realized Emma's mind was made up. "Okay, but on one condition," she stated.

"What's that?" Emma asked, curious.

"How big is your bed?"

"Queen-sized."

"Then sharing it would not be that difficult."

Emma didn't really know how to react to that, and was about to object when she saw her professor's expression, clearly stating the matter was not up for discussion. So, instead, she got up and once again leaned down to pick Regina up, whose arms instinctively wrapped around her neck.

"You seem to enjoy carrying me around," she teased with a smirk.

"And you seem to enjoy being carried around," Emma teased back.

* * *

 

Emma was used to sleeping in her briefs and tank, but having Regina share her bed made her opt for a pair of old basketball shorts instead. She lent Regina a shirt and sweat pants, but Regina, upon trying on the shirt and realizing it was long enough to cover her ass, decided to discard the pants.

So now, lying beside her gorgeous professor, clad in nothing but an oversized shirt and panties, Emma was suddenly feeling very hot. She had half the mind to straddle Regina and kiss her senseless, but she knew it wasn't the best idea right now.

Instead, she turned on her side and faced the older woman, her eyes already closed and her features relaxed. "Goodnight, Regina."

"Goodnight, Emma," she whispered back.

And slowly, they both drifted into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts? :)


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for all the comments/kudos. Not gonna lie, it feels pretty amazing knowing that other people actually like my story. Your support is much appreciated! Also, I know that Glass is a total creep but unfortunately his creepiness is essential to the story. Bear with me!

Regina did not expect Emma Swan to be a cuddler. When her eyes drifted open, she was more than a little surprised to find the younger woman's arms wrapped tightly around her midsection and a hard, toned thigh right between her legs.

As the blonde shifted, still very much asleep, Regina couldn’t help the gasp escaping her lips as the thigh was pushed, slightly but surely, upwards and into an area that was perfectly dormant.

Until now, that was.

She tried, desperately, to wriggle free from Emma's tight hold, but she soon discovered that the woman's strength was not diminished by her state of unconsciousness.

Emma's breathing was deep and measured. Regina tried her best not to rouse her when she, once again, attempted to detach herself because as much as she would have loved to stay in this position forever, the thigh was driving her a little more insane with every second.

In fact, she was so focused on being careful not to wake Emma up that she didn't notice her breathing become shallower and her eyes fluttering open, blinking several times before finally adjusting to the single ray of sunshine that managed to seep in between the curtains.

"Regina?" the blonde mumbled, burying her face deeper into the crook of her neck, and if Regina had thought her hold was tight before, now it was significantly more so.

"Good morning, Emma," she finally croaked, her voice raspier than usual. Her fingers started to caress the arms wrapped around her, her mind momentarily forgetting about the issue between her legs. "Did you sleep well?"

She felt Emma nuzzling closer into her, and she couldn’t help but let out a contented sigh when the younger woman began peppering featherlike kisses up and down the side of her neck. "Yeah," she eventually whispered between kisses. "Better than I have in a while."

She was about to inform Emma of her thigh's position when that said thigh was suddenly swung around her waist, pinning her down and pulling her back flush against her chest. Regina, albeit glad to have the thigh replaced elsewhere, found herself missing the warmth and slight pressure it had offered.

The kisses were growing firmer now, more insistent, and Regina decided that she'd much rather have those lips on hers. She was more than slightly pleased with herself when she elicited a gasp, then a moan, from Emma upon turning around and capturing her lips with hers.

It was slow, passionate and nowhere near innocent.

Regina's tongue was making Emma very light-headed. In turn, Emma's hands were roaming all over Regina's body, stroking and exploring. First over her borrowed shirt then slowly inching towards its hem, and Regina was once again getting consumed by everything that was Emma Swan. Really, they were so absorbed with each other's touches that no one would've blamed them for missing the alarm.

But they didn't miss it.

"Ugh, fuck," Emma groaned and turned around, leaving a hand resting on Regina's stomach while the other reached to silence the incessant sound emanating from her phone.

Regina chuckled, more amused than upset by the interruption, then leant in to nibble on the blonde's ear before whispering, "Well dear, that was what I was attempting to do before your alarm ever so graciously interjected."

"Regina," she half moaned, half whined. "You're such a tease, you know that?"

Planting one last, almost chaste kiss on her lips, Regina turned around and lowered her legs to get off the bed. It took her a split second to remember her twisted ankle after both of her feet landed on the floor, but it was a split second too late, and upon contact, the pain shooting up her leg was enough to make her feel dizzy.

Emma was quick to notice, immediately jumping off the bed and running to Regina's side, carefully lifting her legs back up to the bed. "It still hurts, huh?"

Regina sighed, mostly thinking about how she will wear heels with a twisted ankle _. This is highly inconvenient_. "Yes, but not as much as it did last night."

"That's good to hear," she said, a hand under her left foot holding it in place and the other massaging it gently. "The swelling is gone, at least," she continued. "I'm going to press lightly, and tell me exactly where it hurts." With two fingers, Emma began pressing gently on and around the ankle, trying to determine the nature of the injury.

Eventually, Regina gasped, reaching out to cover Emma’s hand to let her know where the pain was most evident. "There, right there."

"That's great!" Emma declared with a smile.

Her smile, however, was returned with a confused look from the brunette. "Excuse me?"

Chuckling, Emma resumed her massaging and explained, "it's great because, based on where it hurts, it looks like it's just going be a bruised ankle. I was worried you had ripped a tissue or a ligament."

"Oh," she heaved a sigh of relief. "I suppose that is good, then. How could you be so sure, though?"

"Experience—personal and otherwise. I've dealt with a lot of twisted ankles in the past, so I know a thing or two."

Regina was about to respond when Emma gasped after looking at her phone screen, no doubt realizing the time. "Shit! I'm going to be late for class!"

"Don't worry, dear. It's not like it takes you a while to get dressed. Jeans and a tank should do it, yes?" the brunette let out, her tone playful.

Emma laughed as she ironically happened to pull out a pair of dark grey jeans and a black tank top, "Are you making fun of my style, Professor Mills?"

"Not at all, dear," she smirked. "Casual suits you quite well."

"Thanks," Emma said before leaning in to kiss her cheek. "And fancy suits  _you_ quite well."

Running her fingers through sleep-mussed hair, she replied, "I know."

"You're humble too," the blonde laughed, shaking her head. "On a serious note, though, I recommend you not wear your fuck-me heels for at least three days. They'd only make your ankle worse."

"I beg your pardon?" Regina's smirk and raised eyebrow back on display. "Did you really just say what I think you did?"

"What? 'Fuck-me heels'?" her smirk even wider than Regina's. "Yes, yes I did. Your shoe collection does things to me. Really, everything that you wear does things to me. Pencil skirts, skin-tight dresses…"

Regina couldn’t quite hide how pleased she felt at hearing that. "Well dear, as much as I'd love to hear a detailed description of exactly what my clothes do to you, I really think you should start getting ready."

Emma was not thrilled about it, but she knew she was right. "Fine. I'll get dressed in the bathroom, so you can have the room."

* * *

 

Sidney hadn't been this excited about anything…ever. When he asked Professor Mills for help with his thesis, he was 99% sure she wouldn't agree to help. To his absolute delight, however, she had both offered him advice and asked him to visit her again to discuss it further.

He was quite certain the woman was an angel, and that angel liked him.

Why else would she be so willing to waste her time on someone like him? A man who, for almost his entire life, had been shunned and ignored and looked down upon. But here was a beautiful woman- a successful, amazing person who shouldn't even give him a second glance, offering him something he hadn't felt in years, if not ever: kindness.

That's why, when she asked him to look up topics and make a list, he had spent his entire night doing just that, and even though he hadn't gotten any sleep in a little over 27 hours, he was feeling quite energetic.

He was going to meet with her again.

Putting on his best clothes, brown slacks and a brown checkered blazer, he made his way towards campus with only one thing on his mind: Regina Mills.

* * *

 

Regina Mills only owned two types of shoes: heels, and trainers. She hadn't realized how problematic her twisted ankle was until this moment, as she stood in her walk-in closet and looked for something appropriate to wear.

"How bad could it possibly be?" she said aloud as she slipped her feet into one of her many pairs of heels. She soon discovered the answer to that question in the form of white-hot pain overwhelming her senses and causing her to almost fall flat on her face.

"Fine," she muttered, clearly not thrilled with the outcome of her little experiment. If she couldn't wear her heels, she only had one other option. Trainers. To college.

The next couple of days were surely going to be hell.

Finding clothes that went well with trainers was virtually impossible; most of her gym clothes consisted of leggings that came up to her knees or shorts that barely covered half her thighs. Thankfully, after rummaging through an old pile that she hadn't touched in years, she was finally able to locate a pair of black, elastic-cuffed sweatpants with two white streaks coming down each side. If she was going to be forced to wear trainers to college, she'd at least try to look presentable while doing it.

An hour later, she took one final look at herself in the mirror. Her outfit consisted of a plain, white long-sleeves shirt that was so tight it seemed as though it was painted on her skin, atop slim-fit sweatpants that hugged her legs in the best imaginable manner.

She looked pretty damn good.

Wrapping her ankle tightly with an elastic bandage before slipping on her shoes, she exited her mansion and was pleased to see that, just as Emma had promised, her Benz was waiting for her in the driveway. She wasn't quite sure how it got there, but she made a mental note to ask and thank Emma the next time she saw her.

As she parked the car and made her way towards her office, she was relieved to note that walking didn't prove as difficult as she had anticipated, and couldn't help hope that, perhaps her recovery would occur quicker than the blonde had predicted. For now, though, she tried to focus on getting through the day and following Emma's advice to keep her leg elevated and to keep any pressure applied to her left foot to a minimum.

* * *

 

"So, wait, let me get this straight," Ruby said for the fifth time, still trying to wrap her head around what her new friend just told her. "You're telling me you've been dating someone for a couple of months now, but you can't tell me her name, what she does, and how you met?"

Emma ran her fingers through her blonde curls and shrugged, "I guess? Listen, it's not that I don't trust you..."

Ruby scoffed at that, trying to act playful but sounding a little offended. "Oh, really?"

"Yeah, really. Because I do trust you." And she really did, even though she couldn't quite understand why. She always had trust issues in the past, and sometimes she'd know someone for years and still not feel comfortable around them, but things with Ruby were different. She knew her almost as long as she knew Regina, and she could honestly say that the thought of talking to her about herself openly and freely did not freak her out as much as usual.

But this secret, for lack of a better word, was not her secret alone, and although she trusted Ruby enough to know she wouldn't tell anyone, she knew Regina would probably not appreciate her disclosing such information. Or maybe she wouldn't mind, but the least she could do is ask her first.

"Then why can't you just tell me?" Ruby asked, no longer interested in gossip and simply concerned for her friend. She cared for Emma and believed she deserved better than a girlfriend who was forcing her to keep their relationship secret.

"It's complicated," she knew the redhead merited a better explanation, but right now she was unable to provide it.

Ruby was about to object, but stopped herself, realizing that pushing the blonde wasn't going to accomplish anything. She sighed, "Are you happy, at least?"

She smiled, an image of Regina instantly popping up with sleep-mussed hair and clad in nothing but that borrowed t-shirt from this morning, "I honestly am. I haven't been this happy in a really long time."

"Okay, cool. Then I'm totally happy for you," she finally said, patting Emma's back. "I just wish I could meet her. She needs to be subjected to The Lucas Evaluation."

"The Lucas Evaluation? What the hell is that?"

Ruby giggled, her eyes glittering with mischief. "It's just something that helps me determine if a person is the right fit."

Emma was intrigued. "Based on what, exactly?"

"Stuff," she informed her, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Stuff?"

"Stuff."

"Remind me again why I'm friends with you?" Emma asked, furrowing her brow in attempts to look serious.

It only made Ruby release a loud, bold laugh, effectively turning heads as they walked through the hallway towards their classes. "'Cause I'm awesome, duh!"

"Yeah, yeah. Whatever."

* * *

 

Emma had told Regina not to wear heels, but she wasn't entirely sure that her professor would actually listen to her. Likewise, she didn't know what to expect if she  _didn't_  wear heels; she had only ever seen her in dresses and skirts outside of the gym, so she couldn't even begin to imagine her wearing anything else. That's why, seeing Regina's attire for the day as she entered the lecture hall was somewhat of a shock—a very attractive shock.

Of course, she didn't quite understand why she was so taken by the brunette. She had seen her in clothes that were much more revealing during their workout sessions, but right now, covered in simple black and white, paired with dark eye shadow and mascara—Emma became completely convinced that Regina could make  _anything_  look like it was the most attractive thing in the world.

Regina was trying not to laugh when the hall went utterly silent as she walked in; her presence normally was commanding, but she assumed the immediate change of atmosphere was due to her clothing. She wondered if her students realized how absolutely absurd they all looked from where she stood—she could clearly see all of them and now, as she scanned their faces, was met with countless facial expressions varying from sheer shock to outright arousal.

But, really, the only face that mattered to her was sitting right ahead, her green eyes a shade darker than usual, roaming her body unabashedly. Regina was so absorbed in Emma's watchful gaze that she was completely unaware of the similar look she had warranted from another student.

She arched an eyebrow and smirked at the blonde, as if to say  _'see something you like?'_ once again, then finally redirected her attention towards the rest of the class and cleared her throat. "Good afternoon, everyone. Shall we begin?"

* * *

 

Regina was too busy reading something on her desk to notice a figure hovering over her.

"Hello, beautiful," a soft murmur demanded her attention, and the resulting smile was almost immediate.

"Miss Swan," she greeted.

Emma shook her head at the term, but still grinned. "How's your ankle?"

She stood up and walked over to the blonde, then leaned on the desk right next to her before finally saying, "It still hurts a little."

Her student lowered her lips to her ear before whispering, "Want me to kiss it better?" and emphasized her statement by dropping an open-mouthed kiss on her neck.

Regina was about to respond when a knock on the door made the two jump, causing her to grimace at the pain the sudden movement elicited.

It was Sidney Glass.

"I hope I'm not interrupting, Professor," he said casually as he walked into class, his face blank.

It took Regina several moments to answer, her mind racing in horror at the possibility of being caught with Emma. "Mr. Glass," she eventually muttered, trying her best to sound impassive. "Not at all, Miss Swan was just about to leave." She refrained from looking directly at the blonde, but could still see in her peripheral vision that Emma was confused and slightly upset.

"Yeah, I was," Emma said through gritted teeth. "Thanks for your help, Professor."

A nod was the only gesture used to acknowledge her gratitude.

"How may I help you, Mr. Glass?" she asked, trying desperately to not abandon all reason and run after Emma's retreating back.

Sidney smiled then, happy to have his professor all to himself. "I have that list of thesis topics you asked for." He rummaged through his folder and pulled it out as proof, then continued, "I was hoping maybe we could discuss it?"

"Oh." Regina had almost completely forgotten about her meeting with him. "That's wonderful news!" she exclaimed, trying her best to sound involved.

Oblivious to anything other than his professor's kind words, Sidney's smile only widened. "Thank you, Professor. I have to admit, I was up all night trying to create it."

Regina knit her eyebrows, somewhat stunned by his statement. "You didn't sleep? I hope you didn't feel pressured to do so on my account. I wanted you to work on the list but you were welcome to take your time."

Was she genuinely concerned for his well-being? Perhaps he was a novice when it came to affection, but he was certain his professor cared enough about whether he slept or not. He felt his heart swell at the idea. "No, no. I didn't feel pressured at all. I was just so excited about finally choosing a topic that I couldn't sleep."

"Ah, I see," Regina admired his dedication. "Well, then. I suppose I'll see you in my office at 4pm?"

"I'll see you then, Professor."

After he left, Regina went back to her seat and sank into it, releasing a breath she had unconsciously been holding ever since he walked in. Surely, if he had seen anything, he would have mentioned it? Hinted at it, at least? But his face had been blank, showing no emotion. No shock, or outrage, or disgust.

She shook her head once, hoping the motion would help clear her mind. She was probably overthinking the situation. Emma and she had moved apart as soon as they heard the knock, so he probably didn't catch them. Still, they had to be more careful in the future. They may have been lucky this time, but that may not always be the case. They were safe for now, at least.

Right?

* * *

 

Sidney tried really hard to push down the aggressive feelings of jealousy and possessiveness he had experienced upon seeing that blonde woman so close to his professor. The last time those two were together, he had overheard part of their conversation, and at the time, didn't think much of it. But he soon realized that, for a student and a professor, they were being excessively friendly. Professor Mills was kind to him, and helpful, but she was never as informal as she had been with Miss Swan.

He took a deep breath, willing his chaotic mind to rest. He was beginning to become obsessive, and he needed to control his emotions. For now, he redirected his focus onto the meeting he was about to have with his professor; that's the only thing that mattered to him at the moment.

Sidney knocked three times and waited for permission to enter.

"One moment, please," a soft voice called out. Some shuffling and rustling later, "you may come in."

He entered, his face instantly lighting up at seeing his professor once again. "Professor Mills."

"Mr. Glass," Regina answered with a polite smile of her own. "Please, take a seat."

He unbuttoned his blazer before sitting on one of the leather chairs facing her. He quickly opened his folder and pulled out a piece of paper and handed it to her. "My list."

"Excellent," reaching over, her fingers brushed his hand as she took the paper from him. "Let's have a look, shall we?"

Sidney barely registered her words, his entire attention focused on that tingling patch of skin on his hand that had just been touched by his professor. He only nodded, finding it difficult to speak.

"Mr. Glass, you have quite the list here," she said, looking up. "Tell me, after researching these topics, did you find one that you felt was the perfect match for you?"

"Well, I feel quite strongly about topic number ten."

" _Parentally bereaved children, and how such circumstances affect them throughout their lives_ ," she read aloud. "Is it because…" she faltered, uncertain if it would be wise to continue.

Sidney didn't notice it, and simply explained, "I just feel I could contribute a lot to it from personal experience and such. As you may know, I lost my parents when I was a little boy, nine years of age, so I'm quite certain I could be passionate and successful at writing a thesis based on it." And, for the first time in his life, he was not met with a look of sympathy. His professor looked…impressed.

Regina tried her best not to show him that she felt sorry him; she didn't want to offend him and she didn't think he was seeking her pity. So, instead, she tried not to look rattled by his statement and settled for giving him her honest opinion. "I think that's a great idea, Mr. Glass. There's a great deal you could do with this topic…so much you can explore. Is there a specific aspect you wish to expand upon? Or do you seek to adopt a more general approach?"

Sidney tried not to blush under his professor's gaze. "Actually, I was mostly interested in talking about the psychopathological aspect of it—how growing up without parents could lead to mental illnesses or the manifestation of certain behaviors that may be symptomatic of psychological impairment."

Regina really  _was_  impressed now, finding her student's train of thought highly intriguing. "Very clever."

He squirmed at the compliment, but smiled nonetheless, not able to hide how pleased he was. "Thank you, Professor Mills."

Nodding, she continued, "Then I suppose you finally know what your thesis will be on."

"It's all thanks to you, Professor."

"Nonsense," she quickly responded. "This was all you, Mr. Glass."

His heart was beating so fast and loud he feared his professor would hear it. He wondered how he must seem to her; he was pretty sure his face was a shade darker now because of how deeply it was flushed, and he was fidgeting in his seat, feeling uncomfortably hot. "Uh…thank you, pro-professor, I really- really do appreciate it…"

There was that gorgeous smile again—he was quite certain his heart was about to implode. "I'm only glad I could be of help to you, Mr. Glass."

"Professor Mills, I know it might be troublesome, but would you mind assisting me again if I have any other questions in the future?" he asked as he stood up, clearly reluctant to leave.

Regina stood up too, not wanting to seem rude even with her aching ankle. "It wouldn't bother me at all. The subject of your thesis is not really my area of expertise. However, I would love to assist you any way I can."

Sidney was having the best day of his life. "Thank you!" And with that, he retrieved the piece of paper and put it back into his folder, then finally made his way out of the office.

* * *

 

It took Regina a little over two hours to find the courage to finally call the blonde. "Emma," she said, her voice slightly wavering.

" _Regina, hi,"_ came the reply, and Regina was surprised to hear concern rather than the anger she had foreseen.  _"Is everything okay?"_ She didn't notice how long she had been silent for until Emma called her name again.  _"Regina, you there?"_

"Yes, yes. I'm here, everything's fine," she let out a shaky breath. Perhaps she really was overthinking it. "I just wanted to apologize about earlier."

The voice on the other end went quiet for a second, then replied teasingly,  _"oh, you mean how you dismissed me after that dude nearly caught us?"_

Regina grimaced, missing the playfulness in Emma's tone. "I'm so sorry, Emma. I didn't mean to dismiss you like that. I just panicked when Mr. Glass came in, and, afraid he had seen me with you, I reacted rashly," she said in one swift go, not wanting to stop in fear of letting her nerves get the best of her.

Emma only just realized how distressed the older woman really was.  _"Regina, baby, relax,"_  she commanded, softly.  _"I wasn't actually upset about it."_

_Baby?_ That was the first time Emma had called her that, and Regina was very grateful that the blonde could not see the stupid grin on her face. "You weren't?"

" _No. I mean, I was, when it happened, but then I thought about it after I left and you had every right to react the way you did."_

Regina was thoroughly confused now. She expected a very angry, very hurt Emma Swan—she didn't expect an understanding one. She supposed she should be accustomed to the younger woman's constant surprises. "I did?" was all she could muster, still trying to wrap her mind around the situation.

Emma chuckled,  _"Yes, you did. When we started dating, we agreed to be careful about how we acted around people, especially on campus."_  She paused, then continued, her voice a little lower now,  _"you just keep making it so difficult for me to control myself."_

She smirked, her previous worries long forgotten. "Oh, really? And how, exactly, am I making it so difficult?"

" _Just by being yourself,"_  the blonde answered simply.

Regina wondered how Emma seemed to say the right thing, every single time. She found it quite ridiculous how such a simple statement, uttered in that voice, could make every tissue in her body ache for the younger woman. "Emma."

" _Hmm?"_

"I think I'd like you to kiss it better now," she informed her student, recalling her question from earlier.

" _Your ankle?"_

"My everything."


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, sweet, sweet release!

To Regina's delight, it only took a little less than three days for her ankle to fully heal. She was glad she only had to go to work wearing workout clothes and trainers two times, otherwise she was prepared to call in sick, something she had only done twice before, just to avoid being seen.

Really, she was so happy when she had slipped on her red-bottoms that morning and strutted across her bedroom without any pain that she couldn't help the smile that was plastered on her face throughout the day. That smile only grew brighter after receiving a text message from a certain blonde informing her that she would be taking her out on a date to celebrate her recovery.

The absurdity of celebrating something so trivial was not lost on her, but she was more than thrilled to be able to spend some alone time with Emma. It's true, she had seen her all but two days ago, but Regina was starting to become acquainted with the notion that she could never really have enough of Emma.

Another thing she was beginning to acquaint herself with was how  _completely and utterly_   _attracted_  she was to her student. It was bad enough when Emma's attire merely consisted of a tank top and skinnies. Now though, standing at her doorstep, looking extremely classy and sophisticated in a pair of black dress pants with folded cuffs that were clearly tailored to fit her toned legs perfectly, accompanied by a black vest over a fitted white button up shirt that threatened to rip around her biceps, her attraction towards the younger woman skyrocketed.

Emma stared at the older woman, her hands shoved into her pockets and her mouth hanging wide open. Before ringing the bell, she had practiced saying several compliments in her head.  _You look beautiful…that color really suits you…hot damn._ No amount of practice could have prepared her for this sight, though. Regina wore a blood-red dress that accentuated every rise and fall of her figure flawlessly, her long legs covered in black stockings and ending with shiny black stilettos.

Emma could never fathom how something as simple as a dress and heels could make her brain short-circuit so easily, but she soon realized that it was never only the clothes that had such an effect on her, it was the brunette herself. Everything about her, from her deep brown eyes, to her red luscious lips, to her slender body. Regina made Emma's heart stop and beat faster all at once.

It was only after she blinked three times and saw the smug smirk on Regina's face did she realize that she had been staring, jaw slacken, for quite some time. "Regina, you look…" she trailed, awe-struck.

Regina's smirk only widened, her eyes roaming over her student's form before finally saying, "You don't look so bad yourself."

Returning the smirk and regaining her confidence, Emma took a hand out of her pocket and held it out for Regina to take, and then, their fingers intertwining together like they were meant to be, she led her to her car and opened the door to let her in.

As she pulled out of the driveway, Emma tried to concentrate on the road ahead, but the way Regina's thumb was softly stroking her palm was making it exceedingly difficult.

"So, where are you taking me?" the brunette asked, seemingly oblivious to the effect her ministrations had on the younger woman.

"Well," she said, her mind momentarily distracted from Regina's touch. "I wanted our date to be private, so I thought, what better place than my place?"

"Wait, are you saying you cooked dinner?" Regina sounded a little too surprised.

Emma chuckled, not really taking offence by her companion's shock. "No, I'd like us to actually  _eat_ dinner tonight. Just wait and see."

Regina wasn't always a big fan of surprises, but she felt she was prepared to make an exception in this case. "Alright."

* * *

 

The drive was short, and twenty-five minutes later, hand in hand, Emma was leading the way to her loft. She barely had time to shut the door before she was suddenly shoved against it, both of her hands pinned down by her sides. It took her a few seconds to realize what was happening, and as the brunette leaned in, her eyes now completely black with a yearning that threatened to ignite everything in its wake, her red lips brushing lightly against Emma's, she whispered "I don't think I can wait any longer."

And then they were kissing. Nothing about it was soft or slow—all the pent up sexual tension between the two burst into fireworks around them as lips, teeth and tongues collided and molded into one. Their bodies were pressed so tightly against each other that, to an outsider, it wasn't quite clear where one began and the other ended.

Regina's hands quickly traveled up Emma's arms and dug into her hair, pulling her impossibly closer. Her stilettos gave her the height advantage, and soon, her thigh was trapped between Emma's legs, pushing upwards. The blonde's moan echoed against the walls of Regina's mouth, and Emma tried desperately to remain upright and conscious despite having every cell in her body overheat with every lick, every touch.

The two were so engrossed in one another's… _everything_ , that they didn't hear the low rustling coming from the kitchen. In fact, they wouldn't have noticed it at all if the cause of that rustling hadn't cleared his throat.

Regina jumped and backed away instantly, a look of utter panic masking her features. She looked at the source, an Asian man dressed as a chef, then back at Emma who was now straightening up and looking extremely frustrated, but not quite surprised.

The man smiled knowingly at the pair, his eyes glinting with mirth. "I'm so sorry to interrupt, ladies."

Emma sighed but returned the smile, then walked over to Regina and placed a reassuring hand on the small of her back. "Regina, this is my good friend Akio," she motioned to the man, then continued, "Akio, this is Regina."

Akio was immediately taking the brunette's hand and shaking it. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you; Emma  _would not_  stop talking about you," he said, shooting Emma a mischievous smirk.

"Shut. Up," she punched him and glared, clearly not pleased. "You're not supposed to tell her that. Idiot."

Regina finally relaxed after seeing the exchange, and managed to give the stranger a polite smile. "It's nice to meet you, Akio."

Letting her hand go, Akio quickly hugged Emma then said, still looking at Regina, "I'm sorry if I startled you. I just heard someone come in and I wanted to make sure it was you guys."

Emma looked apologetically at Regina, regretting her plan for the evening after that short but heated make-out session they just had. "Akio was kind enough to cook us a traditional Japanese dinner," she explained, hoping the older woman wouldn't be so mad after that.

A snort from her friend made her look at him quizzically. " _'Akio was kind enough'_? You freaking threatened to not be my best man if I didn't do it."

Emma's face turned crimson, and only deepened when the woman beside her laughed softly. "You threatened him?" she wondered with a raised eyebrow, greatly amused by the whole situation, her initial panic now forgotten.

"I didn't  _threaten_  him, per se," Emma said, ducking her head slightly. "I merely implied I might be busy on his wedding day if he didn't make today work."

Regina continued to laugh, "You're quite terrible, aren't you?"

Akio jumped at the opportunity, nearly shouting, "I know, right?!" excited he might have finally found someone to tease the blonde with. "Absolutely terrible." That warranted him a punch, and he flinched away in pain. "Hey! That hurt!"

"That's the idea of a punch, butthead."

"Did you really just call him a butthead?" Regina was positively ecstatic at seeing this playful side of the blonde, a side she had only had glimpses of.

"That's not even the worst of it," Akio quickly cut in, feeling unusually courageous due to Regina's presence.

"Akio!" Emma exclaimed, scowling at him, not amused in the slightest. "I'm not paying you to smear my reputation in front of my girlfriend!" Regina gasped, her cheeks flushing deeply at the term. Although they had been dating for a while, this was her first time hearing it from the blonde.

She quite liked how it sounded.

The other two didn't seem to notice it, though, and continued bickering like children. "That's the thing, though," Akio retorted, not missing a beat. "You're not actually  _paying_  me."

Emma's eyes widened, realizing that she, in fact, wasn't paying him. That was a slip on her part. "Oh, right."

Akio only laughed, lightly swatting her arm. "Relax, I'm only teasing. I'm the one who declined your offer to begin with," he reasoned. "Now, who's hungry?"

* * *

 

After setting everything on the table, Emma hugged Akio one more time before thanking him and showing him out.

They sat in comfortable silence for a few moments, each trying the variety of sushi, Tempura and Sukiyaki that Akio had prepared.

"This is delicious," Regina broke the silence, momentarily putting down her chopsticks to wipe her mouth with a napkin. "Your friend is quite talented."

Emma chuckled, her mouth full with a large piece of sushi. She quickly swallowed before answering, "don't let him hear you say that. He's already a smug bastard. It all started when his parents decided to call him Akio, which translates to 'glorious hero'." At that very moment, her phone chimed, signaling a new message. She was about to silence it when she noticed the sender. "Oh, speak of the devil." As she swiped her screen to view the text, a small smile crept to her lips, and she shook her head.

Regina did not want to pry, but she was curious. "What did he say?"

"Well," the blonde laughed. "He said that, he's not quite sure how someone like you ended up with someone like me, but that I should fully take advantage of your lapse in judgment."

The brunette laughed, liking the chef more and more, "At least he's a clever smug bastard."

"Heyyy," Emma said, her foot lightly kicking Regina's under the table. "Are you agreeing with him?"

Regina leaned in, both her elbows resting on the table, "maybe," she whispered, her heel clad foot slowly going up and down Emma's calf. "But I am certainly not complaining."

Emma suddenly stood up, almost knocking her chair backwards, and gazed at the woman before her. She didn't speak, only stared.

"What is it?" Regina asked, concerned she might have said or done something to upset the blonde.

"Are you done eating?" was all she got in return.

"Yes."

Emma walked around the table to her side and held out a hand just like she had done earlier that evening.

Her brow furrowed, clearly confused and not following Emma's train of thought. "Where are we going?"

"To my bedroom," and all but yanked the brunette to her feet, their fingers intertwining once more. The blonde leaned in, her free hand cupping Regina's cheek, and kissed her. This time, it was soft and chaste and full of emotion, enough to communicate a promise to the brunette, a promise that Emma had been ready to fulfill for weeks. "No more interruptions," she mumbled against her full lips, then slowly led her up the stairs and towards her bedroom.

_No more interruptions._

They had been in a similar situation many times before, but every time, almost as though the universe was playing a cosmic joke on them, something would come up. Every time, someone would get in their way. That's why those three little words, now playing and replaying in Regina's mind in an endless loop, seemed almost surreal to her.

_No more interruptions._

Every  _click-click-click_  going up the stairs served as proof that, whatever was happening, and whatever was about to happen, was, in fact, real. She was here. Emma was definitely here, too. The two had begun a slow ascent to the room, but by the time they reached the top, the wait was almost unbearable.

Regina's eyes had turned so dark they resembled black holes, and now, as Emma’s emerald eyes gazed into them, she did not try to resist the urge to be swallowed whole. This was it. The crescendo of teasing words and bold hands, of  _almost_  kiss-swollen lips, of being close yet not close enough—the instant attraction they had felt during their first meeting like a slow streamed-river finally evolving into an earth-shattering waterfall, paralyzing and deafening.

In this moment, only they existed.

Emma wasted no time reaching around the brunette and unzipping her dress. She stood back and stared, once again awe-struck, as the dress slipped down Regina's slender body. Emma had to place a hand on the wall to her left to support herself, the image of Regina in stockings and suspenders and black lace threatening to turn her entire body into a messy puddle of heat and want. Her voice trembled as she let out an almost inaudible whisper, "Regina…you are…"

Regina sucked in a breath as she looked up to see Emma's eyes lingering over every inch of her skin, then, pausing at a collarbone, her gaze was replaced with soft fingers. Her fingertips began their journey, caressing and pressing, almost reverently, over each breast, then down the valley between them leading to Regina's soft but toned stomach, every stroke like a paintbrush leaving a trail of hot desire in its wake. Emma's eyes were still roaming, ever so slowly, as though she were desperately trying to commit every detail of Regina to memory. She finally opened her mouth then, recalling her unfinished sentence, "You are everything I never thought I'd deserve."

As soon as the words fell from Emma's lips, Regina's heart almost burst right then and there. Seeing and hearing the usually confident and tough blonde look and sound so…vulnerable, so absolutely genuine, made Regina's head swim. She grabbed Emma by the collar of her shirt, the small yet seemingly infinite distance between them no longer bearable, and pulled the blonde towards her, their lips molding once again. The kiss was rough and wet and desperate, communicating the lack of patience they both had.

Regina's hands dropped to Emma's front, the collar she had latched onto now completely crumpled under her tight grip, and swiftly unbuttoned the younger woman's vest. Soon it was thrown somewhere behind them, and Regina's hands were now pulling the shirt up to release it from the pants' hold, her fingers trying frantically to work the smaller buttons of Emma's white shirt.

Emma's hands joined hers in attempts to speed up the process, but it was unfruitful. Regina, desperate to finally feel the blonde's bare skin against hers, swatted Emma's hands away and forcefully, with one strong pull, ripped her shirt open, buttons flying and scattering around them.

Emma let out a loud groan and, upon witnessing the brunette's desire-driven actions, she placed a hand behind her neck and pulled her roughly against her, her teeth biting down on Regina's bottom lip and tugging on it, then, realizing they were still in the hallway outside her room, decided it was high time for a bed.

She crouched slightly and wrapped a hand under each of Regina's thighs, squeezing and lifting her up effortlessly. Regina's breath slammed against her lungs with the motion, her now soaked panties pressed flush against Emma's hard abs, her arms and legs instinctively wrapping around Emma's neck and waist. Emma felt a heel dig into her back, but the pain, if anything, only fueled her own lust.

Emma's hands grabbed Regina's ass to support her and started making her way towards her room, their lips never parting. Finally reaching the bed, Emma began to slowly lower the woman wrapped around her like a blanket, a hand releasing its grip to travel upwards and steady her back.

Regina sat upright on her knees and removed her stilettos, and watched as Emma slowly pulled her sports bra over her head, revealing small but perky breasts. Regina's sex only throbbed more at the sight, and, deciding she couldn't possibly wait any longer to see the blonde before her completely naked, she lurched forward and unclasped her pants, a hand lowering the zipper while the other slipping teasingly inside.

Emma's head fell backwards, her throat going utterly dry at the first stroke of Regina's delicate fingers. She couldn't help the guttural moan she released upon hearing her professor's next words, "Emma, you're so wet," and immediately grabbed her briefs and pants and yanked them down in one swift motion.

Regina had only imagined how Emma would look like fully bare; she had seen her abs and glimpses of her arms and shoulders, but at this very moment, she realized that nothing could come close to how remarkable her student was in reality. The first time she had visited Emma's house, she had stopped herself from reaching over to touch the blonde's exposed stomach. This time, there was no need to stop. She let her fingertips travel, ever so carefully, from Emma's collarbone, over her breasts then pausing over her well defined abdomen. She was more than pleased to feel the hard muscles ripple under her touch, and she continued her journey downwards, skipping the area Emma needed her most, and traced the muscles of a much toned thigh. In the back of her mind, Regina wondered if Emma's body was sculpted by some deity.

Emma knelt in front of her and kissed her, this time slower and deeper, a hand cupping each cheek. She pushed her onto her back and straddled her, Emma's center very much wet against Regina's stomach. The blonde pulled away slightly, her lips moving to her neck and licking upwards then stopping, just under her ear. She took Regina's lobe into her lips and nibbled, before finally whispering, "Can you feel it?" Her lips once again moved to the crook of Regina's neck and bit down, hard, loving the sounds she was eliciting from the woman under her, then kissed and licked the patch soothingly, before continuing, "Can you feel how ready I am for you?"

Regina's back arched off the bed at the words, and quickly grabbed Emma's face to bring their lips back together. Emma seized this opportunity to unclasp Regina's bra, and before the older woman could notice, her breasts lost the pressure the material had provided. Emma sat back, her breath ragged and quick, and gazed, her mouth slightly agape, at the perfection that was Regina Mills. She always fantasized about groping the woman before her, squeezing and kneading, but now, all she wanted to do was simply touch.

So she did.

Emma brought up a hand and stroked each breast, her touch slow and explorative. Regina's breathing became more rapid with every caress, the blonde's fingertips against hardened nipples enough to cause an eruption of butterflies in her stomach. Emma pinched each nipple, not too hard to elicit pain, then finally grabbed a handful, massaging gently. She couldn't help but smile at how her touch made Regina's entire body shudder with pleasure, the brunette's teeth sinking into her lower lip in attempts to silence the whimpering noises.

Holding Regina's gaze, Emma pushed her backwards onto the bed and leaned in, her lips finally wrapping around a taut nipple. Regina's back arched upwards once again at the first lick of Emma's tongue, and she brought both hands to tangle in blonde tresses before moaning, "More."

The younger woman complied without hesitation, her tongue painting patterns around her nipple before pulling back and letting teeth sink into dark flesh. She nibbled and sucked and kissed, then, recalling the other breast, moved her lips there and began applying the same ministrations.

Regina was so close to the edge she felt pathetic. It's true, she hadn't been intimate with anyone for a while, but she had taken care of herself. She couldn't quite fathom how anyone could make her feel so ready, so quickly. Her panties were so drenched she was positive they were ruined, but she honestly couldn't care less. All she could think of right now was Emma's skilled mouth, and how amazing it would feel on her clit.

As Emma continued ravishing Regina's chest, she quickly came to the conclusion that she'd probably never have enough. It didn't matter that Regina was still slightly covered from the waist down, her panties, suspenders and stockings still fully intact. All she knew was that she was becoming obsessed with the glorious body beneath her, and she was prepared to love every inch of it for the rest of her life.

"Emma," Regina barely let out, half whining, half moaning, her thighs clenching tightly in a desperate attempt to offer herself some form of respite. Emma knew exactly what she needed, but she remained on her chest, her tongue creating a rhythm and alternating against each nipple. " _Emma_ ," she breathed again, nails digging firmly into the blonde's head and pushing downwards, hoping Emma would get the hint already.

Her student, however, refused to budge, and feeling lips widen into a smile against her heated skin and let out a soft chuckle, Regina realized the blonde was deliberately teasing her. "Don't be a tease," she groaned.

Emma looked up and continued to smirk, her eyes gleaming up at brown ones. She then licked a trail from the brunette's breasts up to her collarbone, pausing for a second to bite down and kiss, then continued up a slender neck, and, finally reaching the corner of her mouth, murmured, "Tell me what you want."

Letting out a loud gasp, Regina cupped Emma's face and roughly brought their lips together, immediately parting her lips to allow her student entry. Tongues dueled and danced, and they remained that way for quite some time, until Regina finally mumbled against swollen lips, "I want you inside of me."

"Fuck," Emma groaned out loud, her professor's raspy voice echoing against her lips and traveling straight to her aching core. Her hands quickly moved to the soft thighs below and unfastened the clasps connecting the black lace garters to the matching underwear, and, kissing Regina one last time, made her descent to the only item of clothing left. She leaned forward, placing wet kisses over hipbones, and held Regina's intense gaze as she brought her teeth to the waistband of her panties, and agonizingly slowly, began to slide it down.

Regina's entire body visibly trembled as she watched the woman, barely finding the energy to lift herself up to help the blonde with her task. Emma raised herself to take a good look at the woman beneath, now finally and utterly exposed. She wanted to say something, anything, to let Regina know just how…flawless she was, but her mind went completely blank, and all she could do was simply stare, mesmerized.

Leaning back in, Emma began a series of featherlike kisses on the inside of each thigh, her breathing hot and heavy against Regina's soaked center. The brunette's hips bucked up and she let out a deep whimper, "Emma,  _please_."

Emma would've loved to continue teasing, would've loved to explore further and take her time, but hearing her normally authoritative and commanding professor actually plead for release, and feeling her fingers digging once again into her skull, urging her inside, she realized she couldn't wait any longer.

The first touch of lips against her dripping sex made Regina's hips spring upwards, her head reeling from the gentle yet much needed pressure. Her hands, still very much entangled in blonde hair, pushed roughly, urging her student to go deeper, harder.

Emma obliged, her tongue slipping out and gliding firmly against her opening, causing Regina to cry out in pleasure, her orgasm closer than ever. She continued her ministrations, her tongue drawing patterns and thrusting in as deep as possible. Every lick and plunge was driving the brunette positively mad, and then, when Emma's lips enveloped her pulsating clit and sucked hard, she couldn't stop herself from screaming the blonde's name, her thighs clenching tightly around the woman's head. Riding out her orgasm, Emma only slowed down slightly, drinking in Regina's juices that were now smeared against her lips and dripping down her chin.

She couldn't quite place what the brunette tasted like exactly, but the only word that came to mind was simply  _Regina._ Regina had a distinct taste that was all her and Emma fucking loved it.

Regina finally let go of Emma's hair and unclamped her thighs, her limbs falling limply on the bed. Emma didn't bother wiping her mouth before traveling back up and kissing the brunette deeply, her tongue darting out to lick her bottom lip before biting down. Regina moaned into the kiss, her entire body quaking as she tasted herself on the blonde's lips.

Emma continued to nip and tease, and Regina, feeling a new wave of arousal surge through her and land between her thighs once again, surprised the blonde by placing her hands on her shoulders and wrapping a leg around her waist and, with one swift motion, flipping their positions. Emma's eyes widened almost comically at the brunette's unexpected strength, then turned black with lust.

Straddling a thigh, Regina casually slid down then back up, her sex leaving a wet trail of arousal in its wake. As she did so, she brought up her right hand to Emma's still sticky mouth, her fingers tracing her lower lip, then, ever so slowly, she allowed her tips to travel down her slender neck, over soft breasts, outlining her stomach, and lower still. Emma's chest heaved, finding it increasingly difficult to breathe as her flesh burned under the brunette's explorative touch. Regina's hand paused right under her abdomen, her fingers slipping into soaked curls. Emma writhed beneath her, her own hand traveling down to wrap around Regina's wrist, willing the woman's fingers to go lower. Regina kept her hand anchored there though, then leaned forward and placed her lips on Emma's ear before smirking and whispering seductively, "Emma, I'm going to fuck you now."

Emma almost came at that.

Regina's raspy voice was sex personified and, hearing her swear for the first time ever, Emma felt even closer to the edge.

As soon as those words left Regina's mouth, she thrust two fingers deeply into the blonde, not bothering to be gentle or timid. She alternated between quick thrusts, then slowed down the pace to build her up even more. Her fingers circled and curled, and, witnessing Emma's body nearly jump off the bed as she hit a certain spot, she focused her energy there, her thrusts gaining more vigor.

"Oh, God," Emma groaned deeply, her body quivering uncontrollably with each plunge. Regina didn't need to hear her to realize the blonde was close, feeling her walls clench slightly around her fingers.

Emma surprised Regina by cupping her dripping center, causing her head to fall back as she released a lusty moan. She let her thumb rub roughly against her clit, causing a new wave of wetness to flood into her open palm.

Regina began riding the blonde's hand and thigh, her fingers still thrusting frantically into her core. The two tried to establish a steady rhythm, each grinding wildly against one another as they both sought climax.

They didn't need words to communicate. Regina added a third digit and pushed inside, her fingers curling upwards into that sweet spot, and almost instantly, she felt the blonde's walls tighten almost painfully around her. Hearing Emma scream her name was enough to send her over the edge, and soon after, they slowed their movements but didn't stop completely, wanting to ride the orgasm out together as long as they could.

The woman above, unable to hold herself anymore, fell on top of Emma, their chest heaving against each other and slightly slippery with sweat.

"Fuck," was all Emma could manage, her voice almost inaudible.

Regina chuckled lightly, her breathing hot against the blonde's neck, then took a patch of skin into her mouth and bit down, hard, before whispering, "Okay, but give me a minute to catch my breath."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise for the delay, everyone. I just really wanted this chapter to be perfect. Thank you again for the comments/kudos, I really do appreciate all of you. 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. It's going to get a little dark after this one.


	11. Chapter 11

Regina woke up shivering. The woman that had been draped around her, her bare body providing her with the best source of warmth, was nowhere to be seen. She stood up and stretched, her slender arms and legs aching from last night's events in the best possible way. Feeling too lazy to actually get dressed, she opted for simply wrapping the bed sheets around herself, then opened the door. Really, she didn't need to cover up at all considering what they did yesterday, where eyes, lips and hands had spent the night memorizing each other.

As she made her way out of the room, her steps were halted by the soft melody of a piano playing. She slowly descended the stairs, making sure her footsteps were as light as humanly possible, not wanting to alert Emma to her presence and in turn cause her to stop playing.

As she got closer, she could hear the music more clearly, and, gazing at Emma, seemingly in a trance, her eyes tightly shut and her blonde tresses dancing to the rhythm of her fingers, Regina wished she could capture this moment forever.

She continued to watch, the piece of music growing more and more tragic every second. Regina was beginning to become entranced herself, but the magic that was beginning to engulf her dispersed as the music ceased.

"Regina," Emma barely whispered, her face a mixture of emotions. "I hope I didn't wake you." Although her emerald eyes were on the brunette, Emma didn't seem to be… _looking_  at her; she was there but not entirely, and even though she meant to go over to her, she found herself frozen at her spot, her hands still resting on the ivory and black keys.

Regina shook her head and smiled genuinely, "Not at all, dear. You play beautifully."

Emma returned the smile, "I'm a little rusty actually. I hadn’t played in a while." She knew this day would come, where she'd have to tell Regina about her last relationship. She had briefly mentioned it, but she tried to disclose as little information as possible, simply stating that it was a 'bad break-up' and nothing more. As much as she dreaded it, though, she found the idea of letting it all go comforting, and Regina played a tremendous role in that.

"Yes, I think you've mentioned that before," Regina nodded, recalling how Emma's entire demeanor changed when the topic was brought up. "But if that's what you play like when you're rusty, I'd love to hear you play after some practice."

The blonde didn't really respond to the compliment, her fingers absentmindedly tracing patterns on the keys. " _Dark night of the soul_ …that was her favorite piece."

Regina didn't need an explanation, she understood. "Natalie's?" A nod from Emma confirmed her assumption. "Are you ready to talk about her now?"

Standing up from the piano's leather chair, Emma took Regina's hand and led her to the sofa. "It's about time, don't you think?" As they sat, Regina's hand remained in hers, the touch providing both comfort and strength.

"I never wished to ask for more than you were willing to give," Regina admitted softly, her eyes fixed on Emma's.

"This is going to sound absolutely crazy," she chuckled bitterly. "I don't even know where to start."

Squeezing her hand for reassurance, Regina suggested, "How about the very beginning?"

Emma's gaze shifted, unable to maintain eye-contact as she began talking about one of her most painful memories.

* * *

 

**' _Finally!' she exclaimed._**

**' _Excuse me?' Emma asked, not quite sure if the stranger was addressing her or someone else._**

**_The stranger smiled, a gesture that made her greyish-blue eyes sparkle. 'You're the first person I’ve met that likes bear claws.'_ **

**' _Oh,' Emma returned the smile. 'Yeah, they're my favorite.'_**

**' _Mine, too,' the stranger lifted a hand, clearly not ready to end the conversation. 'I'm Natalie, by the way.'_**

**_Taking her hand, Emma replied, 'I'm Emma. Nice to meet you.'_ **

"It sounds kinda silly, but it all started with a bear claw," Emma continued, their first meeting still very much clear in her mind. "I wasn't really interested in her, but she had other plans."

Regina wanted to reassure Emma that she was here, and that she was listening. Intertwining their fingers together, she simply nodded, urging her to go on.

"We were just friends; I wasn't interested in a relationship because that was just how I was. Relationships made it hard to pick up and leave, and after being in the system, that was the kind of lifestyle I was accustomed to. That was what made me comfortable."

"But Natalie soon changed that," she paused to take a breath.  _It's too late to back down now._ "As much as we were alike, we were also so…different. Everything that I went through, jumping from one home to another, never really finding a place where I belonged…it left me guarded and bitter. I felt cheated."

Emma smiled, but Regina found it to be the saddest smile she had ever seen. "Natalie, though… She was the exact opposite. She was open and happy, and so full of life. Before I knew it, I was falling for her."

"Being around her, in her presence, it was addictive. Every encounter left me wanting more, and I soon realized that this wasn't going to be a fling, or something purely sexual; I genuinely liked this woman and found myself trusting her easily."

Shaking her head, all the regret she had felt now rushing back. "Everything was perfect, but I should've known that it was too good to be true."

"What happened?" Regina wondered, no longer able to remain silent.

She let out a deep sigh, "Natalie wasn't who she said she was."

' ** _This is the FBI! Open up!' A deep voice filtered into the apartment. Emma, only half awake, checked the clock and found it to be 4 in the morning._** _Who the fuck was banging on my door so early in the morning? Did they just say FBI?_

' ** _You have ten seconds to open up before we let ourselves in!'_**

**_Emma looked to her side, her girlfriend still very much asleep. How Natalie could sleep through all of this was beyond her. She finally got up and called, 'one second!' before quickly putting some clothes on and running towards the door._ **

**_As she opened the door, she was greeted by a tall man in a black suit, and right to his side, two more men in uniforms and guns in their hands. It took her a moment to process it all, but she eventually spoke, 'Can I help you?'_ **

' ** _My name is Agent Simmons and I'm with the Federal Bureau of Investigation. We have reason to believe that a known criminal is being harbored on these premises.'_**

**_Emma hoped this was just a sick prank, or just a really stupid dream. 'Hate to break it to you, dude, but there are no criminals here. It's just me and my girlfriend.'_ **

**_The man didn't falter, though. 'Ma'am, we request that you allow us to search your apartment.'_ **

' ** _Emma,' Natalie called as she walked over. 'Is everything alright?'_**

' ** _Yeah, baby,' she turned around to reassure her. 'There's just been a misunder-' but she didn't get to finish her sentence before the man in the suit shouted 'That's her, boys! Get her!'_**

"Wait," Regina said, still trying to wrap her head around it. "What…?"

Emma chuckled lightly, "Yeah, that was my reaction too." She ran a hand through her hair, everything was rushing back now and Emma cursed herself for allowing it to get to her. It was a long time ago and she should be over it by now. "Turns out, Natalie Thorne was actually Alexandra Anisov, one of the most infamous con-artists out there."

"Emma," Regina whispered, completely speechless.

"You know," she began, her voice barely audible. "I'm still not sure if it was all a lie or not. Sometimes I think that's the worst part. She swore it was all real, that she really did love me. She said that Natalie Thorne was her chance at a new start, a clean slate. But how can I believe a word she says?"

"I can't even begin to imagine how that must have felt." Regina was still trying to process the entire thing, not believing how someone could be so deceiving.

Sighing, she admitted, "I was broken, for a long time-" Emma's words came to a halt, her pained expression turning into a blank stare. "She was killed."

Regina's mouth fell open, the ability to formulate words momentarily forgotten.

"She had made enemies. Her line of work involved screwing a lot of people over. She didn't stand a chance." At this point, Emma felt and sounded utterly numb, as though she was too exhausted to show any more emotion.

"I convinced myself that I'd never fall in love ever again; the pain I went through…I didn't think I could survive going through it again. The only reason I did pull through was because of Akio. He's probably the only one that didn't mind dealing with my shit, and I'm thankful for him every day."

Regina nodded, making a mental note to thank Akio the next time she sees him for taking care of Emma.

"But then you came along, and you changed everything."

"I did?" she asked, genuinely stunned by the blonde's statement.

"Yeah," Emma leaned in and kissed her, the action speaking louder than words. "I meant what I said last night, Regina. You're everything I never thought I'd deserve."

She kissed her back fervently, her heart swelling with something she hadn't felt in years. "That's the thing, Emma," she murmured against pink lips. "You deserve so much more. You are the kindest, most sincere person I have ever had the pleasure of meeting, and I feel so very blessed."

"Regina, I…" Emma trailed, not really sure how to say this. Everything seemed to be happening so fast, but at this very moment, kissing Regina, it simply felt… _right_. "I've read a lot of poetry in my life…the kind of love poets always talked about seemed so…surreal to me. Poems that talked about a love that lasted forever, a love that could withstand anything."

"It just didn't exist, you know? I was even more certain after what happened with Natalie," Emma continued as she rested her forehead on Regina's. "I thought she was my one shot at love and I blew it. But you, like it was the easiest thing to do, shattered all the walls I had built to protect myself and changed how I viewed everything."

Regina was trying desperately to keep her tears at bay now, her body slightly trembling and her breath shaky.

"Regina, you're my once in a life time- you're my Annabel Lee, and I love you."

Regina forgot how to speak, and instead surged forward and kissed her with every fiber of her being. The moment seemed to stretch on for eternity, and finally finding her voice, she declared, "I love you too, Emma. My heart is yours."

Emma gave her the widest and brightest smile she could muster, "And mine is yours." Wiping away Regina's tears gently, she stood up and held out her hand.

"Where to?"

When Regina followed, Emma pulled her closer by the sheets draped around her then released them, letting them fall to her feet and exposing her completely. She picked Regina up effortlessly and wrapped her legs around her waist. "I already told you how I feel about you," she mumbled before kissing her deeply. "Now, I'm going to show you," and slowly made her way towards the stairs.

* * *

 

A knock on her office door made Regina jump. "Yes?"

The door creaked open slowly, and a familiar face revealed itself through the crack. "Professor, it's Sidney Glass. May I come in?"

Regina was getting ready to finally leave and she wasn't entirely pleased to see him. She put on her most civil smile, though, and replied, "Mr. Glass, I wasn't expecting you. Do come in."

"I was wondering if I could have a word?" he offered her a wide grin in return.

She sighed. She didn't realize she was getting frustrated by this student until a minute ago. He was almost too polite and more than a little clingy. "Please," she replied, motioning with her hand for him to take a seat.

The man, his entire attention focused on his beautiful professor, was completely oblivious to her minor change in behavior. Or, perhaps, Regina was just  _that_  good at maintaining her manners. "I think you'd be pleased to know that I've started working on my thesis, and it's going quite well so far."

"That's wonderful news, Mr. Glass," she smiled, and despite her slight irritation, she was happy for him. "I'm proud of you."

His cheeks flushed a deep shade, and, for a moment, he forgot how to breathe.  _She's proud of you, Sidney._ "Thank you, Professor."

Regina didn't bother responding to his gratitude and instead asked, "Would that be all, Mr. Glass?"

"Actually, there was one more thing," a shy smile emerged and he fidgeted in his seat, clearly nervous. "I was hoping you'd be my advisor."

She chuckled lightly, "Haven't I been advising you all this time?"

He laughed, his black eyes glinting, "I meant, my official advisor."

"Ah," she let out, running a hand through her perfectly coiffed hair. She was already doing what an 'official advisor' would do, so it wouldn't really hurt, would it? "I suppose I wouldn't mind."

"Excellent!" he almost screeched, unable to contain his excitement. "I'll make you proud, Professor."

Regina smiled then stood up, hoping the man would get the hint and leave. "I'm sure you will, Mr. Glass."

Thankfully, he did. As he vacated his seat, he stretched out his arm and held his breath as he watched his professor take his hand in hers and shake it once before letting go. The electricity that traveled down his spine upon contact was enough to make his entire body vibrate, and he made a mental note to memorize how his body reacted to her touch.

* * *

 

"Wait a minute," he said for the fifth time. "So you're telling me that possibly the hottest professor at Harvard likes you? Like,  _likes_  you, likes you?"

"James, please refrain from using that word to describe Professor Mills," Sidney warned. Sometimes he wondered how he was friends with this man. He was well-mannered and intelligent, while James, on the other hand, was the exact opposite. "She is so much more than that."

He laughed, the sound deep and loud in the room. "Whoa, man. You're totally whipped," he wrapped an arm around Sidney's neck and pulled him into a headlock, strongly but not so much so as to cause pain.

Sidney groaned, still finding it difficult to fathom James's need to always be so rough even after knowing him for so long. He still chuckled though, grateful to have found a friend like him. After losing his parents, Sidney had had many difficulties with social interactions and communicating with others. James was the only one who was able to look past his social anxiety and, to this day, he remains his only friend. "Don't get too excited, James. She's my professor, after all."

"So what?!" James almost shouted, Sidney's head still very much trapped under his arm. "Bro, you're gonna graduate soon. If she really does like you, then you guys can totally get it on!"

"You really are the most vulgar person I know," he said as he wriggled his head free.

Laughing once more, James patted him on the head before saying, "Sid, I'm like, the only person you know."

Sidney was about to argue, but he knew James was correct. He shoved him away. Or, he at least attempted to do so. Playing football in high school served him well and now, being the team's coach at Harvard, James was as fit as he was back then. "Don't do that," he almost whined. He hated how he felt like a kid around James—he was a 35 year-old man for Christ's sake. "You know how I loathe it."

"I can't help it," but James lowered his hand anyway. "You're so short and it's just so tempting."

He sighed, shaking his head. He wondered if his head would fall off one day because of the sheer amount of times he shook his head around James. "Shut up."

"Yeah, yeah," James let out, his smile only growing wider. "So, what makes you think she likes you?"

Sidney's face suddenly became a shade darker and his skin began to tingle. He looked away quickly, knowing James would only tease him if he saw. "Well, she's really nice to me."

James remained silent for a few moments. He tried not to burst out laughing, aware that, if he did, Sidney would take it to heart and probably never talk to him about his crush ever again. "Uh, is that it…?"

He exhaled, clearly frustrated with James's lack of intelligence. "No. That's not it, James." Of course, James couldn't just  _understand_  him- he always had to explain himself. "She has helped me greatly with my Thesis."

"Isn't that her job, though?" James asked.

"No, it's not!" Sidney almost shouted, his frustration now transforming to anger. "She could've just as easily turned me away when I asked for her help," he said, his voice not as loud but still gruff. "And when I asked her to be my advisor, she didn't hesitate in saying yes."

James held out his hands in defense, a little taken aback by his outburst. "Okay, okay. Just calm down, Sid. I just don't want you thinking there's something when there isn't."

This only antagonized him even further and his face contorted in rage like a mad man. "Are you saying I'm hallucinating?!"

James backed away, a little terrified. He's seen Sidney like this before; after he lost his parents, containing his anger was always difficult. But he hadn't lost it in a really long time, and it seemed like he was just about ready to lose it. "Sid, no. That's not what I meant at all."

"Then what did you mean, James?" Sidney demanded, nose flaring. "What are you trying to imply?" and despite the height difference, his figure was quite intimidating as it loomed over James. "Are you saying that she can't possibly have feelings for someone like me?" He was rambling now, no longer interested in what his so-called friend had to say. "That, because I'm not tall, or muscular, or handsome like you, I don't stand a chance with someone as perfect as her?"

"No! Sidney, that's not what I meant at all! Please," James was pleading, he hated seeing him so upset. "Obviously, she does like you! Otherwise, she wouldn't have done all those nice things to you, right?"

Sidney faltered, his intensifying anger gradually beginning to fade. "Yes, precisely."

"Yeah, man, totally!" James exhaled, grateful the storm had passed. "And you told me that she always smiles at you, right?"

His lips widened into a pleased grin, nodding, "Yes. I've never seen her smile like that at anyone."

"See?" his friend approached him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "That means you're special to her."

"Yes," Sidney continued to nod, his mind being assaulted by various images of his smiling professor. "Yes," he repeated, over and over again.

_I am special to her._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes, he's such a creep


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fluff and smut!

" _Oh my God,"_ Akio screeched as he stared at his reflection in the mirror for the umpteenth time that day. "I look absolutely revolting!" He ran a hand over his face, tears threatening to pool from his eyes.

Emma was trying really, really hard not to laugh. "Akio, dude, calm  _down,_ " she said as she tried to cover her smile. "I promise it's not that bad."

" _Emma!_ " he cried out, turning away from the mirror to face his best man. "It's my wedding day and I have a pimple the size of a golf ball on my face!" She couldn't keep it in any longer, and before Akio could even finish his sentence, she doubled over with laughter. Akio looked horrified. "Emma!"

"I'm…I'm so sorry…Akio, I just…" she tried to say between giggles. "It's really not that bad, you're totally exaggerating." And he really was; in fact, she hadn't seen the pimple until he pointed it out.

Akio was not pleased at all. "Are you serious right now?" It was finally the big day and he wanted everything to be perfect. Yet, here he was, only a few hours away from the wedding, staring at a very big, very obvious pimple on his right cheek. This day was going to be a disaster.

"Akio, would you stop being such a drama queen? I'm sure Killian has seen worse," she half joked. Because, really, him and Killian had been together for a little over two years now, and she was pretty sure a pimple wasn’t going to scare the love of his life away.

Throwing his hands up in frustration and anger, he puffed, "Have you  _seen_  him? He's, like, beauty incarnate! That's it, I'm calling the wedding off."

"You're doing  _what_?" Emma understood his irritation…somewhat. But to call the whole thing off, and for nothing more than a pimple? That was more than a little crazy. "Akio, the wedding is in four hours. Do you know how long you'd have to wait to make another reservation?"

"So?" he was pacing back and forth now, his eyes fixed on the ground mostly to avoid his reflection and his mind all but made up. "We can wait a couple of more days, just until it's gone."

"Dude, you're being ridiculous. It's just a freaking pimple!" Emma was starting to get worried. She knew him well enough to know how stubborn he could get. But all the arrangements were already made and fees were paid—cancelling it would be stupid. "Have you never heard of make-up? I'm sure you have, your fiancé always has eyeliner on. We can use something to try and hide it—no one will notice."

"No amount of make-up can hide the ugliness beneath," he whined.

"Okay, this is getting out of hand." she announced as she pulled out her phone.

Looking confused, he asked, "Who the hell are you calling?"

"I need back-up for this," she simply stated, not bothering to offer any further explanation.

* * *

 

The ringing of a bell signaled the arrival of her back-up. "Ruby, thank you so much for this." It was only after she moved to hug Ruby did she notice Mary-Margaret standing behind her. "MM, hey! I didn't know you were coming."

Mary-Margaret smiled politely, "I hope you don't mind, Emma."

Emma returned the smile and hugged her, "Not at all, I'm glad you did. How have-"

Her sentence was cut off by a very serious-looking Ruby. "There's no time for this, Emma," she pushed her aside and went in, placing her bags on the closest table. "This is an emergency.”

Emma, for the second time that day, was struggling not to abandon all self-control and laugh herself to tears. This whole situation was absolutely absurd, but it seemed like she was the only one feeling that way. "Yeah, totally. Emergency, sure. Akio is hiding in his room. AKIO!" she called, too lazy to walk all the way to his room. "Come out, your savior is here."

A few moments later, he emerged from his room looking very defeated with a hand covering his cheek. "My savior?"

"Akio, this is Ruby. She's going to take care of your make-up," she explained. She hoped Ruby didn't lie about her skills, because Akio was seriously considering postponing the wedding just to avoid being seen with a pimple.

"Ruby, I'm sorry we had to meet under such tragic circumstances. I've heard a lot about you," he said, his left hand moving to cover his cheek so that he could shake her hand.

Ruby gave him her 1000-watt smile. "Don't you worry, Akio. By the time I'm done with you, no one'll be the wiser."

"Oh, and this is Mary-Margaret. She's here to offer me moral support because I can't deal with your drama," Emma continued.

"Offer  _you_  moral support?! You're my best man, Emma! You're supposed to be offering  _me_  moral support!"

"I am! In the form of Ruby, obviously," she reasoned. She knew she wouldn't be of much help to him alone, which is why she asked her friend to help. Emma doesn't have much experience with being a best man, but she figured she was doing a good job for a first-timer.

Akio didn't argue. He knew Emma was doing her best to work things out, and he knew he shouldn't let his anxiety make it seem as though he was ungrateful. "Fine," he finally let out as he sat on the couch. "Just stop mocking me, will you?"

Emma wrapped her arms around him and kissed his cheek. "I know, I'm an ass. I'm sorry. Ruby is going to fix everything," she looked at her friend for reassurance. "Right?"

She unclasped her make-up boxes and knelt in front of Akio. "Hell yeah!"

* * *

 

Knocking on the door of the hotel room, Emma called, "Akio! Are you decent?" but she didn't wait for an answer and shouted "I'm coming in!" before entering. There he stood, once again staring at his reflection. He wore a black tuxedo with a maroon cummerbund, and Emma couldn't help but smile at the sight. "Looking good, buddy."

He turned around, and upon seeing his best friend, smirked, "I kinda hate you right now." Out of all the men and women he knew, no one could pull off a suit like Emma could.

Emma's brow furrowed, "What? Why?"

"Because," he explained, his smile never leaving his lips. "It's not fair that you look better than me at my own wedding." And this time, he really wasn't exaggerating. "I mean, if you were a dude, Killian would definitely fall for you."

"Oh, shut up, you," she walked over and hugged him tightly. "You look way better and you know it. Plus, Killian is totally not my type, so you don't have to worry."

Akio returned the hug, his heart involuntarily racing at the mention of his soon-to-be husband. "It's good he's my type, then." Stepping away and arching a sculpted brow, his smirk only grew wider. "Did Regina see you yet?"

Emma chuckled, knowing exactly where this conversation was going. "No. I wanted to pick her up myself but she insisted she'd meet me here. She said, as your best man, I wasn't allowed to leave your side."

"Smart woman. I have no idea what she sees in you," he said, but he wasn't serious at all. He knew exactly what Regina saw in Emma. A punch to his shoulder was his punishment. "Hey! You're not supposed to hit a man on his wedding day!"

"I've never heard that rule before," Emma retorted, shrugging.

"It's an unspoken rule!" he exclaimed, still rubbing his sure to be bruised shoulder. "Why do you have to be such a dick?"

Wrapping an arm around his shoulder and pulling him closer, she replied, "Why do you have to be such a pussy?"

He fumbled under her tight grip and was finally able to push her away. "Just shut up and help me with my bowtie. I can never get it right."

Turning him to face her fully, Emma raised her hands to his black bowtie and began her task. After a few moments, she spun him around and placed her hands on his shoulders as they looked at their reflection. Emma didn't know why, but she suddenly felt very emotional. She swallowed hard then grinned, "Akio…"

She wasn't sure how to say it, but Akio knew her well enough to understand. "Me, too, Emma," he hugged her again. "Me, too."

The moment was interrupted by a knock on the door. "Oh, that must be Regina," she informed him. "She wanted to see you before the chaos of the wedding."

As she opened the door, Emma wasn't really sure what to expect. She knew, better than anyone, Regina's ability to look good in everything she wore. So, naturally, she should have been prepared for what she was about to see.

She was not.

At this very moment, Emma was certain that Regina was the most beautiful woman she had ever seen. Her dress was divided into two parts: black lace wrapped around her torso and her right shoulder, leaving her left exposed, and deep purple chiffon flowing from her waist and down to the floor. It wasn't until Regina walked in did Emma notice the slit running down her left side, revealing her long, slender leg. Emma's ability to speak was suddenly nowhere to be found.

Regina was having to deal with a very similar situation, because, as much as she prided herself in her self-restraint and ability to keep her emotions in check, the only thing she wanted to do at that very moment was tear Emma's clothes off and take her on the spot.

Emma wore a silver suit with black notch lapels and a matching silver waistcoat, and a slim black tie was visible over a white button-up. The entire outfit was completed with black leather brogues, and Emma's usually messy hair was tied in a bun that was hidden under a silver and black fedora.

Regina was about to speak when Akio interjected, "Are you two going to say something, or are you planning to eye-fuck each other for the rest of the day?"

Regina released a hearty laugh, but Emma was not amused. "Ugh, Akio. Why do you have to be so damn annoying?" Then, finally coming to her senses, she pulled Regina closer by her waist and kissed her passionately, not caring one bit about Akio's presence, before whispering, "Regina, you look absolutely gorgeous."

Returning the kiss with all the love she had, Regina smiled, "You know, I was half hoping I would get to see you in a dress today. But seeing you now," she slowly traced the blonde’s bottom lip with her thumb, forgetting that they had an audience, "I find that I've changed my mind completely."

"Ew," Akio whined, lifting a hand to cover his eyes. "Will you two get a room already? I can't handle this."

Finally recalling her manners, Regina untangled herself from Emma's grip and gave Akio a tight hug, "It's wonderful to see you again, Akio," she said with a genuine smile. "And thank you so much for the invitation."

Akio was surprised at the brunette's embrace. They had only met once before and Regina didn't seem like the kind of person to show affection so easily. He sensed something different about her, and he was determined to find out what it was. "Regina," he grinned, "I'm so glad you could make it."

Emma watched the exchange between the two curiously. She couldn't really explain it, but the way Regina looked at Akio was…different. Her eyes were filled with unspoken words that were threatening to spill over, and Emma was half certain it had something to do with the story she had told her about Natalie not too long ago. Emma's suspicions were confirmed when Regina asked her to give them a moment alone.

"Don't worry, I won't take long," Regina assured her after kissing her lightly on the lips. "I know everyone's waiting downstairs." When the two were finally alone, Regina sat down on the couch and motioned for Akio to join her.

"Is everything alright, Regina?" he asked nervously, unable to stop himself from fidgeting.

Regina's hands mimicked Akio's fidgeting as they lay in her lap, and her eyes were fixed on them to avoid his gaze. She wasn't quite sure why she found it so difficult to voice herself; being speechless was something very new to her and it all began when she met Emma. "I just wanted to personally…thank you, for taking care of Emma."

Akio didn't catch on immediately, "for taking care of her?" It was only after he saw the look in the brunette's eyes did he understand. The conflict of emotions, gratitude, sadness, were quite evident on her face, and Akio wondered what was going through her head. "Oh, she told you."

"Yes," she nodded, her voice no louder than a whisper. She wanted to say so much more, but she was uncertain of how to do so.

Akio's hand reached over to grasp Regina's and squeezed, and as she looked up, she was greeted with a wide smile. "I should be the one thanking you, really," and upon seeing her confusion, he continued, "I don't think I've ever seen her this happy before."

Her face lit up instantly at the statement, and the tension in her body was slowly released. "You really think so?" It was unlike Regina to be so doubtful; she was always the kind of woman to be certain of everything, to be confident no matter the situation- that's how her mother raised her. But with Emma, things were different and she couldn't quite explain why.

"I know so," Akio replied. "Are you really telling me you haven't noticed the effect you have on her?"

She shook her head. "I was probably too preoccupied trying to fathom the effect she had on  _me_." And it was true, because there was a lot she didn't understand about her relationship with Emma. Like how she could've possibly fallen in love so quickly, and how, for some reason, she couldn't imagine being with anyone else for the rest of her life.

Akio chuckled, his dark eyes sparkling at the brunette's genuine answer. He couldn't help feeling relieved, and so utterly overjoyed, that Emma had finally found someone who could love her the way she deserved to be loved. "You know, I didn't think Emma would ever find someone good enough for her. I know she likes to think of herself as somehow undeserving, but I know better."

Regina nodded, "She's too good for me."

"No, Regina," Akio interjected, squeezing her hand once more for reassurance. "What I'm trying to say is, I thought you were lucky to have her. But now, I think both of you are just lucky to have each other."

She gasped, and, not knowing how to respond, she threw her arms around Akio and hugged him tightly. She really needed to stop being such an emotional wreck.

A hard knock on the door made the two jump. "Are you guys done backstabbing me now?" Emma called out jokingly. "Akio, Killian thinks you're getting cold feet."

"Of course not!" he tried to look indignant but he failed when he saw the dorky smile on Emma's face. "Did you see him? How does he look?"

Emma smirked, her eyebrows wiggling suggestively. "All I'm going to say is, make sure you eat as much as you can at the wedding because the only thing you'll want to do later is your husband."

Akio blushed deeply, his entire body aching to be with his lover. "Emma," he mumbled. "I'm getting married."

Wrapping an arm around his shoulder, she pulled him close, "Yeah, buddy. You're getting married."

* * *

 

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here this fine day to join together these men in holy matrimony," said the wedding minister with a kind smile, then motioned for Killian to begin his vows.

Flashing his soon-to-be husband the smirk he knew he loved, Killian spoke, "Akio, I've been with a lot of people, both men and women." He paused, chuckling at Akio's eye-roll and angry huff, then continued, motioning cockily to himself, "No one was able to tame this, but you."

When the laughter died down, Killian went on, "No, but seriously. My love, you keep telling me, and everyone else, that you can't believe I chose you. But, to be completely honest, I am the one still trying to determine how someone as kind, sweet and  _good,_  as you, would choose me. I couldn't have asked for anyone better to spend the rest of my life with. I love you, Akio. Now, and forever."

Emma couldn't help but smile and shake her head in disbelief, trying to figure out how someone as haughty as Killian could come up with something this sweet and genuine. Nonetheless, she was glad because she knew that this man was going to make her best friend incredibly happy.

With the vows exchanged, Emma pulled out two rings, one black and the other silver, then gave them to Akio, and watched, with tears in her eyes, as her best friend bound himself to the man that he loved for the rest of his life.

The whole scene left her with one thought only: she couldn't wait to be in his place, doing the same thing with the woman she loved.

* * *

 

"So," she began as she took off her jacket, "What did you think of Killian?"

"He was a little cocky," Regina admitted. "I suppose he can't help it, looking the way he does. But he seems to really care for Akio, and that's all that matters."

Emma gasped, lifting a hand to her chest as her mouth fell open. "Are you saying you find him attractive, Professor Mills?"

Regina approached her and removed her hat. She then released the bun holding her blonde tresses together and let it fall to her shoulders. "Who, me? Of course not. Someone else had my undivided attention, I'm afraid." Lowering her hands from Emma's hair, she unbuttoned her waistcoat and tossed it aside.

"Oh, yeah?" Emma played along, her body already vibrating with heat. "Who was it?" she moved her hands to Regina's back to unzip her dress, but Regina slapped her hands away.

"I didn't say you could touch," Regina declared as she loosened the black tie. She unbuttoned the top two buttons of Emma's shirt, then paused, before grabbing a fistful and ripping it wide open. As soon as those delicious abs came into view, she felt obliged to trace every contour with her fingertips.

Emma chuckled, forever amused by Regina's many characters. The woman could be soft and delicate and timid and then suddenly transform to rough and wild and desperate. She loved all of it. "Should I start charging you for all the shirts you've destroyed up until now?"

Regina leaned in, her tongue snaking out to tease Emma's earlobe. She bit down and smirked before finally whispering, "You should just start a tab; I have a feeling there will be a lot more ripped shirts in the future."

Unable to keep her hands to herself any longer, Emma cupped a handful of ass and pulled Regina closer to her. Before she could kiss her, though, Regina removed her hands and pushed her away. She held a finger up in warning, "Did I give you permission to touch me yet?"

Emma finally understood where this was going, and although she wanted to rip that dress off and feel every inch of her body more than anything, she found herself intrigued and decided to play along. "No," she whispered, her eyes glinting.

Regina leaned forward and kissed her, deeply and slowly, then murmured against her lips, "Do you trust me?"

To Emma, Regina didn't even need to ask, but she understood why she did, and she loved her all the more for it. Whatever it was Regina had in mind, she wanted Emma to be as comfortable as possible. "Yeah," she kissed her back. "Yeah, I do."

Taking her hand, she led Emma to the bedroom and was relieved to find that the headboard was exactly what she needed. Loosening the tie completely, she set it aside and then pulled Emma's sports bra up and over her head. The blonde remained silent, and watched, as Regina unbuckled her belt and slipped her slacks down her legs. Regina took a step closer to her and turned around, "You may unzip my dress now."

Emma obeyed, taking her time in sliding down the zipper and slipping the lace down her shoulder. She began peppering kisses along the exposed skin, causing Regina to whimper under her touch. When the dress was nothing more than a pile of chiffon and lace on the ground, Regina spun around once more to face Emma. Bending down to grasp the discarded tie, she instructed Emma to move backwards on the bed and lay down. She climbed over her, still clad in her black underwear and heels, then lifted Emma's arms over her head and began tying her wrists to the headboard. Regina made sure it was loose enough not to cause discomfort, but tight enough to make it difficult to escape.

Straddling her waist, Regina leaned in and kissed Emma, letting their lips mold into one as she licked and nipped. "Safe word?" she whispered. She ached for her, but she had to make sure Emma was okay with everything before going on.

Emma shook her head before parting her lips and allowing Regina entry. "I'm fine, I promise."

After hearing those words, Regina welcomed her burning desire and bit down on Emma's bottom lip before beginning her journey down her neck and pausing at her bare chest. As she took a taut nipple into her mouth, she couldn't help the smirk that emerged upon seeing the blonde's back arch upwards into her lips.

Emma didn't realize that being tied up was going to be absolute torture- not until now, that is. Regina's lips were driving her crazy and she couldn't do anything about it. She felt a little pathetic, really; Regina had barely touched her and she was already soaked. "Regina," she moaned.

Regina's smirk only widened as she continued her slow ministrations, ignoring the woman beneath her. Feeling like she had offered the blonde's chest enough of her attention, she moved down her abdomen.

Pulling briefs down toned legs, Regina trailed a hand up and down a hard thigh while tracing random patterns on Emma's stomach with her tongue. Emma's wrists struggled pointlessly against her tie, a thin streak of sweat dripping down her spine and pressing into the mattress beneath.

Emma's entire body quaked as she felt the tips of delicate fingers tease her throbbing center, the pressure there but never enough. "Regina,  _please,_ " she begged raggedly, her skin scalding and her throat going utterly dry. She feared she might implode any moment now.

Regina wanted to take her time, to build Emma up even more, but she could tell that the blonde couldn't wait any longer. With that in mind, she slipped two fingers into her wet folds, causing Emma's back to rise upwards once again. "Fuck, Regina, yes!" was all the encouragement she needed, and, adding a third digit, Regina thrust in and out, her fingers turning, loving the sounds she was eliciting from the woman beneath.

Sensing she was close, Regina pulled her fingers out, and before Emma could protest, deft fingers slammed back in and twisted one final time, causing her to call out Regina's name in a guttural moan as she soared over the edge.

Regina made sure Emma was watching as she eased her coated fingers into her mouth one by one, sucking and licking.

Emma was pretty sure she could come undone by that sight alone.

"Regina," she said, her voice raspy with need. "Could you please untie me now?" She needed to touch the brunette, to feel her skin against hers.

The brunette shook her head, still sucking a finger in her mouth. "I don't think I'm done with you yet."

"Then, you better get over here," she nudged her head. If she couldn't use her hands, then she simply had to improvise.

Furrowing her eyebrows, Regina asked, "Where?"

"Well," Emma reasoned, "If you won't untie me, you're going to have to come to me instead." When Regina didn't move, Emma sighed then explained. "What I mean to say, Professor Mills, is that I'd like you to sit on my face now."

" _Oh_ ," was the only thing the brunette managed to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos are always appreciated!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I would just like to clarify that this story has been posted on another website before, so some of you may recognize it already. The reason I'm reposting it here is because I have been going through the story chapter-by-chapter and editing things that I think may have been written better. I also wanted it to reach more readers. If you have read it before, please don't post any comments that may spoil the story for new readers. 
> 
> Now, without further ado, chapter 13!

_It always starts off the same way. He's nine-years old again, and most importantly, he is happy- so utterly and completely happy that, almost instantly, he is fully aware that he is dreaming. He is aware because he's never felt this happy before, not in 26 years, not until Regina._

_He is a little boy playing with his parents at the park, and Sidney finds himself wondering if this is truly a memory, or if it is an intricate scene concocted by his unconsciousness to help him cope with his loss._

_The scene, however, always the same, always so elaborate, feels as tangible to him as his best friend, James. It is a sunny day, but the cool breeze is ever present against his skin, his long thick curls dancing to its rhythm. His parents lay on the grass, leaving a small space between them that was destined for him to fill, and he joins them. His eyes fall shut, but he can feel the soft rays of sunlight tickling his eyelids, and he smiles._

_This has to be real._

_It always ends the same way, too. Colors of green and yellow and blue and_ happiness _morph into black and red and fear. So much fear. He watches, helpless, as his parents are executed and mutilated. He watches because that's what the killer wants. He lay on his side, restrained, as he witnesses horrifying acts that the man insisted were 'works of art'._

_He is the final piece to the puzzle, the last needed stroke of a brush to perfect the masterpiece. His eyes slowly open, but his vision is hazy from something that the man injected into his neck. It takes him a few moments to focus, and the sight before him is not something that should be real._

_It can't be real._

_His parents are kneeling, his mother to his right and his father to his left, their arms extended around him in an embrace that never quite reaches him. He's kneeling too, in a pool of blood and hair and broken teeth. He notices silver hooks embedded deep into their arms, necks, and scalps, and as the moonlight seeping through the white curtains reflects against something above him, he realizes that his parents are connected to thin, transparent wires that are wrapped around the chandelier._

_Human puppets._

_It is when he looks up that his gaze lands on their faces; eyes wide open and glinting, but so utterly lifeless. Their mouths are stretched into a Glasgow smile, deep cuts traveling from corners to ears, faces gory and pale._

_He doesn't know how long or loud he screams. He remembers shutting his eyes so tightly that he isn't sure if he'd be able to open them ever again. He remembers their bloody smiles._

_He thinks it's a little ironic that the last area his frail body occupies is the one between his parents—the space destined for him to fill._

_The next thing he remembers is being extracted from the embrace that was frozen in time. He is lifted by someone into an ambulance, and soon he is surrounded by more people, some in white and some in blue, some trying to examine him and some trying to ask questions._

_He is told by a woman with a kind face that the man who murdered his parents was sick; a serial killer that targeted families with only one child. She called what the sick man did to his parents a_ ritual,  _a ceremony of some sorts._

_But Sidney disagreed. What the man did was not a ritual, but an exhibit. He was an artist, and his parents' bodies were his canvas. Sidney wondered if the child that was always left alive in the killer’s bloody paintings represented the man himself, he wondered if the embrace that was frozen in time was meant for him._

_He remembers someone scolding the woman for telling him about the man, saying that he is just a child, and he tries not to laugh because his childhood ceased to exist the moment he beheld the execution of his only family. And it really was an execution: the sick man wanted to punish the world for taking his parents away from him._

_The woman comes closer to him and places a delicate hand atop his, and when he looks up, it is Regina looking back. He is no longer his nine-year old self, but a fully grown man smiling back at a woman he didn't think could possibly be real._

_But she is real._

_And, for the first time in 26 years, he wakes up smiling, not screaming._

"Regina," is the first thing to leave his lips, a soft whisper that only he was supposed to hear.

"I'm sorry to disappoint, buddy," James said with a soft chuckle. "But it's just me."

Sidney sat up from the bed, a small smile tugging on his lips. He wouldn't say it aloud, but he was far from disappointed. James had always been the only constant in his life, and finding him here, now, was something he was truly grateful for. "You're here."

"Of course I am, buddy," his friend emerged from the shadows, and despite the darkness, his blue eyes were piercing and clear. "I'll always be here."

Laying back down and closing his eyes, he said quietly, "Thank you, James."

James dismissed it by waving a hand, as if to say that, after all these years, Sidney knew better than to thank him. "Same dream?" he asked, already sure of the answer.

"Yes," he nodded in the dark. "But something's changed." In all of his time, his dream was never altered. It was always the same; the same colors, the same sequence, the same pain. But for the first time, a warmth he hadn't felt in years was penetrating his life, his unconsciousness.

"Oh yeah? What's that?"

The smile returned, "Regina, she appeared to me."

"What did she do?"

Sidney was slowly slipping back into sleep, but he managed to mumble, "She held my hand."

* * *

 

Sidney was sweating profusely as he sat waiting outside the meeting hall. He could hear his blood pumping in his ears and he couldn't quite get his foot to stop tapping the floor. In about ten minutes, he was to meet with the board of Psychology to hear the evaluation of his Thesis.

If you were to ask him two days ago whether he felt confident about his paper, he would've said yes without hesitation. But now, sitting so close to the people who had complete control over his future, his assertiveness was all but nonexistent.

"Sidney Glass?" a woman he assumed to be an assistant stepped out from the hall, a polite smile covering her features.

He was so consumed by worry that he didn't hear her until the second, or maybe the third, time she called him. "Yes?"

"They're ready for you."

Rubbing his sweaty hands against his pants, he took a deep breath and entered. A long table that could seat at least twenty people was situated in the center of the room, and to one side, Sidney was met with two women and two men.

"Sidney Glass," one of the men said, and Sidney recognized him to be Dr. Charles Bane, the head of the board. "Please, have a seat."

It took his body a moment to respond, but once he recovered, he remembered his manners and greeted, "Hello, everyone."

"It's nice to meet you," replied Dr. Charles with a smile. "How do you feel?"

He let out a shaky sigh before answering, "Honestly? I'm quite nervous." Some chuckled, and the sound made the tension in his body slightly relax.

"Well, you have no reason to be," and reaching over to open a thick booklet, Charles continued, "Your Thesis is quite impressive, Mr. Glass. I don't think I've ever read anything quite like it."

A woman to the right, Sidney recognized her but wasn't sure of her name, said, "Indeed. The title in itself was intriguing, but as we read on, we found the content to be just as innovative."

The other woman joined, "And the fact that the paper was inspired by your own experience as a parentally-bereaved child only adds to its significance."

"Your research was also quite thorough and provided sufficient evidence to back your claims. It's refreshing to finally read a well-written and well-researched Thesis."

Moments ago, Sidney was ready to pass out from anxiety, but now he was ready to pass out for an entirely different reason. He felt the need to pinch himself under the table to make sure he wasn't dreaming.  _Is this really happening?_

"I can't believe this," he mumbled.

Chuckling, Dr. Charles assured him, "You should, Mr. Glass. You've done a great job and you deserve all the feedback we're giving you."

"So does this mean I've earned my Master's degree?" The answer was quite obvious, but he was feeling so overwhelmed that he needed an explicit confirmation.

"Yes, Mr. Glass. Congratulations."

He stood up so quickly and forcefully that he almost knocked over his chair, and within seconds he was grabbing each board member's hand and shaking it with an enthusiasm that he couldn't quite contain. "Thank you all so much. I can't even begin to express how grateful and happy I am."

"No, Mr. Glass," Dr. Charles interjected. "Thank you for letting us be a part of your journey here."

* * *

 

She felt rather than saw Emma's lips widen into a smirk against her stomach. "Emma," she moaned loudly, her hands traveling downwards and sinking into silky blonde locks. "Don't be a tease."

Releasing a soft chuckle, Emma admitted, "I'm sorry, I just can't help it." She loved to take her time, to taste and savor and feel everything that was Regina, but sometimes her lover didn't have the patience.

A tongue swirling around her navel caused her head to fall back, and unable to wait any longer, she sunk her nails into Emma's scalp and pushed her head further down, "I'd much rather feel that skilled tongue of yours inside me, dear."

"Fuck, Regina" the blonde growled, but before she could oblige, her movements were interrupted by a doorbell.

Regina let out a frustrated moan, but didn't move. "Don't stop, perhaps they'll go away." But moments later, the bell rang again. Sighing, she pulled on a silk robe and made her way down the stairs. She wasn't expecting anyone.

She certainly was not expecting Sidney Glass.

"Uh…Mr…Mr. Glass, hello."

"Professor Mills, good evening," he gave her the widest and brightest smile he could muster. "I do apologize for dropping by so late, but I was too excited to wait." He waited for an invitation to enter, but his professor remained standing in front of the door, blocking his way.

"Excited? About what?"

"Well, I just had my meeting with the board of Psychology, and they've approved my Thesis. I've earned my degree, Professor."

Under any other circumstances, Regina would've been genuinely happy for her student. In fact, perhaps she would've been so happy that she may have offered him a hug. But this moment, compared to a moment earlier where she had the woman she loved between her thighs ready to please her, she wasn't feeling particularly happy. Aroused, frustrated, but not happy. "That's wonderful news, Mr. Glass!" she said, trying to summon her best smile. "Congratulations, you deserve it."

Sidney faltered, his smile no longer in place. His Professor was smiling, but somehow he could tell that it wasn't very earnest. He didn't like that. "May I come in?" He stepped forward.

"Excuse me?" she said as she held her hand up. She was trying her best to remain courteous, but this man was really beginning to irritate her.

He didn't budge. "I'd like to tell you all about it," he said matter-of-factly, as though it were obvious.

"I apologize, Mr. Glass," her smile intact but nowhere near as friendly. "But I'm a little busy, I'm afraid."

Frowning, he took another step and was now inches away from Regina. "Busy with what?" Why wasn't she letting him in? Why wasn't she happier for him? This wasn't the professor he knew.

"Mr. Glass," she warned. "We'll discuss this tomorrow during my office hours, but for now, I'd like you to leave."

Finally stepping back, he smiled politely, "Of course, Professor. Have a good night." A simple nod was all he got in return, and quickly, he was faced with the mansion's door once again.

As he was walking back towards his dorm room, he noticed a yellow Camaro still parked on campus, and he recognized it to be that blonde's car.

Suddenly, everything fell into place.

* * *

 

"Hey, babe. Who was it?" she asked when Regina finally walked in. "You guys were talking for a while."

"It was Sidney Glass, he wanted to let me know that his Thesis was approved," as she ran her fingers through her hair, Regina replayed their conversation in her head and arrived at the conclusion that she may had been a little too harsh. Perhaps she would apologize to him tomorrow.

"He couldn't wait till tomorrow or something?"

"I suppose he was too excited and needed to tell someone," she chuckled as she loosened her robe and climbed into the bed.

"Doesn't he have friends that could get excited with him?"

"I believe he only has one," the more Regina thought about it, the worse she felt, and she was determined to make it up to him the next day.

Emma felt mean to think that way, but she wasn't entirely surprised. The guy barely ever spoke to anyone and, for reasons she couldn't quite explain, he made her extremely uncomfortable.

"He's the college's football coach," she continued. "He mentioned him a couple of times during the time I helped him with his Thesis."

"No way!" Emma let out, utterly shocked. "He's friends with Coach Freddie? That's pretty awesome. The man is a genius, the team would be nothing without him."

"Wait a moment," she interjected, her brow furrowing. "Coach Freddie? Sidney said his friend was called James."

"James? Freddie's been the coach for the past eight years."

"It doesn't make any sense," Regina said, feeling a little confused. "He doesn't seem like the type of person to lie."

Shrugging, Emma wrapped her arms around Regina and pulled her closer. "I guess you could ask him about it the next time you see him."

She turned her head and placed a kiss on Emma's lips, slow and gentle. "Perhaps," she replied absently, her mind no longer interested in this particular conversation. "Now," she deepened the kiss, her tongue tracing Emma's bottom lip, waiting to be granted entry, "Where were we?"

"Well, you were right there," Emma whispered against supple lips, then, smirking, she crawled down the brunette's body and slowly spread her legs. "And I was right here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thoughts?


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning, though nothing graphic. Please see the story's tags for more info.

That night, Sidney was visited by the same dream, but unlike before, he woke up screaming, Regina wasn't there to hold his hand. Just when he thought his happiness was finally within his reach, she was slipping right through his fingers.

He couldn't help but be consumed by one thought: Emma Swan was the one stealing Regina from him. Regina wasn't the one to blame, no. She was simply confused, unaware of her true feelings towards him. Yes, Emma Swan was playing with his professor's head, and to that, he had the perfect solution: he just needed to make Regina realize how much she cared for him.

_She just needs to realize how in love with me she is._

"James," he called. He wasn't quite sure how, but he was already certain of his friend's presence. In all the years he had known him, James always seemed to show up whenever he needed him, and for that, he was thankful.

A figure emerged almost instantly. "What's up, buddy?"

"I need your help." This course of action seemed the only logical one to Sidney. James was good looking, which meant he had experience with these things—with women, to be precise.

"With what?"

Unable to control himself, Sidney tried to hide his blushing face from James. "I'm taking my Professor out on a date."

"Uh…Sid, are you sure that's a good idea? I mean, won't you two get into trouble since, you know, you're her student and all?"

Sidney wasn't fazed, and smiled, having already thought of this. "Tomorrow's the last day of finals, which means, as of tomorrow, she is no longer my professor." His grin never wavered, his eyes glinting menacingly in the darkness, "We can pursue our love freely now, she needn't be afraid."

Patting his back, James replied, "I'm proud of you, buddy. You finally found your balls."

"Must you be so vulgar?" he asked angrily, swatting James's hand away. As much as he loved him, he sometimes couldn't fathom how the two of them became friends in the first place. They were so different.

"Yeah, yeah," James chuckled. "We can't all be gentlemen like you, Sid."

"You can try, at least. God may have given you the looks, but he deprived you of manners, it seems." It was very rare that Sidney showed he was jealous of James, but at this moment, it was quite clear.

"Do you want my help or not?" his friend asked, not really insulted by his comments.

Sighing, Sidney gave his answer with a simple nod.

"Okay, so the purpose of a date is to be invited back to her place."

Furrowing, he interjected, "I thought the purpose of a date is to get to know one another." He remained silent, but Sidney was beginning to regret asking James for help.

"Yeah, that's one of the things, but the end game is to get some action."

Sidney didn't agree completely, but he supposed it did make sense. The thought of being back at his professor's house made his pulse jump and his body overheat. "What must I do?"

Wrapping an arm around his shoulder, James released a hearty laugh. "Ah, Sid. You've come to the right guy."

* * *

 

" _So."_

"So," Regina whispered, unable to stop her lips from widening into a bright smile. A finger was toying with a strand of her hair, twisting and pulling, and, realizing how ridiculous she must look, she stopped herself. She wondered if she would ever get over this—feeling like a little girl speaking to her crush.

" _Today's the last day of exams,"_  Emma said, her voice warm as always, even on the phone.

"Indeed it is," she tried to say nonchalantly, her excitement threatening to bubble over. Regina knew exactly how significant this day was for the both of them.

" _Which means you won't be my professor anymore."_

Yes, she would no longer be her professor; she wouldn't have to worry about being caught, or what others may think. They could be a proper couple with no consequences. "And how do you feel about that?"

Emma chuckled,  _"Well, I'm going to miss that thrill I usually get from seducing my professor."_  She didn't need to see Regina to know that she was smirking, she could feel it.

"Seducing? I don't believe I was ever  _seduced_ , Ms. Swan." Of course she was seduced—her pride just wouldn't let her admit it. The instant attraction she had felt towards the blonde when they first met only grew stronger each day, and she, much to her disbelief, was utterly helpless against it.

" _Babe, don't even get me started."_

Regina was just about to give her a piece of her mind when a knock on her office door interrupted her. "One moment, please," she called out, then said, "I'm afraid I have company, dear."

" _That's alright. Are you still coming by the gym later today?"_

"Of course, I wouldn't miss it."

" _Great, I'll see you the.,"_  She paused, then said,  _"I love you."_

Regina suddenly felt very lightheaded. How can three simple words have such an effect on her? "I love you, too."

Finally hanging up, she gave permission for the person to enter, and it was none other than Sidney Glass. After last night's events, she wasn't sure if he would visit her again or not, but she was glad she would have the opportunity to set things right. "Mr. Glass, welcome."

Sidney was pleased to see that, unlike yesterday, his professor's smile and tone did seem genuine. He grinned, "Professor Mills, hello. I hope I'm not disturbing you."

"No, not at all," and she really did mean it. Her frustration before, while somewhat understandable, did not excuse her behavior. "Let me begin by apologizing for yesterday."

"No, please," he interjected, though he was secretly glad that his professor realized her errors. "It was my fault for dropping by so late and unannounced, I certainly didn't mean to intrude."

"I really was busy," she stated simply.

 _Of course, busy with that blonde whore. Why must you lower your standards…you deserve so much more._ "I understand."

"That being said, allow me to congratulate you once again. I really am proud of you, Mr. Glass. You have done so well," she said sincerely. She could see him doing great things in the future, despite his past.

"Thank you, Professor. Truly, I couldn't have done any of it without you," he affirmed.  _Now, Sidney. You should ask her out now._ "On that note, may I invite you to dinner to celebrate? Consider it a thank you for all the help you've provided me."

"Uh…Di-dinner?" she stuttered, dumbfounded by the sudden and unexpected proposal. How could she say no without seeming rude all over again?

"Well, yes" he continued, unaware of Regina's inner conflict. "Tonight, perhaps. I have a great restaurant in mind."  _There, she needn't deny us now._

"Mr. Glass," she hesitated, trying to decipher the most polite way to decline. "I don't think it is wise for us to…dine together, seeing as I am your professor and you my student."

"Yes, but today was the last day of finals, Professor, which means I am no longer your student," he reassured her with a smile. Now they can be free to be together at last. "Allow me to thank you properly, Professor. It's the least I could do."

Regina sighed, recalling her conversation with Emma and realizing any argument with the man would lack validity. "I suppose you're correct, Mr. Glass," she said politely. "A celebratory dinner wouldn't hurt."

"Excellent!" he exclaimed, his hands clapping with excitement like a child and his beady eyes sparkling with anticipation for what was yet to come. "What time may I pick you up?"

"Oh, you needn't do that. I'm perfectly capable of driving myself to the restaurant," she tried to object, hoping to limit the factors that would normally make this a date, and not a simple dinner with an acquaintance.

"I'm sure you are," he said, the wide smile wavering for a moment. "But I'd like to think of myself as a gentleman, and as such, I'd prefer picking you up myself."  _Give her the illusion that she has a choice,_  he remembered James saying.  _But in the end, you make the decisions._

Already getting tired of this conversation, Regina thought it a good idea to humor the man for the day, then perhaps he'd let her be. "Very well, Mr. Glass. I'll be expecting you at, say, 7 o'clock?"

"Perfect," his grin back again. "I'll see you then."

* * *

 

"Wait, what?" she said for the third time. She wasn't sure if the reason her mind wasn't processing the words was because of Regina's incredibly strong punches or simply because of how ridiculous it sounded to her. "You're going to…dinner, with that Glass dude? Like, on a date?"

Never halting her assault on the punch mitts, Regina couldn't help but smirk. "Of course not, dear. It's his way of thanking me for assisting him with his Thesis; there's nothing romantic about it."  _Right?_

She smiled and her eyes lit up with pride because, although Regina didn't seem to notice, her attacks were so forceful that she was pushing Emma slowly backwards. She adjusted her stance and stood her ground before replying, "Does he know that? Because I get the feeling that he thinks he's taking you on a date."

"Don't be silly, dear," Regina panted. She paused to inhale then lunged forward, her lips only a breath away from Emma's. "Are you jealous?"

"Why would I be?" she tried to reason, but Regina's raised eyebrow and roguish smirk told her she wasn't fooling anyone. "Okay, fine. Just a little. I'm more concerned than jealous, though."

"Concerned?"

Resting her forward on Regina's, she whispered, "Yeah. I don't have an explanation for it but I really don't like him." Should she tell her that he creeps her out? That, every time he's around Regina, she feels her skin crawl?

Regina closed the gap between them and kissed her, slowly and deeply, hoping this simple but profound gesture would be enough to reassure her. "Emma, don't worry," she mumbled against thin lips. "It'll be fine." Another kiss, "And if anything were to happen, I can take care of myself. I have a great trainer after all."

"I can't argue you with that," she admitted smugly. It had only been a couple of months, but Regina had improved tremendously. Her arms were more outlined, and her once soft stomach was now a little harder and definitely more toned. It was when she saw Regina's signature smirk and arched eyebrow did she realize that she was openly gawking. She didn't really care.

"See something you like, Ms. Swan?" the brunette said flirtatiously, already knowing the answer.

Emma had to bite her lip to keep from starting a very heated make-out session right in the middle of her gym. "Oh, you have  _no idea_."

* * *

 

"James, could you please stop pacing around my room?!" he almost shouted. He appreciated his friend's support but right now, his presence was doing more harm than good. "How is it that you're more nervous than me?"

"How is it that you're not  _as_  nervous as  _me_?" James countered, his hands buried in his pockets as he continued to walk back and forth. "Isn't this like, your first date… _ever_?"

He realized that James was right, this was his first time. "Well, thank you, James. You've successfully made me anxious now." Shaking his head, he forced himself to take a deep breath before speaking, "how hard could it possibly be? I just need to be myself."

A muscular arm wrapped around his neck and squeezed, "that's right buddy. She already likes you just the way you are."

"Precisely," he reasoned as he took a final look at his reflection in the mirror. He looked dashing in his brand new beige suit, how could she deny him? Turning around to face his friend, he asked, "What do you think, James?"

"She's all yours tonight, Sid," he said with a goofy grin. "She's all yours."

* * *

 

As he made his way up the brick stairs to the mansion door, he took a moment to smooth out the wrinkles that had formed on his jacket during the drive there. He took a deep breath, then rang the bell.

The faint click of heels behind the door signaled her approach, and Sidney couldn't stop the corners of his mouth from widening into an eager smile. The door swung open, and he was met with a woman that was too perfect to exist.

"Mr. Glass, hello," she greeted with a smile. "You're right on time."

The sight before him made what little breath he had slam against his lungs, and he found himself gulping for air. "P-Professor Mills, you look…you look stunning, as always."

Running a hand through her perfectly coiffed hair, Regina said, "Thank you, Mr. Glass. I see you dress up nicely, too." She sighed, wishing it was a dinner with Emma more than anything.  _How bad could it be?_   _Have dinner with him and then we could all move on._ "Shall we?"

"Y-yes, of course," he was about to offer her his hand but hesitated, deciding it was still too early for that at this stage.

Regina wasn't entirely surprised to see that the car was pretty old, a grey 80's Lincoln with rusted rims. She was pleased to note, however, that the interior looked and smelt new, black leather and velvet. "So, where will we be having dinner?"

"I hope you like Italian; a friend of mine told me about this wonderful Italian place not so far from here."

Regina remained silent, her mind traveling back to the first dinner she had had with Emma. She remembered those silly feelings of jealousy after witnessing the interaction between the blonde and that over-friendly waitress. She remembered feeling her blood pumping in her ears and her heart threatening to burst as she tasted Emma's lips for the first time.

"We're here," he announced, demanding her attention.

Regina raised her gaze and looked on in disbelief at the same plain and unimpressive looking restaurant Emma had taken her to. She couldn't control the smile that bloomed upon seeing it, and now, she found herself aching for the blonde in earnest.

"Have you come here before?" he said, noticing the change in her expression. This was definitely not part of the plan. He wanted this place to be a surprise; he wanted to impress her.

"Only once before," she admitted. "And you've made a great choice; it is quite wonderful."

As they walked in, they were both greeted by a perky brunette. "Hi, welcome to- oh, my god, is that you, Regina?!"

Regina hesitated but smiled, not expecting the host to remember her after a single meeting. "Aurora, was it? How are you?"

"I'm doing great! What about you? Are you here with Emma again? How is she doing? She needs to drop by more often."

She froze at the mention of Emma's name, not wanting Mr. Glass to know who she had come with to this restaurant before. She snuck a look sideways to gauge his reaction and was met with a very scary looking expression— _damn it._ She really wasn't in the mood to deal with this. "Uh…she's doing well, I think—" but she was unable to finish her sentence.

"She's actually here with me," he said sternly, not bothering to hide his disdain. "A reservation for Mr. Glass."

Aurora faltered, her greeting smile turning into an apologetic one as she fumbled through papers and looked for a name. "Of course, Mr. Glass. Right this way."

When they finally took a seat, Regina prayed to whatever god was out there that their waitress wouldn't be Keira—she really wouldn't know how to handle that at all.

 _She was here with that blonde bitch?_ He thought angrily.  _All the better, then. Now I have the chance to make her realize that my company is much more satisfying than_  hers.

"Hello, I'm Tristan, and I'll be your waiter for the night," a short but good looking man, probably no older than nineteen, greeted them. "Can I get you anything to drink?"

Sidney looked over to Regina and smiled, telling her to go first. "A sparkling water for me, please."

"I'll have the same," he paused, then quickly added, "oh, and a bottle of your best Champagne."

"Wait, Mr. Glass," Regina interjected.

"Do you not like Champagne, Professor Mills?" Sidney wavered, concerned he may have made the wrong choice.

She smiled politely. "No, I quite like Champagne. I'm afraid I prefer not to drink tonight, however." She barely knew the man and she already felt a little uncomfortable with this dinner arrangement, she certainly wasn't going to drink with him.

Frowning, Sidney motioned for the waiter to leave. "Cancel the Champagne, then." He didn't like this. He didn't like this at all. The whole point of this date was to celebrate, and how can they celebrate without wine?  _Stay calm, Sidney. The night is still young._

"Certainly, sir," the waiter smiled. "I'll give you two some time to look through our menu."

"Mr. Glass-" Regina began.

"Professor, in the light of today's events, would you mind calling me Sidney?" he said tentatively, afraid of rejection.

Those were boundaries she preferred not to cross, but she figured she could at least give him that after refusing the wine. "Uh… Sidney."

His heart throbbed upon hearing his name uttered for the first time by her; he could literally feel the heat in his cheeks and the blood pumping in his veins. "Yes, Regina?"

 _Regina?_  She didn't give him permission to call her that.  _But, it's not like you are his professor anymore._ She released a heavy sigh, "Why don't you tell me what the Psychology board thought of your Thesis?"

* * *

 

The drive back was spent in companionable silence- at least, that's how Sidney felt. Although the date didn't start off too well, mainly due to that insufferable host mentioning the Swan girl, the rest of it carried on smoothly. The food was delicious, and the company was more than desirable, and Sidney couldn't help but feel absolutely ecstatic by the end of it.

 _Don't forget, getting invited back to her place is the endgame,_  James had told him over and over. It had felt out of reach, but at this moment, it didn't seem so impossible. He parked the car in the driveway and quickly stepped out to help Regina.

Sinking a hand into her purse, Regina fished out her keys and unlocked the door. She then turned around and smiled graciously. "Thank you for a delightful night, Sidney."

Why did that thank you sound like a goodbye? Was she dismissing him so quickly, without an invitation inside? "Uh…you're quite welcome, Regina."  _But the date went perfectly_ , he thought.  _This can't be the end, not yet._  "May I come in for a drink?" he asked as he stepped forward.

Regina took a step back, her brow furrowing. "I believe it's getting late, Mr. Glass. And you still have to drive home."

No, this was all wrong. Why was she calling him 'Mr. Glass' again?  _Is it really so difficult for her to say my name? Give her the illusion of choice, but you make the decisions._ He took another step forward, his figure threatening despite his size. "One drink wouldn't hurt, would it?" he tried to reason.

"Mr. Glass," she warned, this scene reminding her of the night before.  _Why won't he get the hint?_  "I'd like you to leave now."

Leaving wasn't an option. Not now. Not after going through all this trouble. Not after waiting for the semester to end so he could have her to himself. Clearly, she was still confused. Clearly, Emma Swan was taking advantage of her, deceiving her.

He grabbed her wrist and pulled her towards him roughly. "Why can't you acknowledge your feelings? Why won't you realize how much I care about you, and you about me?" His dark eyes were brimming with frustration and incredulity, and his once somber face was contorted in rage. "You don't have to be afraid anymore, we can be together now!"

Regina tried to pull away, but his grip was too strong and she couldn't free herself. "What are you talking about?!" She backed away, but in her panic forgot there was a doorstep and stumbled backwards, sending both her and the madman toppling to the floor.

Sidney was quicker to react, and immediately straddled her waist, effectively trapping both her arms in the process. Wiggling under him only made her feel more trapped and his weight was too much to overcome.

His hands gripped her shoulders tightly and shook her, hoping the motion would bring her back to reality, to  _their_  reality. "You came to me in my dream!" he shouted, his mind in a state of pandemonium.  _How could she be so clueless? How could she deny us so openly?_   _Why won't she stop resisting me?_  "You held my hand!"

Regina's entire body was shaking, her expression going from shock, to fear, to horror and back again. Her head was spinning and she felt delirious; w _as this really happening, or am I imagining it?_ Somehow, it didn't feel real. It was as though this wasn't really her body, and she was simply an outsider watching as the scene unfolded.

The look of absolute terror on her face only served to irritate him even more. He shook her once more before screeching, "Why won't you answer me?!" But Regina was frozen, unable to move or speak.

 _She's all yours, Sid,_  James's voice filtered in through all the chaos.  _She's all yours. You just have to show her._

His hands released her only to move to his belt buckle, and that was when Regina snapped back, her eyes widening in horror. She struggled below him once again, trying desperately to push him off. "What do you think you're doing?!" she screamed, her arms burning under the pressure of his weight.

"I have to show you," he whispered quietly, his belt now unbuckled. "No, I  _need_  to show you how much I love you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, I kindly ask those of you that have already read this story not to leave any comments that may spoil it for people that haven't read it. Thank you.


	15. Chapter 15

" _I have to show you," he whispered quietly, his belt now unbuckled. "No, I_ need  _to show you how much I love you."_

"Emma!" her scream was deafening and desperate. Somewhere in the back of her mind, she knew it was futile. Emma was miles away, she couldn't possibly hear her…she couldn't possibly know that Regina needed her now more than ever.

The simple name only served to enrage the man, his hands making quick work of his zipper. "You call for her still?!" he sneered, his nostrils flaring and his eyes menacing like the devil's. "After everything…"

Having accepted her fate, Regina closed her eyes and tried to shut everything out. She couldn't feel her arms anymore, and her body from the waist up was numb under his weight.

 _Regina,_ a warm voice filtered in, and before she knew it, she was no longer on the floor of her house, but was standing in the middle of the boxing ring facing Emma.

" _Why don't we change it up a bit and work on your lower body today?"_

" _Do we have to?" she whined. "The last time we attempted that, I twisted my ankle and had to wear sweatpants to work." She wasn't really ready to go through that again._

_Emma's smile was dazzling as she leaned in and whispered, "Don't worry, I'll take care of you."_

_How could she say no to that? "Fine," she sighed dejectedly. "What do I have to do?"_

" _Don't sound so defeated," the blonde chuckled. "You wanna have a powerful body as a whole; if we focus on your upper body and forget the lower part, there'll be an imbalance in strength, and we definitely don't want that."_

"Look at me!" Sidney demanded savagely, the sound piercing through her vivid memory and causing her to awaken from her trance.

Regina was alert now, definitely more aware of her surroundings. Her arms and torso were useless… _but my lower body is free_ , she thought. She tried moving her legs slightly, careful not to alert Sidney to her intentions, and was pleased to find that she had full control of them.

She didn't need to call for Emma- Emma was already with her. Taking a deep breath, she looked straight into Sidney's eyes, and, if looks could kill, he would have dropped dead on the spot. "Mr. Glass," she said very calmly, her voice dripping with venom. "I am going to give you one chance to remove yourself from my presence."

An unintelligent snicker was the only response she required and, bending a leg, she sunk her knee into his back with such force that a muffled  _crack_  echoed through the air. Sidney fell to his side, screaming and writhing in agony and, before he could retaliate, Regina was instantly kneeling over him, her hands balled into fists.

There was no hesitation; the impact between her knuckles and his cheekbone was immediate, hard and destructive. The collision made her very bones vibrate and, although it would have been incredibly painful under normal circumstances, it only served to fuel her attack.

A single punch was enough to send Sidney's head spinning. His vision blurred and the throbbing in his cheek was almost unbearable. He brought his hands before his face, hoping to shield himself from a second punch that was sure to come, but his weak defense was useless against Regina.

The following punch slammed into his nose and another crack, this time very much loud and clear, reverberated against Regina's fist. The assault continued, never halting- right, left, right, left, as though his face were the punching bag she was so used to hitting at the gym.

She only slowed down when the man lay limply beneath her, his eyes swollen shut and his face oozing blood from multiple places. Her fists were dripping too, but she had no idea if it was her blood, or his.

It took Regina several moments to move; her heart was beating so loudly in her ears it was deafening, and keeping ahold of her phone was proving difficult as her hands trembled violently. On the third try, she was finally able to dial the number.

" _911, what's your emergency?"_

* * *

 

Her sharp senses were now dulled down as the adrenaline subsided, and Regina found it difficult to keep up with the figures roaming around her. She wondered why everything seemed to be moving in slow motion, and why, although she could see their lips moving, no sound was coming out.

She wondered when and how this blanket was wrapped around her. She wondered if this day would ever end.

"Ma'am," a deep but soft voice infiltrated through with such clarity that Regina couldn't help but wince because, up until that moment, everything was a muffled haze. The man took a step back, making sure to give her enough space, and raised his hands before him as if to say 'I come in peace'. "I'm sorry," he continued. "I didn't mean to startle you."

Her lips parted to speak but the words died in her throat. She gulped, then shook her head, hoping it would be enough for him to understand.

Taking a step forward, he knelt down and gave her a reassuring smile. As he did so, however, he noticed a phone clutched so tightly in her hand that it threatened to break. "Is there someone you'd like me to call?" he whispered, his eyes landing on the object.

Regina didn't quite understand his question at first, but upon following his gaze, she remembered something very important. "Emma," she gasped, her shaky hands fumbling with her phone. How could she forget to call Emma?

"Shhh…it's okay," the man comforted, his hands reaching over to steady hers but, as if suddenly remembering the situation, stopped his movements, thinking better of it. "If you could give me her number, I can call her for you."

Nodding, her ability to speak gone once more, she gave him her phone. "'My Emma'?" he asked, and she nodded again.  _My Emma._

* * *

 

Regina's sense of time was quite damaged. She remembered giving her phone to an officer, but everything after that was a blur.

"Regina," it was barely a whisper, but she was sure she recognized the voice. " _Regina_ ," it said again, gentle and warm and inviting. Who was calling her name? Why did it sound so familiar? Why did it make her heart swell?

"Regina, it's me, Emma," the voice said and suddenly, her vision was back in focus and she was met with a face that looked so frighteningly concerned it was heartbreaking. "Baby, can you hear me?"

"Emma," Regina croaked, her voice barely a whisper. "You're here."

It wasn't until she heard her name did Emma realize that she had been holding her breath. Her entire body relaxed as she sighed, "Of course I'm here. Are you okay? Are you hurt?" She tried placing a hand on Regina's, but the brunette flinched away.  _Are you okay?! What kind of stupid question is that?_

"I'm fine," Regina lied. Why did she say that? It was so clear it wasn't true.

Emma wanted more than anything to hug her, to wrap her arms so tightly around her that it would be enough to ward away all the harrowing events of the night, but she knew Regina couldn't be touched right now, not for a while.

"I'm guessing you're Emma?" a man in a uniform approached them.

She recognized his accent from the phone, probably Irish. "Yeah, thanks for giving me a call," she said as she held out her hand.

"Officer Graham." He shook it then continued, "I was only doing my job."

She looked over to Regina and found that she was already retreating back to her own bubble, so she decided this was the opportune moment to get some answers. Motioning for the officer to follow her, she took a couple of steps away from Regina, but made sure she was close enough to keep an eye on her.

"Could you please tell me what the hell happened?" she hissed. "You were kind of vague on the phone."

"Miss Mills was assaulted at 10:10pm-"

"Wait a minute," she interrupted. "When you say 'assaulted'…"

He hesitated before answering, "Attempted rape."

She didn't need to ask for a name, she knew exactly who it was. Her emerald eyes suddenly looked very dangerous, and her entire body was literally shaking with anger. "Sidney Glass," she spat out.

"Yes, how did-" but the officer didn't get to finish his sentence.

"Where is that son of a bitch?!" she shouted, her eyes darting left and right trying to locate the bastard. "I'm going to fucking kill him!"

This was all her fault. Ever since the very beginning, she knew there was something off about him. Her stomach would flip unpleasantly every time he approached Regina, and just the mention of his name made her uncomfortable.

Why didn't she listen to her gut? Why didn't she tell Regina the truth about how she felt? If she had, maybe she wouldn't have gone with him to that dinner. If she had, maybe Regina would've been safe.

"Emma, you need to calm down," Graham placed a hand on her forearm, but it was instantly shaken off.

"Don't you dare tell me to calm down," she warned, and he was forced to take a step back because he realized anything he would say or do would only infuriate her, and frankly, he was a little scared. "I'm going to fuck him up!"

"I think your friend already took care of that," a woman in a black paramedics uniform interjected, her blue gloves painted red with blood. "I'm surprised he's still breathing."

 _He doesn't deserve to be breathing_ , she thought. "What are you talking about?"

"Both his nose and his left cheekbone are broken, and his jaw is dislocated. And I can't say for certain, but I think he has a few broken ribs," she paused, and although Emma wasn't sure, she could've sworn she saw the woman smile for a second. "She literally almost punched the life out of him."

For a moment, Emma’s feelings of anger and guilt and anguish were replaced with pride, so much pride because Regina was more than capable of taking care of herself. But that feeling dissipated almost as quickly as it had emerged.

_I was the one supposed to take care of her._

* * *

It took Regina a while to give the police her statement. The incident had left her in shock and her mind was struggling to comprehend if it was reality, or simply a very unpleasant dream. She didn't remember how she arrived to her bedroom, or how she had changed into her pajamas.

A soft knock interrupted her questioning thoughts, and just when she was about to panic, a familiar face greeted her. "Emma," she murmured, surprised. "What are you doing here?"

Emma smiled softly as she approached the bed, gauze and disinfectant in hand. "You didn't let the paramedics clean your wounds, so I thought maybe you'd let me do it." She was very careful as she sat on the edge of the bed, making sure she didn’t make Regina uncomfortable.

"Wounds?" Regina questioned.  _What wounds?_

She slowly, tentatively, reached over, afraid Regina would flinch away from her touch again. She didn't, however, and silently watched as Emma gently held her hands. It wasn't until a finger accidentally brushed against a knuckle, causing Regina to gasp in pain, did she realize what Emma was referring to.

There her knuckles were, skinless, red and bruised. "Oh," Regina breathed, her hands suddenly aching. "I hadn't noticed."

"It's okay," she assured her as she uncapped the disinfectant and poured some into a cotton ball. "This might hurt a bit."

"This hurts more than a bit," Regina whined, her bottom lip trapped between her teeth to keep from crying out. As she looked up, she was met with tender eyes, and she didn't need an explanation to understand. "I'm fine, don't worry."

Emma wondered if Regina knew how pointless those words were. How could she not worry after what happened tonight? How could she feel anything but worry?

The cleaning continued on in relative silence, and once she was sure the cuts were completely clean, Emma began wrapping her knuckles with gauze. She wasn't really thinking when she brought Regina's hands to her lips and kissed them softly, but she was more than glad the action wasn't met with immediate rejection.

"Will you stay with me?" Regina's voice was almost inaudible.  _I'm fine_ , she reminded herself.  _But I wouldn't mind some company._

Emma's heart threatened to burst; those simple words coupled with Regina's vulnerable whisper of a breath made her eyes water, but crying now wouldn't help anyone. "Of course I will—I'll never leave you, Regina."

"There's a guest room," Regina quickly added, her eyes quickly looking away.

She tried not to be hurt by that; Emma understood that, after what Regina went through, she'd need her space. But she couldn't help the sharp pang of pain she felt in her chest. "Yeah, sure. I'll find my own way. If you need anything at all, I'll be here, okay?"

"Okay," she said as she lay back and closed her eyes. "Thank you, Emma."

Sleep wasn't an option for Emma, not any time soon, at least. Thoughts of what had happened, what  _could_  have happened, were clawing at her mind like a wild beast. She didn't know how long she lay there, eyes glued to the ceiling, contemplating ways to make Glass suffer, to make him wail in pain, before she finally put him out of his misery.

She had been so enclosed within herself that she almost didn't hear it, the reticent whimpers emanating from the room across the hall. In fact, she wouldn't have heard them at all if she hadn't opted to keep the door open.

When she turned the handle and walked in, the sight before her caused her chest to throb with excruciating pain, as though whatever was clawing at her mind moments ago was now clawing at her heart, clenching and squeezing.

Regina looked up, her once beautiful brown eyes now bloodshot with tears, and, unable to compose herself any longer, she cried out, " _Oh, Emma."_

There was no hesitancy when Emma ran to her and engulfed her with every ounce of comfort and warmth and  _love_ she could muster. She didn't stop to think whether it was a good idea, or whether giving Regina space was what she needed. Every sob, every gasp, mirrored the sound of Emma's heart shattering, and the only thing she could do was be  _here_ , with Regina.

"Oh, Regina," she whispered, her own tears trickling down her cheeks, leaving a trail of grief and vulnerability. Regina's figure continued to shake against her, and all she could do was hold onto her as tightly as she could. She couldn't help but feel like it wouldn't be enough, like it would never be enough.

Emma held Regina until time became timeless; she held her until sweet murmurs and whispers of soft kisses were the only thing surrounding her. She held her until the pain and the fear and the helplessness were nowhere to be found, even if just for tonight. She held her until the sounds of her gasps turned into sighs of relief.

She held her, and just when anyone else would have let go, she held her still.


	16. Chapter 16

When Sidney finally returned to consciousness, the physical pain that was dulled down by drugs was slowly beginning to seep back into his very bones, aching, pulsing. The emotional pain of rejection, on the other hand, did not give him the courtesy of time; everything came flooding back and his frail body had no chance against the powerful waves as they crashed against him, enveloping him utterly.

His entire body ached, and though he could tell he was injured, he wasn’t quite sure where. When he moved to sit up, his silent question was answered as a sharp pang to his side overwhelmed him and he groaned loudly, unable to bear it.

"Oh, good," an unknown voice said. "You're finally awake." A man looking more amused than he should be finally came into Sidney's line of vision, dressed in green scrubs and a lab coat.

Forgetting his initial shock, Sidney frantically whipped his head from side to side, trying to discern his location. "Who are you? Where am I?" The place looked like a hospital, but there was something eerie about it. White walls and floors, as expected, but the other patients were all dressed in khaki jumpsuits and their hands were cuffed to the bed railings.

"Calm down," the man said, his blue eyes gleaming and his devilish smile never faltering. When he placed his hand on Sidney's arm, that was when he realized that he, too, was cuffed to the bed. "My name is Dr. Whale," he said it with such pride, as though Sidney should feel honored to be in his mere presence. "And you're currently at the Lemuel Shattuck Hospital Correctional Unit."

"Correctional Unit?" he pulled at his hands to make sure the cuffs around his wrists were, in fact, real, and he was both confused and angry to find out that they were. "Why? Why am I cuffed? What is going on?"

"Well, you see," Dr. Whale began, his attention no longer with Sidney and instead focused on a blue file in his hands, "You were transferred here from the general hospital after your condition was more or less stable. This way, we would be able to monitor you in a secure environment and eventually have you questioned."

"Questioned? Why?" For every question that was answered, two more would pop up, and Sidney's confusion only seemed to increase. He remembered being with Regina, walking her to her door. He remembered being on top of her…last night? How long has he been unconscious?

Dr. Whale briefly looked up and smirked,  _he probably has temporary amnesia_ , he thought. "Let's see…" he trailed. "It says here you attacked a Miss…Mills three nights ago."

A new source of pain, his face, began throbbing incessantly, and Sidney wondered if he had heard the Doctor correctly, or if the throbbing was interfering with his auditory nerves. "I'm sorry," he breathed, his head spinning. "Did you say…attacked?"

"Oh, yes," the man squealed, his voice dripping with a mirth that really should not be there, not in this situation. "Attempted rape, it seems."

"What?!" Sidney's shout was almost rivaled by the beeping of a machine as his heart rate rose and his blood curdled at the mention of the word. "R-r-r" he couldn't even utter it. "That can't…I would never…it's not..."

A nurse came rushing in seconds later, a panicked look masking her features. "Dr. Whale!" she yelped. "What's going on? Why is the patient's heart rate so high?"

The doctor's response was a booming laugh. "Don't worry, Kelly. He's perfectly fine," he said as he took a step closer to Sidney. "He just seems to be struggling with reality."

Sidney's eyes glazed over and everything around him, the loud beeping, the doctor, the nurse, the white walls, everything suddenly faded into nothingness.

* * *

 

A police officer was pacing back and forth beside his bed when Sidney woke up again, and the confusion he had felt before passing out was still very much present. He had hoped that everything was just one, long, unpleasantly vivid nightmare, but a look down to his bound wrists confirmed otherwise.

A loud exhale caught Graham's attention, and he couldn't hide his relief when he found that the man had finally roused; he had been waiting for a little over two hours and he was getting really bored. "Mr. Glass," he greeted with a hostility he had been warned to hide- officers weren't supposed to show their true emotions to criminals- but he was the kind of man to wear his heart on his sleeve and he couldn't quite help it.

Sidney could both hear and see the disgust on the officer's face, and his frustration only grew because none of this made sense to him. "Who are you?" he reiterated from his earlier conversation with the doctor. "Why am I really here?"

"My name is Officer Graham Humbert, and I'm here to question you," he answered as he pulled out a black notebook from his breast pocket and began writing the date. "And as I'm sure the doctor already informed you, you were placed under arrest three nights ago after you attempted to sexually assault Miss Mills."

"But that's preposterous!" cried Sidney, his eyes nearly bulging out of their sockets and his face, though completely covered in bandages, was burning red with rage and disbelief. "I would never do such an unspeakable thing to her! I love her!"

Graham had heard it all before; criminals swearing they were innocent, that they would never do something so vile to another human being, and he expected nothing less from this man. But seeing him, and hearing the sincerity in his voice made Graham take a step back for a moment. "Do you deny pinning Miss Mills to the floor of her house and attempting to undress yourself in order…" he trailed on, hoping he'd figure out where the sentence was going on his own.

"Well, yes but that's not-"

"So, you confess?" Graham interjected, his shock apparent. A moment ago, the man was adamant that he would never do it, especially not to the woman he loved, and now, he was admitting to it?

"What? No!"  _Why was it so difficult to understand?_  "I was simply trying to make her realize how much I loved her, and how much she loved me."

This was…unusual.  _He genuinely believes that he wasn't doing anything wrong_ , Graham thought.  _It's not denial, the man is just an idiot._ "So, overpowering her in her own home and not asking for her consent was your way of showing her you loved her?"

"Yes, exactly!" Sidney exhaled with relief.  _Thank god, the man wasn't a complete imbecile.._ "Now you see, Officer, it has all been a huge misunderstanding."

Graham wondered if he realized how crazy he sounded. "I see."

A moment later, James entered the large room and made his way towards his bed, and Sidney's heart threatened to burst from happiness. "Oh, James!" he almost sobbed. "I'm so glad you're here."

The Officer looked around quickly, his hand moving to his firearm in case he needed it. There was no one there, though; other than a handful of inmates passed out on hospital beds, Graham was the only man standing. "Who the hell are you talking to?"

"Hey, buddy," James greeted softly, his hand resting on Sidney's forearm and squeezing tightly. "You look terrible," he chuckled.

Sidney joined in, but quickly stopped after his side ached from the action. "I do, don't I?" he groaned. "My first date didn't go as well as I'd hoped, I'm afraid." Sidney knew he messed up somehow, but he didn't lose hope. He just needed to apologize to Regina, he just needed to clear things up.

"Mr. Glass," Graham interrupted again. "Who, exactly, are you talking to?" The man looked crazy, facing the opposite side of his bed and speaking to someone that is clearly not there.

"Oh, James!" he squeaked, ignoring Graham once again. "Please explain to this Officer how I'd never hurt Regina."

James sighed and shook his head. "But you did hurt her, Sid."

"What?"

"Mr. Glass, don't make me ask you again," Graham warned.

"I'm talking to James."

He said it as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, and Graham had to look around again just to make sure he hadn't missed anyone. He hadn't. This man didn't look crazy, he  _was_  crazy. "Mr. Glass, there is no one here but the two of us."

"Don't be absurd, James is right there," he nudged his head towards his left side. Did the officer need glasses or something? How could he not see James? He wasn’t an easy man to miss.

Graham looked again for good measure, and confirming for the third time that there was, in fact, no one there, he decided to play along. "What is James saying?" It didn't seem like he was toying with him- the man was definitely unhinged.

"James, why won't you help me? You have to tell him that it's just a misunderstanding. I love Regina, I would never do anything-"

"I'm sorry, buddy," he said apologetically. "I can't lie for you."

Sidney's heart was thumping again, and he tried to take deep breaths to calm himself down. He shut his eyes firmly and squeezed his hands into tight fists.  _This can't be happening._ "James, why are you doing this?"

Graham wished he hadn't left his phone in the squad car because whatever was happening was definitely worth filming. "Uh…Mr. Glass, I think maybe I should call the doctor."  _And not just any doctor, he probably needs a shrink or something._

"I do not need a doctor," he hissed, his patience with the officer wearing thin. "What I need is a moment alone with my so-called best friend."

Having had enough crazy for the day, Graham didn't object and simply made his way towards the exit. He needed to call Dr. Whale anyway, and inform him that a mental health specialist may be needed.

"James," his voice shook as he spoke, and it wasn't quite clear if he was angry or on the verge of tears. "Explain yourself."

"I warned you, Sid," he said with a shrug, his demeanor visibly indifferent. "I told you she didn't really love you. I told you she was probably just being nice to you."

"No," Sidney shook his head, his mind struggling to absorb the words. "You encouraged me, you made me believe I had a chance." None of this made sense to him; James was the one who supported him, he was the one who helped him plan the date.

"Only after you attacked me, buddy," he said as he paced back and forth. "I didn't really have a choice."

"No, no, no, no…this isn't real," he repeated as he shook his head and rocked back and forth, the words a soft mantra of denial. "This isn't real." Whatever he had with Regina… _that_  was real. He wasn't imagining the connection they had to one another. They belonged together.

James released a harsh chuckle. "It's as real as you and me, Sid."

"I need you to leave," his voice barely a whisper. He didn't realize how difficult it was to breathe until that very moment, when he tried to take a deep breath in but instead found himself wheezing and shaking. "I-I don't ever…want to…see you again."

James shrugged as he turned and began to walk away. "I only come when you need me, buddy."

* * *

 

The next couple of days were spent in agony when he was conscious to feel it, and despair when he wasn't as the nightmares took over. On the third day, Officer Humbert made an appearance, accompanied by a man with soft features and a friendly smile, and Sidney thought he'd met enough new people in the span of a week to last him a century.

"Hello, Mr. Glass," the man said politely, and Sidney found that he appreciated his manners and was surprised with how genuine he seemed. "I am Dr. Archibald Hopper, and I'm a Psychiatrist. I was brought here after you were seen acting strangely by Officer Humbert."

"Acting strangely?" Sidney asked, not quite sure what the man meant. "I wasn't. I was just having a discussion with my- well, my former friend, James." He tried to ignore how his chest constricted at the mention of his name.

Dr. Hopper gave a side glance to Graham and nodded, the officer having already explained the situation to him. "Officer, if you would be so kind as to give us some privacy?" When Graham left, he turned his attention back to Sidney and smiled. "May I take a seat, Mr. Glass?"

"Please," he meant to motion with his hand, but remembered that he was still very much restrained, so instead settled for a nudge with his head.

"Do you know why you're here, Mr. Glass?" the doctor asked as he opened his case and took out a file.

He sighed, recalling the conversations he had with both Dr. Whale and Officer Humbert. "They're saying I attacked Regina, that I attempted to…but I keep telling them that that's impossible, I was merely trying to prove to her my true love."

"I see," Dr. Hopper nodded as he scribbled some notes onto a notebook. "Mr. Glass, would you mind telling me more about your encounter with…James, was it?" He still had very limited information to assess the man's condition, but after listening to Officer Humbert's side of the story, he had a prognosis, albeit vague, in mind.

Sidney didn't understand why there was a psychiatrist sitting by his bed, and most of all, he didn't understand why the doctor wanted to know about his conversation with James. Despite that, he still felt unusually comfortable around him, and found that he wouldn't really mind talking to him. "I suppose…"

"I understand you recently earned your Master's degree in Psychology, so you should be more than familiar with the idea of confidentiality. Whatever you tell me stays between us, unless it is something that threatens the safety of yourself, or the safety of others."

"Well, he showed up when the officer was questioning me," he paused, recalling how sudden and unexpected his arrival was. "It's funny…he always shows up at the exact moment I need him most, it's like magic."

"What happened then?"

"I asked for his help," he said bitterly. "I asked him to explain to the officer how I'd never hurt Regina, how all I wanted was to be with her." His eyes began to burn with tears that, for some reason, just wouldn't fall.

"It's okay," Dr. Hopper said softly. "You can take your time."

"He said he couldn't lie for me, that he wouldn't. He said that he warned me, but that's not true at all." His whole body was trembling again, and he couldn't do anything to stop it.

Dr. Hopper continued to write, his mind beginning to understand the man's condition better. "Take a deep breath, Mr. Glass," he waited until Sidney did so, then continued. "What did he warn you about?"

"He said he warned me against pursuing Regina, but that wasn't true at all!" he said with pleading eyes, hoping the doctor would believe him. He desperately needed someone to believe him. "He was the one who encouraged me to do it. He's the one who told me she loved me."

"So, was it James the one who told you to attack Miss Mills?"

"No…well," he hesitated. "Yes, in a way."

Quirking an eyebrow, he asked, "In a way?"

"He informed me that, after a date, if it goes well, the couple may end up performing…" seeing the doctor nod his understanding, he went on. "So, after I took her back home, I figured if I could show her how much I loved her, maybe she'd realize her own feelings for me too."

"Mr. Glass, is James here now?"

"What a strange question to ask, Dr. Hopper," he said with a frown. "It's clearly just the two of us here."

"Of course," the doctor shook his head with a smile. "How silly of me."  _The patient is unaware that James does not, in fact, exist,_ he wrote quickly. _He sees, hears and feels someone who is nothing more than a hallucination._ He then bent over and retrieved a piece of paper from his case. "Would you mind answering some questions for me?"

Sidney frowned again, "Haven't I been doing so, Doctor?" 

"Yes, forgive me," he chuckled lightly. "Some more questions, then."

"I suppose I have some time to spare."

"Why, thank you," Dr. Hopper laughed again. "Mr. Glass, do you feel as though your thoughts and feelings were being controlled by James?"

"I wouldn't say  _controlled_ ," he said stiffly. It took him a moment to think it through, having never imagined the possibility. "Influenced, perhaps. Yes."

"Do you have friends other than James? A family?"

"My parents were the only family I had, and they were murdered when I was a child," he said with almost no emotion. He had uttered that sentence so many times that it had lost its meaning. "And I was never able to make friends, not until James, that is. I always felt as though I shared absolutely nothing in common with others."

 _A traumatic experience at a young age may have triggered his condition,_ he scrawled.  _Note: ask more about parents' death later._ "I'm sorry to hear that."

"It was twenty-six years ago, Doctor. I think it's safe to say that I'm over it."  _You'd like that, wouldn't you?_  A voice said.  _I really would._

"Time has nothing to do with it, Mr. Glass," he said with a soft smile. "Some things you just can't ever ' _get over'_." When Sidney remained silent, he continued, "Tell me, do you sometimes feel like you are somewhat apathetic? Emotionally unresponsive when it comes to others?"

"Not with Regina," he said simply.

"But with others?"

"Well, yes. Everyone else's problems and concerns always seemed so petty to me; I didn't feel the need to invest my energy in such a…wasteful manner."

"Of course, why on earth would we want to waste emotions on someone else?" Dr. Hopper said sarcastically, but Sidney seemed to miss it.

He smiled, glad to have finally found someone who understood his point of view. "Precisely, doctor."

"A final question, Mr. Glass. Do you ever find it difficult to get a hold of your thoughts?"

"I'm not sure I quite understand what you mean."

"Do you ever experience racing thoughts in an almost…manic manner and you feel as though you have absolutely no control over them?"

Sidney mulled it over for a second. "I suppose, but don't we all?"

"Those thoughts," he began. "Are they in your voice? Or are they in someone else's?"

"I sometimes hear James's voice when I'm recalling something he said to me, or thinking of what he might think in a certain situation." Sidney was beginning to grow suspicious with the doctor's line of questioning, and he wondered what the purpose was behind them. "Dr. Hopper, where is this going, exactly?"

He sighed dejectedly, completely certain now of his initial assumption. This was the worst part of being a psychiatrist- telling people their diagnosis. "Could you tell me what you know about Schizophrenia, Mr. Glass?"

 _What a random thing to ask_ , Sidney thought, a little thrown off by the question. "I'm sure you know much more than I do, Doctor."

"Humor me," he said with a smile. This was the way he preferred it- if he were to simply inform him of his condition, denial would be very likely. Dr. Hopper recalled a patient, ex-military, who had paranoid schizophrenia; upon being told his psychosis, he became convinced that the American government was conspiring to make him believe that he was insane. When asked why the government would do such a thing, he replied saying,  _'they're afraid I'll expose military secrets to our enemies.'_

That's why, after years of practice, he devised a method that would diagnose the patient by guiding him indirectly to arrive at the conclusion himself. Unfortunately, the method didn't always succeed, but in this case, considering the man had a psychology background, he believed it would.

"If I recall," Sidney began, searching deep within his mind for the necessary information. "Schizophrenia is a mental disorder in which a person suffers from hallucinations, both auditory and visual, delusions, or beliefs held with strong conviction despite them being clearly false, and disorganized thought processes."

Dr. Hopper nodded, clearly satisfied with his answer. "Does any of that sound familiar to you?"

"What do you mean?" At the back of his head, something clicked, but he refused to acknowledge it.

"You told me James had a habit of magically showing up at the exact moment you needed him," he said softly as he put his papers aside and focused his attention entirely on Sidney. "Do you think you could call him now?"

"I suppose I could give it a try."

Moments later, James was back in the room and walking towards him, his smirk playful and all-too knowing. He didn't need to say anything. Sidney could hear him loud and clear.  _I thought you said you never wanted to see me again._  "James, this is Dr. Hopper. He wanted to meet you."

Dr. Hopper followed his line of vision, and as expected, saw no one. "Mr. Glass, is James here, now?"

 _Why was everyone around him so damn dense?_ "Yes," he sighed, exasperated. "He's standing right next to you."

"There's no one here, Mr. Glass."

"Of course there is, he's right-" but he didn't get to finish his sentence as the doctor stood up and walked right into James, and watched as James's figure flickered like a tiny flame, then vanished. He reappeared, feet away from the door, then suddenly faded away.

"Is he gone?" he asked, already sure of the answer. Despite Sidney's heavily bandaged face, he was still able to see the realization dawn on his face. "Do you understand now, Mr. Glass?"

"I'm…" his voice cracked as he spoke. His insides were in a state of chaos. Amongst the tumult of emotions overwhelming every cell in his body, anguish was the most domineering, and he found that he couldn't quite distinguish between the physical and the mental. "I'm a schizophrenic." It wasn't a question, merely a statement. An unwelcome truth. Perhaps not entirely a realization, but an acknowledgement of sorts.

It didn't make it hurt any less.

Sidney wondered how catastrophic his mind would seem to an outsider as his world fell apart. The worst thing about Schizophrenia, he always understood, was not being able to separate reality from imagination. And there he was, his very mind threatening to tear at the seams as he questioned every place, person and moment that ever meant  _something_  to him.

The true nightmare was finding out that those moments, people and places were not dead, not gone, but simply never existed.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone. I realize that some of you thought the last chapter was somewhat of a waste because it was focused on Sidney. I just thought I should clarify that its purpose was not to try to get you to sympathize with him. As a psychology student, I am very interested in people's state of mind and I wanted to try to explore that in this story. Trauma, especially childhood trauma, can affect people in multitudes of ways, and I thought it would be interesting to write about one possible scenario. But, this is first and foremost a SwanQueen fic, which means the focus will definitely be on our two ladies we love so much. 
> 
> Thank you for reading this story, and I hope you stick around to the end.

" _I have to show you," he whispered quietly, his belt now unbuckled. "No, I_ need  _to show you how much I love you."_

Regina jolted awake, dark hair plastered to her face and heart pounding, slamming against her ribs as if it were trying to escape from what was once its home but now turned prison. She reveled in the feeling, let it consume her, let it wash over her and crash into her body like waves crashed into rocks.

She reveled in it because, for the past week, the only time she ever felt anything was after waking up from her nightmare.

"But it wasn't a nightmare," she said, letting out a humorless laugh that portrayed exactly how she felt: lifeless, and indifferent.

She recalled the first night she woke up from it. She had wondered if she had been sleeping that whole time, if the events of the night before had never happened. She wondered if the nightmare was just that- a very realistic, harrowing one, but a nightmare nonetheless. As she had shifted in her bed, though, the flickers of light seeping through the curtains had fallen on her arms and highlighted the bruises that had begun flourishing into a deep bluish red.

It was all real.

Despite the evidence, she still wondered if it really happened. Otherwise, why would she feel so numb? She wished she could cry again, like that night with Emma; she wished she could cry all night because it felt  _so good_  and she needed to feel good again, she missed feeling good again.

 _Emma._ And for the very first time in their relationship, the name sparked two completely opposite emotions, affection  _and_  aversion. It was strange, at best; if she had been asked a week ago how she felt about her girlfriend, the latter wouldn't have been even considered.

She quickly pushed the thought of Emma away, not yet ready to address how she really felt about the whole thing, and instead went back to her nightmare.

_His knees were pinning her arms to her side, and his groin was rubbing against her stomach. Time was relative, and she had no idea if she was under him for a minute, or an hour. She bounced back between feeling fear and helplessness, and utter dissociation. She remembered experiencing both, but was unaware which prevailed in the end._

_Nothing happened…nothing happened,_ a soft mantra repeated over and over but her mind refused to listen.  _I stopped him, I pushed him off, nothing happened, I'm okay, nothing happened,_ but her emotions had peaked and she didn't have the strength to fight them. So, for now, she allowed herself to feel weak, and poignant.

Rationalizing the matter, despite her greatest efforts, did not help either. She was, first and foremost, a Psychologist. She understood precisely how assault victims felt and reacted, and she understood that she was going through the same thing. She didn't, however, understand why she couldn't control it.

Emotions felt by victims fell on a wide spectrum. She was experiencing a bit of everything, and although she understood the science of it, she didn't quite understand why she felt one emotion in particular. Guilt. It wasn't her fault that Mr. Glass attacked her, but what if she had led him on? What if she was the one that gave him the impression that she had feelings for him, even if she hadn’t meant to?

She didn't get the chance to scold herself for even considering such a ridiculous notion, as her phone began to ring. The sound triggered a flashback to a conversation she had with Emma begging her to always keep her phone near her and never on silent, even when sleeping, because  _God forbid_  Regina even have a single moment where she didn’t feel like she was being cosseted like a child.

Regina took a mental note to revisit the issue with her, and answered the phone quickly without checking the caller ID. "Hello?" she croaked, her sleepy voice a little raspier than usual. She cleared her throat before speaking again, "Hello?"

" _Yes, hello, Dr. Regina Mills?"_  a soft, unfamiliar voice spoke.

She looked at the time, debating whether she could reprimand the stranger for calling so early, but it was already past noon. "Speaking."

" _I hope I didn't wake you, Dr. Mills."_

"You didn't," she said swiftly, not really in the mood for pleasantries. "May I help you, Mister..?"

" _Dr. Archibald Hopper,"_ he paused. _"I'm calling from the Lemuel Shattuck Hospital Correctional Unit."_

She almost asked him to elaborate further, until she heard  _Correctional Unit_. "Is this about Mr. Glass?"

" _Yes, in fact, it is. I'm his appointed Psychiatrist at the-"_

"I beg your pardon," she interrupted in a flash of anger. "Why would  _he_  need a Psychiatrist?"

" _That is why I called, Dr. Mills. There has been a…"_ he paused, as if searching for the correct term to describe whatever _it_ was. _"…development, and I thought perhaps we could meet so I could explain the situation to you more fully."_

She took a deep breath, her fingers pinching the bridge of her nose. "I'm assuming this, whatever it may be, cannot be done over the phone?"

" _I'm afraid not,"_ he said softly _. "I really do apologize for the inconvenience, but it is rather imperative."_

"Fine."

" _Would 4pm this evening be okay?"_

She wanted to say it was short notice, that she couldn't make it, but with the semester being over, she had nothing better to do. "I suppose so."

" _Excellent. I'll see you soon."_

After hanging up, she considered calling Emma and letting her know, but she figured it would only serve to infuriate the blonde and spark a series of questions that she did not yet have the answer to _. I'll just call her afterwards_ , she thought.  _It's for the best._  At least, that's what she told herself.

* * *

 

Regina dreaded getting dressed; she was perfectly content with wearing loose yoga pants and camisoles for the past few days, and she found that she didn't really have the energy to dress up. She wondered why it wasn't socially acceptable to wear pajamas in public.

When she opened the doors to her walk-in closet, the dress she had worn on  _that_  night- a simple, skin tight black dress that came right above her knees- caught her eye, and she all but ran to it and yanked it from its hanger, crumpling it into a ball and throwing it somewhere she wouldn’t be able to see unless she actively looked for it.

It took her a little over three hours to get dressed, something that was quite unusual for her. She felt incredibly uncomfortable and everything she put on just felt… _wrong_. Staring at herself in the mirror, she wished more than anything she could step out of her own skin because, ever since that day, everything about her seemed… _tainted_.

 _Nothing happened_ , she thought again, desperate to feel like herself again. As she finally settled on a gray dress, she tried to remind herself that this was her lifestyle—the way she dressed and carried herself was something very significant to her, and the sooner she fell back into it, the better.

The sound of her heels clicking against the gravel as she made her way towards her car was too faint to overpower the growling of her stomach, but she tried to ignore it anyway. She didn't take the time to admonish herself for her appalling eating habits, or lack thereof—addressing such things would only serve to emphasize how not in control she was.  _I'm always in control._

She arrived at the Correctional Unit within half an hour, and when she checked her watch, she realized that she was ten minutes early.  _At least you're still punctual_ , she thought to herself. She found that, other than the security checkpoint set up after the entrance and the few guards patrolling around, the facility looked just like a public hospital.

A large, beefy man sat behind the reception counter, and she tried not to roll her eyes when he very openly gawked at her. "Good evening," she began, her tone stern. "I'm here to meet with Dr. Archibald Hopper."

It took the guard a few moments to tear his eyes away from probably the most attractive woman he had ever seen. After ruffling through papers on his desk, he finally found the one he was looking for. "Dr. Mills?" A quick nod was all he got. "Yes, he's already in his office waiting for you."

Regina took a look around and realized she would likely get lost in the facility if she tried to find the office on her own. Sighing, she asked the man, "Would you mind taking me to his office, please?"

He hastily stood up, his chair slamming against the wall behind him. "Yeah, sure, definitely."

"Thank you."

* * *

 

They had to go three floors up, and since there were no elevators, going up the stairs took a while. The stairs weren't really the issue, though…the guard was. He kept trying to start a conversation with her, and although she wasn't in the mood, she couldn't forsake her manners. _Your mother raised you better than that,_ she thought _._

"So what brings you to Lemuel Shattuck Hospital?"

"Dr. Hopper, of course," she replied flatly.

He chuckled, the sound deep and loud. "Yeah, I got that," he said, not taking the hint. "What are you meeting him for?"

She gave him a sideway glare. "It is a personal matter, I'm afraid."

"Oh, of course. Yeah, totally. Didn't mean to pry or anything…" he blabbered on, and Regina felt like she had been a little too curt with him.  _Not all men are Sidney Glass_ , she tried to remind herself.

So when they finally arrived to Dr. Hopper's office, she turned around and gave the guard the best smile she could muster, albeit fake, and said, "Thank you, officer."

The man looked like he was about to self-combust. "You-you're welcome, Dr. Mills."

When she was sure he was making his way downstairs, she knocked three time and waited for a reply. A second later, the door swung open, and a man looking too cheerful to be in a place like this stood ahead. "Dr. Mills, I presume?" he smiled, his hand quickly extending out in greeting.

"Yes, hello," she returned the smile, and she was surprised to note that it felt genuine. "It's nice to meet you."

"Likewise," he said as he stepped aside to let her in. "Please, come in. Have a seat." When she did, he shut the door and made his way back to his desk. He grabbed a file and opened it, and though his face became serious, his smile still somehow remained. "So, as you already know, I asked you here to discuss the condition of Sidney Glass."

She began to nod, but stopped half-way, her brows furrowing. "Condition?"

Dr. Hopper flipped quickly through the pages before he landed on the one he needed. "I was called in to perform a psychiatric evaluation on him after he was witnessed talking to himself by several people."

Regina remained silent, waiting for the doctor to finish his explanation.

"Upon doing so, I arrived at the conclusion that Mr. Glass suffers from Schizophrenia. Quite severe, actually. Severe enough that he often cannot distinguish delusion from reality."

She wondered if the shock was evident on her face, or if it was completely internal. Shock was the first thing she felt, then confusion, then disappointment in herself for not being able to see it.  _What a great Psychologist you are_ , she thought bitterly.

Regina didn't say anything, yet Dr. Hopper somehow knew exactly what she was thinking. "It wasn't something easy to spot," he continued. "He himself did not know it, and so had no reason to pretend or to hide."

"I see," she whispered solemnly. "I suppose you can't disclose any details due to doctor-patient confidentiality."

"Normally, yes, I wouldn't be able to. But in this case, Mr. Glass waived that privilege as a way to apologize for what he had done. He asked me to explain everything to you in hopes that you'd somehow forgive him."

She was torn between laughing and smashing something against the wall. Instead, she simply nodded and said, "I will listen to what you have to say, but I make no promises." She couldn't begin to fathom forgiving the man, but she felt that she owed it to herself to know everything there was to know about this situation.

His smile returned. "That's very kind of you, Dr. Mills." He waited for a response, but when Regina stayed quiet, he continued. "I can't be sure, but my hypothesis is that the Schizophrenia was first triggered by his parents' death. Do you know about the incident?"

Shaking her head, she stated, "I know they died when he was a young boy, but I am not aware of the particulars."

Dr. Hopper's face grew somber. "They were murdered," he paused for effect. "By a serial killer known as The Puppeteer; the man had killed six families, always sparing the son, before he was caught. Should I spare you the gory details, Dr. Mills?"

"No," she said firmly. "I would like to know everything."

"The man was given up by his parents when he was a child and was never adopted. Because of that, he became fixated on families that all had one thing in common, a single son. When he was young, he was content with simply spying on people in public places, like parks and playgrounds. But as he grew older, he decided that simply watching was no longer enough for him.

"His first kill was messy, showing clearly his lack of experience, but he learned quickly. By the time he got to his fifth family, which was Mr. Glass's, he had become a master. He restrained the young Mr. Glass and made him watch as he killed his parents then mutilated them.

"He had passed out from the fear and shock, and when he awoke, found himself between his parents, both kneeling with their arms extended around him. They were strewn up with wires to keep them in that position, just like human puppets."

Regina didn’t realize she was holding her breath until she began feeling light-headed from the lack of air. Her thoughts were running wildly, and of all the phrases and words stored in her mind, nothing appropriate seemed to emerge. She tried to find something, anything to say, but it all sounded feeble and…wrong. "I…" she trailed.

"It's a lot to take in," the Doctor tried to say, but they both knew there was no right answer, no  _appropriate_  response to something like that.

After several moments of silence, Dr. Hopper continued, "My theory is that that incident was what triggered his condition, though the hallucinations did not begin until he was in high school. That was when he met-"

"James," she finished, recalling the conversation she had with Emma about the football coach. It all made perfect sense now. She wished it had earlier. "His best friend, James, is a hallucination."

"Yes, how did you know that?" he asked, curious. Unless Sidney had tried to personally introduce them to each other, it wouldn't have been very easy to deduce.

"Mr. Glass had told me the football coach at Harvard was his friend," she sighed. "I had mentioned it to my girlfriend one night and she had informed me that the coach was called Freddie, not James, and that he had been for eight years."

"I see. That would cause suspicion."

"I was planning on asking him about it…" she trailed. "He didn't seem like the type of person to lie. Maybe if I had…"

He gave her a reassuring smile. "The past is in the past, Dr. Mills. Saying 'if' only gives birth to pain and regret, and I believe we already have more than enough of that in our lives.”

She nodded, realizing she was liking the doctor more and more.

"That being said, there's one more thing I'd like you to hear." When she nodded again, he went on. "After evaluating Mr. Glass thoroughly, I concluded that, although he is mentally unstable, he isn't completely insane. He is intelligent and can very clearly feel remorse, and most importantly, he had no idea he was sick to begin with.

"If he had family, or friends, his condition would've been noticed at an earlier age. But seeing that he was somewhat isolated, a loner if you may, it took over two decades to bring to light." He took a deep breath, then closed the file, "I was wondering if you would consider dropping the charges against him."

She couldn't say she didn't see that coming, especially after the discussion they had, but that didn't stop her from feeling shocked by the request, if not a little indignant. She sat back in her chair, contemplating. "If I do not drop the charges, what would happen?"

"Unfortunately, the state does not recognize the 'he didn't know' plea, and thus would most likely send him to the Bridgewater State Hospital for the criminally insane. And let me just say, the facility's history is not the brightest."

"No, of course not," she responded, disgusted by the notion. "That facility has faced multiple lawsuits due to abuse, unnecessary forceful restraints and for trying to conceal procedural accidents. The reason it is still functioning evades me- they should have shut it down years ago."

He nodded gravely, thankful that she was aware of the hospital's reputation.

She sighed heavily, surprised with herself that she was even considering it. "Would he still get treatment? Or would he be free to go and do as he pleased?"

"There's a facility, a mental rehab center of sorts, which has great Psychiatrists and offers housing for their patients. If he refuses to go willingly, though I doubt he would, I could have him forcibly admitted based on my psych evaluation. In addition, he would be required to spend a minimum of five years in this facility, with the possibility of increasing this sentence if I or the other psychiatrists see fit."

From a psychological point of view, Regina felt sorry for the man. Still, forgiveness was not yet feasible for her. She wanted to tell the doctor that she would think about it, but she knew that time spent contemplating would only agitate her further. Instead, she took a moment to weigh her options and think about what would be best for her in the long run.

If she did press charges, she would likely have to testify in court against him, and though she wasn't an expert in law, she knew that the procedure would be costly, tedious and time-consuming. If she dropped the charges, the man would receive treatment and would move on to live his life like nothing happened.

Was she okay with his actions going unpunished? She was able to defend herself thanks to her training sessions with Emma, but what if she wasn't?

_Emma._

She needed to discuss this with Emma…right? She owed her that much. She wanted more than anything to reach for her phone and call her right then and there, but as she did so, her decision was made. She almost didn't recognize her voice when she spoke, "I'll drop them. I'll drop the charges."

"Really?" the doctor couldn't hide the astonishment in his voice. He knew her decision could have been either or, but he was still shocked to hear her answer.

"Yes," she said quickly, before she could consider changing her mind. "I just want this whole thing behind me, and I feel like dropping the charges would be the best option to help me move on."

He couldn't keep his smile from emerging, his admiration for the woman multiplying.

"You trust this facility, correct?"

"I really do. I know most of the doctors and staff there, and I'm certain Mr. Glass will receive the best treatment he can."

She stood up, hoping to finalize the meeting. "Then I suppose we are done here."

"Almost, yes," he said as he shuffled some papers around. "There are just a couple of forms you need to sign before you leave."

"I understand," she said, trying not to think about whether she just made a tremendous mistake. When he handed the papers over, her eyebrow arched questioningly, a faint smile on her lips. "You had them ready?"

He returned it, his grin candid. "I was optimistic."

When she stood again, she took a deep breath then spoke, "I hope he understands that I do not wish to see him again, and that my dropping the charges does not mean he has my forgiveness. I am doing this to facilitate my recovery. I hope he knows that, from this point on, it will be as though he had merely never existed." She didn't say it harshly nor with rage. It was a simple statement, a matter of fact.

"Of-of course," he stuttered, a little taken aback. In that moment, the weakness and frailty he would expect from a victim was nowhere to be seen, only strength. He wondered if that strength was constant. As she turned around to leave, he quickly added, "Dr. Mills, I wonder if you've considered seeing a therapist after the…incident?"

"I hadn't given it much thought.” She knew that it was quite normal for psychologists to have their own therapists. Not her, though. Not _Regina Mills_. 

"I hope you would consider coming to see me," he said tentatively. "Not here, of course, I have another office not far from here, and it's definitely less unsettling."

She took his business card as he handed it to her and nodded. "Thank you, Dr. Hopper."

"I hope to see you soon."

* * *

 

After she got out of her car, Regina found a very distressed blonde pacing back and forth on her porch. "Emma, dear, how long have you been waiting there? Why didn't you call?"

Emma was fuming, and Regina suddenly felt speechless, unaccustomed to this sight. "I did call. Six times. Six times, Regina, and you didn't answer. Where the hell have you been?"

She pulled out her phone from her purse and found that there were, in fact, several missed calls. Regina tried to remain calm, "I had a meeting with someone and I forgot to put it off silent."

"With who? Why didn't you let me know? I've been worried sick, Regina!"

"I understand," and she really did. She could have at least sent her a text to let her know. Despite that, she didn't appreciate the way Emma was acting. "I'm sorry," she apologized anyway. "I was planning on calling you as soon as I reached home."

Emma went silent for a moment, her fists clenching and unclenching. "Are you okay?"

"I'm perfectly fine, dear," she stated. "Shall we?"

By the time Regina had changed into something more comfortable, Emma had calmed down considerably. She replayed the scene outside the house over and over, and she was aware that she might have _slightly_  overreacted.

 _Did I, really?_ She wondered. She called Regina several times but she didn't answer, and when she got to the mansion, no one was there. She couldn't enter to check on Regina either, because she didn't have a key, and she was too agitated to notice that Regina's car was not in the driveway.

Emma was so overwhelmed with concern that she feared she would pass out. The different scenarios running through her mind, no matter how ridiculous, were terrifying to say the least. First, she was afraid Regina had somehow slipped in the bathroom and cracked her skull open because she was too busy thinking about the assault. Then, she became convinced that Sidney Glass somehow escaped prison and had come back to finish the job. In any case, one thing was always constant: Regina would need help, and Emma would not be there to provide it.

She sighed.

"Is everything okay?" Regina asked as she walked into the kitchen, seeing the blonde's head in her hands and hearing her heavy sigh.

She looked up, smiling softly at the subject of her every thought. "Yeah," she assured. "Yeah, everything's fine. I'm sorry about earlier, I was just really-"

"Worried, yes" Regina finished. "I gathered as much. It's my fault, really. I should have called you as soon as my meeting ended."

She wanted to say,  _yeah, it really was,_ but she knew what happened on the porch upset Regina, even if she didn't say anything, and she didn't want to make it any worse. "What was that about?"

When Regina finally finished, Emma looked just about ready to bash someone's face in, probably Sidney's. "Regina, how could you make a decision like that without discussing it with me first?!" Her voice rose, her entire body shaking with anger and disbelief.

Regina's eyes widened, completely taken aback by the outburst. She wanted to tell Emma that she did consider talking to her about it when she was still with Dr. Hopper, but the way the blonde reacted bothered her. In the back of her mind, she understood why Emma was angry, but that didn’t stop her from saying what she said. "Excuse me, but this decision has nothing to do with you. It affected me personally and my mind is set."

She faltered, her mind struggling to comprehend Regina's words. "How could you say that…?"

Regina instantly regretted it. Throughout their relationship, they had never fought like this, never hurt each other like this, and they had grown to know each other so well, so fully, that they understood each other without the use of words.

Circumstances change, however, and after the assault, there had been a subtle, albeit clear, disconnection between them. It wasn't Emma's fault, Regina was certain. But it wasn't hers either- it was just the circumstances.

Emma had been by her side always, but her worrying and endless need to check on her only served to make her feel worse, not better. That, coupled with the way Emma looked at her now, her eyes tormented with concern and pity, made her feel fragile and weak. She abhorred it.

She missed how every streak of emerald and chestnut in Emma's eyes was dripping with love and utter desire, and she missed those subtle but comforting touches they shared, like a simple pat on the back, or the stroke of a finger.

Emma was so convinced that if she touched her she would break on contact, but Regina was stronger than that, and she had hoped that Emma knew that better than anyone. That night Sidney Glass attacked her, the feeling of helplessness was so devastating that she promised she would never allow herself to feel that way again.

That's why when she was given the choice between sending the man to prison or to a mental rehab facility, she couldn't help but feel empowered. The fate of a man lay in her hands, and at that moment, helplessness felt entirely foreign to her.

Emma, by constantly worrying, seemed to remind her of it every day.

"I think you made a huge mistake, Regina. Can't you go back and change your mind? That sex-crazed animal deserves to be restrained and behind bars! He doesn't deserve freedom!"

Regina could see Emma's heart breaking before her eyes as she spoke the words, "I think we need a break."

"What?" Emma suddenly felt like she was being submerged in an ocean consisting solely of Regina's words, suffocating her, drowning her. "Where is this coming from?"

She couldn't breathe.

"I just think I need a little space, that's all. I know you mean well and you're just worried about me, but it's… stifling," Regina's voice softened as she approached her, her hand reaching over to cover Emma's white-knuckled fist. "I care for you, but I-"

"Need a little space," she said flatly as she stepped away from Regina. "Got it." She tried her best to avoid Regina's eyes, she knew if their eyes met, she would probably break down on the spot. So, she spun around and made her way towards the door. As she was about to shut it behind her, she turned and looked at Regina with piercing eyes and whispered, "My heart is yours, and that will never change."

That night, Regina cried again, but what she felt was closer to agony than anything.

* * *

 

When Sidney woke up that night from the same nightmare he always had, James was taking a nap on the chair beside his bed. He almost felt sorry for him, that chair looked very uncomfortable, until he remembered that James didn't actually exist.

"Hey, buddy," his friend managed to say through a deep yawn. "You're finally up, how are you feeling?"

Sidney sighed, and the simple motion caused him to hiss in pain due to his broken ribs. "Why are you here, James? You're not real."

James smiled, his blue eyes glinting brightly in the dark. "I'm as real as you want me to be, Sid."

"I don't want you to be," he declared, shutting his eyes tightly and hoping the hallucination would go away. It didn't.

James's grinning face was inches apart from his. "Sorry, buddy. You can't get rid of me that easily."

"What do you want, James?" he asked again, the encounter already exhausting him both mentally and physically. "I'm too tired to have a conversation with you."

"Relax," James said as he patted his head. "I'm just here to congratulate you. I heard Regina dropped the charges against you and you're going to be a free man soon."

"Not free, per se. But yes, she did drop the charges." Sidney wished he could personally apologize for what he'd done, and thank her for her kindness, but he knew she wouldn't want him near her. He understood that.

"That's awesome, Sid! You should be happier, more excited!"

"I attacked the woman I thought I loved after being urged to do so by the only person I ever cared about who, a couple of days ago, I found out was merely a hallucination. There is nothing worth celebrating here, James. There is only shame and regret." _I don’t deserve her forgiveness_.

"But she dropped the charges!" James persisted. "She must love you!"

Sidney violently shook his head from side to side, his eyes squeezing painfully shut. When he opened them, he was more than relieved to see that James was no longer there. Then he whispered, more to himself than anyone else, "She doesn't love me, she loves Emma Swan."


	18. Chapter 18

The first thought that came to Regina's mind when she woke up was that last night never happened; her and Emma hadn't fought, hadn't said hurtful things to one another, hadn't broken up. But when she caught her reflection in the mirror and saw her bloodshot eyes staring back, she knew crying herself to sleep was very much a reality.

It took every ounce of her being not to call Emma and apologize, not to tell her that she made a colossal mistake and that she simply overreacted, but deep down she knew she really needed the space. For as long as she could remember, Regina was always the type of person who preferred healing alone, and God only knew how much of that she needed to do. Emma, being the person she was, felt the obligation to help Regina, to pick up the shattered pieces and put her back together, but for her, Emma was only getting in the way.

Regina, of course, couldn't possibly ask Emma to change, because she loved her for everything that she was—taking a break seemed the most obvious and effective course of action. She was utterly conscious of the reasons behind her decision, but that didn't stop her from regretting it. It also didn't stop her from having the blonde's parting words unceasingly repeat in her mind.

_My heart is yours, and that will never change._

She tried fighting the tears threatening to cascade down her cheeks but to no avail, and instead found herself welcoming the sobs and the aching, of her heart, of her very soul, like an old friend.

Regina was prepared to spend the rest of the day, if not the week, laying right there in her bed and crying until exhaustion was too great to bear, but her wallowing was cut short by the sound of her phone vibrating beside her.

She tried desperately to keep her hand from trembling as she reached for it. She cleared her throat, once, twice, then answered, "Hello?"

" _Dr. Mills, I hope I didn't wake you."_

Regina didn't need to check her caller ID to recognize the friendly voice speaking to her. "Not at all, Dr. Hopper. What can I do for you?"

" _I just thought you'd like to know that Mr. Glass was very cooperative and agreed to be relocated to the rehabilitation facility. He is currently in the process of being transferred there until further notice."_

"Oh, that was quite fast, wasn't it?" She didn't expect for the matters to be resolved so quickly, but she supposed this would aid in speeding her healing process—at least, she really hoped to God it would.

Chuckling, he said _, "Well, yes. The police only take a while when they are required to work, but when it involves transferring work over to someone else, in this case releasing Mr. Glass from custody, then they are quite swift."_

"Ah, I see," she tried to laugh, but the sound died in her throat. Sighing, she said, " Thank you for letting me know, Dr. Hopper."

" _Of course, it's the least I could do."_

Regina wanted to say her goodbyes and hang up. She was so focused on that that she almost didn't recognize her own voice when she spoke, "Dr. Hopper, does your offer still stand?"

It took a moment for him to register what she meant before he quickly responded,  _"Yes, certainly."_  He sounded far too happy.  _"When would you like to meet?"_

Was she really in the process of hiring a psychiatrist?  _I need this,_ she thought.  _For me._ "Do you have an opening today?"

" _As luck would have it, someone just cancelled a minute ago. Would 4:30pm suit you?"_

"Yes, that would be perfect." She took a deep breath before continuing, "I'll see you then."

_For me, and for Emma._

* * *

 

Ruby wasn't the kind of person to get worried so easily. In fact, sometimes she was so careless that it bothered her, but when a couple of days had passed with no sign of Emma, she couldn't help the feeling that something was terribly off. So, after calling her and leaving countless voice mails that were left unanswered, she decided she couldn't wait any longer.

With every knock, Ruby grew wearier, and she began to think that maybe Emma was not home after all. But just as she turned around to leave, a faint  _click_ caught her attention and she quickly spun around to find a very exhausted, disheveled looking Emma.

"Emma, what the hell?!" she squeaked as she ran towards her. "Do you know how long I've been waiting out here?" Ruby waited for a response, but Emma remained silent, her eyes fixed somewhere on the floor. "And why do you look like shit? When was the last time you showered? Or changed your clothes?"

She continued her barrage of questions as she pushed past Emma, but just when she was about to ask another one, the sight before her stopped her in her tracks. The once immaculate loft was now littered with empty beer bottles, and as she turned around, she was greeted with a stained wall and what looked like a thousand pieces of shattered glass lay beneath it.

When she looked at Emma again, she realized that her state was far worse than she could have imagined. The blonde's usually vibrant eyes now looked bloodshot and desolate, and though it had only been a few days since the last time she saw her, she looked somewhat smaller, frailer.

Emma not only hadn't showered in days, she hadn't slept or ate anything either, and there was no way she could hide it. "I look pretty bad, huh?" she tried to say jokingly, but when she finally looked up and met Ruby's anxious but determined gaze, she knew she had nowhere to run.

"Emma, you have to tell me what's going on," Ruby demanded, not taking a moment to worry about whether she was overstepping her boundaries or being too forceful. Emma was her friend, and that was all that mattered to her right now.

Emma sighed heavily, then made her way towards the couch. She quickly pushed the bottles off before motioning for Ruby to join her and said, "I guess I should start from the beginning."

Ruby nodded, relieved that Emma wouldn't need much convincing. "I've got all day, hon. Take all the time you need."

Taking a deep breath, she began, "Have you heard about Professor Mills being assaulted by…" she trailed, a fresh wave of anger threatening to bubble over as she recalled Sidney Glass, "One of her students."

Ruby's brows furrowed, not quite seeing the connection between that terrible incident and Emma's current state. "Well, yeah. I'm pretty sure everyone heard about it."

"Regina and I are…were, we were dating." The sentence was said matter-of-factly—no tears, no emotion. Not to say that Emma was not hurting, on the contrary; she was…she had been hurting for so long that she no longer had the energy to keep it up. She was convinced that her tear ducts were no longer functioning, and that her heart was forever lost.

But then again, that couldn't be true, because her heart would splinter and break anew with every mention of  _her_  name.

Ruby didn't have the time to react to the revelation—were it under any other circumstances, the dark-haired beauty would have cheered Emma on, would have patted her on the back and said,  _good job on dating the hottest professor in college._ But that wasn't what Emma needed right now; it was clear that Emma was deeply in love with this woman, and she had broken her heart. "You guys broke up? Why?"

Emma went on with her story, telling her friend all about the fight she had with Regina and the reason behind it.

"Yeah, but she said you guys should take a break, right? Maybe it's not over yet," Ruby tried to say with a smile.

Emma laughed, though the sound that normally brought so much life to her surroundings was absent. "Come on, Rubes. You and I both know there are no such things as breaks, only break ups."

And Ruby knew that, more than anyone, but she had never seen her friend so broken before, and she couldn't stand the sight of her hurting. To Ruby, the whole fight sounded completely ridiculous; all Emma wanted was to be there for Regina, to help her heal, but the woman ended things because she needed her space? It made no sense to her, but she couldn't say that to Emma. It would only make things worse.

So, for now, she was going to remain by Emma's side as long as she needed her. But tomorrow, she was heading towards a certain professor's house to give her a piece of her mind.

* * *

 

Regina didn't know what to expect as she made her way to Dr. Hopper's office building. She was just hoping it wouldn't look anything like his office at the Correctional Unit, otherwise she wasn't quite sure she would have the nerve to continue.

When the automatic glass doors slid open, letting her into a small but luxurious reception area, a relieved sigh escaped Regina's quivering lips. The place looked…cozy, and the soft colors of orange and teal had Regina relaxing almost immediately. She slowly made her way towards the receptionist, a young brunette with piercing blue eyes, and smiled politely before saying, "Hello, I have an appointment with Dr. Hopper."

The woman responded with a grin of her own, and quickly checked the appointment book to confirm the name. "Dr. Regina Mills?"

"Yes," she nodded.

"Dr. Hopper is ready for you. His office is down the hall, to your left."

The short amount of time it took Regina to reach his office was more than enough to bring back her feelings of fear and uncertainty. Her life was never easy, and she had gone through so much, but she never felt the need to hire a Psychiatrist.

_What if this was a mistake?_

Her hand wouldn't stop trembling as she lifted it up to knock on the door; her breathing quickened and she suddenly felt very lightheaded. She was just about ready to turn around and run out of the building when the door before her slowly creaked open.

"Dr. Mills," the soft voice greeted her. "I can't quite explain it, but I had a feeling you were hesitating outside my office." His smile was friendly, almost hypnotic, and Regina couldn't help but mirror it.

She laughed softly, both the action and the noise sounding utterly foreign to her. "I was," she admitted. "Perhaps this wasn't a good idea after all."

Dr. Hopper stepped back and opened the door wider, hoping to seem even more inviting. "Dr. Mills, please. A 45-minute session won't hurt," he said as he made his way back to his chair. "If, at any time, you feel that you are uncomfortable, or that you no longer wish to proceed, you are free to leave. I would never force you to do anything against your will."

Regina didn't know how to respond, so instead, she nodded quietly and followed him inside. One session wouldn't kill her, right?

When she finally sat down across from him, Dr. Hopper reached for his phone and set his timer to alert him after an hour and a half had passed. Perhaps Regina didn't know it yet, but Dr. Hopper was certain that she would need the extra time, and he was more than happy to give it to her.

"So," he began as he reached for the notebook and pen on the table before him. "How are you doing, Dr. Mills?"

"Please, call me Regina." She wasn't quite sure why she said it, but something about Dr. Hopper made her feel at ease, an emotion she hadn't felt in a while, and she couldn't help but welcome it.

"Regina," he smiled, both surprised and pleased with the brunette's words. Being acquainted with the woman's situation and having dealt with her assailant first-hand, he felt his help would be quite useful. However, he could also tell from the single encounter he had with Regina that she was incredibly private, and disliked showing weakness. This meant opening up to a psychiatrist would prove difficult, so the fact she was comfortable enough to be on a first name basis was definitely a good start.

"I am fine, I think," she tried to lie, but she wasn't very convincing. She knew she could do better, but she was just too exhausted to try. She was too exhausted to do almost anything, really. "That is a lie," she sighed heavily. "I am not fine at all."

"I would imagine it would be a while before you are anywhere near it, after what you went through," Dr. Hopper spoke, his tone low and understanding. "But you need to know that that is completely normal, and you shouldn't feel discouraged."

 _Oh God,_  Regina thought.  _What a typical thing to say._  She tried not to face palm at her own absurdity.  _What else did you expect?_ "I'm afraid that wasn't what I was referring to, Dr. Hopper. Well, it is certainly a part of it, but the truth is…" she trailed, debating whether she should go on or not. It made no sense to dance around it; she came here hoping to get better, for both her and Emma. "I broke up with my partner yesterday."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," he said while scribbling something onto his notebook. "Would you like to talk about it?"

"No. Well…yes, but I…" she stuttered. She hated stuttering—it was unrefined, and Regina was nothing if not refined. "I wouldn't know where to begin." Wasn't therapy supposed to make her feel better? Regina was feeling doubtful, afraid, impatient, but definitely not better. She wondered how long it would take for her to feel like herself again.

"How about you start by telling me why you two broke up? Was she not supportive? Did you feel as though she wasn't taking as good care of you as she should? You know, after what you went through…"

"What? No, not at all," Regina quickly defended. How could she tell him that the reason they broke up was because she needed space without sounding like an absolute jerk? Because Emma, her lovely Emma, was too caring? Too gentle? "It was my fault," she admitted, her voice barely a whisper. "I couldn't handle her coddling, her constant need to make sure I was alright. It made me feel…"

"Frail? Like you could break at any second?"

"Precisely."

"Regina, your reaction, though seemingly unpleasant, is completely natural. Many assault victims feel the need to isolate themselves from others, especially their loved ones. And for someone like you, who I assume is unaccustomed to being dependent on anyone, detaching yourself was the only logical solution. You prefer to heal alone," he paused, wrote something down, and then continued, "I'm sure you, having studied and taught Psychology, understand that more than anyone."

 _Relief_ , absolute and utter relief. The feeling washed over her entire body, but though it was powerful, it was also tender. Yes, she was perfectly aware of the reactions victims usually had, but somehow that knowledge wasn't strong enough to prevent her from doubting herself, her emotions. She wondered if Dr. Hopper could see the effect his words had on her, or if it was all internal. She wondered how he could possibly voice her feelings so clearly, when she herself was unable to do so.

"Regina?" he murmured after the woman's silence stretched on for a little too long. "Are you alright?"

"What? Oh, yes. I'm fine. I was just a little taken aback by what you said. When I asked Emma for some space, I knew it was what was best for me, but that didn't stop me from regretting the decision."

Dr. Hopper nodded solemnly. "That is understandable, and although some might view it as a selfish act, sometimes you need to put yourself first. It doesn't mean you don't love her—you do love her, right?"

"Yes," she said without hesitation. "It’s difficult to put into words, but I don't think I've ever felt this strongly about anyone before."

"Then I don't see why this shouldn't all work out in the end," he said with a smile.

"What do you mean?" Regina asked, confused. She had asked Emma for a break, but somewhere deep down, she knew it was over between them. She had no idea of knowing how long it would take her to get back to normal, for her to be touched without flinching, for her to walk through her doorway without having a flashback of being pinned to the floor, weak and helpless. Hoping to see Emma waiting for her at the end of the line was just too unrealistic. She knew better.

Looking down on his notebook, Dr. Hopper spoke, almost to himself, "Though it might sound absurd, I believe that if two people are meant to be, then they will be."

Regina wanted to believe that so desperately it made her heart ache, but she was pragmatic, and couldn't possibly imagine things working out in her favor. "Perhaps," she sighed heavily.

Sensing the woman's uncertainty regarding the matter, Dr. Hopper quickly interjected. "But let us focus on you for now. Do you feel comfortable enough to talk about Sidney Glass, Regina?"

"Must we?" she groaned, trying incredibly hard not to panic at the mention of the man's name. "I was perfectly content with not discussing him for the rest of my life."

"You and I both know that avoiding the subject would only obstruct your healing process, not aid it."

And he was right, she knew that. Beneath the surface, Regina's very being felt like a battlefield. This whole situation, much to her displeasure, was making her do and say things that were entirely uncharacteristic of her, and she hated it. She was a Psychologist, for God's sake. She had a PhD, and she was an established professor at Harvard University. She studied this, she knew everything there was to know about sexual assault and how to deal with it. Yet, here she was, sitting across from a Psychiatrist, because she failed at treating herself.

Regina suddenly found herself overwhelmed by a single, gut-wrenching emotion: incompetence.

She wanted to throw up.

Dr. Hopper, noticing the color drain from her face and her arms squeezing tightly around herself, hastily got up and moved towards her. As he placed his hand on her shoulder, he noticed it was trembling. "Regina?" he tried to direct her attention back to him, but to no avail. "Regina, what's wrong? Are you okay?"

Regina's entire body was shaking almost violently now, and as she tried to get up, the heavy chair threatening to topple backwards due to the sheer force of her movement, she was struggling to remain upright.

It was happening again.

* * *

 

 _Regina wasn't quite sure what was happening to her. She recalled lingering for a little too long in the area leading to her doorway, where she was almost knocked out by the devastating impact of the flashback—of her arms and torso being pinned down beneath his weight, of her assailant attempting to violate her to_ prove his love.

 _Regina suddenly couldn't breathe. God, she couldn't_ breathe _. She tried to hold on to something, to anything, but the large expanse of emptiness was spinning around her and everything was out of focus. Every time she reached out, her hand was unable to touch anything but air, and the action only reinforced her terror._

 _The feelings of fear and anxiety were crushing, and her body was paralyzed by it._ This isn't real, _she tried to chant._ Nothing happened, I am safe.  _But the words had no effect. She lurched forward into the living room, trying desperately to gulp some, all of the air around her and force it into her lungs, urging them, demanding that they function properly, but the action only seemed to obstruct her trachea even more, suffocating her._

I'm dying, _Regina thought._

_She was almost convinced of it until strong arms suddenly wrapped around her midsection, pulling her backwards._

" _Regina, listen to me."_

 _The panic she had felt at the intrusion instantly subsided when Emma's voice filtered in through the haze, when she realized it was her arms, not_ his _, holding her close._

_She pushed back against the blonde, her trembling hands enclosing so tightly around Emma's arms as though holding on for dear life, and in a way, she was. "Emma, I can't," she gasped, the sound almost dying in her throat. "I can't breathe."_

_Emma pulled her even closer before whispering, "I know. Just listen to me, Regina. Concentrate on my voice."_

_Regina tried to respond, tried to let her know that she was, but her voice was reduced to a low rasp._

" _Listen to me," Emma said again. "Focus on your breathing." She placed her hand flat on Regina's stomach and pressed in. "Stay in the present, you can get through this."_

_Regina nodded, the area under Emma's palm moving inwards as she tried to inhale deeply. But the action induced a coughing fit, and she was wheezing once again._

_Emma's palm pressed harder against her abdomen, her voice low but stern as she murmured, "Regina, I know you are afraid. You have every right to be. But you are safe. Whatever happened, happened, but you are safe now. I got you." When she felt Regina's body slightly relax against her, she brought her lips closer to her ear and softly whispered, "Now, breathe."_

_Regina gasped, but this time her lungs seemed to respond to the air being sucked into them._

" _Breathe, Regina. I got you."_

_The next breath filled her completely, and as the air coursed through her, she was able to regain control of her body._

" _Good," Emma's voice, always gentle, always comforting. "You did great, Regina. You're okay." When she was sure Regina was strong enough to stand on her own, she tried to move away, not wanting to make her uncomfortable by her proximity._

_To her surprise, though, Regina's hold only tightened around her arms, pressing her back against Emma's chest. "Stay."_

_Emma couldn't help her lips from quivering as she spoke the single word, "Always."_

* * *

 

Regina inhaled deeply as Emma's soft voice enveloped her completely.  _Regina, concentrate on my voice._  It was so clear, so distinct, that Regina was certain that the blonde was right there with her. When the office door came into focus, Regina fell against it for support.

_Breathe, Regina. I got you._

Another gasp and she was able to breathe again, and though her body was still trembling, it wasn't as violent as it was initially.

"Regina, are you alright?" Dr. Hopper ran to her, his concern almost palpable.

Straightening up, Regina inhaled deeply, then exhaled, before replying, "Yes, it was just another—"

"Anxiety attack," he completed. "Did you say another? Is this to say you've had one before?" Dr. Hopper was taken aback by the incident. He knew having one after what Regina went through was highly probable, he just never expected it to happen in his office. And he never expected her to handle it so… _well_.

She nodded, her back still pressed against the door.

"How did you overcome it then? How did you overcome it now? I've never seen anyone snap out of an anxiety attack so quickly. You almost made it look easy."

"Emma," her voice barely a whisper. "She was there at the time…she helped me get through it."

Just when Dr. Hopper was about to ask another question, his phone began to chime, signaling the end of their session. Reaching for the phone, he was actually considering extending the time further, but an alert reminded him of an appointment with another patient.

He sighed, "I'm afraid this is the end of our session, Regina. I would love to give you more time, but I'm expecting someone any minute now."

"I understand, Dr. Hopper," she said, fully regaining her composure. She extended out her arm and shook his hand. "Thank you for your time."

As he walked her out of his office, he tentatively asked, "Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m perfectly fine,” she replied calmly, as though she hadn’t just gone through a full-blown anxiety attack right in front of him.

“Should I expect you to make another appointment soon?"

Regina hesitated before nodding, "I will speak to the receptionist."

"Excellent."

* * *

 

Regina tried her best to stifle the panic that arose in her chest at the sound of her doorbell ringing. She wasn't expecting anyone.  _Who could it be?_  As she descended the steps, the sound of her heart beating seemed to echo through the empty mansion. It was deafening.

Looking through the peephole, she found a tall brunette nervously pacing her porch on the other side.

Ruby wasn't really sure what to say. She knew she was probably going to shout, maybe even curse the woman that broke her best friend's heart. She had one objective in mind, and that was to knock some sense into this selfish woman. But when the door opened, she was suddenly hit with a strong wave of déjà vu— Regina Mills looked exactly the way Emma looked.

"May I help you?" the woman's raspy voice caught Ruby's attention.

 _God, she looks even worse than Emma,_  she thought. What should she say? Should she just turn around and leave? She didn't have the heart to shout at Regina anymore, not when she looked like that. "Uhm…My name's Ruby Lucas, and—" she began.

"You're a friend of Emma's," she quickly said, her surprise evident. "What are you doing here?"

 _Okay, this was a huge mistake._ Was it too late to get out of it?

Regina wasn't quite sure what was going on, but somehow she knew that Ruby had something she wanted to say. She took a step back and opened the door wider. "Would you like to come in?"

Maybe she’d be able to talk to her about Emma.

Maybe the longing that was consuming her heart would abate if she did.


	19. Chapter 19

Ruby was confused, to say the least. When she was driving to the mansion, she had one sole purpose in mind, and that was to knock some sense into the cause of Emma's misery. But when Regina opened the door, looking quite possibly like misery itself, whatever she had planned quickly dissipated.

She had never seen this woman in anything but tightly fitted dresses and pantsuits, with perfectly coiffed hair and applied make up. Thus, seeing her in this state, hair not entirely in order, dressed in a silk robe and face bare, leaving her sleep-deprived features very much on display, seemed greatly out of character to Ruby.

The woman was an absolute mess.

As she followed Regina inside, she couldn't help but admire the interior of the professor's house. High ceilings and chandeliers, beautifully crafted carpets and furniture. Everything was, without a doubt, immaculate. In fact, Ruby was so taken by it all that she almost missed the empty decanters and dirty wine glasses on the living room table. Almost.

Ruby was taken aback because, in an exquisite place like this, that scene, coupled with Regina's current state, looked like chaos. But she recovered instantly. "At least this place looks a little better than the last one I was in," she muttered, making sure it was just loud enough to be heard.

"Excuse me?" Regina said, the indignation in her voice not as harsh as it sounded in her head. She was tired, and despite her question, somehow she knew exactly what Ruby was referring to.  _Emma_.

She smirked, knowing full well that her plan to bait the professor had worked, and shrugged as she spoke, "Oh, nothing. Say, do you have anything to drink around here?" She knew she was being cheeky. She also knew that, in her experience, said cheekiness always seemed to elicit one of two responses. Namely, in this situation, she was either going to get Regina to open up, or she was about to be unceremoniously kicked out.

She really hoped it would be the first.

Under any different circumstances, Regina would have certainly admonished this young woman at length. But, for some strange reason, she found herself smirking back, her dark eyebrow raised in amusement. "I cannot promise anything, but let me see what I can find."

Ruby snorted, feeling a little more confident by the minute.  _Looks like I'm not getting kicked out just yet._

As they both settled into the high stools surrounding the kitchen counter, coffee mug in each's hand, Ruby waited patiently for Regina to finally speak. She wasn't the kind of person to dance around a subject; she came here to discuss what happened between her and Emma, but she wasn't planning on pushing the professor into doing it. Ruby would give her all the time she needed, and in the end, Ruby would get what she wanted. She always did.

Regina sighed heavily. Ruby's comment about the state of her home—no, her house, because in all the years she spent in this mansion, the only time she thought of it as home was when Emma was there—had been repeating over and over in her head, and she had to know. "How is she?" her voice was barely a whisper, but Ruby heard her.

"She's a mess."  _Just like you_ , she wanted to add, but thought better of it. She knew that some people appreciated her brazen personality and thought it charming, but this was definitely not the time. "She doesn't know I'm here."

It took Regina a few moments to reply, her chest aching with the knowledge of the blonde's state. "Yes, I assume she wouldn't have allowed you to come if she did." She smiled, the expression seeming more wistful than anything, as she spoke again, "She's quite stubborn, that one."

"Oh, she's not the only one," Ruby retorted, her green eyes sparkling with determination.

Regina didn't need an explanation. The message was received loud and clear: ‘ _I'm not going anywhere until we have this talk’._ "What is it that you want, Miss Lucas?"

"Why'd you do it? Why did you leave her?" Ruby didn't hesitate for a second, jumping right to the point. The look of contemplation on the professor's face was evident, and so she clarified, "I already know about that creep attacking you, but what did that have to do with Emma?"

Regina opened her mouth to speak, but nothing seemed to come out. She already knew the answer to that question; she had discussed it with both Emma and Dr. Hopper. But for some reason, the more she thought about it, the more it sounded absolutely absurd to her. Did she really leave Emma because she cared too much? Because she worried too much?

She suddenly felt very, very sick.

The room spun around her as she pushed herself away from the counter and off the stool, knocking it down in the process. Her ears rung with the clash, but the sound was not quite registered as she stumbled to the kitchen sink and threw up the very little contents of her stomach.

Ruby was behind her in an instant, collecting her hair in a bundle to keep it away from her face. Ruby did not expect this reaction at all, and if she was being completely honest, she didn't quite understand it either. As Regina began to straighten up, Ruby took a few steps back, not entirely sure what to say.

Regina washed and dried her face then turned around, looking utterly mortified that she just vomited in front of a complete stranger. "I—I'm so incredibly sorry, I have no idea…" she trailed on, finding it difficult to explain exactly what happened and why.

"Well," Ruby began, a little more composed now, "I asked why you left Emma and then you threw up." She paused, waiting to see if the professor had anything to say, then continued, "I wonder what that means."

Regina knew exactly what it meant, and was almost certain that Ruby did too.

When it appeared that the older woman was not planning on breaking the silence, Ruby boldly went on, "I just don't get it. Being apart is literally making you sick, the both of you."

Regina's head, having been lowered in shame for the past few minutes suddenly snapped up. "What do you mean? Is Emma sick?"

"In a manner of speaking. She hasn't been sleeping, and I'm pretty sure 80% of the liquids in her body consist of alcohol." Ruby wasn't going to sugarcoat anything; those two needed to know how idiotic they were being and they needed to do something about it.

Regina fell silent once again, but her mind was in a state of anarchy. She made a mistake. She was selfish. Maybe she should have tried harder, maybe she shouldn't have pushed the only person who ever truly loved her away. But she has had to heal alone all her life; that's the only way she ever knew how. That's how it has always been.

"I just need some time." Those words finally filtered in through the chaos, uttered so softly that Ruby almost didn't hear them.

"Time for what?" She pushed, trying to get a little more out of the older woman. She wasn't trying to be insensitive; Ruby was smart, and was very skilled at reading people, so she was well aware of how difficult it was for Regina to talk about this, about something so personal, with a virtual stranger. She just needed to understand.

Regina spoke softly, her voice slightly trembling, "Time to fix myself."

"Oh," was all Ruby managed to say.  _God,_  she thought _. I have so much work to do._

* * *

 

Emma drove as fast as she could, considering the city's heavy traffic. It had been a week since she and Regina broke up, and she had been perfectly content with spending the rest of her days wallowing in her loft. But a call from a very angry Neal forced her to take a shower, make herself look slightly less like a zombie, and leave the house.

She had no idea how she rolled herself off of her couch and eventually into her car. She also had no idea how she drove to her fitness club; it was all just a blur and she couldn't remember how it all happened. That had been a recurring event these past few days; seconds turning into minutes and minutes turning into hours. Everything merged and blended, and she wasn't quite aware of when a day ended and the next began. Everything was out of focus, like someone with really bad eyesight had lost their glasses, and was destined to walk through a never-ending fog.

Emma wouldn't admit it to herself, but she had lost her grip on reality, and she found herself alternating between a state of being, and not being. She preferred the latter because then, the emotions she was feeling weren't absolutely devastating. The heartbreak and pain weren't as violent. However, to her disbelief, one emotion in particular always remained. No matter how much she drank, or how hard she tried to think of something else, it never faded.

Despite her greatest efforts, Emma felt, completely and utterly, lost.

As the automatic doors slid open, the smell of hard work and perspiration that normally greeted and empowered her only served as another reminder of what she had lost.  _Regina_. She doubted the older woman would come anywhere near this place again, but she still found herself searching the sweaty faces around her gym. Some looked familiar, and she tried her best to offer a smile in acknowledgment, but none of them were what she was looking for.

"I'm so pathetic," she whispered to herself as she made her way up the stairs and to her office.

She wasn't surprised to see Neal sitting at her desk, his brow furrowed and his eyes looking perplexed at the paperwork in his hand. She smiled, the action not quite reaching her eyes but still genuine. She missed him. "Hey, buddy."

"Emma! Oh, thank God you're here! I need—" The sentence fell short as Neal finally looked up to greet his boss. "Wow, are you okay?" He had never seen Emma like this before; her normally sharp green eyes looked strangely hazy, and even though it had only been a little over a week since the last time he saw her, she looked…smaller, weaker.

It was Emma standing before him, but it didn't look like her at all.

She chuckled, but the sound was tired and empty. "It's nice to see you too, Neal." She wasn't in the mood to talk about it. She wasn't in the mood to talk about anything, really.

"No, I'm serious," he said, concerned. "What's up? You look like you haven't slept or eaten in days." Yes, Emma was his boss, but she had also become a dear friend, and he wasn't going to let this go without a fight.

Emma avoided his gaze, making her way toward the mini-fridge near her desk. She really hoped she still had a couple of beers in there. A sigh of relief escaped her lips as she opened it and found a single bottle, and took a mental note to restock it later.

Neal was more than a little shocked. "Emma, you're drinking now? It's not even noon yet." Not only was it too early to drink, but Neal had never seen Emma drink during work hours, ever. It was all very strange to him, and his initial worry had just multiplied. "Emma," he said again, more sternly. "What's going on?"

"Just some girl drama," she waved her hand absentmindedly. "Don't worry about it." She really hoped Neal would just get the hint and let it go.

He was having none of it. "You've been away for a week, you've cancelled all your private sessions without prior notice, and you're drinking at 11:45 in the morning. Clearly, it's more than that. Could you talk to me, please?"

She flopped on the couch and sighed dejectedly, "Regina broke—Regina and I broke up." There, that made her sound a little less pathetic.

"Oh," he said, stunned. "I'm so sorry, Emma." He definitely did not see this coming; he was normally clueless, but he had never seen two people more in love than them, and had expected it to last for a long time, if not forever. "Wanna talk about it?"

"No," she said sharply. "I really don't." She knew that Neal was only asking because he cared, because he wanted to help. But she also knew that he  _couldn't_  help, and so wanted to avoid this entire conversation altogether.

"Okay," he conceded. "I don't want to push you or anything. But do you think it's wise to drink now? What if one of the clients needed you?"

Neal had a point, but after everything that's happened, Emma found herself in a state of apathy. Nothing really seemed to matter anymore, nothing seemed to carry much importance. Consequently, she didn't really care what her clients thought of her, or anyone else, for that matter. "It's just one beer, Neal," she stated flatly. "It's not like I'm gonna get drunk from a beer."

"Yeah, you're right. But you and I both know that one beer leads to two, and I'd hate for you to turn into some drunken has-been like, oh, I don't know, the previous owner of this gym?" Neal suspected he might be blowing things out of proportion, but he knew Emma well enough to make an educated guess that, if he just moved on, she would be going nowhere but down, and he sure as hell wasn't going to let that happen.

Emma brought herself to a sitting position and scoffed at him, finding the whole thing ridiculous. "Listen, buddy, I appreciate what you're trying to do here," she gestured with her hand, both acknowledging and somewhat belittling his efforts. "But I need you to back off, okay?"

"Sorry,  _buddy_ ," he retorted through gritted teeth. "But I'm not backing off. I will give you some space to clear your head, though, and I'll tell anyone who asks for you that you're not feeling too well."

"I'm feeling fine," she tried to argue, but it was clear that she didn't have the energy to do so.

Neal shook his head, the look on his face a mix of pity and anger. "From where I'm standing, you don't look fine at all." As he made to close the office door behind him, he paused, his voice softening, "I really am sorry that Regina broke up with you, Emma."

She sighed, trying her hardest not to let her voice shake as she spoke, "Yeah, I am too."

* * *

 

As Regina entered the orange and teal waiting area, she found herself facing the same conflict of emotions she experienced the first time around, but she tried her best to ignore the gripping anxiousness that was beginning to spread throughout her entire body.  _You can do this,_  she thought to herself.  _You need to do this._

The young receptionist seemed to recognize her immediately, and greeted her with a heartwarming smile. "Good evening, Dr. Mills."

"Good evening…" she trailed, realizing she had no idea what to call the young woman.

"Oh, you can just call me Belle," she said quickly, her smile growing ever wider. "Dr. Hopper instructed me to let you in as soon as you arrived."

Regina nodded, offering a polite smile of her own. "Thank you, Belle."

When she reached the doctor's office door, she didn't hesitate before knocking this time. A soft  _come in_ , was uttered, and she let herself in.

"Regina!" he greeted, his smile genuine and infectious, as always. "It's so good to see you again." He walked towards her, pulling her hand into both of his and shaking it with enthusiasm, "Please, have a seat."

Regina tried to return as much of his enthusiasm as she could, but there was only so much she could do, and found herself wondering if he was always this cheery. Under normal circumstances, she couldn't for the life of her handle others who were always full of energy, always so happy. Not to say that she wasn't happy, she just didn't feel the need to show it  _all_  the time. But now, she somewhat appreciated the good doctor's bright personality. Not only that, she welcomed it.

God only knew how much she needed a little light in her life right now.

As they both settled into their respective seats, Dr. Hopper set his phone to alert him after an hour and a half had passed again, and pulled out his notebook. "Tell me, how have you been?" He could tell that Regina wasn't doing much better, but he still wanted to hear from her.

"Oh, not too well, I'm afraid," she replied honestly, deciding it pointless to dance around the truth. She was here to get better, and she was well aware that the only way to do that was to be fully honest.

Dr. Hopper nodded, his initial evaluation confirmed. "Would you like to tell me a little more about that?" He made sure to say it in a way that was not imposing. As a psychiatrist, it was important to let your clients feel comfortable enough to talk whenever they wanted to, or to stay silent. The confidentiality agreement, in many situations, helps ease their minds, but that is not always the case. That's why he always tried to make it clear that he would never push Regina into anything, and he would always respect her boundaries.

Regina, being a psychologist herself, both understood and greatly appreciated his efforts, and because of that, found herself willing to open up. "I haven't been sleeping very well, and my eating habits have been…a little lacking, if I'm being quite honest."

"What do you think is preventing you from sleeping?" he inquired, his pen moving quickly as he spoke. He had a good assumption regarding what that might be, but preferred to keep his assumptions to himself for now.

"A combination of things, I believe,” she said hesitantly, realizing she might have to talk about the subject that she had been trying so hard to avoid.

When she remained silent, he decided to give her a little nudge. "Is it possible that one of those things is Sidney Glass?" Dr. Hopper had dealt with many assault victims and had a good grasp of how difficult it was to talk about, but because of his experience, he also understood that avoiding the subject altogether was counterproductive, if not destructive.

She nodded reluctantly, not entirely ready to admit it out loud. Of course, she was well aware that she had to address this subject sooner or later—that was the purpose of all these sessions. It didn't make it any easier, though. When Dr. Hopper showed no sign of speaking, she tentatively began, "I'm not quite sure where to begin."

"How about you tell me how the two of you met?" While he knew that the main issue to discuss was the physical assault, Dr. Hopper thought it imperative to go back to the very root of it all. Most assault victims, in his experience, blamed themselves for the attack, and so he believed that by going back to the beginning, they could see how the guilt was misplaced.

Regina tried her best to seem calm and collected, but her inner state was in mayhem and anxiety was starting to bubble over. As her fingernails dug into the skin of her palms, she took a deep breath before finally speaking, "He was one of my students, and he had asked me to be his advisor."

"What course was he in?" he asked. He realized he was going slightly off track, but he could also see the struggle Regina was facing, and wanted to redirect her attention for the time being.

"Neuroscience of Learning and Behavior Change," she answered simply.

"Is that where you met Emma?" he asked hesitantly. This was another topic of anxiety, but he hoped it would have less of an impact compared to the other.

She smiled fondly, but, remembering their current break, the expression faded as quickly as it had formed. "Yes," she answered again, voice slightly quivering. Regina had to close her eyes for a moment, her mind battling with feelings of sadness and anxiety, of guilt and regret.  _God, I'm such a mess._ This wasn't her. She felt weak, and she could no longer recognize herself.

 _Okay_ , he thought.  _I probably shouldn't have brought that up just yet._  As he studied her, he didn't know exactly what was going through her mind, but he assumed he had a good idea. He decided to go back to the main topic of discussion, making a note to revisit this on a later occasion.

Before he spoke again, he came to the conclusion that his current approach may not be ideal; while he did have experience with other assault victims, none of them were quite like Regina Mills. Namely, none of them were Psychologists themselves. With this new comprehension in mind, he decided to test a new method. "Would you say Sidney Glass was obsessed with you?"

The question caught Regina off guard. "Excuse me?" she asked, brow furrowing.

"Think of your past encounters with him," he began to explain. "I know it may be difficult, but putting aside your feelings and what you had to experience, try to recall your meetings with him. You said you were his advisor, correct? You must have had to meet him several times after class or in your office. How would you classify your interactions with him?"

Regina caught on almost immediately, and she couldn't help but smirk at the doctor's ingenuity. Her smirk was met with a grin and a raised eyebrow, and she knew that he was very much aware of his inventiveness. "Now that I think about it," she paused, taking his advice and trying to disregard her subjectivity. "Our interactions always left me slightly…uncomfortable."

"How so?" Dr. Hopper pressed on, not only pleased with himself, but also thrilled at the prospect of finally being able to discuss this.

She considered it for a moment, trying to remember some of the things that seemed to always leave her with a strange impression. "He was always very eager to please," she recalled. "Almost  _too_  eager, in my opinion." When the doctor nodded in response, she continued, "and the way he reacted to my praise was somewhat…exaggerated."

Dr. Hopper chose to remain silent, preferring to let Regina proceed, uninterrupted. He almost couldn't contain his smile as he listened intently to her observations, nodding every now and then to acknowledge her words and writing things swiftly to discuss at a later time.

"I suppose, up until a certain occurrence, I was completely oblivious to most of these indications," she admitted, recalling how she ignored Emma's uneasiness towards the man. "One night, he came knocking on my door." She shook her head, aghast at her own naiveté. How could she have been so oblivious?

When the professor showed no signs of elaborating, he inquired, "Mr. Glass came to your home, at night? What for?"

"To personally inform me that his Thesis was approved by the University's Board of Psychology." She wavered, her thoughts once again going back to Emma. She had been there that night, in their—her bed. "It was definitely bizarre, but not as strange as the actions that followed. He not only asked me to come in, but also ignored me when I asked him to leave the first time. He was somewhat…threatening, and I had never viewed him as that before."

"I understand," the doctor spoke solemnly but confidently, convinced that he really did have a better awareness of the situation. He had many questions to ask, but just as he was about to begin, his alarm alerted him to the end of their session. "I'm afraid that concludes our session for the day, Regina. But tell me honestly, how do you feel after slightly opening up about this?"

She smiled, more to herself than anything. "To be quite honest, I feel like a weight has finally began to lift off of me. I know I still have a long road ahead of me, but this is definitely a start." And somehow, she really did feel lighter. She didn't think she would be able to talk about her experience, not so soon and not as easily, at least. But maybe she wasn't as broken as she had thought, after all.

"Of course it is," Dr. Hopper agreed without hesitation. "And it only gets better from here, trust me."

And perhaps it was because she had been feeling uncharacteristically vulnerable these days, but she really did trust him.

* * *

 

A few weeks had passed, and with seeing Dr. Hopper twice a week, Regina felt ready to go back to work with the beginning of the new semester. As she walked into her closet, the feelings of uneasiness bordering on anxiety were no longer there—or, perhaps they were still there, but not as evident. Picking something to wear didn't prove to be as difficult as it had become before, and Regina found herself thinking that maybe she was closer to feeling like herself again than she thought.

She quickly pushed the notion away, however, afraid to get her hopes up, and focused on getting dressed. She settled on a black pencil skirt and a matching blazer with a red silk blouse underneath, and slipped on her shiny black stilettoes to complete her outfit.

Making her way towards her car, she took a moment to revel in the sound of her heels clicking against the pavement. She couldn't quite explain it, but she found the sound incredibly calming, making her anxiety dwindle slightly with every step.

The drive took a little over five minutes, her house wasn't that far. In fact, she could have gotten to campus on foot, but her heels were far too expensive for that. As she stepped out of her Benz, she welcomed the pandemonium that normally accompanied the first days of a new semester, and was surprised to discover that she didn't resent it.

Some faces were familiar, smiling at her in greeting, and others were blatantly staring, no doubt wondering about  _her_ , and the  _incident._ She ignored them, and instead focused her attention on the familiar faces, trying to put on her best smile. In fact, she had been so focused on that, that she didn't notice she was walking straight into someone. "Oh, I do apologize for—" but the sentence was cut short by the image of stunning emerald eyes and wild blonde hair.

_Emma._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, thank you guys for your comments/kudos.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for supporting and sticking with this story. We're nearing the end now.

Emma had spent the past two weeks fighting a battle within herself that was, quite honestly, draining the very life out of her. She had dealt with abusive foster parents, living on the streets, and had witnessed who she thought was the love of her life snatched away from her by the police. Despite those and all other unfortunate events she had dealt with, this breakup was by far the worst thing she had ever experienced.

It had been so easy, logical even, to drown her sorrows in drinking and eating little to no food until she passed out, only to repeat the entire process when she was conscious once again. But, to her dismay, and her relief, although she wouldn't admit it aloud, she had very persistent friends. Really, they were a pain in her ass, but she loved them nonetheless, and their endless concern for her proved that they loved her, too.

After that conversation with Neal, Emma had hoped that he'd let it go and just let her be, but just as he had said, he refused to back off. In fact, if anything, he came on stronger and more insistently than before. The man pestered her on the phone, in person, and continued to schedule training sessions for her without consulting her. And, despite her greatest efforts, her hurtful words and bad attitude only seemed to solidify his determination.

By the end of the first week, Emma was going to the fitness club regularly, and although she was still drinking, it was not as much as she had been before, and never during work. Having to officially go back to her job and resume her training sessions with her clients, Emma was forced to get back in shape and to work on her eating habits, or lack thereof, and that automatically reduced her desire to drink considerably.

Being back at the gym was slowly, but surely, starting to make Emma feel somewhat of a human again. She wasn't going to deny that, in the past few weeks, she had turned into an empty shell of a person, breathing but not quite living. The pain and heartache was still very much there, but at least it wasn't as present when she was at her club.

It was like taking a deep breath after being deprived of air for so long; granted, it mostly consisted of sweat mixed with deodorant, but it was refreshing nonetheless.

Yes, her carapace was beginning to fill again, but the battle of emotions raging inside of her remained. Because, as much as she loved Regina, she was starting to despise her. Emma didn't only feel heartbroken, she also felt abandoned, and if anything could possibly shatter her, that would be it.

Emma had been in the system ever since she was a newborn, and with that came a special kind of despair. One of the first things she was taught at her orphanage was that, the only reason she was there was because her family didn't want her. Still, somewhere deep down, she had hope; even if her original family didn't want her, there must be someone out there willing to accept her and give her a place to call home. That hope remained for a few years. Even when she was sent back by her third foster family, she still hoped.

There was only so much pain and disappointment a child could bear.

She was an adult now. She owned a fitness club, had a few friends she could count on, and had a place to call home. In fact, if anyone had asked her a few months ago, she would've said she was very happy with what she had. But when Regina came along, everything had changed: she wasn't looking for a place to call home, she was looking for  _someone_.

In her mind, Emma had given Regina her all; she had poured everything that she was into loving her, and Regina still broke her. So, her she was, abandoned once again, and feeling hopelessly lost. She was angry at her, but mostly she was angry at herself because she hadn't quite realized how deeply she felt for her until after things had ended.

She was angry because she was certain she would never be able to love anyone that way again.

And how did she deal with that anger? The only way she could- by using her training sessions as an excuse to punch things repeatedly. It helped, but the rage never seemed to fully subside. Not until Ruby paid her another visit, that is.

* * *

 

" _You better not be passed out on your couch again!"_

_A yell followed by three bangs alerted Emma to the arrival of her brazen friend. She couldn't help but smile as she made her way towards the door, and the smile remained as she opened it to meet Ruby. "Hello to you too, Rubes."_

" _Heyyyy," the dark-haired beauty greeted her with a wide grin and a tight hug. "Look at you!"_

_Emma chuckled, suddenly realizing how much she missed her but not prepared to admit it just yet. "What about me?" She asked, taking a step aside to let Ruby in._

" _You don't look like a zombie anymore," Ruby teased with a smirk. Truthfully, she was both relieved and impressed with Emma's recovery. Appearance-wise, at least. The blonde definitely looked like she had been sleeping better and consuming something other than beer._

" _Thanks, I guess," she said, shaking her head. Leave it to Ruby to insult and compliment you at the same time. "So, to what do I owe this_ pleasure _?"_

" _I wanted to check on you."_

_Emma was taken aback; she had expected a playful response, something that was coated in sarcasm and mild concern. But this answer was simple, straight to the point, and more than mildly concerned._

" _You know, just to make sure you weren't dead or anything," Ruby added offhandedly._

_Ah, there it was._

_She chuckled again, the sound tired but genuine. "I missed you, Rubes." And she really did; no one could make her laugh the way Ruby did. Her confident, almost shameless personality was a rare and endearing thing, and her constant bluntness was quite refreshing. "And as you can see, I'm very much alive. Only just."_

" _Yeah, yeah, I missed you too or whatever," Ruby tried to say indifferently, but the concern was very much evident in her voice. "Seriously though, how have you been?" Teasing and sarcasm came naturally to Ruby, and it was her go-to in most situations. But she understood the heaviness of the subject she wanted to discuss, and knew that she'd have to tone it down a little. Or a lot._

" _I'm okay," Emma said, but upon receiving Ruby's questioning expression, continued, "I will be okay."_

" _I'm sure you will be, but that's not what I asked."_

_Emma sighed, accepting that she had nowhere to run. "I'm still hurting, if that's what you want to hear. But mostly, I'm really pissed off."_

_Having talked to both Emma and Regina, Ruby could easily decipher the root of that anger, but she remained silent, preferring to hear what the blonde had to say instead. Not only that, but Emma had no idea that she had seen Regina, and she wasn't quite sure if she wanted to disclose that information just yet. "Why?"_

" _I feel betrayed," Emma blurted out, and with that revelation, a soft gasp followed suit. She knew she felt_ something _, something equally powerful and painful, but she hadn't really given it a name, or said it out loud for that matter. Yet, here she was, admitting it to Ruby and to herself for the first time: betrayal._

_And, with that new piece of information hanging in the air, a part of Emma was clawing at her hard-built walls, begging to be freed. "My whole life, I made sure I never formed any substantial connections with anyone, because I knew they would only end up disappointing me. I've been with eight different foster families, did you know that? None of them stuck with me._

" _I've been used and abused, and no matter how hard I cried or wished for someone to save me, no one did. No one had my back, but me._

" _The first time I really fell in love with someone, she ended up being a con-artist. You'd think I would learn my lesson, wouldn't you? Wrong! I spent two years trying to get over her; one-night stands were easier because no feelings were involved, And I was happy, Ruby. I really thought I was._

" _But there she was, this brilliant, gorgeous and extraordinary woman that could have absolutely anyone on this planet, but she had chosen me. Me, Ruby! A graduate student with a slightly successful fitness club and an American muscle car._

" _I didn't have much to offer her, I could only give her myself. And I did; I gave her my heart, body and soul, and I opened up to her. It was hard as hell, believe me, but I loved her, and I wanted there to be no secrets between us. I wanted her to know the real me. I wanted her to love me._

" _And I thought she did, at least, it really seemed like she did. Then that- that_ maggot  _came along, and attacked her, broke her. I was prepared to do everything in my power to fix things, to help her, but she was broken, and she broke me."_

_Ruby had only known Emma for a few months, but she was certain that the blonde had probably never revealed this much of what she was feeling to anyone, not even Regina. To say she was taken aback by Emma's speech would have been the understatement of the year, and she found herself lost for words._

_She wanted to tell her how proud she was of her for opening up, for letting it all out, but she knew this was not the right time to do so. Instead, she approached her and wrapped her arms tightly around her torso, pulling her closer and hoping that this small gesture would communicate everything her words failed to. "I'm so sorry, Emma," she finally spoke, her voice trembling slightly. "I had no idea."_

_Emma tried to return the hug, but felt too drained after that lengthy rant and her arms fell limply to her sides. "It's okay, nothing I can't handle."_

_Perhaps it was the fact that Emma had trusted her enough to actually tell her how she felt, or because of how crushed she looked, but Ruby couldn't keep her meeting with Regina secret any longer. "You know, I talked to Regina."_

" _You did what?" Emma said, her brow furrowing. She was more confused and shocked than angry, and didn't want to be rash with her reaction before she had all the details. "About what, exactly?" the expression on her face telling Ruby that she needed an explanation and she needed it now._

" _About you, dork," she teased, trying to lighten the mood, but Emma's unamused face caused her to stop. She sighed, before finally saying, "Don't worry, I didn't tell her anything about you. I just wanted to hear her side of the story."_

" _And? What did she say?" Emma was growing impatient._

" _Look, Emma, you have every right to be angry, but while this does affect you, it's not entirely about you." When Emma didn't interrupt, she continued, "She didn't do this to hurt you. In her head, she thinks she's protecting you."_

" _Protecting me from what?" Emma was starting to feel slightly light-headed, and she was finding it somewhat difficult to keep up with this conversation._

" _From her mess." Seeing Emma's unnaturally pale face, she grabbed her hand and led her to the couch. When they were both seated, she resumed, "She still loves you, she never stopped, and from where I'm standing, you both have it pretty bad. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I know you feel like she betrayed your love and trust, but she believes she's doing the right thing."_

" _What do you think?"_

" _You really want to know?" After a slow nod, Ruby said honestly, "I understand where she's coming from, but I think she went about it the wrong way. But Emma, you have to understand, and you two have this in common- she was brought up to depend on no one but herself, just like you."_

" _But she knows me, she knows she could depend on me," Emma said almost desperately._

" _She probably does, honey. Somewhere inside her, she knows she could rely on you and that you could take care of her, but it goes against her nature. She didn't want to risk losing you because of what she was going through."_

" _So, why did she voluntarily push me away?"_

" _After the incident with that asshole, she felt like her life was spinning out of control. I think that, maybe by pushing you away herself, she retained an ounce of that control."_

_Emma was quiet for a long time, Ruby's words playing and replaying in her head. She suspected it would take her a while to fully process it all, but of all the things she was feeling, one thing in particular was most evident: she missed Regina. She missed her so much it hurt._

_When the silence stretched on, Ruby spoke, "Are you still pissed off?"_

" _No," she sighed, her voice barely a whisper. "Now I'm just miserable."_

* * *

 

So, as she stood before the woman that broke her, her eyes widened due to the predictable, yet still unexpected encounter, the anger she once felt was no longer there, and she instead found herself overcome with the strongest urge to wrap her arms around Regina and never let her go.

It almost physically pained her to take a step back.

The added space allowed Emma to get a better look at Regina, and she couldn't help but go back to that day on the bench, when she heard the sound of heels clicking against the pavement and looked up to see the most beautiful woman she had ever laid eyes upon. She wondered if Regina knew that she was wearing the same outfit she had worn back then.

She wondered if life would have been easier for her had they not met.

The shock on the brunette's face mirrored that of Emma's. The start of this semester entailed new courses, which meant Emma was no longer her student. Regardless, she knew they would have to run into each other sooner or later; they went to the same school, after all. "Emma..."

Emma wouldn't have caught what she said if she hadn't seen Regina's lips move; she didn't need to hear it, she had memorized the shape of Regina's lips every time she whispered her name. The single word, uttered so softly it was drowned in the tumultuous sounds of the people around them, was enough to make Emma's entire body tremble. Her body ached, but for all the wrong reasons.

Regina's worried expression was what alerted Emma to her prolonged silence. "Hey," she finally sighed, her eyes fixed on the ground and her hands buried in her back pockets. She wanted to punch herself with a brick for that lame reaction, but really, what else could she have said?

"Hello," Regina tried to smile, but the gesture didn't quite reach her eyes, which resulted in a painfully wistful expression. "How… how have you been?" she tried to continue, but her throat was dry and she suddenly felt very light headed. Seeing Emma's concerned look told her that her stutter was quite obvious, and that made her take a deep breath to steady herself.  _Now's not the time,_ she thought to herself.  _Please._

Emma's first impulse was to be passive aggressive, perhaps respond with something along the lines of, _'are you sure you want to know?'_. But she knew this was not the time nor the place to do this, and instead said honestly, "I've been better."

Regina nodded, the answer not entirely surprising but still somewhat upsetting. The blonde didn't look bad at all, but it was obvious she wasn't completely feeling like herself. To anyone that didn't know Emma that well, it would have seemed like she was doing perfectly fine. But Regina knew better; only she could see that Emma's emerald eyes weren't as effervescent as they usually were, only she could see how her confident demeanor was slightly less assured.

She knew the reason why, of course, and that's what made it all the more depressing. She wanted to apologize, to tell her that she made a mistake and she wanted her back, but although she was definitely starting to recover, she knew she had a long way to go. She didn't want to tie Emma down- she deserved better. Instead, she remained quiet, hoping the silence would communicate more to her former lover than her words ever could.

When the brunette showed no signs of speaking, Emma realized that she could no longer handle being in her presence, and needed to distance herself before the slight discomfort she had felt towards the encounter turned into something closer to anguish. "Listen, Regi- I mean, Professor Mills, I don't want to be late for my first class. It was...nice seeing you," and with one last glance at Regina, she walked past her, their shoulders just barely brushing against each other.

Emma didn't need to look back to know that Regina was watching her walk away, and even though she was surrounded by noise and people, she could swear she could hear her own heart fall to the ground and shatter all over again.

* * *

 

Regina wasn't quite sure how she got to her office- the journey there was a complete blur. Falling apart in public on her first day back to work was definitely  _not_  an option, and thus, she desperately sought the privacy of her office.

When she finally locked the door behind her, she felt as though all the energy in her body was depleted, and she could no longer keep herself upright. As her back fell against the office door, she found herself unable to keep the tears at bay, and as they began to flow down, her body too slid to the floor.

She really did think she was doing better, that she was beginning to feel like herself again. But seeing Emma for the first time after so long brought back  _so much_ , and the myriad of emotions and memories that followed was almost excruciating to experience.

Seeing her reminded her of why she pushed her away in the first place, and although she believed her sessions with Dr. Hopper were starting to help her deal with what she went through better, the struggle had only been lessened, not completely eradicated. Thus, now, she didn't only feel weak and broken, but was also reminded of her regret and guilt for what she did to Emma.

Add to that a special dose of self-pity because, even though she was the one that asked Emma for a break, every cell in her body needed, yearned for her to come back to her, to come home. Her absence had created a void that nothing and no one else could fill, and it was all her doing.

Regina's breakdown was so powerful her entire body was shaking with the force, and she had to firmly cover her mouth to stop her whimpers from evolving into something much louder. She wanted so badly to scream, to allow herself to truly fall apart, but she knew the action wouldn't benefit her in any way. She was pragmatic, after all, and instead took a deep breath, pushed herself off the floor and wiped away her tears.

She used her phone screen to quickly check her appearance, ran her fingers through her hair to smooth it out, and stepped out of her office. It took every ounce of her being to show everyone her confident, poised self.

She wondered if anyone could tell that she was absolutely destroyed on the inside.

* * *

 

Emma's first day back made it to her list of top ten unpleasant experiences. She expected to run into Regina at some point or another, of course, but was she prepared for it? Absolutely not. It also didn't help that her run-in with the brunette was the first thing to happen that day, because it meant that the rest of it would be spent playing and replaying the conversation like a broken record.

And with that, came her lovely habit of overthinking. There was  _so much_  more she could have said, so many things she wanted to ask about.  _How are you feeling? Are you still having anxiety attacks? Have you been eating properly?_ But she realized that,  _this_ , this was the reason Regina asked for space. This was the reason why she couldn't handle having her around anymore.

In her mind, she was looking out for Regina, taking care of her the best and only way she could. Sure, she badgered her with questions that bordered on interrogative sometimes, but that was only because she cared, because she wanted to help make her feel better. That's why, taking a step back both physically and figuratively, and reminding herself that they were no longer together and so had no right in asking, took all of her self-control.

Thus, she was left feeling completely rattled by that meeting, and continued on to have one of the worst days at school. She was late for her first class, but what made it worse was the fact that the professor giving it was  _Dr. Gibson_ , someone, to her dismay, she wasn't on the best of terms with.

"Welcome to Child Psychology- ah, thank you for gracing us with your presence, Miss Swan," he greeted, clearly unamused with the interruption.

Despite feeling unnerved, Emma tried her best to retain her cheekiness, "Aww, it's really nice to see you too, professor." Her response was followed by a few gasps and giggles, and, giving Gibson an impudent grin, she made her way to a seat somewhere far in the back.

After blinking several times, still very much in shock of what just happened, he said through gritted teeth, "It's 'Doctor', not 'professor'." He had almost forgotten how annoying it was having this student in his class.  _Some things never change._

Emma knew it was probably not the wisest thing to do; she had been looking forward to this course and didn't want to be on bad terms with him, or on  _worse_  terms. So, after he finished going through the syllabus and dismissed everyone, she stayed back to talk. "Dr. Gibson, do you have a moment?"

"What is it, Miss Swan?" he inquired, keeping his attention on rearranging some papers on his desk.

"I just wanted to apologize for my tardiness and disrespectful behavior," she said formally. She wanted to give an excuse, to tell him that she just had a bad day, but she knew he wouldn't care. "It won't happen again."

Dr. Gibson looked up, his expression slightly softening as he saw her face. Yes, she had her annoying moments, but he also hadn't forgotten that she was, in fact, a brilliant and dedicated student, and he always appreciated those. "It's alright," he finally spoke, and upon seeing the blonde's surprised look, quickly added, "I'll see you next class. And this time, don't be late."

Smiling, Emma nodded and made her way towards her next class. The rest of her day was incredibly dull, and she had to try her best to stay awake throughout the lectures. Normally, most professors would settle on introducing themselves and talking a little about the course. But there were always those select few that jumped right into teaching, thinking it would show students that graduate school wasn't a joke. As if they didn't already know that.

Emma never really had an issue with it; she was studying something she absolutely adored and enjoyed every second of it, but her day had started off really badly, and she couldn't wait to get to her gym so she could punch something... or someone.

* * *

 

When she finally stepped into her fitness club, she couldn't help but instantly feel calm. The combination of the place, the cries of people pushing themselves beyond their limits, and the smell of their hard work, always seemed to make Emma feel like she... _belonged_. The only other place she felt that way was with Regina.

She was glad she didn't have any clients scheduled for the evening; she wasn't sure if she would have the patience or motivation to train anyone right now, and she really needed the time to herself. She was so focused on finally getting to the nearest punching bag that she almost didn't hear the woman calling for her.

"Pardon me, miss!" the woman finally caught her attention by lightly tapping her arm.

When Emma looked up, she was greeted with piercing blue eyes and a wild mane of red, curly hair. The combination of the two reminded her so much of her ex-girlfriend, Natalie, and she had to physically shake her head to snap out of it. Once she finally regained her composure, she tried to put on her best smile before speaking, "How may I help you?"

"Hey," the redhead responded with one of her own. "Do you work here, by any chance?"

Emma couldn't stop staring at the woman; besides the eyes and the hair, she didn't look like Natalie at all. She didn't sound like her either- she had a deeper voice and a heavy Scottish accent, but something about her kept bringing Natalie's image to her mind. It was an incredibly strange feeling, and she wasn't quite sure what to do. Seeing the woman's confused expression made her realize that she hadn't answered her question, and so quickly said, "Oh, yes, sorry. I'm actually the owner of the club. Can I help you with anything?"

"You must be Emma Swan! I've heard so many great things about you. I'm Merida DunBroch, it's a pleasure to meet you," she said as she grabbed Emma's hand and shook it with enthusiasm.

Emma tried to smile through her confusion as she spoke, "It's nice to meet you too."

"I've been waiting for a while at the reception to talk to someone about subscribing to a membership here, but everyone seems to be busy," she finally explained.

"Oh, I apologize for the inconvenience," Emma said, taking a mental note to scold whoever was on shift today. Normally, she didn't mind manning the reception desk. Sometimes, she even enjoyed the work that came along with it; she loved seeing familiar faces come back, and new people choose her gym to become healthier versions of themselves.

But all she wanted to do today was have some space and let out the frustration that's been building up inside of her. She feared that, if she didn't, she would most likely implode. Still, she wasn't going to simply walk away and have someone else handle this. "I can help you with that," she said as she stepped behind the desk and pulled out a subscription form. "Just fill this out, and then I could have my assistant manager give you a tour of the facility."

"Oh, I was hoping I could ask you to show me around," Merida said boldly, her eyes gleaming. "You're the one I came here for, after all."

It was strange; under other circumstances, Emma would have loved to show someone so beautiful around her club. In fact, she would have flirted a little, too. But not since Regina, not since her heart was crushed. She sighed, privately wondering why the universe hated her so much and couldn't just let her be. "Of course," she finally replied. "I'd love to."

She wondered why the redhead was studying her so closely.

She wondered if she was ever going to get to that punching bag.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in updating. Here's an extra long chapter to make up for it.

When Merida walked into Swan Fitness, she was already quite familiar with the place; she had thoroughly researched it before finally deciding to pay it a visit. As she made her way towards the reception, she took a good look around, trying to spot the person she came here for. She had been waiting a few minutes when the blonde finally walked past her, and seeing her so close, she couldn't help but smirk.  _Ah, Alex,_  she thought.  _I can definitely see what you saw in her._

"Hello!" Merida exclaimed. When the blonde kept walking, she reached out and brushed her arm lightly. "Pardon me, miss!" she tried again, finally catching her attention.

The woman smiled, but the gesture didn't quite reach her eyes. "How may I help you?"

Merida wondered if her fake smile usually worked on others, because she could see right through it. Still, she returned it as best she could, going on about how she had been waiting, and how she was interested in joining the fitness club.

Although the facility was impressive, Merida kept her eyes fixed on Emma during the duration of the tour. It didn't bother her that her staring was obvious- she was a naturally observant person, and in this particular case, she needed to be extra perceptive of the blonde's actions and responses.

She was on a mission, one might call it, and although her friend never asked her to go through so much trouble, she couldn't help herself. She needed to make sure that Emma was the kind of person Merida was told she was, she needed to make sure she was worthy.

And so, she bombarded Emma with questions about the club, how old it was and how she came to own it, and when she felt her getting suspicious, she tried her best to flirt her way out of it. It surprised her when the blonde politely brushed her off; Merida prided herself in how well she was able to read people, and the woman seemed to her the kind of person that would be quite susceptible to people's advances. It made her wonder if there was more to Emma than she initially thought.

When they were finally back at the reception desk, Merida was amused to see from the blonde's expression that she was relieved the tour was over. She found herself once again wondering whether Emma was always like that, or if she had just caught her at a bad time. The only thing she knew for certain was that her assessment of the club owner was still inconclusive, and despite the fact she hated working out, she was going to have to get a membership after all.

"This is Neal," Emma introduced as the man made his way behind the reception desk to join her, sounding a little annoyed, perhaps because he wasn't there earlier. "He's the assistant manager I mentioned earlier. Neal, this is Miss DunBroch-"

"Please," she interrupted with a mischievous smile. "Call me Merida."

With a forced smile, Emma corrected, "This is Merida, she's interested in getting a membership with us. Would you mind taking over?"

"I'd love to," he responded with a wide grin, reaching out to shake her hand and welcome her to the fitness club. When Emma gave him the forms she had to fill out and excused herself, he spoke again. "So, Miss DunBroch, I see from these papers that you'd like to have a personal trainer. Did you have someone in mind? Or may I pick someone for you?"

"Actually," her blue eyes gleamed with excitement as she leaned over the desk. "Is Emma available?"

* * *

 

A few weeks had passed since Regina last ran into Emma. The two had done a phenomenal job at avoiding each other completely, a difficult feat considering they not only went to the same school, but were also in the same department.

Of course, Regina did spot Emma a few times, but always from afar, and always early enough to change course and evade her. She got lucky, she supposed, but she knew that she couldn't avoid her forever. More accurately, she didn't  _want_  to.

However, the avoidance was necessary. She was very aware of how profound her feelings were for the blonde and knew what another interaction with her would do. The first time it had happened, she barely made it in time to her office before she completely fell apart. Regina couldn't predict how she would react to another meeting, and at this point in time, she wasn't prepared to deal with that uncertainty.

So instead, she went with the option that best served her mental and emotional stability, or at least, the option that Dr. Hopper suggested for her. She had come to trust him, and agreed that she needed to resolve several things with herself before finally confronting Emma.

Their sessions these past few months had revolved around Mr. Glass in the beginning, but the focus had quickly shifted towards Emma. Dr. Hopper was quite pleased with that shift, making it very clear to Regina. "This means that you're finally starting to concentrate more on your present issues," he had explained. "And not what happened to you in the past."

Indeed, Regina had been struggling with the assault and how her attacker broke her. But she was growing stronger every day, and with Dr. Hopper's help, she was feeling more and more like herself again. It was after this slow but sure progress that she made an adamant decision: she would no longer allow Sidney Glass to have any control over her.

That decision, although seemingly simple, drained her; it took all her mental capacity to resist the urge to feel all the emotions her attacker had enforced upon her when he struck. Guilt, shame, fear, helplessness- she knew she couldn't completely abolish them, but she would sure as hell do everything in her power to fight them.

With that at the forefront of her mind, she was finally able to allow herself to feel everything she felt for, and because of, Emma. She was able to travel back in time, back to the moments she believed she couldn't have been happier. But as comforting, and almost healing, as that was, it also served as a constant reminder of what she had lost- what she had forcefully pushed away.

What Regina knew for certain, however, was that she refused to give up. She had made the mistake of letting Emma go once, but she was determined to do everything she could to get her back. Regina had been in many relationships before Emma, with both men and women, but no one had ever made her feel the way her former student did.

No one had ever loved her the way Emma did.

It was the kind of love that engulfed one's entire being, and after getting a taste of that, she doubted she could ever be the same again. She doubted she could ever be with anyone else again. It frightened her, if she was completely honest with herself. She never knew she had the capacity to love a person so much, so deeply.

Knowing that made her feel dependent on Emma in a way, and that was a feeling Regina Mills was definitely not accustomed to.

It was thanks to Dr. Hopper that she slowly, but surely was able to overcome that fear.

* * *

 

_Regina had been dancing around the subject of Emma for quite some time, and Dr. Hopper was very well aware of it. After she had disclosed their unexpected encounter to him, he knew that they would have to discuss it in more detail sooner or later. However, he didn't want to pressure Regina into talking about anything before she felt inclined to do so. Based on their sessions together, he learnt that pushing did not work well with her, and so he was satisfied with patiently waiting for her to bring it up._

_Dr. Hopper was only human, though, and couldn't help but give Regina a little nudge during one of their sessions. After they had been talking about Sidney Glass, and how she felt that his hold on her was significantly weakening,, an apparent silence had taken over that he couldn't help but fill. "So, Regina," he tentatively began. "Is there anything else you'd like to talk about today?"_

_Regina took a moment to consider this, knowing exactly what her psychiatrist was referring to but not quite sure if she was ready yet. She took a deep breath, realizing that she couldn't run away from this any longer, then finally spoke, "I miss her." She was aware that he expected a longer, more detailed answer, but this was all she could muster in the moment._

_"Emma?" he asked, his features and voice soft, hopefully communicating to her that it was okay, that she could take all the time she needed._

_The name made her heart ache, and she couldn't help but feel her throat constricting as she spoke again, her voice barely a whisper. "Yes," the single word followed._

_There were so many questions he wanted to ask her, but knew he needed to take a step back and match the pace of his client, not the pace of his curiosity. "Tell me some of the things you miss the most," he suggested with a smile, hoping that would encourage her._

_She mirrored his smile, although hers was more bittersweet than anything, reflecting exactly how she felt about the subject. "Everything," she said with a wave of her hand. "But mostly her spirit. It was infectious, how positive she was, how happy she was._

_"She always knew exactly what to do or say to make me feel better, even though I would never specifically ask her for it. I never really realized how dependent I was on her," she paused, her smile growing sadder as she went on. "Not until I lost her." Regina's voice was beginning to shake despite her greatest efforts, and she hated it. She hated it because it made her feel weak, and weakness was something she had been feeling far too much for far too long._

_Once again, she inhaled deeply, doing her best to steady herself; she needed to distance herself for a moment and remember that this wasn't her, and more importantly, feeling this way was only temporary. She realized that the only person standing in her way of getting her strength back now was her, and she definitely wasn't planning on losing to herself._

_When she spoke again, her words didn't sound desperate or frail; instead, Dr. Hopper could hear the determination in her voice, like she was prepared to do everything in her power to achieve her goal. He didn't know her before all of this, but he suspected that this was how Regina sounded before the assault: confident and powerful. "I want her back. No," she corrected, "I need her back."_

_Dr. Hopper couldn't help but smile at that, appreciating how far the woman before him had come. When he took her on as a client, he had no doubt that she would recover, but even he couldn't tell how long that might take. Every person deals with trauma differently, and although he knew Regina to be a strong and intelligent woman, he had no way of knowing for certain._

_It made him happy, seeing her focused on something other than her attacker and how he violated her. In his experience, it was important to acknowledge and try to resolve the trauma one goes through. Ignoring it would only cause things to accumulate and there's only so much a person can handle before they inevitably fall apart. Be that as it may, it's also counterproductive to focus too much on the incident itself. Otherwise, one is stuck living in the past and ultimately forgets that there is more to life than that single moment in time and its repercussions._

_Dr. Hopper didn't need to ask Regina if she was ready to be back in a relationship again, he knew her well enough by now to trust her judgement completely, but he was still interested to know what made her make this decision. "Why do you think you're now ready to be with her again?" he asked curiously, hoping she understood that he wasn’t questioning her statement out of doubt._

_"I feel as though I have finally made peace with what happened to me," she paused, waiting for his response. When he only offered her a nod, she continued, "perhaps not completely, but I’m certainly better than before. I can say that I no longer feel guilty for the incident; I still feel helpless at times, I admit, but I can confidently say that I do not blame myself for it. Not anymore._

_"I believe my greatest fear about being with Emma, at the time, was that I didn't want her to see me like that: weak, unsteady. Up until that moment, she had only seen me be the strong, confident Regina, I didn't know how she would react when she saw the complete opposite."_

_Dr. Hopper, of course, understood that fully. But he was also aware that Emma was the one that took care of her wounds the night the assault happened, and had stayed with her every night afterwards until Regina had asked for a break. Still, he remained silent, choosing to wait for Regina to finish._

_"It was foolish of me, having such a fear," she sighed. "Despite how different I was, Emma remained and she handled it better than I could have ever imagined. I suppose that was what frightened me even more: I was starting to feel dependent on her and that was something unfamiliar and, quite frankly, undesirable._

_"My mother was a very powerful woman, and she had raised me to be completely independent. I was taught that anything less was a sign of weakness. I don't know why I listened to her," she laughed bitterly. "She also taught me that love was weakness, and for the longest time, I believed her._

_"It wasn't until Emma that I began to doubt that," she admitted for the first time, to him and to herself. "Loving her, and being loved by her, was one of the greatest feelings I had ever experienced. I didn't feel weak when I was with her, I felt strong, like I could handle anything as long as we were together."_

_It was then that she fully registered her words, realizing once again how much of a mistake she had made. She didn't mind depending on Emma, because she knew she could. And she didn't mind feeling weak, because she knew having and being with Emma only made her stronger. She couldn't help hearing her mother's voice in the back of her mind, taunting her, telling her how disappointed she was in her, but she did her best to ignore it. Her mother was gone, and although that pained her, there was a certain sense of relief that accompanied it._

_Being a psychiatrist, it was almost impossible for Archibald not to find interest in what Regina said about her mother. Were it any different, he would not have hesitated at all to ask her to elaborate, but he was aware that, although Regina may have some unresolved business with her mother, it was not the right time to discuss it.._

_Instead, he made a quick note to bring up the subject later, if given the opportunity, and shifted his focus once again to the matter at hand. He was pleased to see how resolute she was about getting Emma back. To him, this was not only beneficial to her mental health, but also meant that she was beginning to feel like herself again._

_In his experience, mending relationships after that kind of assault was not only difficult, but in most cases, inconceivable. Thus, the fact that she had arrived at this decision herself, and that she was willing to do everything she could to make it happen, was incredible._

_Perhaps the only thing that worried him was the possibility of Emma refusing to accept Regina's apology. He knew that discussing this risk would be pragmatic, but he hadn't seen Regina so unyielding about anything before, and he feared that he would not only damage that, but ruin it altogether._

_Smiling, he finally spoke, "I think this will be great for you, Regina." And he really meant it, because although he didn't know much about her relationship with Emma, he could tell that, whatever they had, it was nowhere near ordinary._

* * *

 

Emma wondered if Regina was purposefully avoiding her. It had been several weeks since their run-in with each other, and although Emma knew it was probably for the best, she still missed her ex-professor terribly. She had spotted her around campus a few times, but it was always from a distance, and always from an angle that wasn't too obvious.

She wouldn't admit it to anyone, but Emma had been spending a fair amount of time fantasizing about possibly running into Regina again, about what she would say to her and what Regina would respond with in turn. As much as it pained her, she longed for it, for another accidental meeting; it was nowhere near ideal, she knew, but that was the only way she could see her without making it seem like she was desperate.

 _I am desperate_ , she thought to herself. And she really was, she just wasn't planning on doing anything about it, not when Regina had asked for space, not when she had pushed her away. Being apart from her was excruciating for Emma—it was as though there was a weight on her chest, getting heavier and heavier with each day.

It was suffocating her.

She realized, however, that as difficult as it was for her to breathe, she needed to pull through it, because as badly as she wanted Regina back, she had convinced herself that there was simply nothing she could do. Not when Regina was the one that ended things.

That, to her relief, made things slightly more bearable, and she tried her best to distract herself from the fact that she was probably never going to love again, not the way she did Regina. Something about loving her was incredibly fulfilling—in fact, Emma had no idea she had the capacity to feel so much, so intensely, for a single person.

It was no surprise that she felt absolutely empty after it was all over.

But she had wallowed in her misery long enough, and as agonizing as it was to pull herself together and go on with her life, she knew it was the only viable option. So, she did everything in her power to keep herself busy with school and work, and when she felt the loneliness was particularly intolerable, she called upon her friends for help.

A person she couldn't have predicted to be one of those was Merida, a wildly bold, Scottish girl that had quickly advanced from being one of Emma's clients to becoming a friend. She couldn't quite explain why, but something about the redhead seemed strangely familiar to her. Emma tried pushing a few times, asking things that would hopefully give her an insight as to why she felt that way. They had sessions together three times a week and so was given many opportunities to do so, but Merida always answered very vaguely, or found a way to shift the conversation back to her.

It bothered her at first, but she eventually let it go. Merida was loud and unapologetically impulsive, something that reminded her of Ruby a lot, and so Emma couldn't help but enjoy her company.

When she stopped worrying about why Merida didn't seem to want to open up in any way, the redhead surprised her by doing just that. Emma had learnt that Merida had lost her parents when she was only sixteen, which forced her to quit school and take care of her younger triplet brothers, or 'wee devils', as she often called them.

It was when Merida revealed that information that Emma also felt comfortable enough to talk briefly about her past. Her walls were still firmly planted around her, and her trust wasn't something she readily gave away, but it was due to a crazy, fateful night that she unavoidably let more out than she had planned.

* * *

 

_"Who did you say we were meeting?" an already tipsy Ruby shouted over the music and the chatter._

_The two hadn't been back to this place ever since Emma, for lack of a better word, fucked one of the many ridiculously attractive dancing bartenders. She had avoided the place altogether because of how the encounter had ended, but months had passed already, and although she wasn't quite ready for_ that _kind of a distraction, she thought it would be a good place to start._

_Emma remembered distinctly asking Ruby to take it easy with the drinks, but she chuckled as she spoke, not entirely surprised by her behavior. "Merida," she said for the fifth time that night, abandoning any hope of a sober introduction between the two._

_Ruby nodded, swaying from side to side. Emma didn't know if it was because of the alcohol or the music, but she grabbed her arm to steady her regardless. "Is she hot?" she said with a smirk. She didn't know much about the girl, but somehow she was a little suspicious about her._

_She wondered if Emma was interested in pursuing a romantic relationship with this new girl, and if she was, how she could sabotage it. She had, without Emma's knowledge, kept in touch with Regina, and although the professor wasn't ready to do anything just yet, Ruby knew she wanted Emma back._

_When Merida finally arrived, Emma gave her a quick hug and offered her the stool next to her. "I'm so glad you could make it," she smiled genuinely, eager to introduce her new friend to Ruby. She couldn't explain why, but she had the feeling that the two would get along quite well. Perhaps it was the fact that both Ruby and Merida were brazen and somewhat impulsive, always doing or saying things first and thinking later. But more importantly, they had become two people that she was starting to truly trust, and although that terrified her, it was also comforting._

" _Thanks for giving me a call," said the redhead, her blue eyes sparkling as she smiled._

_It had been a few weeks since Emma met her, but she was still finding it difficult to adjust to the woman's heavy Scottish accent. She wondered if she was ever going to get used to it. "Ruby!" she tried to call, but the brunette was too preoccupied flirting unabashedly with a man sitting on the table next to them. She tapped her shoulder to get her attention, and when she finally did, she spoke again, "Ruby, this is Merida."_

_Ruby gave the newcomer a head-to-toe scan, an action that was not subtle in the slightest. When her eyes landed on Merida's, the redhead had a raised eyebrow and a bold smirk on her face, letting Ruby know that she was caught. Mirroring the smirk, she extended her hand to shake Merida's before speaking, "It's nice to finally meet you. Emma has told me great things about you."_

_As the night progressed, the three had all done their fair share of drinking, dancing, and flirting. To Emma's relief, Ruby and Merida were getting along wonderfully, and that, coupled with the alcohol and girls that always seemed to be willing to throw themselves at her, were almost enough to make her forget about Regina._

_Almost._

_When the bar was starting to get a little too cramped for their liking, they decided to take the party back to Emma's place. They all had a variety of drinks in their bloodstream, but that didn't stop them from adding beer to the mix. A few bottles later, Emma found herself lying face-down on her leather couch, fully aware that she was going to deeply regret this in the morning._

_It was when Emma was close to falling asleep that Merida spoke, her speech not as slurred as she would have expected considering how much she had drank. "Tomorrow's gonna be hell, but I really enjoyed tonight."_

_Emma could only manage a soft_ hmm  _in response, her spinning head making it difficult to form words._

" _Was it enough to distract you from whatever it was you were trying to avoid?" the redhead spoke again, sitting up to face her._

_Furrowing her brow, Emma tried to follow suit but the action made her want to throw up all the alcohol she had consumed. Instead, she rolled around on her back and placed an arm behind her head. "What makes you think it was a distraction?"_

_Merida chuckled as she nodded towards the brunette currently passed out on one of the living room couches, "You and Ruby mentioned it a few times." When Emma remained silent, she pressed, "what is it you need a distraction from?"_

" _Not what," she sighed dejectedly. "Whom."_

_Merida couldn't say she was entirely surprised. She had gotten to know the blonde well these past few weeks, and although Emma did a decent job at hiding it, Merida could tell that something, that someone, was hurting her. However, as much as she had come to care for Emma, she didn't really need to know that piece of information. What she sought was to determine whether her friend had made a mistake or not, whether Emma was worthy of whatever she came here to give her._

_She didn't know if it was the alcohol, or the unexpected friendship the blonde had given her, but Merida couldn't help but press further. "Would you like to talk about it?"_

* * *

 

Everything after that was a blur; Emma had woken up to find Ruby still very much passed out in her living room, while Merida was nowhere to be found. Emma tried calling and texting, just to make sure she was alright, but she didn't receive an answer until four days later. It came in the form of a very brief message:  _We need to talk._

Emma couldn't help but feel slightly uneasy upon receiving such a message. She couldn't, for the life of her, figure out what it was Merida would possibly want to talk about.  _Did I do something inappropriate that night we were drunk?_  But although some of that was a blur, she was pretty sure she didn't do anything.

She had no idea that it was what she said that night that made Merida finally come to a decision.

When Merida rang the bell to her loft, Emma was in the middle of playing on the piano, something she had been doing more and more of these past couple of weeks. Even though it had been tied to some painful memories, she found that playing was quite calming. She needed a little calm in her life.

"Hey," she greeted nervously as she slid her door open. There was a strange look on Merida's face that Emma couldn't quite explain, and that only served to make her nerves worse.

Merida was doing perfectly fine until she heard something she hadn't heard in years as she stood outside of Emma's apartment. She knew the music piece Emma was playing all too well, and she couldn't help the flashbacks she had as the melody almost enveloped her. The conversation she was planning to have with Emma was supposed to be quick and emotionless, but this, combined with how she grew to feel about her complicated things.

The silence was becoming a little too unnerving as they made their way towards the living room, forcing Emma to speak to fill the void, "Is everything alright?"

The redhead ignored the question, instead asking one of her own, "was that  _Dark Night of the Soul_?" In truth, she didn't really need to ask, she could recognize it anywhere.

Emma was taken aback by that; in all the weeks she had known her, Merida had shown no interest in classical music, so she wasn't expecting this at all. "You know Philip Wesley?"

"Not particularly," she answered honestly. "But I know- I knew Natalie."

It took Emma a few moments to process that statement, and even when she did, all she was able to manage was a weak, "what?" in response.

Merida sighed, finding it more and more difficult to say what she came here to say. She was beginning to realize that, perhaps, getting close to the blonde wasn't her smartest move. She should've just done what her friend asked her to do. "Alexandra Anisov, whom you knew as Natalie," she paused, the look of utter shock on the blonde's face not entirely surprising. "She was my oldest and closest friend."

Emma's mouth opened and closed a few times, not exactly sure how to respond to Merida's confession. When she had seen the woman for the first time, she couldn't quite explain why she reminded her so much of Natalie. She supposed it all made sense now. "Is that why you came to my gym?" she asked, anger starting to bubble within her.

"Yes," Merida admitted, unable to meet Emma's eyes.

She suddenly stood up, feeling the overwhelming need to put some distance between her and the redhead lest she hurts her. She took a deep breath, trying her best to calm herself, before she spoke, "What do you want, Merida? Is that even your real name?"

Merida remained seated, realizing it to be the safest choice. "It is. Everything I told you about me was true, except for the true purpose of my visit to your fitness club."

Emma scoffed, finding it almost impossible to believe anything that came out of her mouth from here on out. "What is 'the true purpose', then?" she asked impatiently, eager for this nightmare to be over already. It had been a few months since she last thought of Natalie, and she had finally thought she was on her way to completely forgetting about her. Clearly, she was wrong.

"I found a will that Alex had written before she was...killed in prison," she paused, recalling the day she received a call informing her of her best friend's demise. Merida had been the only person on Alexandra's contact list. In fact, she had been listed as a relative. "After her death, her belongings were released to me, but it was too painful for me to go through them at the time.

"I finally found the strength to do so a couple of weeks before I came to see you, and that was when I stumbled upon the will." Emma's back was still towards Merida, and so she could not see the woman's features, could not read her feelings. That bothered her, but she decided to go on regardless. "Alex had stashed away a small amount of her fortune before she was caught. She said that, when you were together, the two of you talked about building a new orphanage, one that was actually a good and safe place for children.

"In her will, she asked me to deliver that money to you. Alex knew how important that dream was for you, and she wanted you to have it. She hoped that, this final act, even after her death, would be enough for you to forgive her. But more importantly, she hoped that this would prove to you that, whatever the two of you had, was undoubtedly real."

Emma wanted so badly to ask her to leave, to tell her that she didn't want to see her ever again, but instead, her own voice sounding foreign to her, she said "Do you have it with you?"

Merida understood what Emma needed right away, and reaching into her pocket, she pulled out a folded paper and gave it to her. She watched silently as the tears made their way down Emma's cheeks and as her hand covered her mouth, hoping to muffle the sobs. Merida wanted more than anything to move closer to her, to give her the tightest hug she could possibly give, but she feared that the action would only make things worse.

Emma's entire body was shaking as she tried her best to keep her cries in. She wondered if this was some terrible cosmic joke, if this was just a dream and she was about to wake up any minute. The only thing she knew for certain was that she hated Natalie, or whatever her name was. Emma hated her for lying, for making her fall in love with her. She hated her for making her doubt everything and everyone, and for leaving this will behind. But most of all, she hated her for getting herself killed.

Because how was she supposed to tell her that she forgave her?

When she felt confident enough that she had her emotions slightly under control, Emma spoke again, "I can't use her money. Natalie was a con-artist and I'm assuming she obtained it illegally. I can't accept it."

"This was her final wish, and you're willing to not only deny her that, but all the children out there in need of a decent home, because you disapprove of how she got the money?" Merida tried her best to mask the anger in her voice, but she knew she wasn't doing a great job.

Emma knew that the redhead had a point, but she wasn't quite prepared to admit that just yet. Truth be told, even though she had money of her own, she knew it wouldn't be enough to build and maintain an orphanage, something she had been wanting to do for as long as she could remember. Whatever money Natalie left her would definitely make a difference. "I'm sorry," she said resignedly. "I can't accept this."

Merida sighed, recognizing that it was futile to argue. She pulled out another piece of paper and placed it on the table in front of Emma, then said, "It doesn't matter. Here's the account number and all the other information you may need. The account is already under your name, the money is yours."

When Emma remained silent, Merida flipped the piece of paper and wrote something down, then made her way towards the door. "Listen, Emma," she spoke softly. "I didn't mean to hurt you, or lie to you. I just wanted to make sure giving you this money wouldn't be a mistake. I guess I should've just trusted Alex and kept my distance after giving you the will. I've grown to care about you, and your friendship means a great deal to me. I've written down my phone number, if you ever feel like getting in touch. But for now, I suppose it's goodbye."

Merida was almost out the door when Emma finally spoke. "Wait! How did you know that you weren't making a mistake?"

"That night we got really drunk, you talked a lot about your ex-girlfriend, Regina, and how you were trying to distract yourself," she paused, then smiled as she continued, "and then you mentioned Natalie, and how you didn't think you would ever be able to love someone again after her."

"Oh, God," she groaned, feeling utterly embarrassed.

Merida chuckled, "The way you talked about her, even though you were absolutely wasted, I could tell that she meant a great deal to you, that maybe she still does." Emma sighed, her racing thoughts making it difficult to speak. Merida stepped out of the loft, her hand resting on the door knob, "I hope things work out between you and Regina, Emma," she said genuinely. "She seems like the real deal." With that she turned around and walked out of the loft, not waiting for a response.

"Yeah," she whispered to herself, her heart aching at the mention of the professor's name once again. "She really is."

* * *

 

Emma couldn't wait for this week to be over. After everything that happened with Merida, it was extremely hard to focus on anything else, making being mentally present in classes almost impossible. She had gotten scolded three times by three different professors for spacing out, and there was little she hated more than that.

She was beyond relieved when Friday was finally nearing an end, and as she made her way through the campus hallways, her only focus was to get to her car and drive straight to her gym. She was so fixated on that single task that she didn't hear her name being called until it was said for a fifth time, coupled with a hand brushing her elbow.

Her initial thought was to yell at whoever it was that interrupted her journey to her car, but as she turned around, she suddenly felt like she had lost her ability to speak.

"Hey," the raspy voice she knew all too well said. "I’m sorry, I didn't mean to startle you." Emma remained silent, her mouth hanging open, clearly stunned by the person standing before her. Regina continued, "I called your name a few times, but I couldn't quite get your attention."

Emma needed a few moments to gather her thoughts, needed to remember how to speak. When she finally found her voice, she said softly, "Sorry, I have a lot on my mind."

Regina's heart throbbed at the statement, wishing more than anything to hold the blonde and keep her safe, wishing she could say,  _talk to me, I can make it better._ But she knew she couldn't, not just yet, and that pained her beyond measure. Instead, she simply stood there, hoping Emma would recognize all her wishes just by looking into her eyes. "I was hoping I could speak with you, if you had a moment?" Regina didn't know why she was acting so formally. She supposed it was because of her nerves, or perhaps she wasn't quite sure what she was going to say to begin with.

To say Emma was confused would have been an understatement- she wasn't only confused, she thought she was hallucinating. She hadn't spoken to Regina in weeks, let alone seen her, and so she wasn't entirely certain how to deal with whatever it was that was happening at the moment. Regina's concerned look made her realize that she had been quiet for too long, and so she said, "Yeah, sure. I have some time."

In truth, Emma couldn't wait to get to her fitness club- working out was always the best distraction for her, and she needed that more than anything. But she was curious as to what Regina wanted to talk to her about.

As they both made their way towards Regina's office, Emma's heart was pounding so heavily that she could almost hear it. Meeting with Regina was something she didn't see coming at all; the idea of getting back together hadn't even crossed her mind, only because the failure of that notion was too painful to bear, and so she wasn't quite sure what to expect.

When they arrived, Regina paused at the door to inform her secretary that she was not to be disturbed, and then led Emma into her office. She made her way to the closest chair, but realizing that she was too restless to sit, opted to lean against her desk instead.

Regina had so much she wanted to say that she didn't quite know where to begin; the only thing she knew for certain was that she wanted Emma back, that she needed her back. When the silence seemed to stretch on for a little too long, she said hesitantly, "I've been seeing a psychiatrist."

"What?" Emma was taken aback by that statement, not entirely sure how to respond.

Regina took a deep breath, hoping the gesture would help calm her nerves. It didn't. "His name is Dr. Hopper, and he's been helping me...cope, with the incident." She hated saying that,  _the incident_ , but it was the lesser of two evils, and she tried not to overthink it too much. She wasn't talking to a stranger, she was talking to  _Emma._

And Emma knew.

Emma realized that she shouldn't have been so surprised; it was perfectly normal for someone who's gone through what Regina went through to seek help from a professional. But perhaps it was the fact that it was  _Regina Mills,_ a person she knew both as a brilliant professor and as a lover, that she found it difficult to imagine.

Still, she couldn't help but feel glad, because as much as it hurt her that Regina didn't want her help, she was still grateful that the professor was able to find it elsewhere. She just wished she didn't have to push her away for that. "Has it been going well?" she asked, hoping more than anything that it was.

Regina had been focused on her expensive heels for a while when Emma spoke, causing her head to snap upwards. She wasn't sure what to expect as a response, and the question caught her off guard. "Better than I anticipated," she replied honestly. "Actually, that's partly what I wanted to discuss with you." Emma remained silent, her look of confusion communicating more than her words could have. "Emma," she spoke softly, her voice barely a whisper.

Hearing that single word uttered by that voice was unbearable. Emma could feel her entire body ache for the woman standing before her, for the love of her life. It took every ounce of control not to run to her and hold her for the rest of eternity. That's the impact Regina had on her, simply by saying her name, simply by existing.

Still, the blonde didn't speak. Regina searched the emerald eyes she loved so much, trying to get a hint of what she might be thinking or feeling, but all she could see was pain.  _I caused that_ , she thought, hating herself more and more. But she was in pain too, and she was here to make it right, for the both of them. "Emma," she said again. "I miss you."

Emma couldn't quite explain it, but hearing that made her very angry. She supposed it was because the only other option was for her to burst into tears, and she wasn't prepared to do that, not right now. She missed her too, of course. She missed her so much it physically pained her. But it was Regina that pushed her away, that hurt her so badly that she didn't know if she would ever recover. "What do you want, Regina?" she asked, her voice flat, emotionless.

Regina was shocked by the younger woman's demeanor, and frankly couldn't deny that it stung her. She was sure she deserved it, she had just hoped that Emma would be willing to start over. "I want you back. Emma, I made a mistake, and I want you back." There was so much more she could have said, that she wanted to say, but she was suddenly overwhelmed with a sense of urgency to explain herself in hopes of winning Emma back. The thought of Emma refusing her hadn't even occurred to her, but with that simple question, said with such detachment, Regina was slowly beginning to unravel.

Emma was feeling so many things, but happiness, something she should have been feeling upon hearing Regina's words, was not one of them. The conversation she had had with Ruby had suddenly started to play and replay in her head, and although she understood Regina's decision to push her away at the time, it didn't make it any less painful. And so, now, standing before the woman that essentially broke her, she felt herself drowning in a sea of betrayal and, worst of all, abandonment.

She wanted to be with Regina more than anything in the world, but Emma had been through enough disappointments in her life, and Regina ending things was by far the most devastating. She was someone she could see the rest of her life with, someone she wanted to grow old with, but she couldn't handle the thought of possibly being hurt, or abandoned. Not again. "I miss you too," she finally said, the pain evident in her voice. "But I don't think I can do this."

"What- what do you mean?" Regina was sincerely hoping that she had heard her wrong; in all the scenarios she had envisioned, not one of them ended badly, and so she was finding this turn of events almost impossible to believe. She wanted to tell Emma all about her sessions with Dr. Hopper, about how she was coping better, how she rarely ever had anxiety attacks anymore. She wanted to explain to her why pushing her away was the biggest mistake she had ever done, and she wanted to tell her that she loved her, that she never stopped loving her, and that she didn't think she ever could.

She supposed it was too late for that now.

"I'm sorry, Regina," said Emma, her eyes looking into dark ones possibly for the last time. "I just can't get hurt again." As she turned around to leave, every atom in her body was screaming for her to remain, to forgive, to love again, but she was broken beyond repair this time. She was weak, and she couldn't handle any more pain.

"Emma, please," Regina pleaded, her voice breaking as the reality of the situation began to sink in. "Please, tell me how to fix this."

Emma didn't turn around to face her, her own tears forming a steady stream down her cheeks. She feared the sight of the woman she had been devoted to would shake her resolve. She turned the doorknob, and paused just as she was about to leave to whisper, "I don't know if you can."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, I kindly ask that you do not include spoilers in your comments. Thank you.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The events of this chapter happen six years after the end of last chapter. Once again, thank you guys for your comments, kudos and your continued support. We're almost there.

_After finishing her Master's degree, Emma found herself more lost than she had ever been before. Turning Regina away was almost as painful as the initial break-up itself, and after they had parted ways, Emma couldn't ever imagine moving on. She was left feeling crippled and empty, and she didn't quite know if the void where her heart used to be would ever be filled again._

_Having her fitness club was no longer enough to distract her from her misery, and punching things wasn't as therapeutic as it once was. She had become so disinterested with the concept of it all that her decision to leave it behind, though seemingly impulsive, appeared to be the only possible outcome._

_Of course, she couldn't quite give it all up as it was her only source of income, but the next best thing was to step down as the club's manager. And despite Neal's protests, the man she chose to replace her, Emma's decision was already made._

_She couldn't deny that saying goodbye to that part of her life was incredibly challenging, especially considering the place's history and how much it meant to her. But despite that, the club no longer gave her the comfort it once did, and she felt that moving on from it was the right thing to do._

_Giving up her position as a manager gave her more time to focus on finding a job that was more closely linked to her Counseling degree, but despite the myriad of job offers that she had received thanks to her brilliant Thesis, nothing seemed to quite fit._

_She hoped that writing about the psycho-social problems of orphans in the United States would help raise awareness for the importance of not only improving the system, but also for providing more funds for rehabilitating existing orphanages and possibly building new ones. But despite the fact that her Thesis gained a lot of recognition and was even published in a renowned journal, there was a lot more talk and not nearly as enough action._

* * *

 

_After months of searching, Emma could not find a job that made her feel like she could really make a difference. She was beginning to consider going back to managing her club and her mind was all but set, until she came across a crumpled piece of paper in the back pocket of her grey jeans._

_As she spread the paper open, flashbacks of her conversation with Merida almost two years ago came rushing back, and she couldn't help but fall back onto her bed with the force of it all. Pretending like that day never happened had taken a lot of energy, and it wasn't until months later that she had succeeded at forgetting about the redhead and the money she had brought her. But even though Emma was resigned to never even check the account number she was given, she still couldn't find the nerve to throw it away._

_Letting her curiosity get the better of her, Emma opened her laptop and typed in the website Merida had written on the paper. When prompted, she entered the account number and typed in the information she needed to access it. As the account's balance loaded on her screen, Emma's eyes widened and her mouth fell open; Merida had told her that Natalie had stashed away a small amount of her fortune, but the number she was seeing before her was nowhere near small._

_Natalie had left her 10 million dollars._

_After getting over her initial shock, Emma shut her computer abruptly and tossed it to the side, a mix of anger, disbelief and anguish threatening to bubble over. She understood all the emotions she was experiencing, except one: regret._

_Emma tried desperately to keep the tears at bay, but past moments spent with Natalie suddenly came rushing back and, although it had been years since her death, the blonde's heart still ached. She had moved on, and her love for Regina had been pure and genuine, but as much as she would like to deny it, Emma never had the chance to mend herself._

_She had spent the longest time avoiding her thoughts and feelings, and when Regina came along, the older woman had quite literally enveloped her entire being, leaving her almost no space to think about anything else._

_Even after things with Regina ended, Emma was still occupied in dealing with the resulting heartbreak, and the thought of Natalie never really emerged._

_Not until now, that is._

_Emma had loved Natalie, and until she had met Regina, she had been convinced that she would never have the ability to love like that again. Yet, the blonde's feelings of betrayal, at the time, completely overpowered the love she had for Natalie—or, as a consequence of the deception, the love she_ thought _she had._

_Thus, it wasn't the fortune in itself that caused Emma to feel regret, it was the fact that Natalie had gone to so much trouble to fulfill a dream of Emma's that only she knew about. Emma's greatest fear was to be abandoned, and she went right ahead and did that very thing to Natalie—yes, the woman was a fraud, but nothing about her feelings for Emma was untrue, and as she cried herself to sleep, that realization eventually dawned on her._

_The next morning, Emma had asked Ruby to come over; she was in desperate need for someone to confide in, and over time Ruby had become her go-to person. Ruby was familiar with Natalie's story, but didn't have all the details. She also didn't know about Merida's connection to Natalie, so when she had arrived and listened to what Emma had to say, it took her a few moments for everything to sink in._

_After a silence that seemed to stretch on for far too long, she spoke, "Let me get this straight, that chick with the crazy red hair turned out to be your dead ex-girlfriend's best friend." When Emma gave her a quick nod, she continued, "And the reason she came here was because your dead ex-girlfriend left you some money to build your own orphanage and she needed to know you could be trusted."_

" _Could you stop calling her my dead ex-girlfriend, please?"_

" _Yeah, sorry," Ruby said without missing a beat. "This happened almost two years ago and you only just decided to check out the account?" Even though Ruby had just repeated everything Emma had told her, she was still finding it difficult to wrap her head around it. It sounded like something that would happen in a soap opera, and she wasn't quite sure how she felt about it just yet._

" _Yeah," Emma finally said, her eyes fixed on her fiddling hands. "I was so convinced that there was no way in hell that I'd use this money; Natalie or Alexandra or whatever her name was...she was a con-artist and a thief, she tricked people for a living. She tricked me."_

_Ruby sighed, wanting to lighten the mood but not entirely sure how. "How much did she leave you?"_

" _Ten million dollars, the idiot," but despite Emma's feelings of anger and grief, the way she spoke sounded strangely bittersweet._

" _Holy shit," she said, completely taken by surprise._

" _Yeah," Emma murmured, still very much in shock herself. She hated feeling like this: she didn't know what to say or what to do, and she didn't know how to deal with all the different emotions she was experiencing._

_Ruby had no idea what Emma was going through was like, but somehow, she could see the inner struggle her friend was feeling. Emma had moved on to love someone else after Natalie, but she hadn't completely resolved the issues that Natalie's betrayal had caused._

_The woman had lied about herself, and that had shaken Emma to such an extent that she had forgotten everything positive she had felt and experienced with her. It took her all this time to realize that, despite everything, the love they had shared was real, and Ruby could see the toll that was taking on Emma._

_Placing a hand atop her fidgeting ones, Ruby said softly, "Listen, Emma. I can't begin to imagine what you're feeling, or what you're thinking. This was definitely a surprise, and probably not a very pleasant one; it brought back things from the past that you had been avoiding, but this is good." When Emma looked up, very much skeptical of what Ruby was saying, she quickly added, "Just bear with me._

" _Up until now, you were pretty much convinced that everything about that relationship was a lie. It gave you major trust issues, more than what you already had, and it took you a long time to get over it. Opening up an orphanage, it's something you told her you had wanted to do for as long as you could remember, and you even talked about doing it together someday._

" _Years go by and, even though she was in prison and you had made it very clear that you didn't want anything to do with her, you find out that she stashed away a ridiculous amount of money not for herself, but for you. I think that at least proves that she really did love you, don't you think?"_

_Emma couldn't help the tears streaming down her face as she nodded, knowing very well that she couldn't argue with any of it. She was hurting, but in a way, Emma felt like she had finally been released from an endless cycle of doubt, bitterness and resentment._

_She felt free._

* * *

 

As the automatic doors slid open, Emma couldn't help the smile that was suddenly plastered on her face. It had already been a year since she opened her very own orphanage, and to this day, she still found it all more than a little surreal. It had become part of her daily routine, really; no matter what she was going through outside of it, as soon as she walked into the orphanage, every other feeling but contentment would simply dissipate.

When Emma took the decision to build the orphanage, all she knew was that she needed to find a good piece of land to do it—besides that, she had absolutely no clue. She eventually found out that, unlike she had initially thought, having the money was not everything.

First, she needed to register her foundation with the regional office of the secretary of state, and then contact the Internal Revenue Service to attain a tax-exempt status. Once she had been successfully registered, she needed to get in touch with the Massachusetts' Department of Health and Human Services to obtain a license as a charitable organization providing care for children.

After that came the hiring; as much as Emma would have loved to run the orphanage on her own, she knew that that was simply not possible. She wanted it to be a safe haven for the children, and for it to serve as an example of what a well-run orphanage should be like. This meant that she needed to hire teachers, therapists, cooks and cleaners. Not to mention outreach professionals that would be in charge of placing orphans with suitable families.

Emma spared no expense, and alongside building the orphanage, the entire process took three years to complete. But as she walked through what had quickly come to feel like home, she had no doubt that it was all worth it.

The facility was impressive to say the least; with the money Natalie had left her, Emma was able to acquire a massive piece of land and build on it a state-of-the-art orphanage that was bound to become one of the best in the country, if not  _the_  best. It could house up to 500 children at a time, and had both indoor and outdoor play areas. Emma had also incorporated her own system of education, making the orphanage seem like a fancy boarding school rather than a typical group home.

After she had gotten over the initial shock of the fortune Natalie had left for her, there was no longer anything stopping her from fulfilling her lifelong dream. In fact, that conversation Emma had with Ruby so many years ago served to clarify that using the money was the only option. The orphanage was so much bigger than her; her dream wasn't only to own one, but to also eventually rework the entire adoption system. She couldn't deny the children, or herself, that opportunity.

And, although she may never admit it aloud, doing this was also Emma's way of honoring Natalie's memory. Not as Alexandra Anisov, the con-artist, but as Natalie, the woman she once loved.

* * *

 

Emma was excited about tonight: she hadn't seen Ruby in weeks because of her tight work schedule, and they were finally able to make plans to meet up. They considered going out somewhere for dinner, but after both admitting that they weren't entirely up for it, they agreed to order in and catch up at Emma's loft.

When the doorbell rang, Emma was still looking for something clean to wear. She had been so busy with running the orphanage that she hadn't had the time or the energy to do any laundry. So, with only her navy skinny jeans and sports bra on, she ran downstairs to greet her best friend.

As the door slid open, Ruby's signature grin was already very much in place. "Wow there, tiger," she said with a raised eyebrow. "Better put a shirt on before you poke someone's eye out with those abs."

Chuckling, Emma wrapped her arms around Ruby's neck and pulled her close. "Hey, you."

"Aww," she hugged her back, slapping her ass playfully before pulling away. "Don't tell me you missed me." Both Emma and Ruby weren't exactly emotionally expressive people, but they had definitely changed these past few years, being more open about their feelings and trusting one another more than anything.

"Maybe, maybe not," Emma said with a shrug. "Guess we'll never know."

Laughing, Ruby made her way towards the leather couch and sat down. "I'll take that as a yes."

"It's really good to see you, Rubes," Emma admitted, her smile never wavering. "Just because you're a hotshot businesswoman now doesn't mean you forget about your friends." She was teasing, of course; Emma hadn't had the chance to really talk to Ruby, but she knew how difficult it's been for her after her grandmother retired and left her in charge.

"Oh, shut up," she said with a punch to Emma's shoulder. "I have so much to tell you but I can't do that on an empty stomach. So, what's for dinner?"

After settling on Chinese, Ruby told Emma all about the challenges she had to deal with as she took over her grandmother's business. She explained that, even though most of the employees knew her, some even since she was a little girl, not everyone was entirely welcoming. One man in particular, a typical misogynistic asshole, had tried to secretly collect votes from the company's board members to replace her as CEO.

Thankfully, she was able to secure the majority of votes, but the threat of losing her family's company had really taken its toll on her. She had become so scared of another coup that she had buried herself in work, going so far as to do things that aren't typically done by CEOs just to ensure perfection. Still, it was way more work than she should have to handle, and slowly, she was starting to put her trust back in her employees.

"But enough about me," Ruby said with a wave of her hand. "I know how your orphanage is doing, it's almost always on the news. I need to hear about  _you,_ how's life treating you? Any special lady I should know about?"

Emma couldn't help but laugh at how Ruby always seemed to be more interested in her love life than anything else. Were it anybody else, she wouldn't have been so kind in her response, but she knew that Ruby was only looking out for her, and that her happiness was her only concern. "No, unfortunately. I've been so busy with the orphanage that I haven't really had the time to meet anyone."

" _Emma_ ," Ruby whined, using her hand to softly push the blonde's shoulder. "Come  _on._ Are you honestly telling me that you've been so busy these past few weeks that you haven't had a chance to go out and have fun?"

"Don't act so surprised," Emma nudged her friend's shoulder back. "You've been busy too, you know what I'm talking about. I bet you haven't done anything not business related in months."

Ruby gasped dramatically, feigning offense. "Of course I have! I make it a rule to go crazy at least once a week. It's necessary for my sanity." Emma shook her head in amusement as Ruby went on, "Let me ask you something, when was the last time you got laid?"

Emma had to take a moment to think about that. It wasn't that long ago, was it? She hadn't dated anyone in three years at least, that she was certain of. She did, however, have a few one-night-stands every once in a while. After Regina, no one seemed to interest her in the slightest, no matter how attractive they might have been. And sleeping around wasn't something at the top of her list, and she only tended to do it on the rare occasion that her loneliness got the better of her. "Last year, I think," she finally answered.

"Last year?" Ruby gasped again, shocked. "You've denied the women of Boston the privilege of sleeping with you for a whole year?"

Emma laughed at that more than she probably should have. "Oh, shut up."

"I'm one hundred percent serious, Emma," she said without a hint of a smile. "Do you need me to be your wing-woman? 'Cause I can definitely do that."

"I don't need you to do anything," the blonde said, still chuckling. "It's not because I can't find anyone to sleep with, it's simply because I don't want to. Like I said, I've been devoted to the orphanage, and I haven't really felt the need to be with anyone but the kids there." Emma paused, before softly admitting, "I probably spend more time there than I do at the loft."

Moving a little closer to Emma and wrapping an around her shoulders, Ruby sighed. It was time for her to put the jokes aside. "Emma, I understand how much that place means to you, and for how long you've wanted to have it. But things are finally starting to settle down now, don't you think it would be nice to have someone to share it with?"

She couldn't deny that she hadn't thought of the same thing, but despite the time that had passed, Emma was still not completely over Regina. In fact, she didn't think she could ever be. "I'm fine, Rubes," she tried to reassure her. "The orphanage has come to mean so much more to me than I could have ever imagined—it strangely feels like home."

Ruby tightened her grip and pulled her in even closer, not entirely sure what to say. She was incredibly happy that Emma was able to accomplish something she had wanted for as long as she could remember, but at the same time, she knew that making that place her home wasn't particularly healthy. The children living there would come and go, and she knew her friend well enough to realize that, when that happens, things will get bad again.

Ruby was present during the aftermath of Emma and Regina's breakup; she was there when her friend fell apart for the second time, and she saw how long it took her to start feeling okay again. A part of Emma, Ruby realized, was lost with Regina all those years ago, and she was almost certain that the blonde was permanently changed. She hesitated, still debating whether what she was about to say was really a good idea. Taking a deep breath, she spoke, "Remember what else made you feel at home? Regina."

Emma sharply looked up, her face a mixture of shock and disbelief. They hadn't spoken of the professor since the final break up, and she hadn't expected her to bring Regina up at all.

When Emma had told Ruby about what happened in the professor's office years ago, Ruby wanted to voice her opinion, to tell her that she had made a mistake. But her friend was a mess, and she chose to support her instead. Six years had passed, however, and although they never really discussed it, Ruby knew that Emma hadn't forgotten about Regina. She knew that she  _couldn't_. "I'm going to be honest with you. I think it was a mistake to let her go."

Emma was finding it difficult to process Ruby's words and she wasn't quite sure how to respond. She was still very much shocked, and with the last statement, she was starting to feel a little angry too. She pulled back, putting some distance between the two of them, but remained silent.

"I didn't say anything at the time because I knew that what you needed the most was someone to support you, not to lecture you. But a long time has passed now, and the only reason I'm bringing this up is because I know you're still not over her."

Emma wanted so badly to lash out, to tell Ruby that she had no right to bring this up, but for reasons she couldn't quite explain, she didn't speak.

Ruby took that as an invitation to continue. "I know you might not like what I have to say, but you have to trust me when I say that I'm doing this for your own good. The reason I know you still have feelings for her is because I know  _you,_ Emma. I was there when you fell in love with her, and I was there when everything fell apart.

"She pushed you away first, she hurt you first, but you have to understand how difficult it was for her to deal with the assault. She had made a mistake with the way she dealt with things, we both knew that, but she tried to fix it and you didn't give her the chance to."

"I didn't want to get hurt again," she finally confessed, her voice shaking. "Every fiber of my being was aching for me to take her back, I had never loved anyone as much as I did her, and I wasn't prepared for her to break me again."

Ruby wanted more than anything to hold her, but she could tell that the blonde needed her space for now. "I'm not denying the reasons you did it were valid, but it's because you loved her so much that it was worth giving it another try. I didn't know her well, Emma, but from the one meeting I had with her, I could tell that she was crazy about you."

"How?" Emma didn't say any more as the memories rushed back, overwhelming her.

"Because I could see how miserable she was without you. The only reason she pushed you away was because she thought she was protecting you, not because she had stopped loving you," Ruby tried to explain.

"What's the point, Ruby?" she spoke, her voice barely a whisper. "It's been six years. It's not like she'll be waiting for me." Deep down, she knew Ruby was right. But why bring it up after all this time? She couldn't possibly hope to fix it. Not now.

"I don't know whether she is or isn't waiting for you, Emma," Ruby spoke honestly. "What I do know is that you've been holding on to her for the past six years, and you either need to try and fix it or move on. You can't let your fear of rejection or abandonment dictate your life."

Emma could no longer control her emotions, her shoulders shaking as the tears rushed down her face without her permission.

Taking that as her queue to step in, Ruby engulfed the sobbing woman in her arms, squeezing as tightly as she could to let her know that she was not alone. "I can't imagine how painful this must be. I only want you to be happy, Emma. I've never seen you as happy as you were with Regina, not even when you finally got your orphanage, and that's saying something.

"Remember how much regret you felt when you found out Natalie left you all that money?" she continued. "It made you realize that she really did love you, and you regretted pushing her away. Shouldn't you learn from that?"

Ruby was right; despite how familiar she was with being abandoned and the hurt that accompanied it, she went ahead and subjected both Natalie and Regina to it. This realization made her feel like a coward and a hypocrite, and although she had initially rejected Regina to protect herself, it did much more damage than good.

The orphanage had done so much for her emotional well-being, and she really did feel at home there. But Regina was her one true home—she had never felt safer than she was with her, and she still pushed her away.

Although she left Natalie, the woman continued to love her regardless, and still chose to give her the means to accomplish her dream even after her death. Shouldn't Emma learn from that? Take it as a lesson to forgive, to let go, to love with abandon?

As the comprehension seemed to dawn on Emma, her first thought was that she needed to find Regina. She hadn't seen or spoken to the brunette in years, but she was determined to do everything in her power to find her. Emma didn't know what to expect, and had no idea of what she would say or do if she really were to track her down, but the decision was already made.

She needed to get to Regina.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone. This was supposed to be the final chapter in Circumstance but I have decided to rewrite/add a few things. Consequently there will be one more chapter than what I had planned. This chapter is pure angst, so I apologize in advance for that. Rest assured that the final chapter will see our two ladies reunited, and all will be well.

As Emma made her way towards the lobby of The Beekman, she couldn't help but take a moment to admire how beautifully opulent the hotel was. Her view of the central atrium made it easy to see its exquisite design, and its glass top gave her a lovely glimpse of some of Manhattan's skyscrapers. As she approached the tapestry-draped reception desk, Emma was greeted by a kind looking man. "Hey," she said with a grin.

"Hello," the man responded with a smile of his own. "How may I help you?"

"I have a room booked under the name Emma Swan," she said as she pulled out her credit card and ID. As the concierge verified her booking, Emma took a minute to scan the lobby, her eyes both nervous and eager to spot the reason she came to this hotel in the first place.

"Ms. Swan, someone will be right with you to show you to your room."

Nodding, she stepped to the side to allow the couple behind her to move forward and waited. A young man, barely 18, arrived soon after and offered to carry her duffel bag and lead her to her room. Holding on to her bag, Emma asked him to lead the way.

"Are you here to see the city, Ms. Swan?" the boy asked, wanting more to fill the silence than to pry.

"Not really," Emma replied vaguely. Not wanting to come off as unfriendly, she added, "I'm here for the psychology seminar this evening." That was enough information; she wasn't going to tell him that she didn't really give a crap about the seminar, or that the only reason she was there was in hopes of bumping into her ex-girlfriend.

When Emma had decided to track Regina down, she was prepared to do anything to make it happen. To her surprise and relief, finding her was much easier than she had anticipated. Her former professor had changed her phone number so contacting her directly wasn't an option, but a simple Google search of her name provided Emma with instant results as to where she could find her.

Regina had moved to New York upon taking a job as the head of the Psychology Department in Columbia University. Emma was more than prepared to go to her office just to talk to the woman, but to her luck, she found out about a seminar taking place at The Beekman, and Regina was going to be one of the speakers. Emma figured it was the perfect opportunity for her to stage a 'chance' encounter with the brunette, and she hoped that being in public with her former professor would reduce some of the tension.

Before giving Emma her key card, the boy used it to open the door for her and show her inside. Then, with a small smile, he wished her a pleasant stay and made his way back to the elevator.

* * *

 

As she entered the hall where the seminar was taking place, Emma immediately began scanning the crowds. When her search proved unfruitful, she made her way to a seat somewhere in the back, hoping that Regina wouldn't be able to spot her first.

Amidst the chaos of greetings and conversations, Emma took a moment to figure out exactly what she would say to Regina when she finally saw her.  _Hey_ , would probably be a good start, she thought.  _Sorry I didn't forgive you six years ago for abandoning me, wanna start over?_ She shook her head, feeling silly for even considering that. The fact of the matter was, up until traveling to New York and attending the conference, Emma had no plan whatsoever.

It bothered her, not knowing what to do or what to expect. She was a planner and she always liked to be in control of the situation, but the time spent away from Regina had made it almost impossible for her to predict the outcome. The woman had probably moved on since then, found love with another person, and completely forgot about Emma.

The thought was terrifying albeit highly possible, and Emma tried her best to bury it deep down into her mind. Perhaps not knowing what to expect was a good thing—it meant that rejection was not the only possible way things could turn out. Taking a deep breath, Emma figured the best thing to do was to not overthink it. She was there to fix things with Regina, and if it didn't work, she could at least say that she tried.

Maybe then she could truly begin to heal.

As the lights dimmed and the chatter slowly began to die down, a man made his way towards the podium and introduced himself. He offered everyone a summary of the program, and to Emma's misfortune, Regina's name wasn't mentioned until the very end. Normally, she would've been quite interested in these kind of seminars, especially ones talking about new research in the field of social psychology. But she wasn't there for that, she was there for Regina, and she really didn't want to have to wait until the very end to see her.

Still, it wasn't all too unbearable, and soon it was Regina's turn to speak. As the brunette finally made her way towards the platform, looking as graceful and as breathtaking as ever, time seemed to stand still. Everything and everyone else around her faded—all she could see was Regina, and all she could hear was the deafening beat of her own heart.

Her former professor's voice filtered through the space between them, and Emma couldn't help but take a moment to close her eyes and listen to the woman that still possessed her very soul. She knew she still had feelings for Regina, but it was only now that she realized just how profound those feelings were. Emma was surrounded by at least 50 other people and she was utterly enamored.

The next 30 minutes or so were a blur; besides the PowerPoint slide displayed by the projector, Emma had no idea what Regina was talking about. Her only thought was that she needed the older woman to wrap it all up so she could finally speak with her, though what she would say remained a mystery.

Soon after, Regina said her concluding remarks and thanked everyone for attending before leaving the podium. Emma stood up, eager to make her way towards the brunette, but as she went closer, she found that she wasn't the only one. Regina was surrounded by at least half a dozen men and women, all asking questions and posing arguments regarding her previous presentation.

Not wanting to catch Regina's attention just yet, Emma stood somewhere close to the congregation but not enough to be easily seen. She waited patiently for the last of them to disperse, taking a deep breath to steady her nerves before walking up to her former professor and tapping her shoulder.

"Hey," she said with a sheepish grin, her hands buried in the pockets of her slacks to stop herself from fidgeting. "It's been a while."

* * *

 

When Regina turned around, her smile was quickly replaced with a gasp and an open mouth, the shock of seeing Emma completely taking over her features. She took a step back, her head shaking slightly as she wondered if Emma really was there, or if she was imagining it all.

She hadn't seen the blonde in years, and if she were quite honest with herself, she was hoping she wouldn't ever see her again. One of the main reasons she had moved to New York in the first place was to avoid such an encounter. It took Regina over two years to really put everything that happened in Boston behind her, but as Emma stood there before her, all of her progress seemed to come undone.

Regina was unraveling once again.

"Uh, how have you been?"

Regina's hands were shaking, and it took every ounce of her control not to turn around and run as far away from the blonde as possible. She took several deep breaths, trying her best to steady her heart, but as she was about to speak, an arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her close. "Richard!" her voice was two octaves higher than what it normally was, and she wanted more than anything to just disappear on the spot.

"Hello, darling," the man gave her a bright smile before kissing her cheek. "You were phenomenal up there." Emma exchanged looks with Regina, then her attention was drawn to an expensive looking ring on her right hand. As soon as it dawned on her, she realized that coming here was a terrible mistake.

She was just about ready to leave when the man extended a hand to shake hers, saying, "pardon my manners. My name is Richard, and I'm this beautiful woman's fiancé."

Regina felt incredibly uncomfortable, and as her eyes met Emma's, she could see that the younger woman was feeling the same. She knew she needed to say something, she had been quiet for far too long, but it was as though she had lost her voice from the shock of Emma's presence.

Emma shook his hand, taking a moment to study the man before her. He was tall and handsome, with dark hair and striking blue eyes. Even though she wasn't straight, she could definitely see the appeal, and as she examined the two of them, she thought they looked good together. Her chest ached at the thought, and she decided she really needed to get out of there. "I'm an old friend of Regina's," she said with a forced smile. "But I was actually just leaving. It was nice seeing you again, Regina." Giving the couple a quick nod, she all but ran out of the hall.

* * *

 

Regina was acting strange for the rest of that night, and she could tell that Richard was very much aware of it. She hadn't said a word during the car ride back home, and when they did arrive, she immediately made her way towards the bathroom and locked herself in.

She hadn't had an anxiety attack in over two years, but she could feel one coming as she pressed her back to the door and slid down, her very bones shaking with the impact of the encounter. Regina had no idea why she was reacting like this; she had genuinely thought she was over Emma, that she had forgotten how deeply she cared for her. But upon seeing her, all of those feelings and memories came rushing back, and as she began to remember, she was finding it increasingly difficult to breathe.

Covering her mouth to muffle her sobs, Regina hoped Richard was somewhere far away from the bathroom. The last thing she needed was for him to hear and ask for an explanation, one she wasn't quite ready to give. It took her a few tries to regulate her breathing, clenching and unclenching her fists to get the blood flowing. When she finally felt steady enough to stand up, she washed her face and let out a shaky sigh.

Her mind was slightly less chaotic, and she found herself able to think about the meeting with Emma without the threat of falling apart. Why was she at the conference? Was it by accident, or did she plan all of it? If it was planned, what did she hope to accomplish? Was she just saying hello, or was there more to it? With each minute, the questions she had multiplied, and she realized that the only way she could get them answered was if she were to meet with her again.

Regina had lost Emma's number when she changed hers, and so simply calling was not an option. Her best bet was to go back to the hotel; if she's lucky, Emma would be staying in one of the rooms there. She considered waiting for tomorrow to go back to the hotel, but she feared the blonde might disappear. Ideally, that would have been the best option; she was engaged, after all, and she really didn't need the unnecessary confusion. But if she was being completely honest with herself, she missed her.

With her mind set on driving back to the hotel, she knew that Richard deserved a brief explanation to everything that happened tonight. When she finally found him in his study, she hesitantly walked in. "Richard, do you have a moment?"

"Of course, honey," he said with a kind smile, leaving his chair and walking towards her to give her a hug. "Are you alright? You don't seem like yourself."

She wasn't quite sure what to say, so she thought she should get right into it. "Do you remember the woman you met just before we left?" When the man didn't show any recognition, she continued. "Blonde, wearing a suit? She shook your hand then left quite abruptly?"

"Ah, yes! The woman that said she was an old friend of yours," he said with a nod, before adding, "she looked quite dashing, actually." Richard studied her face and saw that she was being unusually serious. "What about her?"

"That was Emma," she said simply. She knew he didn't require any further explanation—Richard and her were friends long before they started dating, and she had told him all about Emma Swan. Looking at him now, she could see both understanding and concern on his face. She didn't need to be a mind reader to know what he was thinking.

"I see," he said calmly, understanding now why the woman seemed so eager to leave. "What did she say?"

"Nothing more than hello—you happened to come at the right moment," she said, though she wasn't quite sure if it was the 'right moment' per se. She didn't know if his presence made the situation more or less awkward. Perhaps it made it less so, seeing as it robbed her of the chance to confront the blonde. "And I was so stunned by the fact she was there that I didn't say much either."

He nodded, clearly thinking about how to process this information. "I suppose you'd like to meet with her again?"

She held his hand, squeezing it tightly in hopes of reassuring him. "Only to find out why she was there in the first place." And at that moment, she was telling the truth. She cared about him, and breaking off their engagement over someone she used to love six years ago made no sense.

Richard smiled at that, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. "I understand, darling." There was so much more he wanted to say, but something kept him from voicing it all. He knew that he couldn't exactly keep Regina from seeing Emma, so protesting was not something he was going to do. He was also not going to show her that he was more than a little worried; he knew how long it took Regina to move on, and he was afraid the blonde showing up would ruin all of it. She gave him a quick peck on the lips and promised that she wouldn't take too long.

He really hoped she wouldn't.

* * *

 

When Regina finally arrived at the hotel, she quickly made her way towards the reception desk. She had spent the entirety of the car ride thinking of what she would say to the blonde; yes, she had many questions for her, but she also didn't want it to come off as an interrogation. Apart from her many inquiries, and to her disbelief, Regina found herself longing to be in Emma's presence. The possibility of her still having feelings for the younger woman was beginning to seep into her consciousness, and she quite frankly didn't know what to do with herself.

The concierge greeted her, but she was too anxious to exchange pleasantries. "I'm looking for someone," she began. "Emma Swan, I believe she is staying at this hotel." After she said that, she realized that she couldn't be sure the woman really was here. It was simply the first and only place she thought to look, and she really hoped she wouldn't be disappointed.

The man looked at her, his face apologetic, "I'm sorry, madam. We value our guests' privacy and I am not at liberty to disclose any information regarding who may or may not be staying at our hotel."

Regina immediately regretted her choice of words, realizing that she should have introduced herself as someone that already knew Emma was staying there, and that she was simply trying to get in touch. Still, she wasn't going to be deterred. "Please, we were together only a few hours ago." When the man shook his head, she tried again, "Could you just call her and tell her that Regina Mills is here to see her? If she doesn't want to meet with me, then I shall leave."

The concierge sighed, aware that the woman was probably not going to be giving up that easily. He reached for the telephone and dialed a number too quickly for Regina to see. "Miss Swan, I'm sorry to disturb you" he spoke with a low voice. "A Miss Regina Mills is here to see you." He waited for a response, but there was complete silence. "Would you like—yes, I understand. Right away." Hanging up, he diverted his attention to Regina. "You may go up to her room, 108." Regina thanked him and tried really hard not to run towards the elevator.

When she saw Emma leaning against her door frame, wearing a simple tank top and shorts that were too short to be seen in public, Regina's heart stopped. It was like no time had passed at all; the younger woman was as beautiful as ever, her long blonde curls looking even softer than she remembered and her emerald eyes as stunning as always. She was six years older, but her body hadn't aged a day, still appearing strong and toned.

Regina wondered if meeting with her alone was really a good idea.

"Hey," Emma said for the second time that night. "I didn't expect to see you. Come in." She let Regina in and closed the door, offering her a seat before sitting on the edge of the bed. Emma assumed the reason Regina showed up was because she had questions, and so decided to give her the opportunity to start.

After a moment that seemed to stretch on for far too long, Regina whispered, "What are you doing here?" She figured she should've at least said hello, asked the blonde how she was doing, but her thoughts were in a raging war and she desperately needed to empty her mind.

"It's nice to see you too," Emma joked, but seeing the unnerved look on Regina's face, she quickly apologized. "I came to see you."

Regina couldn't have said she didn't expect the answer, but the straightforward nature of it caught her off guard. "Why?" she asked again, needing her to be a little more elaborate. "Why did you come to see me after all this time?"

Emma's eyes fell to her fidgeting hands, not entirely sure where to begin. "It's a long story, actually."

"I have time," she said a little too quickly. She bit her lip, afraid she was being too forceful. "I'd like to hear it," she tried again, more calmly.

Emma finally looked up, meeting the dark eyes of the woman she was still very much in love with, and let out a heavy sigh. "I came to try and fix this," she said while gesturing between the two of them. "I wanted to fix us."

* * *

 

She wasn't quite sure what would be relevant or irrelevant in this situation, and opted to tell Regina everything that had happened ever since their final break up. She tried to be as brief as possible, pausing every once in a while to let the information sink in. Emma even told her about Natalie and the money she left her, and how it was thanks to her that she was able to make the orphanage a reality.

"Oh," was all Regina was able to say, the past hour or so feeling both long and not long enough. She was  unsure of how to respond, or how to feel for that matter. As Emma spoke, her memories of their time together seemed to become more vivid, and she found herself feeling a longing that was growing stronger by the second.

She had truly believed that she no longer loved the younger woman, no longer ached to be with her. But seeing her now, and hearing her story and her reasons for coming here after all these years, Regina was beginning to doubt herself. What also surprised her was that she thought she would be furious with Emma, but anger was the last thing on her mind.

Six years ago, Regina had been going through, some would say, an existential crisis, and she had believed that pushing Emma away was the best and only option. But although her decision at the time had seemed logical, she knew it was a mistake. So she worked really hard on getting better, for herself and for Emma, and when she had finally found the courage to ask her to come back, the blonde had rejected her. Regina couldn't imagine an outcome where they wouldn't be together, because that was simply how deeply she felt for her.

Six years later and the outcome made a little more sense to her now. Regina knew enough about the woman’s past and her traumatic experiences with abandonment, she should have realized that that was what made Emma leave. But she had been too wrapped up in her own trauma that she had understandably missed it. At the time, she didn’t think she was abandoning her.

Despite her understanding, however, Regina's pain wasn't any less unbearable. She had hoped that the blonde would see her sincerity, and the immense amount of love she had for her, but she supposed she had underestimated the effect Emma’s past had on her.

So no, she did not feel anger. What she found herself feeling instead was sadness, sadness because Emma hadn’t come to find her sooner. She had remained in Boston a year before she finally decided to move to New York, and during that time, though she would never admit it aloud, Emma coming back to her was a recurring dream of hers. Even after her move, Regina still had hopes, though with each passing day their intensity dwindled until they eventually fizzled out.

At least, that's what she had thought.

"Regina?" Emma's voice was nothing more than a whisper, drawing her attention to her prolonged silence. "Say something, please?"

Even in the darkness of the hotel room, Regina could see the desperation reflected in the emerald eyes she once loved. She allowed herself to get lost in them for a moment, realizing in her mind how cliché it sounded. But she did it anyway, the emotions she had for the woman before her growing in force despite her best efforts. "I never meant to make you feel abandoned, Emma. I need you to know that."

“I know,” Emma whispered, her voice cracking as the tears threatened to fall. “I know that now. I’m just sorry it took me so long to realize it.”

Regina smiled, but it was more bittersweet than anything. She wished it hadn’t taken that long either. “There’s no need to apologize.” When Emma made to speak, she quickly added, “I really mean it. I think,” she took a deep breath, then continued. “I think that the way things turned out, there was no helping it. It took me a long time to come to terms with it, but I was a victim of something that had broken me. And you, well, you were a victim of your past experiences. I handled things quite poorly.”

“No, Regina,” Emma said as she slowly knelt before her, her hands hesitantly reaching out to grasp hers. She couldn’t help her heart swelling when the older woman didn’t push her away. “I’m the one who should’ve handled things better. I hadn’t realized how affected I still was by my shitty past and that blinded me. I couldn’t understand how to deal with things after what happened to you and even though I knew all too well what being abandoned felt like, I went right ahead and did that to you. I’m so sorry, Regina.”

Pulling one of her hands away from Emma’s grasp, she reached out and gently caressed her cheek. “How about we agree that we both screwed up?”

Before she could register the action, Emma took Regina’s hand and brought it to her lips. On contact, Regina gasped and quickly pulled away. She really wished Emma hadn’t done that.

She wished she hadn’t loved it as much as she had.

"I’m sorry,” but if she were being honest with herself, Emma wasn’t sorry at all. “I know it's been a while but…” Emma hesitated, not quite sure if she wanted to know the answer to her question. “Regina, do you still have feelings for me?” She suddenly recalled the encounter she had with the brunette and the man that introduced himself as her fiancé. How could she have forgotten? "Oh, never mind,” her disappointment very much evident. “Of course you don't, you have Richard."

How could Regina possibly respond to that? She was engaged, for God's sake. She was engaged to a man she had been with for the past year—a man that was kind, and generous, and so very caring. Her friends and colleagues envied her, constantly reminding her of how lucky she was to have 'caught' such a perfect man. She couldn't betray him or his trust, could she? But she had dreamed of this moment for so long, of when Emma would come and find her. “You know,” she paused, wondering whether or not to go on. She then decided that, for the sake of her wellbeing, she needed to get it off her chest. “I had waited so long for you, Emma.”

Emma held her breath, very much aware that this conversation could go either way.

“I waited for you in Boston, and even when I moved to New York, I waited for you still. I kept hoping that one day you would show up and everything would be back to the way it was. I couldn’t get into a relationship and I found that I didn’t really want to.” Regina inhaled deeply then let out a shaky breath before whispering, “I was starting to accept that you… you had ruined me for anyone else.”

“Regina, I…” but Emma had no words to say. And how could she, when the woman she loved with her entirety was sitting there in front of her and telling her that she had ruined her?

"To answer your question," Regina continued, her voice raspier than usual. "Yes, I do." When she saw the confusion on Emma's face, she clarified, "I still have feelings for you."

Emma was praying to any God out there for that answer, but she was still taken aback when she heard the words fall from Regina's lips. She couldn't help the smile that was suddenly plastered on her face, her heart beginning to swell with the unspoken possibilities.

"But I cannot leave Richard," Regina said simply.

And with that, Emma's heart sank almost as quickly as it rose. "Oh," her eyes fell to her hands, desperate to avoid the woman’s gaze, wanting more than anything to somehow retreat, to become enclosed within herself and ultimately, cease to exist. "I understand." She knew she was too late, she was  _six_   _years_ too late, and she had no control over any of it. Not anymore.

Emma had told herself that all she needed to do was try, that, even if she failed to patch things up with Regina, simply trying would somehow help her move on. But everything she told herself was a lie—the only way she could heal was by getting Regina back, and now, she was afraid she would remain broken for the rest of her life.

"I'm sorry, Emma," Regina spoke again, both her voice and her entire body shaking with emotion. "I'm so sorry." Then, without another word, she stood up and walked out of the hotel room, making sure not to look back lest she change her mind.

If she had looked back, she would have seen Emma shatter.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> With this chapter, Circumstance has come to an end. I can't thank you all enough for your kudos and comments. I can honestly say that your feedback has helped me improve as a writer and I couldn't have asked for a better outcome from sharing this story. A lot of heart has gone into it, and it makes me incredibly happy knowing that you guys have enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. And for those of you that did not like it, I hope you find what you're looking for in other fanfics. 
> 
> On to the grand finale!

For the next few weeks, Regina tried her best to seem as normal as possible even though, on the inside, she was in a constant state of war. Trying to hold herself together throughout her day was taking every ounce of her energy, but as soon as she had the opportunity to be alone, she welcomed the tears like an old friend.

She had never been in such an intense state of conflict before; meeting with Emma had forced her to confront the fact that she wasn't entirely over her, and she wasn't prepared to deal with the aftermath. With each day, Emma's absence became more insufferable, and the desire to be with her again was unlike anything she had ever experienced. Her former student's appearance had reminded her of how connected she felt to her, and how empty it left her after they had parted ways.

What was even harder, however, was keeping it all from Richard. He was a smart man, and she was almost certain that he had his suspicions. After she had come home from the hotel that night, she had asked him not to inquire about it, and to her relief, he was more than understanding. But she had visibly changed these past weeks; she was almost always on edge, and socializing was something she no longer found interest in. Richard remained as understanding as ever, which only made matters worse.

The guilt was threatening to consume her.

One day, something silly turned into an even sillier argument, and Regina couldn't help but snap. She apologized profusely as soon as it had happened, but Richard didn't say a word, his eyes fixed on the ground. When he looked up, finally meeting her eyes, she could clearly see the sadness in them, and the hatred she felt towards herself in that moment was enough to bring her to tears.

"Regina," the man spoke, his voice soft and bereft of the anger she expected. "Come here." He patted the spot beside him on the couch, and when she hesitantly took a seat, he held her hand in both of his. "I have tried my best to respect your boundaries, and I honestly thought I could continue doing so," he paused, wondering how he should approach this. "Could you please tell me what's going on? Have I done something to upset you?"

It was that question that made Regina finally give into her emotions, placing a hand on her mouth to stifle her sobs. Richard wrapped his arms around her, pulling her in as close as he could. He held her for a moment until he felt she was ready to speak, then sat back, her hand back in his. "I'm sorry, Richard," she murmured. "I'm so sorry."

Taking a deep breath, Regina tried to collect herself—she knew she needed both strength and courage to be honest with Richard. But how in the world could she have this conversation without hurting the man she had promised to marry? Where would she even begin?

When the silence stretched on, Richard decided to speak first, hoping to nudge Regina into finally sharing what she had been struggling with for a while. “Is this about Emma?” A slow nod was all he got in response. At the confirmation, Richard forgot for a moment that he was sitting next to his fiancé. All he saw was the woman he had met several years ago, looking very similar to what she had looked like in the past—broken and in pain. He suddenly recalled much of their earlier conversations about her ex-lover, and he realized that the way he needed to approach this was as her friend. He hated seeing her like this, as though she was being torn apart from the inside right before his eyes. “Do you feel comfortable enough to tell me about what happened that night?” He didn’t need to elaborate, he knew Regina would understand.

“Are you sure you want to hear it?” She said hesitantly, not entirely comfortable talking about it. But she was also aware that it was her only option if she didn’t want to revert back to the same state she was in 6 years ago. She didn’t think she would come out of it alive this time around.

Squeezing her hand for reassurance, Richard gave her a soft smile, “if it will help me figure out how to make you feel better, then yes, I’m quite sure.”

That was all the encouragement Regina needed, and trying her best to steady her breathing, she began, “It wasn’t an accident, running into Emma that day. She was there to ask me if we could start over.”

Richard couldn’t say he wasn’t expecting that. From what Regina had told him in the past about her relationship with Emma, he knew that it was something that meant a great deal to both of them. He tried his best to stifle the jealousy that was threatening to rise to the surface. This wasn’t about him, he tried to remind himself, this was about Regina. “Why 6 years later?” And although he meant to ask it out of curiosity, it sounded a little more defensive than that.

Regina didn’t miss the nature of his tone, but she went on nonetheless. It was too late to go back now. “I asked myself that as well. Emma had gone through a few changes in the past few years,” she paused, not sure how much she should share. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Richard, she did wholeheartedly. But this wasn’t just about her, it was about Emma as well. It wasn’t only her story to tell. “She had felt abandoned by me and that was something almost impossible for her to forgive.”

“So she’s decided to forgive you now?”

“Not entirely.” When she saw the confused look on his face, she elaborated, “she believes that I am the one that should forgive her, actually.”

Although Richard agreed that the blonde should be the one apologizing for hurting Regina, he chose not to voice his opinion. He didn’t think that was what Regina needed right now. “And did you? Forgive her, I mean.”

“I think so,” she said slowly. “I didn’t think I could ever, after what happened. But seeing her after so long and hearing her side of the story, so to speak, made me reconsider. Ultimately, I think we both needed to forgive ourselves and each other.”

Despite the fact that he was sitting there with the woman he loved talking about the woman _she_ once loved, Richard couldn’t help but feel a little happy to hear that. He knew how much Regina had struggled with that break-up and how long it had taken her to feel like herself again. Perhaps this was the very thing she needed for closure. Still, he couldn’t shake the feeling that she wasn’t telling him everything. If they had forgiven each other, then why did she seem so troubled? So despondent? Should he just let it go, or should he push further? He went with the latter. “Did something else happen?”

“I…” Regina stuttered, her struggle to find the words very much evident. She wished she could just disappear on the spot so she could avoid having this conversation altogether. She wished the guilt that had manifested as a result of her brief meeting with Emma did not exist. She had believed that the feelings she had for the woman had all but vanished after years of no contact. She had hoped to God that they did. It didn’t make sense to her, how a single encounter years later would be enough to set everything ablaze and awaken emotions that had not faded completely as she had thought, but simply lay dormant. How then, was she supposed to explain it to someone else? To her soon-to-be husband, no less? “Nothing happened, Richard. I promise.”

“I believe you,” he said without hesitation, making it clear he didn’t need any further assurances. “But you have been unhappy. Why is that?”

Regina took a deep breath and exhaled, then finally admitted, “Seeing Emma made me realize that…I may still have feelings for her.” When Richard remained silent, she quickly added, “but Richard, you needn’t worry. I told her that I choose you.”

As she said that, Richard pulled his hands away from hers and stood up. He turned around and took a few steps away from her, hoping she wouldn’t see the hurt that was very visible on his face. Shouldn’t he be elated that Regina had chosen him over Emma? That despite the feelings she had for her, she favored him? He supposed the answer was simple. Even though Regina _had_ chosen him, the decision hadn’t made her happy. At that, he was suddenly hit with a realization so powerful that it shook him to his very core. Looking back at Regina, he couldn’t help the pained smile that appeared. “Are you happy with me, Regina?” he asked, his voice but a whisper.

“What? Of course I am! How could you—”

“Are you as happy with me as you were with her?” He cut her off, but his tone was neither aggressive nor angry. He just wanted her to really think about this, about them, because while she had made the decision to stay with him, he suspected she didn’t quite grasp what it was doing to her. 

Regina was finding it increasingly difficult to breathe, and she hoped to God that it wouldn’t turn into a full-blown anxiety attack. Why was he asking her such questions? Was it not enough that she had refused Emma? She couldn’t bring herself to answer him, and instead said, “I made a commitment to you, Richard. Nothing else matters.”

Making his way back to her, he reached out once more and held her hand in his. He wondered if she realized how that sounded, as though she felt imprisoned by her commitment to him. “It matters to me,” he said softly. When she remained silent, he continued, “Regina, I believe I owe you an apology.”

She couldn’t hide the look of surprise and confusion on her face when she heard that. She had just told him that she still had feelings for her ex-girlfriend, why was he apologizing? “I don’t understand…what for?”

“That night I proposed to you…” he hesitated, finding it difficult not to get lost in the memory of it. “I didn’t give you much of a choice, did I?”

“Richard, what are you saying?” She couldn’t quite follow where he was going with this.

“My whole family was there, our friends, so many people… Regina, I need you to be honest with me. Did you feel pressured into saying yes that night?”

The question had Regina completely stunned. She wanted to speak out, to reassure him that accepting his proposal was what she wanted to do, but to her disbelief, no words were coming out. She briefly recalled the events of that night, a Christmas party hosted at his parents’ villa. The utter shock she had felt at seeing him down on one knee should have been normal—proposals were meant to be surprises, after all. But thinking about it now, she supposed the shock could have been for another reason entirely: she never imagined marrying Richard.

As that epiphany made its way to the forefront of her mind, Regina tried to hide the sheer impact it had on her. _I never imagined marrying him._ This thought disturbed her more than she could have imagined. When she was with Emma, their future together had seemed… _inevitable_. She didn’t need to have superpowers or magic to know that they were going to spend the rest of their lives together. 

But with Richard, things were very different. She wondered if it had anything to do with the fact that they were friends before they started dating. She had come to care for him, but not once had she thought about what lay ahead for them.

Not once had she thought about sharing the rest of her life with him.

So, had she felt pressured into becoming his fiancé that night? It wouldn’t have been entirely surprising if she had. Being asked such an important question in front of such a large crowd, saying ‘no’ would have been near impossible. The more Regina thought about it, the more it made her struggle. She had been feeling many emotions during that Christmas party, but when she tried to remember one in particular, happiness, she found herself unable to.

Despite that, she knew Richard meant a lot to her, and the thought of hurting him made her feel even worse. “Perhaps I was,” she began slowly. “But Richard, believe me when I say that I care about you.”

“But you do not love me,” he said matter-of-factly. When Regina made to speak, he shook his head. “Not the way you loved Emma—the way you still do.” Richard knew her well enough to know she couldn’t argue with that. “As much as it pains me to admit it, you and I both know it’s the truth.”

Regina couldn’t help her heart breaking at hearing those words. She wanted so much to disagree, to assure him that everything he had said was not true at all, but she was unable to do so. She had no idea how to respond, all she could do was echo what she had said at the beginning of this conversation, “I’m so sorry, Richard.”

The thought of what would happen after this left Regina feeling anxious and insecure. Would they be able to move past this, or was it over between them? She could not predict a single outcome, so when Richard spoke these words next, she felt her heart stop for a moment.

“I think you should go to her, Regina.”

Not in a million years would she have expected that. “Richard…”

He gave her a smile, and although it was bittersweet, he hoped it would be enough to comfort her. “I’ll be okay, I promise. You were my friend long before you became my fiancé. I know you, I care about you, and I want you to be happy.”

At that point, Regina couldn’t stop the tears that had been threatening to fall all evening. Instead, she welcomed them as her heart rose and sank all at once. How could she have gotten so lucky as to meet such a man? The sea of emotions battling within her had drained her, and when she could no longer find her voice to speak, she chose instead to embrace him.

She didn’t know how long they stayed in that position, each one silently supporting the other. And when she finally pulled away from him, he whispered, “Go be with the woman you love.”

* * *

 

Despite the busy life of the city, the sound of her heels clicking against the pavement as she walked towards the apartment building was thundering in her ears. Stepping into the elevator, she prayed the woman she had come to see hadn't moved somewhere else. Her plan was largely based on speculation and hope, something she wasn't accustomed to, and quite frankly, not entirely comfortable with. But this was Regina's only chance, and she refused to give it up simply because she was afraid or uncertain.

It had been two months since their last meeting, and a lot had changed since then. Regina was no longer engaged to Richard; their conversation that night was as arduous as it was emotional, and after many tears were shed by both parties, their relationship had ended.

Regina couldn't help feeling guilty, the notion that she had wronged the man ever present in her mind, but those sentiments were quickly overpowered by the anguish she felt for being so far away from Emma. Alongside that, their friends' and colleagues' obtrusive curiosity was tiring to deal with, and rumor that Regina had some sort of affair had quickly spread. She was shunned by many she once called friends, despite Richard insisting that their choice to break the engagement off was mutual, and that they had parted on good terms.

She was unfazed, however, and could honestly care less what anyone thought of her. So, as soon as she had the chance, she took a few days off and booked a ticket to Boston. The nostalgia that hit as soon as she had landed was overwhelming, and she found herself reveling in the irony of it all—the reason she had left was the same one that brought her back:  _Emma Swan._

As she made her way down the hallway and towards the blonde's loft, Regina hesitated, the anxiety that was all too familiar making her hands tremble and sweat. Finally finding the strength to get to Emma's door, she took a deep breath and knocked.

When the door slid open, the shock and confusion on the blonde's face was all too clear, and Regina found herself once again captivated by the woman before her. Seeing her made everything around her fade away, and any doubts she thought she had immediately dissipated. Nothing else seemed to matter; the guilt, the uncertainty, the fear, it was all almost instantly replaced with love. So much love.

Richard was perfect, he was perfect in every way but one: he was not Emma.

It seemed almost absurd, really—Emma and her had only been together a few months, but in those brief months, Regina had shared with her more than she had shared with anyone else before, and she was more than certain Emma felt the same way. The love they had for one another was powerful and deep and passionate; in fact, it was Emma that had made her realize she had the capacity to love someone to such an extent.

That's why, as she gazed into the younger woman's eyes, she found that there were no words to be said, not anymore. She took a step forward, and another, slowly but surely closing the gap between them until their faces were inches apart. Regina parted her lips, a sigh of relief escaping when she wasn't pushed away, and pressed them against Emma's. Something about the kiss was… _magical_ , and as their lips fit together perfectly, their hearts seemed to beat as one.

It had been less than a minute and Emma was already feeling light-headed and quite frankly, a little weak in the knees. She had longed for this moment for years, and as she kissed Regina, she could tell that she wasn't the only one. They paused for a moment, resting their foreheads against one another as they attempted to catch their breath. "Regina," she finally managed to say, but she was quickly silenced with another heated kiss, the brunette's arms wrapping around her neck and pulling her even closer.

Regina didn't want to speak, not yet. She latched onto Emma, afraid that she might vanish any second, and brought their lips together, wanting, needing to soak her in. Despite her mind being completely overtaken by the very existence of the younger woman, one sentence seemed to persist:  _if it is meant to be, it will be._  When she had heard it at the time, Regina was more than a little skeptical, but being wrong had never felt so damn  _good_.

She kissed Emma once, twice, each one more urgent than the last. When Emma softly traced her lower lip with the tip of her tongue, clearly asking for permission, Regina didn’t hesitate in allowing her entrance. The deep moan that escaped as she did so was salacious, and when they broke the kiss, each one struggling to breathe, she couldn’t help but whisper, “You really _have_ ruined me for anyone else.”

Emma recalled how hearing that almost two months ago had made her feel—guilty and heartbroken. But hearing it now, uttered in _that_ voice, she was feeling something entirely different. Pride, arousal, and most importantly, absolute love. She didn’t need to reiterate those words, she was certain Regina knew that she herself felt just as ruined. Ruined, but in the best possible way. “God, I’ve missed you,” she finally gasped, still very much out of breath.

"And you have no idea how much I've missed  _you,_ " Regina breathed.

The effect of her raspy voice on Emma was still very much obvious, and as her former professor smirked and raised an eyebrow, she couldn't help the cheeky grin on her face. It had been years since they were together like this, and they had slid back into it like they had never been apart.

Emma hadn’t realized how much she craved the woman, needed her in every fabric of her life. She supposed that anyone looking from the outside-in would think it unhealthy, how much she needed her. She couldn’t have imagined ever finding someone like Regina; what she felt for her went beyond the physical and into what she had always dreamed of, a sense of belonging.

She wondered if Regina had any idea how much that meant to her, the feeling of belonging with someone, _to_ someone. Growing up with no family, Emma believed she would never know what it felt like to come home. But meeting Regina was exactly that; it was like coming home.

Did it scare her, the possibility that this might not work out and she could get hurt again? Hell, yes. But this time around, she knew better than to let fear dictate her life. She couldn’t let the uncertainty of the future force her away from the woman she loved with every atom of her being. No, no matter the circumstances, she would stay and fight, and love with abandon.

Watching the blonde, Regina could tell that she had become lost in her thoughts. She lifted a hand up to caress her cheek, hoping she could redirect Emma’s attention to her. “Is everything alright, my love?”

She kissed the palm of Regina’s hand and nodded quickly, her eyes starting to water despite her greatest efforts. "I just…" she paused to steady her voice. Her heart was brimming with so much joy that it felt on the verge of bursting. _Be still,_ she pleaded. _It’s literally the worst time to have a heart-attack_.

Finally finding her voice, she murmured, "I love you." There was so much more she wanted to say, but she hoped those three simple words would be enough to portray to Regina everything she couldn't voice aloud.

"I love you too, Emma," she said with another intense kiss, her own tears beginning to fall down her cheeks. All the struggles they had faced, all the reasons why they couldn’t be together in the past dissipated entirely in that moment. All she knew was that she adored this woman with everything she was, and that was all that mattered.

It made no sense to her, how she could have ever let her go. But she was also aware that what she had gone through was not an easy thing to deal with. Could she be certain that the two of them would never experience difficult times again? Of course not, but she had changed. So had Emma. Despite the two of them still very much in love with each other, they had become stronger and more emotionally stable.

The changes the two had gone through these past few years, Regina was sure, were paramount to their individual progress. Perhaps the only thing she regretted was the amount of time they had spent apart. Still, she chose to push that thought away. They had their whole lives ahead of them, and she planned on spending every second of it by Emma’s side, depending on her and supporting her in return.

Leading her in, Emma reveled in the warmth she felt as she intertwined her fingers with Regina's. She was aware that there was much to discuss, but for now, all she could think of was her desire to show the woman next to her how much she loved her, how she had longed for her. She used her other hand to lift Regina’s chin up as she faced her, giving her a look that she hoped was easy to understand.

 

Regina couldn’t help the shiver that traveled down her spine as she gazed into emerald eyes now dark with hunger. The thought of being with Emma again after so long was enough to excite her, and she found that she was more than ready.

 

In fact, they were both ready, but Emma had no intention of rushing it. When she finally kissed Regina, there was nothing hurried about it. It was slow and sensual, and it communicated what she was planning to do to her for the rest of the night. It was not enough for Emma to have Regina’s heart—she yearned for every inch of her, for the softness of her flesh. She had a craving for the taste of her on her needing lips.

 

She wanted to consume her, and wanted to be consumed by her in return.

 

Regina couldn’t understand how a simple kiss could have such an effect on her, but she supposed she shouldn’t have been so surprised. The younger woman had always been able to arouse her so easily; she was putty in her hands and she couldn’t bring herself to resist.

 

Lifting Regina up and wrapping her legs around her waist, their lips never parting, Emma made her way to her room upstairs. After six years of no physical contact, she’d be damned if she didn’t make love to her on a comfortable bed. When they finally arrived, she gently lowered her down and took a step back. The sight of her ex-professor, hair disheveled and lips bruised from the force of their kisses, was enough to make her tremble.

 

Regina didn’t know what was going through Emma’s mind, but what she knew for certain was that she needed to feel her skin against hers immediately. With that thought occupying her mind, she all but lunged towards the blonde, quickly pulling her tank top over her head and tossing it somewhere far away. To her surprise, Emma was not wearing a bra underneath, and she was not quite prepared for seeing her almost completely bare.

 

The area between her thighs suddenly felt very wet.

 

As Emma stepped out of her shorts, now utterly naked, Regina was so very thankful that the younger woman had remained so fit over the years. Her abs were as defined as ever, and her body as a whole still looked like it was sculpted by a God. She couldn’t wait to feel every part of her.

 

Emma watched as her former professor looked at her, her body suddenly feeling very hot under her intense gaze. She couldn’t bring herself to look away, though, despite the threat of being swallowed whole. Instead, she committed this moment to memory, and hoped that Regina would continue to look at her like that for the rest of their lives.   

 

Finally snapping out of her daze, she didn’t hesitate as she reached around and unzipped Regina’s dress. Her movements were slow and deliberate, and she couldn’t help but feel incredibly pleased with herself as she sensed the woman shiver beneath her tracing fingers.  When Emma caught a glimpse of what lay beneath as the dress fell to the floor, she hoped that she wasn’t visibly drooling. Regina was wearing a black lace teddy with garters that covered just enough skin to drive her mad with lust, and Emma wondered if the woman had anticipated that they’d end up here.

 

Why else would she choose to wear that, looking like the very manifestation of sex and sensuality?  

 

Regina gave Emma a moment to take it in, she had worn this specifically for her after all. But one moment was all she was willing to give. She needed the woman’s body pressed against hers. She needed her fingerprints _everywhere_. As she slowly unbuckled the garter belts and lowered her stockings, she could feel Emma watching her every move. When the lace teddy was discarded next, leaving her body very much on display, she whispered seductively, “Touch me.”

 

Emma groaned as she quickly made her way towards the stunning woman that stood before her. Placing a hand on her lower back, Emma pushed her backwards and onto the bed with her own body. She placed a single kiss on her full lips, long and deep, then began her journey down.

 

Regina’s back arched upwards into Emma’s lips, her body aching for more. She knew Emma well enough to know that she wanted to take things slow, to savor every little touch and taste. Under any other circumstances, she would have indulged her, but right now, she required release. So despite the pleasure she was feeling as the blonde licked and sucked on her painfully erect nipples, she needed her elsewhere. “Emma,” she moaned, her fingers making their way through blonde tresses and pushing down. “ _Please_.”  

 

But Emma was stubborn, and she was determined to make this last a while longer. So her lips remained on her chest, kissing, biting and teasing. It had been so long since she had seen Regina like this, since she had been able to touch her like this. She wanted to explore the woman’s skin once again, to outline every curve and contour and to learn _everything_ she was by heart. 

 

“ _Emma_ ,” she moaned again. She loved the woman, but she honestly couldn’t bear any more teasing. Every touch was unraveling her, bringing her impossibly closer to the edge but not enough to push her over. “Inside,” she gasped, her fingernails digging into her scalp. “I want you inside of me.”

 

“ _Fuck_ ,” she groaned, the Regina’s raspy voice echoing around the room and traveling straight to her throbbing core. As much as she would have loved to stick to her plan, she knew that she was incapable of denying Regina anything. So, with a final bite to a taut nipple, Emma made her way down to where the brunette desired her most then spread her legs. Emma couldn’t help the moan that escaped her lips as she saw how ready the older woman was, her wetness dripping down her thighs and onto the sheets.

 

Regina watched closely as Emma, with a single finger, took a long swipe along the length of her sex. The slight pressure was enough to make her clench her thighs, and as the blonde lifted her now coated finger to her lips, wrapping a tongue around it to taste her, Regina felt a new wave of arousal rushing to her center.

 

Despite knowing that the woman she was straddling couldn’t wait much longer, Emma took some time to appreciate this moment as it reminded her of the very first time she had tasted her. It was so very long ago, but she could never forget Regina’s distinct flavor even if she wanted to.

 

It was like no time had passed at all.

 

Regina was losing patience, so she forcefully grabbed Emma’s hand and pulled it back down to her aching core. “Inside,” she ordered. “Now.” When the blonde finally thrust two fingers in, Regina let out a guttural moan, her back arching off the bed at the much needed intrusion. “More,” she rasped, and she was very pleased when Emma complied and added a third finger.

 

Emma could feel her own wetness drizzling down her thighs, Regina’s commands coupled with the feeling of her walls tightening around her fingers making her light-headed with desire. She continued to thrust deeply into her, no longer bothering with taking her time. She went back and forth between slow and quick thrusts, curling and circling her fingers inside to take her impossibly higher. The spot she hit next was exactly where she knew it would be. Emma had committed it to memory and, as her fingers reached it, she used her thumb to roughly rub Regina’s clit at the same time.

 

Regina was already so very close, and with that single thrust, she all but screamed as she was sent soaring over the edge. Her body was quaking with the climax, the feeling so overwhelming that she feared she would lose consciousness. But Emma rode it out with her, her fingers slowing their pace until she came down from her high.

 

She only took a moment to catch her breath before she pulled Emma towards her and kissed her, her own tongue slipping inside her mouth and deepening the kiss. Then, with one swift movement, she flipped their positions and straddled Emma, very aware that her wetness was coating the woman’s abdomen. She gave her one final kiss before making her way down the woman’s body. Like Emma, she would have loved to savor every inch of her, but it wasn’t the time to be selfish now.

 

Emma felt Regina’s featherlike kisses cascading like a waterfall on her skin. She closed her eyes and let her head fall back, allowing herself to get lost in the moment, to revel in it. She had never been loved the way Regina had loved her, the way she was loving her right now, and she wondered how she could have gotten so lucky. It made her feel so… _full_.

 

She was so absorbed in this thought that the first touch of lips against her dripping sex caused her to gasp in surprise and pleasure, her hips springing upwards instinctively. The gasp was quickly replaced with a deep moan, and needing more, she tangled her fingers in dark hair and sunk her nails in. “ _Regina_ ,” was all she could manage to whimper, imploring the older woman to go deeper, harder.

 

Regina allowed her tongue to slip out once again and glide firmly against Emma’s opening, loving the sounds she was eliciting from her. She alternated between movements, licking, thrusting, and tracing the outline of the woman’s center, knowing very well how close the woman was. So, wrapping a hand around each thigh and lifting them over her shoulders to gain better access, Regina didn’t hesitate as she enveloped Emma’s pulsating clit with her lips and sucked, hard.

 

The groan that erupted from Emma’s lungs echoed so loudly that, despite her thighs firmly clenching around her head, Regina was still able to hear it. She continued to gently nibble, lick and suck, allowing Emma to ride out her orgasm. By the end of it, Emma’s wetness was smeared all over her mouth and dripping down her chin, and she wondered if the younger woman had any idea how rich she tasted.  

 

When Emma’s climax subsided, Regina lowered her legs and made her way back up. She didn’t bother wiping her mouth as she cupped her cheeks and kissed her, slowly and passionately. She knew what tasting herself on her lips would do to Emma, and as she let out a deep moan, Regina couldn’t help but smirk.

 

“You—” Emma tried to speak, but being almost devoured by possibly the sexiest woman alive had left her quite drained. Taking a few deep breaths, she finally managed to say, “You’re incredible.”

 

Laying down next to her and placing an arm over her abdomen to pull her ever closer, Regina chuckled, “Why, thank you, Miss Swan.” She buried her face in the crook of Emma’s neck and bit down, as if to mark her, then allowed her tongue to gently soothe it. Smirking at the blonde’s soft whimpers, she teased, “You’re not so bad yourself.”

 

The two laid in comfortable silence for a few minutes, their sweaty chests heaving in synchrony as they struggled to lower their heartrates. Coming down from what could have been best described as euphoria, Emma allowed her mind to wander. She had no idea what was going to happen next; she didn't know if they were going to move in together or take things slow. She didn't know if Regina was planning to move back to Boston or if she was considering staying in New York. She had no idea what the future had in store for them, but in this very moment, everything seemed to fall back into place. The emptiness that had become so familiar to her was nowhere to be found, and there was only one thing she could think to say. Bringing Regina's hand to her lips, she kissed it softly then whispered, "Welcome home."

* * *

 

**The End**


End file.
